I hope that I’m not overstepping boundaries here, pulling a comment into a post again. But we all have our anonymity.
X, what you espouse is fine and dandy. However, I’m sure I’m not alone in this:
Almost all my life, since becoming sexually aware, every woman with whom I wanted to become romantic said to me some version of, “You’re such a great guy, you’re going to make some girl a great catch.” But never her. Whatever woman I heard that from always passed my romantic desires into the future, and on to some other fictional woman “out there.”
For forty years, as I am now 60, the same gentle yet devastating rejection. Over and over again.
Enter the internet, and Game. A day late and a dollar short. Late to the table again, I missed dinner.
At 60, I cannot make up for lost time. I am stuck with over 40 years’ worth of memories of nights sleeping in an empty bed.
So if the Three Rs don’t have the answer for younger men to the same plight that I have suffered, who does? You? If so, time’s a wasting. If a man cannot learn how to get over the first hurdle, he cannot finish the race, let alone win it.
Hi John. I understand and empathize. I used to get the same words from girls, all the time. Some even went so far as to say that they used to think that I was gay. It was bad, for many years.
Before and after I divorced, at age 24, I dated, but not as much as I needed. Before and after, older women saw me in a better light. Even my wife was 12 years older – but at 36 she was holding up perfectly fine, at first.
Things improved for me the more I dated. I did date a few young hotties, but it was easier to keep older women interested in me, and I also used to fly in an Indonesian girl to live with me off and on over three years. It was the Indo girl who taught me how to be dominant in a relationship, as she was culturally and naturally submissive, plus my employee. Since then I’ve treated every girl as my employee.
If you are 60 and want to make up for lost time, can you relocate to a country more favorable for a man of your age to date? The ex for my 21 year old Filipina, back when I was living there at age 39, was 60. And his newer replacement girl was at least as stunningly incredibly hot. Nineteen, as I recall.
If you do relocate, chances are it will take a few years of learning curve to get out of the chump zone. That’s normal.
Reading stuff on the old Roissy blog, pre 2012 might be a big help towards being dominant and playful and charming with girls. I can’t see much value on Rollos blog in terms of that, but if you can then great. Just be careful not to swallow his poisonous idea that you will stop being dominant and charming the moment you assume a provider role. That’s self defeating garbage advice used only as panacea for wounded men to feel better about not being able to turn around their social positions within their current relationships, and to prevent heartbreak in their future ones. As actual game advice it’s anti-game. Learned helplessness that keeps men down.
Roissy teaches bullshit learned helpless too – especially now, with his insane dark triad nonsense. You are what you are, and if you fake that then you are not loved, and care not. It’s difficult for most guys to tease out the wheat from the chaff.
As for Roosh, I have not read his books, but I’m not aware that he gives any dating advice at all, or that he dates. He gives seduction advice and he “busts a nut”, as he calls it. Both him and the girls he masturbates into seem completely disinterested in ever meeting again. That’s complete failure in my opinion, on so many levels. From before the beginning all the way to finishing too soon.
As for my blog, I try my best, but it’s incredibly difficult to give dating advice. Mostly I talk about my own life, which is often a bit fucked up, and of course requires my personality at the center of it. You’ll have to tease out the wheat here also. I plan to write some ground breaking and important new pieces, but frankly am a bit put off by the lack of comments here, so keep putting it off.
The key is to date date date. Blogs and advice can help, but you’ve got to date.
At your age that will be much easier in countries where the girls are poor and into dating older guys. If you put a lot of time and effort into learning charm, you will be surprised what genuine feelings young women can have for older men.
People with no experience of young women or girls from other countries have no option but to sqeeze square pegs into round holes. They’ll think that the girls are only with you for money, fake their orgasms, and won’t love you.
Ya, even the girl might think that at first. But it’s straight up biology. The poor things do fall in love, and will orgasm, and will get quite attached, if you know how to be charming as fuck, a great lay, and dominant. More than likely you’ll get marriage proposals more than you like, once you learn how to be fully social that way.
But of course the more socially skilled you are, and the higher up the value ladder you make yourself, the more options you’ll have with what types of relationships you can create and sustain. Some people put more than one girl into the same house. Some do partner swapping. Some maintain open relationships. The types of relationships people have been having are innumerable. Just never judge a book by it’s cover. It’s how your woman treats you that determines your status in her eyes. Not how keyboard jockeys put pegs into holes.
JakeS said:
John, I’m your age. I would also encourage you to re-locate to SE Asia if at all possible. I came here three years ago and it changed my dating life vastly for the better. I had studied game for quite a few years before I moved and was reasonably competent at seduction, but not with the quality and age differences that I enjoy in Asia – it’s night and day.
You do still have to be somewhat careful of catching oneitis or falling for a gold-digger (there are plenty here, you just have to get experience and you’ll become able to spot them instantly). It helps to have a system, and I find Blackdragon’s blog great for maintaining multiple, non-monogamous relationships.
Good luck!
X, sorry to hear that you’re discouraged by the lack of comments – totally understandable that you are. But bear in mind that you’re not only writing for people who read you today, but for those who come across your stuff years later. You really are performing a valuable service and I for one really look forward to reading those posts you mentioned.
Ken said:
I think getting into qigong and meditation would be vital for the 60 year old guy. He needs everything he can to build attraction and qigong and meditation really helps with the internal stuff.
Also some workshops in tantric sex is a great way to learn sensual and erotic intelligence.
Mens workshops that work with masculinity is a great way to work deeply with masculine energy.
Learning some form of martial art would help a lot.
There are good qigong resources here including stuff that works specifically on sexual energy:
This exercise is great for building up sexual energy:
The standing meditation postures horse stance and San Ti she are especially good for building masculine energy.
For game/inner game I would highly recommend these two guys:
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheFearlessManTV
Sans company has some great programs:
https://www.arsamorata.com
I think their approaches jive well with Xsplats approach and I think they would be much healthier alternatives than what is often recommended to guys.
The No More Mister Nice Guy book can be very helpful. So can the Forum connected to the book:
http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/forums/
This book is good too:
Some therapy is often very helpful in addressing psychological issues that may underpin some of the issues one has with women.
Best of luck. Never too late to start.
xsplat said:
Great comment.
It’s contentious, but travelled guys will usually say that there is no pussy paradise. Moving, just like verbal game charisma, can get you girls a few points higher than what you are usually used to. So no matter where you are, there will always be low hanging fruit, high hanging fruit, and fruit that is out of your reach. No matter where and who you are.
That’s why your comment is spot on. As always, be the most attractive authentic self you enjoy being. And then also keep in mind logistics and all outer situations. And even though we age, we don’t have to age out of the marketplace according to social expectations. Social expectations are way off; a deliberate lie to enforce the price of pussy for women and to keep the competition down for young men. But you’d better keep raising all possible values all your life long if you want to compete. Then, you just might.
xsplat said:
Once again I want to thank you for your comment. I suppose I might harp on a bit too much about the popular crowd of people looking for excuses and scape-goats for why they suffer and feel mistreated. Although 90% of absolutely everything is shit (books, movies, political movements, etc), and although most hurting men are looking for the fastest way to feel better – which is to collectly scapegoat, there really is a big movement of men who try to help each other self improve and take the serenity prayer seriously. I was looking at the red-pill reddit and was heartened to see very little whining and quite a lot of positivity and actionable content and guys posting their progress and giving tips on what to actually do to improve their lot.
So good to see. Hopefully I overestimate the negative effects of the old big three R’s. Each R once deserved to be a loud voice to a large group, but each slowly morphed and changed and either got corrupted, overstretched their abilities, stagnated, or went slightly mad. So again, so heartening to see a comment like yours which is simple sanity and goodwill with practical actionable advice.
…
Qi-gong and meditation are like lifting weights. It’s a required maintenance, and if you really get into it you get noticably more attractive.
Actually chi-kung can be a spiritual power, in any sense that such a concept can be meaningul to you.
Lately my sex drive has been low. I’ve been living with the same lovely young girl for 10 months, and even though she is extremely easy to live with and constantly shows great interest and effort, this last week I noticed myself neglecting my manly duties in bed.
Today I put on some high powered music – the live stage show version of the War of the Worlds, and did some higher power chikung than the weak punk ass chi-kung I’ve been doing lately, then forecably threw my girl down on the bed and licked her up before ravaging her to multiple orgasms.
It was about time. I’d gotten a bit complacent. How much power and love and mojo and sexual heat I carry in my body is a personal choice. It can be enough to maintain sex multiple times a day with the same girl, if I keep a strong practice up and the girl is compatible.
Or I can let my body and mind slide and the passion will fizzle. It’s got nothing to do with hypergamy – that’s all on me – all within my domain of control. Just like lifting weights.
In fact today is also gym day. And tomorrow I won’t be eating any food. Looking my best and having strong loving spirtually powerful sexual mojo is a choice, but it takes constant renewal and effort. It’s not just a matter of what words to say, it’s a lifestyle choice that requires constant maintenance.
Feeling chi-kung strongly requires a bit of willingly being kind of special. Personally I don’t have metaphysical beliefs that chi is a “real” thing, and consider it the kinesthetic sense, that maps onto subconscioius body and emotional process as a type of synethesia. Synethesia is where people see colors associated with letters, or hear sounds associated with shapes, etc. Chi-kung can make conscious and under control what is usually below our threshold of perception and control, and to feel it strongly requires a kind of giving in to being something very different than a normal man. You become extra-ordinary. You can, with practice and if you want, feel great power in your sex chakra, and a huge heart of heat and love, and energy above your head, and a sea of deep rooted self below your feet. Or you can just mildly feel a ball of something between your palms and wave that around. You can go as deep and big as you like, or just mildly touch in. Obviously when you go deep you feel a great deal more during sex, and sex becomes chi-kung sex, and this effects the woman greatly. The more you feel, the more she will feel. Mirror neurons are a thing.
Adam Jones said:
Hi xplat, do you have a twitter account?
Not sure but somehow I recognized who likely your account some while ago on my timeline.
xsplat said:
I tried to email you but your return email address bounced.
Mango said:
‘It’s how your woman treats you that determines your status in her eyes. Not how keyboard jockeys put pegs into holes.’
Very good food for thought X.