Decades ago I was a frequent and very long term meditator who practiced chi-kung and off the body chi-kung healing touch. It’s been studied that your screen refresh rate goes up if you meditate frequently; as numbers flash by on a computer screen you can see more of them distinctly even at very fast rates.
So during this time in my life I was keenly aware of what happens during the first 1/2 of a second of eye contact.
It’s a really magical time. It’s incredible how much information humans share in that time. I always try to translate my concepts in a rational scientifically reasonable world view, but sometimes more information is conveyed by being more poetic or even metaphysical. Some experiences I’m at a loss to find any frame of reference for whatever.
During that period in my life, I was able to make people turn around to see if I was looking at them or not. I even did this in a meditation hall, where people are not supposed to move. Very consciously, I picked out people, and one by one told myself that I would make them turn around. I then used my gaze and felt into them with my eyes.
One by one, people turned around. But they were annoyed, and gave me a harsh glare. As if I were being disturbing.
My energy was not good at that time. I was highly sexually supercharged, and had no outlet. I was a fucking mess, and a hyper aware, spiritually powerful mess.
During that time my best friend was an accomplished meditation practitioner with deep social connections and long association with many top teachers. Teachers who you hear incredible stories about; about people stopping all thoughts for a few days after a brief encounter, and so on. The stories are so common that it’s a thing, in Buddhist circles. Anyway, I remember vividly one day walking down the street with him, and people would smile in their eyes and lips and say hello to him as we walked past. Not one person said hello to me. Over and over. It wasn’t random. It was awesome. I was a bit jealous, and felt excluded. But I also realized that this was a hell of a life lesson. Maybe one day I’d get to the bottom of it.
Well, last night was amazing. I took some ritalin, which increases my clock refresh rate of course, and drank a bit. As people walked by, I noticed what happened in that quick instant as our gazes met. And most everyone I looked at shared a gaze with me. Finally! I was not harsh anymore. I was open, loving, accepting, joyful, calm. People didn’t feel unconfortable in my gaze, and the spark was full of comraderie and shared human condition.
Later J and I went to the disco, and I had the feeling that my gaze was a bit magical. I had the feeling that girls were checking me out and being attracted. Well, I’ve been delusional before, who knows when drinking and doing a mild stimulant. But then as we were dancing near a troupe of 4 very hot very young girls, one of them danced in front of me then started grinding on me. I held my ground, and let her grind, all the while J was burning up with jealous anger. This was so blatant. I was loving it, and J and I were talking about it as it happened. So funny. While this was happening I was having a lot of eye contact with the other girls. It was amazing. My vibe was so on last night, like nothing I ever remember. (Well, that’s not quite so. I’ve had some other great days. But I think this was a peak of peaks.) The eye contact went very well; I really wish I had better words for it. The girls appreciated the attention, didn’t turn away, and we shared the joy of sharing gazes, all the while dancing.
The whole time I was doing chi-kung on my girl. She feels this when I do it, and sometimes ask me to “do magic on her”. My hand was resting on her spine. Her vibe is also very good.
I’ve danced with very hot girlfriendss in clubs before, and sometimes my vibe has been very good and I’ve felt that I’ve helped to improve the mood of the club. You can be fun grandpa, and have a social effect on crowds. People like to respect older folks and see them having a good time. It’s happened a few times, if I’m not being delusional. But last night I really felt I was getting eyeballed and checked out by a great many attractive young women. Inside the club and out. It was quite unusual, for me.
I told J that it was her love that was powering all of that. She couldn’t appreciate my metaphysical frame of reference, but it does make sense to me.
People are highly evolved to make snap judgments about vibe, and are incredibly attuned. I have no idea how so much information can be conveyed so fast. Subjectively it feels like it happens in the eyes and eye contact, but who knows. Of course I get social validation by being with a doting attractive young woman, and that can cause people to try to grab me from her, for fun, like that girl and her troupe were playing at. But think about it for a moment. If they can sense my vibe, what about hers?
Before I’ve been to clubs with girls with a bit more scatterbrained vibes. That’s also a reflection on me.
This time my vibe was at a lifetime peak, plus she has a more well rounded character and vibe than other hotties I’ve been with. Hot and not crazy. That’s a much more powerful combination. And when I say her love powered the interest in me, I’m talking about her vibe as if it’s a metaphysical force; that’s the best way to imagine it. A force people feel, that changes who I am, and makes people more interested in me and what it is she is clearly getting from me.
I’ve long been aware of a duty to hold a good vibe. Our vibes hugely influence each other. Even strangers on the street.
One of my teachers has the practice to make as much eye contact with strangers as he can. He has that much belief in the power of the gaze.
I could write all the very positive eye-contact down to a being a bit high and delusion, but for the the real physical actions; that girl was grinding on me for maybe 10 minutes, and her friends were so comfortable in the situation. I knew I was in a rare zone, and then real effects.
Hard to put into words my vibe, but:
1) Lately I’m not hungry for sex from other girls. I used to always be. So I can look at a hot girl with appreciation, without exactly wanting to fuck her now. That seems to have a strange counter-intuitive effect. J has me very calmed down, in a way I don’t remember ever feeling before.
2) I was thinking about improv lately, and I think that relates to being in the moment – even that impossible to act upon 1/10th of a flash of energy second when eyes meet. You can be sort of egoless, groundless, open, and connected. And loving. It’s a state of improv and fluidity and trust.
Blogging has really helped me in my life. It always helps to have contemplations to work on, and then bring the organized insights to the public page, and then use those to go further. Lately I’ve been talking about my old chi-kung social habits. I stopped being social about chi-kung for many years, because it’s so completely out of the frame of reference of most people.
But it’s not, though.
We all know how eye contact feels so different with different people.
I’m lucky to have had seeds planted in me many years ago, by those advanced personalities. And I include my father and grandmother in the group of advanced personalities whose beingness was itself a teaching. It’s time to publicly acknowledge the esoteric teachings and practices and not be ashamed of standing out as a weirdo because of them. It’s very valuable stuff, and thanks to the teachers, and gratitude. Maybe I can pay it forward a bit.