It’s amazing that the attitude of telling your woman what to do, simple commands such as “go make me some carrot juice”, has come to be seen as mistreatment.
It’s amazing that us men have to learn how to command women.
Does your dog want to be a yappy little bitch, barking every time a car goes by, refusing to sit when told, and unable to heel? Or does it want to be trained? It’s amazing that in this day and age of mandatory education, near univeral employment, and common state enforced marriage contracts, that people have lost track of how to train and manage a woman to be subservient. That the very idea is seen as wrong.
My girl gets cranky when I try to take my own shoes off. She cherishes the symbolic acts of subservience. She gets cranky if I say “please go make me carrot juice”, and prefers the dominant voice. She thrills when I use my feet to kick her off the bed to go do some chore. This is not because she has some weird kink, or some odd personality trait. It’s not Stockholm syndrome. It’s a woman who’se slowly become aware of and has given into the pleasure she receives from being subservient in her role in the love/sex relationship. She was tamed.
Its amazing that this now seems counter cultural or anti pc or mysogynist or what have you. It’s natural, it’s what women want, it’s what works. Its sustainable. Its erotic. Its both sustainable AND erotic. Tell me any other relationship form that is. All others morph into companionate relationships based on mutual interest where eroticism is a sideline, if present at all.
It’s perfectly natural to tell your woman to do stuff, and to expect it, and to have her thrilled to do it. How else do people show gratitude and love? By being equal? That’s just the insanity of our feminized age to even conceive of that.
Mish
dude do you really want to be with a girl that likes/needs to be dominated like that?
Yes
Inherently I would agree most women like it to a greater extent than society deems acceptable, but if its a constant thing then thats just sick.
Says you. For no reason. Not even one that you make up – admit it – you have no reason to say that. You’ve been brainwashed, and don’t want to fix your sick brainwashing.
It also depends on what type of relationship you want. I generally like girls who are smarter than I am and in the long run seek more of an equal type relationship then a father daughter type one, not that their is anything wrong with that.
Yes you are saying that there is anything wrong with that. You said it was sick.
I know many marragies where the spousal age is significantly different – its just not for me.
My girlfriend is 17 years younger. It’s for me. Actually, at 27 she’s getting up there in years. The average age of girls I date has remained at about 24 for some time now.
You’ve got a whole heap of cultural baggage. Daddy issues?! Equality? Do i really want that? Sick?
Where did you pick all that stuff up – do you even know?
The way I see it, equality is an unwanted impossibility. In any situation one person tends to be the authority, and that’s a good thing. Equality gets in the way of effective action – too many cooks. Authority is not a pathology, it’s a natural outcome of physical laws. Authority is only pathological when it’s overbearing. An authentic authority deserves respect and gets the respect they deserve. Take a look at eastern cultures and you’ll see that this notion of being paternalistic and the patriarchy is not seen as negative, any more than being maternalistic and the matriarchy is seen as negative. They respect the natural authority of their elders.
As an experienced and intelligent male, my authority is deserved, and I excercise it. I run my household. I chose mates that fit in with how I run my household. They contribute, and I make sure they contribute.
I sneer at your notion of equality. I sneer because it’s based on fantastical notions that can not be supported in the real world. Your notions simply do not work. Too many cooks do not a relationship make.
If you want a smart peer for a mate, good on you. If you don’t want to be the boss of your household, fine. But there will be a boss. It may as well be who deserves it most.
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Mish, I guess I was overplaying your stated distaste for a heavy power imbalance, and playing off of that with my usual polemic. I’ve grown a fondness for power imbalance, and find it now a cause for celebration and joy. A method of communion.
And I’ve also mentioned that the early twenties are a great time for a man to learn from older women. Nothing wrong with having our mentors also be women, or having them be in positions of dominance at times. Most of us require appreticeship under several skilled masters to learn well. Older women are a perfect match for younger men – but after a point, it just doesn’t work that way anymore. The man does become the father figure, the dominant figure. At least that’s how it worked for me.
Mish said
Cultural baggage: I hope so. I hope I bring the right cultural baggage. I refuse to believe I am merely a monkey, and the girls and people I deal with only think and work on an animal level.
Our primate natures are to be celebrated. As Ken Wilber points out when talking about the hierachies of our being, we transcend and include – rather than transcend and repress. Our intelligence transcends and includes our emotional basis. It can’t exist separately and on top – the foundation is required and included and celebrated. So we game other people socially – trancend and include and celebrate. We are NOT above being primates and having sex with primates. We ARE primates, inescapably.
When you get too heady, you get nerdy, and no one wants to fuck you – you lose elan vital, you lose libido. Your body no longer glows with a vibrant mojo, and your magnetism loses its power.
It’s important to remain primal. Primate. Don’t piss off the gods of base nature – Pan is the man. Don’t shave those legs, don’t lose that funk – embrace your inner pan.
If you refuse to believe that girls work on a primal nature, you refuse reality, and your primal inheritance.
Your loss.
About Daddy Issues, my point is that the concept of Daddy Issues is an insane cultural artifact. The man sometimes acts paternalistically towards his mate, and the girl sometimes loves that, feels safe, and feels sexy and turned on by that. It’s not an “issue”.
It’s a stupidity of feminist indoctrination that hates male power to think that the man being a father figure in the relationship is negative or a sign of “issues”.
My girlfriends ALL call me Daddy. I AM Daddy. It’s a hell of a lot more healthy than this equality that you put forth as a virtue.
Your equality is no virtue.
You conflate equality with respect. You conflate domination with disrespect and abuse.
You’ve got it back asswards. Through domination and authority true respect is earned and given. Through equality no respect is earned or given.
Here’s a quick image that should sort out authentic authority versus pathological domination.
Consider all the substitute teachers that you had. Which ones commanded respect and obedience?
THAT’S how you treat women. Exactly like that.