It’s been said that Men Going Their Own Way and the anti-intimacy contingent of pick up artists who are obsessed with an in-group brand of red-pill philosophy are, by and large, bitter social outcasts whose deep underlying frustration stems entirely from their lack of fuckability.
I think that this is true.
I think that you can see this in the writings at the very top of the manosphere pyramid, all the way down. There are very few genuine first person positive experience and self improvement oriented dating and lifestyle blogs for men out there. I’ve mentioned a few in the past. Revolutionarylifestyledesign is a great example of what a positive men’s movement can look like.
Yesterday I was contemplating writing a very negative blog post, entitled “How to spot a loser”, and to point out as many loser qualities that I could think of, with ideas of how to self-improve ones way out of them. Many of the loser qualities I could see in my current psychology, and more of them in my past, and many of them I could see that I’ve already done quite a bit of work on and don’t drag me down quite so much.
Still of course the very fact that losers piss me off might be bit loserish. But is it really? Here is a quote from this article on ROK about MGTOW from 2014
The blunt truth is this: men absolutely hate seeing weakness in other men. This is not some conspiracy to “shame” men into doing something they’re not supposed to like, it’s a fact of human nature. We men have an innate awareness of how infectious weakness can be, and guess what? The MGTOW community reeks of it.
And I should quote the main point of his article and his reason for disgust towards losers;
Everything for them is a “shame” tactic. Want to be in a happy relationship with a woman? Pussy worshiper. Offering information on self-improvement? Scam to sell products. Free tips on how to live the life you want? More shaming tactics.
People who make these sort of criticisms leave no room for a possibility of a healthy relationship or life. According to the more bitter adherents of MGTOW, even if a man is in an intimate relationship with a decent woman on his terms, he is still a slave to pussy who has relinquished his freedom (but somehow dedicating time, money, and effort to gain validation from video games isn’t). This is the sort of attitude you would expect from a hater who is jealous of another man’s success, which is why many men feel repellent to MGTOW as a whole.
I’ve known and dated people with personality disorders. Dangerous people. People who can really fuck you over. Sometimes you can just be in the wrong place at the wrong time and get fucked over by dangerous people. The most dangerous trait of all, is the trait of persecution. It’s always driven by an inner rage that can’t see it’s own source.
J. Edgar Hoover was an active homosexual who spent a good deal of his lifes efforts persecuting gays. He caused untold damage to countless lives.
I once dated a girl with Borderline Personality Disorder who would invariably go through horrible mood swings in which she would dreadfully abuse and alienate all around her. It was difficult to get out of her life, and I had to sacrifice a good deal of my business inventory to do so. She then proceeded to stalk me for about a year, and contacted every girl in every chat and dating site in the new city that I moved to and slandered me. All the while of course still wanting me back.
Hoover and the BPD girl are extreme examples of projection of negative qualities (or more accurately unincorporated shadow aspects of oneself) out onto an other and a complete inability at introspection.
“OTHER people are really bad, so bad that we could even righteously persecute them, and as a group take righteous pleasure in it. And WE are being persecuted by OTHER people.” Clear back assward insanity that is actively impossible to see by people who project. Literally impossible – many in the mental health field will admit this openly – the worst BPD traits – especially projection – are completely resistant to any and all therapy. It’s an active wiring, that you can’t talk a person out of. It’s them damn Jews! It’s them damn Gays! It’s them damn Women! It’s them damn Liberals! It’s not me!! It’s them. Them people are decadent!
I think that the manosphere is horribly infected with this, and is for the most part rotten to the core.
The point of the post that I had in mind; all the ways we have social standing or lack of it; was futile to make, because those who are most lacking in social standing are the least able to admit it. They will dissumulate like mad. Literally like mad. Like literally insane people.
Your social standing directly affects how women treat you.
Your social standing and social facility directly affects how your own woman will treat you.
Women can be kind, generous, honest, loving, extraordinarily sexual, faithful, doting love slaves willing to give their mind body and soul over to you.
Or they can treat you like nothing but an ugly ATM machine and act despicably in all possible ways.
There are social classes of women, just as there are social classes of men. And women are very pliable, and in certain contexts can act at their very best. Just like men.
If you are currently not in good physical shape, you are not in any position to comment on the socio-sexual marketplace. If you are not currently as physically attractive as you can be you do not understand women.
That is because if you are not currently actively working at self improvement and being at near maximum personal attractiveness, you can not see the better sides of women. It will be invisible to you.
And you are not in a position to comment about what you have no experience about. Keyboard jockying is not passing on third hand knowledge. It’s the blind leading the blind astray.
There are incredible, positive, life affirming, joyous opportunities with women. Long term, short term – absolutely everything that you could imagine is possible.
Most of the red pill is defeatest, anti-intimacy garbage, spewed by losers at life looking for companions to complain with, or manipulating the frustrations of others into the personal gains of attention, status, and money. Frustration porn earns ROK big $$.
And that’s not only tragic, it can be deadly dangerous. There are some very fucked up personalities capable of real harm and damage in this world. Genuine psychopaths. Many in this very community.
And there are very positive people.
I know that I have a bad habit of spending too much mental energy on negative people. I have an ex that has a deep personality disorder of being horribly passive aggressive, who is a huge mind fuck, and over the years I’ve allowed her to be very close to me; I even loved her at times, and would even say so. Thankfully she got fat, which is way over the edge into total loserdome; totally unforgiveable for a woman. Much worse than even the mental torture. She was young and hot and attentive and usually loving and in many ways very positive for me, but it was completely impossible to reign in her passive aggression to a managable level; she just would not and could not shut up or stop being incredibly annoying at what often seemed every possible opportunity. And it’s my fault for 1) not just ditching her and upgrading sooner 2) keeping going back to her over and over and 3) keep thinking about how incredibly annoying she is, when apart from her.
So, I don’t want to do that with other losers who deliberately choose to not upgrade and enjoy more out of their own lives. I don’t want to focus on the people who prefer to complain about other people instead of upgrading themselves and therefore their own social circle opportunities.
I still have a long way to go until I deserve to be invited to the parties of the people I admire most. I’m not quite respectable, yet. But I’ve seen and been around good society before. My last main GF, V, was very kind and respectable. The current live in is in all ways at her very best. My fathers side of the family is large and successful in all measures, especially in their marriages and family and social lives. People associate based on perceived social fit; you can’t even know what society is, if you are a loser. All you will see is other losers, and the girls who date losers. Successful people don’t like to hang out with losers.
We’ve all read the same opinion again and again and again. Many top mainstream manosphere blogs are toxic to the spirit. They will bring you down. No matter what truths they hold, after time they can become an obsession that leads to a very pessimistic, negative outlook.
I will go further and claim that this is partly deliberate, and is a crab basket mentality. Losers who don’t want others to succeed claim that success is actually impossible, because it’s society and the nature of women that is sick.
No, society is not too sick for you succeed with women. Women are not hypergamous hypergamous hypergamous alpha fucks beta bucks feminism divorce rape false rape allegations blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Jeesus. They can be everything you’ve ever hoped for, and much more.
Succeeding in every possible way you can imagine is totally possible. It’s all up to you.
We live in a world of easy quick pleasures and very difficult attainment of satisfaction. This is two sides of the same coin, because it’s the easy pleasures that directly cause dissatisfaction.
- Video games
- Social media
- Porn and masturbation
- Poor diet and excercise
- Lack of meditative disciplines
- Lack of musical disciplines
- Lack of group face to face socializing
- Pump and dump sexual lifestyle and lack of pair bonding
- Easy access to addictive drugs and alcohol
Our technology makes becoming a loser the easy way out, and the standard mode of being.
That’s actually good news because all you have to do is to become in the top 10% of attractiveness in enough areas to be attractive to women. That is the start of being in the position to become a dominant leader who women respect and treat well. Because loserdome is so common, you can easily enough rise to become the cream.
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Don’t forget to comment
Random Xpat Rantings 
Gynocentrism. Male disposability. Courtly love. Cultural misandry. Understand them all before you too fall victim to our anti-male society. So many millions of good men have unwittingly perished beneath the boot of anti-male social brainwashing already. Don’t become the next victim of women and their state pimp. No woman has legal and/or financial power over my life. For that reason alone, I’m the most fortunate man to have ever lived. In the next war, rather than sending mostly single white males of prime age off to die, we need to send in all black and brown women.
Is that code for you don’t believe that you can tame a woman to be kind to you and treat you with respect and admiration?
Is that code for that you don’t want to bother to become the type of man who woman want?
Is that code for that you think no woman is worth your time?
Is that code for that you are MGTOW, and would rather forego all the positive that women can offer, including sex, in order to avoid all the real and imagined risks?
Improve your looks, finances, and social standing and you will then be successful with women and in life. Is that what really happens?
How did that work out for the social elite cream of the crop, meaning Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp? If men like these are not immune, then what man is? The answer is obvious.
The road to divorce court, family court, bankruptcy court, and yes, prison, is paved with the bodies of decent looking, financially successful, upper middle class men who believed their woman to be special, under control, and she would never do that to them.
Can it work out with a modern woman? Sure it can. But what do the stats say? A 50/50 spin of the roulette wheel at best. And guess what happens when your bet loses? Complete financial, career, and social devastation with ruthless impunity at her behest at the hands of the state, all other women, and men such as the author of this blog.
Only a fool spins that roulette wheel. And only a complete fool castigates those wise enough not to spin.
Why are you talking about marriage?
Marriage is a stupid idea.
Women are a great idea.
Nothing lasts forever, and relationships only rarely last a lifetime.
I have not followed the dating lives of the stars, however if Brad Pitt and Jonny Depp got divorced, so what?
What’s wrong with that? How are they doing now? Did they get on with it? Are they seeing new people? Did they successfully move on?
Evolution is not the survival of the fittest; it is the survival of the most adaptable.
Breaking up is something we are supposed to learn how to handle in grade school, back when we were still throwing spit balls at each other through empty bic pens. You talk like it’s some gigantic amputation tragedy.
WTF man! Are you a man or a mouse!! Breaking up isn’t that big a deal.
Finances are a completely different and totally manageable situation. Just manage it. Nothing at all to do with women,.
Who is talking about lifetime monogamous commitment? Not me. Not even remotely implied.
Xsplat, you live in indonesia, and as far as i know you never plan to have children. That pretty much fixes all the legal issues for you. You could even have children in indo and be mostly fine.
Im pretty much of the same opinion of you, but I am frustrated by the choice of having children safely or giving up 200-300k/yr of annual income. For now i choose the income
Unfortunately with children, you cant really walk away from the mother without negative consequences for the children. Like it or not, that mother is in both of your lives for 20 years
The actor Burt Reynolds passed yesterday. He made tons of money and bedded women left and right.
A web article today describing his greatly diminished wealth at the time of his death describes how much money he had lost plus his bankruptcy in 1996. The article ends with this sentence:
“I trusted the wrong people with my money”, Reynolds told Vanity Fair, adding that the thing that cost him the most was “women”.
No amount of looks, money, or social status is enough to protect a man from predatory females and their gun toting acolytes. And all women are predatory by nature and their acolytes are sadistic psychopaths by nature. End of story.
I rest my case. If this was a rap competition, I just dropped the mic.
Did you not read my comment above? https://xsplat.wordpress.com/2018/09/07/your-ideas-about-women-are-directly-correlated-to-your-social-standing/#comment-29055 . You are talking about oranges when the post is about apples. If you are concerned with being taken advantage of, take steps against that. Some food is poison, so your master plan is to never touch any food, ever. Also relevant https://xsplat.wordpress.com/2012/07/10/live-outside-the-system-or-the-system-will-eat-you-alive/ –xsplat
Yes, Jeidfifj, wanting children complicates things tremendously.
I don’t have much to comment on about that. I agree that having children in Indonesia is much easier in many ways.
If you believe that Children require the parents to live together until they are 20, then
yes, that’s an extremely high risk to take, in order to have children. I don’t think it’s reasonable to assume that anyone can screen well enough to predict the future of a relationship for 20 years.
Personally I disagree that people are quite so fragile. We can get pretty fucked up and still fix ourselves, especially if the first few formative years were good. I’m going to assume that throughout the history of human evolution, 20 year pair bonding was NOT the norm, and that therefore we are mostly evolved to handle changing family circumstances. More important than stability, I would think, would be maternal care during infancy, and general family support – from wherever it comes from – grandparents, aunts, new fathers, the father only, whatever.
I had a less than adequate mother, while I was living with her. I’d likely have done FAR better without her around. But I had a great dad. There are infinite parenting stories and options and results, and I’m not convinced that statistics are quick to make sense of what can work and what works best. There may be some correlations to divorce that are not causations; there would be a lot of variable to adjust for.
And then even so, why forgo the good for the sake of the great? If you can’t expect 20 years, (and you can’t – not anywhere, or under any circumstance) then why just give up? Isn’t that sort of like saying that you may as well have an abortion if the mother has a slowly progressing heart disease? Maybe the kid could figure things out, eventually, despite the childhood family traumas and serioius problems that 99 percent of us all have.
As for walking away from a mother with a child, I’ve actually done it. She was unfit to be in my life; nasty BPD woman, litterally drove me nuts.
It was better for the child to not live together.
People with children separate all the time. I don’t really see it as a detterant to having children. I see children as a deterrent to having children.
To clarify I more meant the mother is going to be in your life together or not, since they are still the child’s mother, and you and your child is going to have to interact with that mother one way or another.
And how the western world, it’s really easy for your children to get taken away from you as a man, and you can’t predict people 10 years out.
Good points none the less.
Great post. The Losers come out in droves to project their insecurities which proves exactly the point of this post.
I suspect that many people use social conservatism as a mask to hide their paralysing fear of change.
They use it as an excuse to avoid heartbreak, suffering, and joy.
“Heaven, is a place, where nothing, ever happens” David Byrne
People use real truths about differences in how men and women generally behave, to avoid any change.
And worse than that, gather into communities of the burned, compare experiences of being burned, and conclude that only burns happen. Life from the perspective of a person who has simply not yet learned the basic skills of managing deep passionate loving joyful long term relationships, is no place to talk about how women are. It’s so incredibly one sided. Alpha fucks and beta bucks! All women are like that! How the fuck would YOU know! From your few experiences of being ignored or burned? Grow some skills and see women from the OTHER side. And there IS another side!
“No use having any sort of pair bonded relationship, because I can’t know if the woman will stay locked down and good to me and faithful FOR THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE.”
Get out there and get your heart broken, you fucking dweebs. Do it over and over, and learn how to heal and make yourself a stronger, better person. Be a fucking man. Slowly, over the years, learn how to maintain strong interpersonal boundaries, learn how to be charming and charismatic. YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU TRY.
You can’t do it if you don’t.
I used to be a tormented Buddhist, working so incredibly very hard for heaven – that Nirvana where nothing ever happens.
What an incredible bag of fools gold I was sold! Pure shit. Heaven, is a place, where nothing, ever happens.
Life is a place where we navigate risk and reward, win and lose, feel up and down, and do shit.
Outstanding post.
It truly is a perspective and largely a choice to go the route of strength and greatness instead of going the easy, passive, ineffective and complaining route.
You see it EVERYDAY, EVERYWHERE you go. I can actually pick out the difference quite easy just by watching body language alone and when I’m talking to someone face to face it’s as simple as looking into their eyes and listening to their responses.
Losers always look for confirmation. Meanwhile winners work hard, learn more, earn more, and generally achieve things that once seemed like far away dreams. You can literally stand in front of someone and tell them “You can have ANYTHING YOU WANT” and they will nod their head and then go right back to those negative thought circles that keep them trapped.
No one ever said it’s easy to get that hottie in bed, but then if it actually WAS easy would it even catch your interest for more than a few minutes? Would it mean anything at all if you didn’t shape your reality and get her with your own willpower?