D said:

Totally over the top exaggeration, but notice that Travolta starts out in his own world and then he doles out the eye contact AFTER women notice him, like his attention is reward. Then the girls start competing for it and a frenzy ensues. Its a true thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W29xpRD0BwE

I like that example, even if it is extreme.

I’ve seen people do what looks like chi-kung or tai-chi as a style of disco-dancing. When I dance usually it’s a form of chi-kung. If I hold my hand above my head, I’m actually trying to feel body-centered emotions and energies that I associate with that space from long habits of chi-kung practice, and I try to feel into the energy of the room. It’s a good way to connect to the positive energy of the crowd. It’s life affirming and celebratory, and as I’m embodying that connection and celebration, that connection becomes a real interactive thing; people feel/sense my vibe and it’s a feedback interaction.

I really can bring up the energy and positivity of crowds. Not from an invisible force, but from in the usual ways; people feel better when they notice other people around them who feel good and are positively interacting. And as your video points out, you can get more subtle in your positivity. And people aren’t used to seeing that level of body-mind-space subtle-energetic presence and awareness, so that’s slightly exciting and becomes a mutual celebration of the human condition.

I remember as a teenager me and some friends had as a life philosophy and near religion to party hearty. There was something in that, if you replace the word party with celebrate.

Disco crowds can actually sometimes be bored and depressed. I’ve seen this change to a crowd being energized and into a more genuine party mode. Sometimes that happens just by the night progressing, but if there is no live band, music alone doesn’t always get people to act as a crowd and share their celebration. Being out can actually be a very lonely experience for a lot of people.

I also reach below my feet in a lot of chi-kung dance moves, and move the energy up and down visibly, while being spatially aware. And I try to move much less than the girl; dancing is about appreciating her, much more than it is showing off how well I can dance. She’s the focus, I’m there to celebrate her. Which helps her to celebrate me; women like to be celebrated, and appreciate it.

It’s subtle, and noobs or keyboard jockeys won’t have the life experience to get that point. It’s not pedestalizing to be really into a woman and to let her know it. That’s part of what people do that’s cool; we appreciate each and compliment each other. It’s only pedestalizing if you get needy and over-compliment as if you could purchase attraction with compliments.

It’s not supplicating to appreciate. I suppose that was a key, and new element, to my more magnetic vibe that night. Less hungry, yet more appreciative. It’s surprisingly not a catch22 or paradox. Sort of a Buddhist ideal, as Buddhists are always talking about the 3 “kleshas”, or disturbing emotions, and forever hinting at some mysterious alternative way to interact, that is compassionate and loving and appreciative, yet not needy.

The 3 kleshas are passion, aggression, and indifference. But passion is a contentious klesha, and some say it’s not an issue at all. That’s a subtle one. The interesting klesha, I think, is indifference. Also sometimes translated as ignorance. But apathy is said to be a type of emotion that gets in the way of this mysterious enlightened non-dual present open hearted mind.

So appreciation without necessarily tying that to getting a phone number and a fuck winds up being strangely attractive, as a state of being. Not exactly a state of doing; it’s an interactive state of being.

In the same way that improv is actually not just something that you do, it’s actually a state of being. My recent post on improv shows brain scans that support that theory. It’s how you hold your mind and interact; not just some sort of verbal or musical fluency and quick-witedness.

My buddy/guru kept trying to tell me how seductive it was to not be too desirous, but I could not take the advice, because it’s also extremely seductive to be hugely turned on and into and uncontrollably want to fuck a girl. I’ve seduced girls with the power of that passion many times, and it’s a well documented and studied real dynamic.

This is a different dynamic that is also powerful, and more sublime. In some contexts it seems its quite a bit more powerful.

But you can’t make that state of mind, the way you can make a hamburger. You can’t create that interpersonal dynamic in the same way you might by singing a song or reading a poem or “doing the cube” or some script. It’s a subtle state of being that may take weeks or decades to fleetingly “attain”. And it most likely relies on external or interpersonal setups, such as “raising merit” in Buddhist speak, or feeling as if you are an overall positive force of mostly not too fucked up karma, in regular guy speak. And being loved and having a bottom bitch who you give love and frequent female-orgasmic sex to really helps a great deal. Our minds are also socially intertwined and interpersonal, so getting your life and shit together is a big part of what state control is all about.

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