I’ve been getting deliberately over the top in my gym workouts, considering them performance art. I literally dance during butterfly wire workouts, and do very long sets of unusual movements, with increasing and substantial weights during the set.
After a set, I sometimes do a little Rocky Balboa hands above the head all pumped up triumphant dance. Or if not that, I’ll expend the remaining energy on immediatly going over to a different piece of equipment for another boasting crazy set of reps. Then immediately go to a different piece of equipment. Doing weights that previously have taken several minutes for my heartrate to settle down from. It’s a near super human show, and is very showy.
Because it’s so over the top, I’ve given myself permission to just admit it, and to just do it without embarrassment or apology.
I’m no longer trying to tone it down.
I get to do that now. I’ve earned that right. I’m at a level of fitness that is elite, and I get to show off. I’m proud of it, and really enjoy it, and get a real strong body rush about it. It’s a drug, during the workout, and makes a huge difference on how I’m perceived after the workout.
So anyway, during the butterfly dance, I was doing an impressive and skilled dance with heavier and heavier weights. I’d do a crazy long set, then increase by 10 kilos, and do a different dance. And repeat. On my last increase of 10 kilos, instead of dancing, I did a burst of very rapid straight elbowed butterfly pulls. Boom boom boom – very fast.
Two teenage girls who were watching let out a sudden squeal, then covered their faces, then turned around in bouncing embarassment. The whole gym heard their squeals, and knew what it was about.
I then just walked outside to work on the heavy boxing bag.
I’ve seen that type of reaction before, in an old RSD video, and the explanation was of “spiking” the girls something or other.
My opinion at this point, from my very limited experience, is that this is not a signal of the girls being down to fuck. It’s more of a signal to the crowd as a whole that they are nearing the age of being sexually ready. They are being bouncy and sexual publicy, as a communal display of coming of age and being ready for attention.
I may change my mind on that, but that’s the feeling so far.
By the way I’m very aware of group politics. I always try to share any status increases I may be getting. The other day one guy was just starting in on his weight lifting journey but was working very hard. Harder than anyone else there. I gave him a fist bump on the way out. That means more from my very fit self than it would have from my self last year. He seemed to really appreciate it.
The girl behind the desk yesterday was new. On the way out the door, I turned around, went up to the desk, and told her that she looks pretty. She does. I have no interest in fucking her, and am not trying to fuck her. I just thought she’d appreciate the compliment – especially in front of the other girls. She took the compliment well and her smile was warm.
I’m very aware that you don’t get status merely by being strong. It’s a political thing; you have to share status to gain status.
Also people get jealous, so you can’t avoid politics. Being strong and standing out requires politics.
A girl who two years ago seemed to me to inerly smirk and laugh at my unattractive presence now will hop fast to leave the gym at the same time as me, and blushes unabashedly when I give her compliments. I have no interest in fucking her, but of course play with the idea when she’s presenting her ass during floor workouts. The sexual tension and very mild flirting isn’t about fucking her, or not fucking her. It’s just about sharing love and life, even as strangers in a room. A hidden sexual tension is fun; I see it happening with a few girls now. That didn’t happen before.
My decision to let go and just flat out be weird about being super strong seems timely and not inappropriate. It would have been socially fool-hardy before my current level of fitness. But showing off is different once your level is crazy way out there. It’s hard to argue with it.
My and my live in girlfriend went to the beach with a similar aged friend (22) of hers. We LARPed the role play game of both of them being my girfriend, and strutted around the beach, one on each arm. Then later took pictures of each other as if we were a happy threesome. It was a hoot. My girlfriend seemed to get turned on by the idea.
We even play-invited her to be the 2nd wife, and she agreed with enthusiasm that she’d be into that.
Too bad I’m not into the girl. That direction is open, in general. I’m just strangely not looking in that direction lately. Whereas before I’d insist on having more than one girl, now I’m simply not persuing it, and don’t have much of an idea why. The drama around losing V might have something to do with it, but it’s also probably because this one suits me well enough in most areas that I’m not anxious to round out unmet needs.
I’ll remind readers that I’m near mid fifties, and have an ugly face, and wear a wig over my balding scalp, and I’m short. If I were not so attentive to maximizing my personality and looks, giving a compliment to the gym clerk girl would not be appreciated. She’d see me as below her level, and feel insulted and affronted for me even trying to dance with sexual energy play.
A theme I will keep repeating is socio-sexual class mobility.
You are socially what you make yourself socially. People would be shocked at just how much class mobility is possible.
Update: You know how politicians are taught “power poses”, and how we are often reminded that alpha poses will affect our state of mind, and thereby our actions, and also how we are perceived?
Well, power poses are basically mimicking the body posture that you can’t help but have after 6 months to two years of weight training. When your lats are big, your elbows stick out. When you walk, you will be in constant “alpha” power posture, because that’s the actual shape of your body.
And since you are not consciously striking the pose, but can’t help it, because that’s just the shape of your body, it will have an affect on your state of mind, and how you perceive your social status.
I don’t believe in fake it until you make it. I believe in make it until you make it. Get real life positive feedback, and develop real life positive feedback loops.