I’ve been saying ahead of the curve the thing that was usually obvious long ago.

Money and other status signals make a man SEXIER. Not just a better provider.

Females were 1000 times more sensitive than males to economic status cues when rating opposite sex attractiveness, indicating that higher economic status can offset lower physical attractiveness in men much more easily than in women”


If it were true that all signals of being a valuable provider only inspired segregated practical emotions, why do the most attractive fertile women work so hard to please men on yachts?

Why do women fuck for “fun” on “one night stands” rich men more often? Because there is no emotional barrier of k/r strategy. Capable providers are ALSO more sexy.

Emotions follow opportunity. For women, this includes sexual arousal, and orgasm.

You can be handsome at a party and have no game, but then, “it’s your game to fuckup and lose” Being handsome is not enough. Money is not enough. But they are real variables, with real moistening effects.

Your desire for fake it until you make it confidence can also make you insensitive to competing in the real world. This can be easily amplified by sharing stories with other men who are faking it and have not made it.

Statistics are your friend. Your online community can not fuck you.


Beware every reason your in group chooses to bond

Are you projecting out onto all females who show sexual interest in you your fucked up childhood relationships?

If not, then you must be some freaky superhuman, or won the parent lottery.

I’ve had years of incel pain. Even while I was regularly working out. I was socially medium; nothing too spergy.

At that time I was advised not to complain. I was advised not to show weakness or loneliness. Game and red pill wasn’t invented or recently discovered. Look at black and white movies dating back to when they started being made. Read old books. The human condition isn’t some recent mathematical insight.

Back in the olden times, people knew what you can read about on the internet now. It’s not news.

“Are you projecting out onto all females who show sexual interest in you your fucked up childhood relationships?”

I did. We all do. But also take efforts to notice the sunny side of life, and take pains to notice happy couples. You might even know a happy couple within your extended family.

Roughly 10 percent of couples remain in love and pair bonded until they die.

Glass 90 percent empty?

Yes, it is.

But it is also a glass 10 percent full.

I’m personally happy now. I’ve been happy in this way before. The last time, my mate was not quite enough physically my style, and I was in a long habit of non-monogamy, so I blew up an otherwise good match.

The time before that that I was happy, the girl died, leaving me with 6 months of day and throughout all dreams toothake strong heartbreak.

No one wants to hear that someone else is happy. That’s horrible news. We prefer to hear how other people are humiliated, or about to be taken down a few notches, or how they deserve our help to be raised up.

We all hate to hear if anyone is actually happier.

But I am currently happier than I used to be, and I know many reasons why.

These reasons will resonate with some in groups, and irritate others.

I think that the most salient and topical social dynamic questions are not about my theories of why my 30 year younger girl aches for me every day, but more why in and out groups choose meme sides.

If you identify with people who have lost love and are uncertain about regaining a useful love, you will naturally seek solace in memes.

If you you identify with people who slowly raise their socio-sexual status and slowly year by year gain more experience and positive feedback, you can’t identify with the Rollo camp.

None of the senior Buddhists would believe me when I said I could not visualize.

Imagine an apple floating in front of you. Now see if you can rotate it around in your mind. Look at it from the top, bottom – does it have any blemishes? How clearly can you see it?

Some people see the apple perfectly, like watching a movie, while others have a very poor wavering image. Although it might be hard to believe, a small proportion of otherwise healthy people report having no visual experience at all. In other words, their minds are completely blind – no matter how hard they try they don’t seem to see the apple.

In fact, such individuals are often startled to find that people are not speaking in metaphors when they say, “I picture it in my mind’s eye.” This phenomenon of mind blindness has only recently been given a proper name – congenital aphantasia.

Year after year, people with a different life experience than me were presumptuous. “Oh, you just aren’t trying hard enough.” “Oh, you are just trying too hard.” I don’t recall even 1 out of the thousands of Buddhists I’ve met consider the fact that people may be very different.

Peoples brains are very different. Much of the differences rest on PHYSICAL brain differences, and much of those physical differences are congenital; gene based.

We don’t all see the same world. We have no idea if we see the same color red; it’s not a safe assumption.

Even though I can’t visualize while awake, I have had thousands of extremely lucid dreams; more lucid even than wakeful life. In twilight sleep I can play with visualization. My mind has a switch that tries to make me not see ghosts. It keeps dream reality segregated.

As a teenager I did LSD and tried to hack my brain. I wanted to see auras. After an hour of hard focus while on LSD I lit up in amazement when I did see a flame around my finger. The next day I also could, with much focus, see auras. For the next few months I meditated with diligence on this. After some success I decided that this was the road to madness. Better to let my open eyed visualization skills rest separate within lucid dreams.

A growing list of random insights

Actors and actresses in melodramas must hold their faces in ambiguous poses. Must keep the audience guessing at the next plot twist. This detracts by 80% the interest in the characters. The characters become wooden for the sake of plot tension.

Finally shaky cam has gone out of favor, however loud noises in lieu of real dramatic fear are still common easy ways for grinding writers to push out a script.

Remember that undertone musical note that used to accompanied EVERYTHING? A boat is on the ocean. Brrrrrrrrrrm. Soooo dramatic, sooo undertone. Such an assumption of emotional puppetry. Lazy writers. Eventually even the dull networks realized that even the most easily emotionally manipulated get accustomed. Next trick? Hmm. How about good writing?

Remember the few decades phase of psycho quick edits? Easier that writing.

You know how the drum goes “ba da bum” after every joke? Easier than writing.

You know how you are just staring, semi hypnotized, not really feeling anything? Ya, easier also. That’s the point of this post.

It’s not their fault for not properly entertaining. Becoming quiet can make small things sparkle, and integrate parts of you that you assumed were not even parts.

** I’ve been enjoying the T.V. series recommended to me named Genius. Power plays are timeless. But I hate to see timeless power plays between men and women perverted by P.C. or whatever is the new term for la la land women win.

** The vocal minority are often complaining from a position of envy. Strident feminists are often too ugly and fat to be raped as in their masturbation fantasies. They social signal fear, as if anyone was actually looking at their invisible blubber.

** I remember at six years old being annoyed at the Hercules cartoon. I noticed that catching a falling woman near the ground was exactly the same as hitting logs on the ground. The same brain and organ damage. It’s obvious. Hit your body against the ground at high impact, or hit your body against a super hero’s safe and caressing arms. Can you imagine the whiplash? Inches from the ground you are traveling at a certain speed. Arms don’t slow you down like an air bag. Arms are the same as pavement. Rapid deceleration. That adults watch super-hero movies with this same trope is enough to turn a man into a selective misanthrope. Movie physics.

That time Johnny Carson interviewed the 10 year old genius

There is a difference between fluid and crystallized intelligence.

When I was young I was called precocious. Many years later I learned that the term was the definition of how I.Q. was measured. Some children are a few years ahead. This isn’t transient. It’s a lifelong cognitive feature; at the higher ends of the bell curve children can have adult level cognitive skills, and after time surpass the average adult. That smart ass 6th grade student making a mockery of the obnoxious music teacher may actually be quite a bit smarter than the overbearing adult.

Johnny Carlson noticed that children don’t yet have the life experience to understand what they don’t know yet; the same problem all of us face. We don’t know what we don’t know.

He said that the smart children universally had no idea that they were not yet wise. He said that smart children had no way to understand or value what wisdom is or could be.

I was driving down the street today, revved up and impatient. Some dude on a loud bike behind me tried to muscle his way around me, so I muscled him back into place, so that I could overtake the car in front without him butting in line.

Then another bike edged into my front tire. I edged back in an emotional way, but then the bike quickly veered left and overtook the car from that side.

I saw it was a girl, and tried to catch up, but she was gone.

I had a younger intern here a few years ago who would also consistently beat me in traffic.

I’ll never recover the processing speed that I used to have. I’m still holding on to the crystallized intelligence.

This should be passed down.

I’ve accomplished and experienced mini wonderful lifetimes. I’ve been lucky enough to meet some people at a deep level. That’s always impressive. Year by year I prune what I do give, but also have more to give.

I had thought that my brain was fast degrading, but I think that intermittent fasting and Metformin have afforded me a few years of slower decline. My eyebrows have turned from greying to normal. I have more clear minded days.

Much of my life people advised me to become a psychologist. They thought I had unusual insight and was penetratingly helpful.

I’m feeling ready to explore that role.

I also think that people learn by imprinting, not just by narrative reorganization. I’m looking into setting up microphones and possibly cameras that will record upon sound and motion for the silly yet purposeful things that keep me and my girl mutually entranced. I think that this is the only way to capture and teach deep nuance.

I started learning hypnosis at age 12, and at my age of 53 hypnosis has become the poetry of conversational prose.

I’m embedded in what I’ve tried to learn. I’m steeped in being Canadian, years of being a struggling hard core Buddhist, decades of entrepreneurial business, and being girl obsessed since age 3. Those cultures and many more are developed in me and deserve to be passed down. But I won’t pass them down as rote ideas. I’m old enough to have the wisdom of grandparents and a light touch; seeing many possibilities, yet allowing the student to create his own new possibilities, in his own unique way. If I had to create a brand icon, it would be more cool-uncle figure than wise-father figure.

I have had big personal impacts on people. More than one girl has said to me “just knowing that someone like you exists made a big difference in my life”. My current girlfriend is 30 years younger than me, and I work at home and we live full time together, and she has a shrine of pictures to me and us on top of the piano and over the wall. She complains about how much she loves me. This is common and normal. I know why she does that, and hope to teach it.

I will be taking on clients. It won’t be inexpensive, however I’ll do some initial consults at an inexpensive rate.

I paid a lot of money in my life for the benefit of mentors. Thousands and thousands, when I had almost nothing.

Because there is real value.

I know that I’m more than good at being more than charming, and long term. My “wife” and my ex girlfriends know it too. I’d like to think that in today’s economy this is a valuable thing. The robots and artificial intelligences can’t impart these important skills.

I don’t know for how much longer I’ll be able to impart them, though. I’m told that after 50 or 60 most brains start to get a bit mushy. There is a time window to learn from your predecessors. You won’t get it all from the remaining books. Living traditions are living. Like yogurt.

If you’d like a quick 5 minute interview to suss out if you think I can quickly add value to your life, take a look at the contact page.

The A.I.s are getting paranoid; not the other way around.

Soft de-platforming is when you are suddently asked for your phone number in order to maintain access to your social media account.

1984 could not look far enough ahead, and right now I can’t look even two years ahead. What was that idea that people thought was futurisitc? Something about an uncontrollable point of time in the future where information could no longer be assimilated as fast as it was produced.

There are political implications to an A.I. induced singularity that Frank Herbert, the author of Dune, talked about. But because it’s a singularity, it means we can’t, by definition, know anymore about what the political repercussions will be anymore than Fritz Lang could predict the internet when he made Metropolis.

The A.I.s are CURRENTLY deplatforming people, or at minimum asking for telephone numbers in preparation for ??, based on nothing other than friends lists.

That’s political.

The policial bias of those who are programming the A.I.s has already been declared.

There will be stages where A.I.s program A.I.s. In fact it’s already completely acknowledged by every top A.I. researcher that humans can no longer understand the A.I. algorithms and the A.I. results. It’s ALREADY become black boxes inside black boxes.

Proof that you can’t be happiest without pair bonding

Why I’ve advocated the arts of gaining and replenishing the perpetual springtime of love.

There are different types of happiness. There is the dopamine ecstatic in the moment rush high type. The oxytocin warm meaningful connected contentment type. The endorphin/opioid feeling no pain body buzz pleasure type. And there is the top of the social heap serotonin type.

If being happiest means maxing out as many types as possible, then that happens when in passionate connection relationship, and as far as I know only then.

What seduction is, and how we learn it.

Some years back Neuro Linguistic Programming became a fad when people realized they could apply that form of persuasion to seduction.

Last year Dilbert creator Scott Adams popularized the power of hypnotic 3-d persuasion, and related it to Trumps bid for the presidency.

Here is a talk by an FBI negotiator who reveals many powerful techniques of persuasion:

I was a travelling salesman, and would set up my mini-store full of wares on college campuses and at music festivals throughout the U.S. mid-west. I hung out with other sales-men, and lived the life of a sales man. My target audience was mostly college aged girls.

Sometimes I travelled with a crew of helpers, sometimes I travelled with my Indonesian girlfriend. When I was with her, I’d leave her to do the sales all day while I went back to the hotel to meditate. She was a great little sales girl.

How did she learn?

How do we learn persuasion?

What did I learn from hanging out with salespeople, and how did I learn it? What did I learn from simply putting myself behind a sales table?

In pre-historic times, the art of tool making was passed down from generation to generation, and in thousands of years the shape of the tools didn’t change. Apparently archaic human brains were less creative than modern human brains, but I still believe that we have some vestigial similarities in how we fundamentally learn. We mimic.

We are evolved with mirror neurons. We pay close attention, and we absorb, and we mimic.

As modern humans, we are not constrained to mimic exactly. We filter, and adjust to our circumstances.

First you find a mentor or hero, then you copy his style, then slowly you develop your own style.

But you can’t develop your own style without practice, and that means repeated exposure to your learning environment. As a comic, your ethos is to get up on stage and just do it as often as you can. It’s not only about if you crush it or bomb. It’s also about just getting up on that stage.

Because we need that feedback. Our body and mind will figure out the micro-adjustments. MOST of our adjustments will be sub-conscious. We learn timing. We learn inflection. We learn the value of silent space. We learn how respond with tangential near-non-sequiturs instead of logical facts. We learn how language influences. How body language influences. How eye contact influences.

Learning is not done in a vacuum. It’s not done through books. We need to firstly mimic. Then we need to practice.

I don’t believe that there are enough resources currently for mimicking.

I think it’s become more apparent lately that understanding the sexual market place is not about something that you can learn in a book. It’s about something that you can be.

What you are completely changes how you are perceived and dealt with.

The above sentence is the KEY to understanding the sexual market place.

You can’t just talk about how women are, as if you are not in the equation. Women are very different, depending on each individual man, and on the context. How women will behave towards certain words is a null question. The real question is how a woman will behave towards YOU.

And you are a sexually class-mobile person. You can change from zero to hero, if you’d like to, and are willing to put in the time and effort.

And if you can follow the simple steps, of how we learn.

I really believe that we can’t learn about either the sexual marketplace or about how to improve our dating lives from un-masculine men.

It’s not about book learning. It’s about starting with an appropriate mentor to mimic.

The best teachers will understand what they do, and be able to put that into words. But even the best teachers will not know MOST of why what they do works. They’ll only be consciously aware of a very small part of it.

Even if you study from a wide array of teachers, and put their best insights into practice frequently, you will still miss out on the bulk of those teacher’s value. Most of communication is non-verbal and too difficult to try to squeeze into words. We need to see it and absorb it.
As well as being imprinted by mentors, we are also imprinted by the women that we date. That doesn’t mean you’ll become feminine, don’t worry. It’s more subtle than that. Once you learn to embody the masculine polarity as genuine and with fun ease, you can appreciate and incorporate quite a lot of fun quirks that the girls you are into have. Might be just a way that they say a certain word. Might be an appreciation for a certain type of adventure. Even fucked up people usually have a few fun aspects worth internalizing.
There is no rule book of how the sexual marketplace works, and of how women behave. Because: what you are completely changes how you are perceived and dealt with. This is why we can’t learn from un-masculine men. They only understand how women treat un-masculine men.
One man’s impression about how most mentors in the red-pill PUA and manosphere scenes are not appropriate role models:

Relevant: If you are using Rollo’s mental map of the marketplace and see him as a mentor you need to know this https://www.scribd.com/document/412763803/Statement-on-Removal-of-RT-From-21

Two girls squealed in uncontrollable excitement at a climax of my gym workout

I’ve been getting deliberately over the top in my gym workouts, considering them performance art. I literally dance during butterfly wire workouts, and do very long sets of unusual movements, with increasing and substantial weights during the set.

After a set, I sometimes do a little Rocky Balboa hands above the head all pumped up triumphant dance. Or if not that, I’ll expend the remaining energy on immediatly going over to a different piece of equipment for another boasting crazy set of reps. Then immediately go to a different piece of equipment. Doing weights that previously have taken several minutes for my heartrate to settle down from. It’s a near super human show, and is very showy.

Because it’s so over the top, I’ve given myself permission to just admit it, and to just do it without embarrassment or apology.

I’m no longer trying to tone it down.

I get to do that now. I’ve earned that right. I’m at a level of fitness that is elite, and I get to show off. I’m proud of it, and really enjoy it, and get a real strong body rush about it. It’s a drug, during the workout, and makes a huge difference on how I’m perceived after the workout.

So anyway, during the butterfly dance, I was doing an impressive and skilled dance with heavier and heavier weights. I’d do a crazy long set, then increase by 10 kilos, and do a different dance. And repeat. On my last increase of 10 kilos, instead of dancing, I did a burst of very rapid straight elbowed butterfly pulls. Boom boom boom – very fast.

Two teenage girls who were watching let out a sudden squeal, then covered their faces, then turned around in bouncing embarassment. The whole gym heard their squeals, and knew what it was about.

I then just walked outside to work on the heavy boxing bag.

I’ve seen that type of reaction before, in an old RSD video, and the explanation was of “spiking” the girls something or other.

My opinion at this point, from my very limited experience, is that this is not a signal of the girls being down to fuck. It’s more of a signal to the crowd as a whole that they are nearing the age of being sexually ready. They are being bouncy and sexual publicy, as a communal display of coming of age and being ready for attention.

I may change my mind on that, but that’s the feeling so far.


By the way I’m very aware of group politics. I always try to share any status increases I may be getting. The other day one guy was just starting in on his weight lifting journey but was working very hard. Harder than anyone else there. I gave him a fist bump on the way out. That means more from my very fit self than it would have from my self last year. He seemed to really appreciate it.

The girl behind the desk yesterday was new. On the way out the door, I turned around, went up to the desk, and told her that she looks pretty. She does. I have no interest in fucking her, and am not trying to fuck her. I just thought she’d appreciate the compliment – especially in front of the other girls. She took the compliment well and her smile was warm.

I’m very aware that you don’t get status merely by being strong. It’s a political thing; you have to share status to gain status.

Also people get jealous, so you can’t avoid politics. Being strong and standing out requires politics.


A girl who two years ago seemed to me to inerly smirk and laugh at my unattractive presence now will hop fast to leave the gym at the same time as me, and blushes unabashedly when I give her compliments. I have no interest in fucking her, but of course play with the idea when she’s presenting her ass during floor workouts. The sexual tension and very mild flirting isn’t about fucking her, or not fucking her. It’s just about sharing love and life, even as strangers in a room. A hidden sexual tension is fun; I see it happening with a few girls now. That didn’t happen before.


My decision to let go and just flat out be weird about being super strong seems timely and not inappropriate. It would have been socially fool-hardy before my current level of fitness. But showing off is different once your level is crazy way out there. It’s hard to argue with it.

My and my live in girlfriend went to the beach with a similar aged friend (22) of hers. We LARPed the role play game of both of them being my girfriend, and strutted around the beach, one on each arm. Then later took pictures of each other as if we were a happy threesome. It was a hoot. My girlfriend seemed to get turned on by the idea.

We even play-invited her to be the 2nd wife, and she agreed with enthusiasm that she’d be into that.

Too bad I’m not into the girl. That direction is open, in general. I’m just strangely not looking in that direction lately. Whereas before I’d insist on having more than one girl, now I’m simply not persuing it, and don’t have much of an idea why. The drama around losing V might have something to do with it, but it’s also probably because this one suits me well enough in most areas that I’m not anxious to round out unmet needs.

I’ll remind readers that I’m near mid fifties, and have an ugly face, and wear a wig over my balding scalp, and I’m short. If I were not so attentive to maximizing my personality and looks, giving a compliment to the gym clerk girl would not be appreciated. She’d see me as below her level, and feel insulted and affronted for me even trying to dance with sexual energy play.

A theme I will keep repeating is socio-sexual class mobility.

You are socially what you make yourself socially. People would be shocked at just how much class mobility is possible.

Update: You know how politicians are taught “power poses”, and how we are often reminded that alpha poses will affect our state of mind, and thereby our actions, and also how we are perceived?

Well, power poses are basically mimicking the body posture that you can’t help but have after 6 months to two years of weight training. When your lats are big, your elbows stick out. When you walk, you will be in constant “alpha” power posture, because that’s the actual shape of your body.

And since you are not consciously striking the pose, but can’t help it, because that’s just the shape of your body, it will have an affect on your state of mind, and how you perceive your social status.

I don’t believe in fake it until you make it. I believe in make it until you make it. Get real life positive feedback, and develop real life positive feedback loops.

When a good pump hypes you up into narcissist mode

I’ve been noticing a sort of alter ego, or at least a big mood change that happens early into a set at the gym.

I get pumped up. Sometimes after a set of reps I’ll barely be able to control myself from dancing up and down, Rocky style. So I actually do that. A few days ago I was so hyped up that I actually hop-skipped down the aisle towards the exit as the gym was closing.

I also get a bit competitive. I have to consciously try to reign this in. One guy handled me perfectly.

I’ll explain by remembering how I handled a few characters when I was a teenager.

Character one was a big a bit dumb bully. Eveyoneone was terrified of him, which is what he was aiming for. But everytime he tried to terrorize me I just pretented that he was just being a normal cool and chill nice guy. I acted completely unafraid and unintimidated, and respected him as a person.

So after a while the bully would only briefly test me, then laugh it off, and treat me as a peer.

Another guy was the short guy with short guy syndrome. It was a bit similar. He was full of bluster, but I saw through it and genuinely was not intimidated.

You can behave this way towards barking dogs, by the way. Or bears, from what I’ve seen on T.V. about the bear man. And I’ve heard that this is how you are supposed to deal with semi-domesticated wolves. When they snarl and get aggressive, you don’t do a dominance play on them, you just say “buh”, and look sideways, signalling that you don’t take their threat at all seriously. Yet somehow you still take them seriously. It’s a difficult juxtaposition to explain.

So anyway, this one guy at the gym had to deal with me when I was in my pumped up and competitive state. When I see very big guys near the equipment I’m using, sometimes I’ll overstep boundaries and invite them to try to do what I’m doing. I know. It’s a dick move. Call it short guy syndrome. I’m small, and want to prove myself, publicly, against the huge monster men. I’m slightly offended at their size, and want to pick a fight.

The guy handled it perfectly, with a sort of “buh”. He said sure. Was not at all psychologically intimidated by me. Laughingly moved the butterfly cable weights way down to 60 kilos, and did a simple 10 reps (against my well over 100 of variously shaped reps of a much higher weight.) Then he cheerfully waved at the equipment to let me have my turn.

That really calmed me down. I got my narcissistic supply. We were on the same level, the same footing. He wasn’t beaten down, which was even better. As he handed off the equipment to me with did an imperceptible bro-chin-nod to each other. Actually we did it with our eyes. He actually wound up putting me in my place, while at the same time humanizing me and acknowledging and accepting me. Game acknowledged – well done sir. Mini fist bump with the eyes.

This contrasts starkly with what happened yesterday. A guy with a gamma mindset berated me for using the equipment that he was just about to use. He said I should pay attention and ask people if they are finished with it. Before giving me a chance to let him use it and apologize, he briskly walked away.

Bad social move. I called out to him to get in my say, but he pretended not to hear me, so I shouted louder and louder. Hey, hey HEY! Then walked up to him, apologized in a very loud room filling voice “I’m sorry for my mistake, please forgive me!” He is Indonesian so my public apology HAD to be accepted, and has the paradoxical effect of making him look small and petty. Which he was deliberately being.

It was pretty obvious to me that he was just angry at me really because when I work out I work out many times harder than anyone else and am many times stronger. I sometimes have to breathe very loudly. It looks showy. People get bitter at show offs, especially when their girlfriend is in the room. And his girlfriend was in the room and actually is a big fan of mine.

So I tried to publicly shake his hand, and patted him on the shoulder, but he snarled at me and was very reticent to touch my hand. Later I went outside to the boxing bag for 10 minutes, then came back to him standing beside his bemused girlfriend (who was trying to calmly explain to him that his social assessment was a bit off) and privately apologized again and said that I should have been more careful and attentive to who was using the equipment. Again with the snarl. He really, REALLY didn’t want to be friends.

It wasn’t about the equipment. He just thought it was. Sort of like a child who “hates” a girl, but really has a crush on her. Explain that to the child, and he’ll think you are nuts. My Dad tried to explain that to me about a girl I “hated” when I was 7 years old. He said that one day I’d understand. I thought he was nuts.

When you are not in touch with your emotions, things like that happen.


So I think we need to recognize that getting physically pumped up is a kind of drug; a very strong drug. It can make big emotional and psychosomatic changes in a guy, very fast. Not quite as much as confronting another man in a fight, but along the spectrum towards that. Not all guys have that happen to them, but if you suspect a guy is in that state, it’s not a good idea to pull a passive aggressive dick-move at him, as he will be fucking fierce and fearless. He owns the fucking gym. It’s a physical thing. Even as his left brain analytically tries to moderate his actions, his limbic system is primal, and he is the incredible hulk, trying to wear a business suit.

People react differently to my weird high weight high rep showboating sets. Some guys know my name and want to gain some of my assumed higher status by saying hello when they meet me. Another guy is just confused, jealous, and passive aggressive. The other day did about 60 reps of a full stack of forearm pull downs, and just as I was finishing up, he comes up with his camera phone and TELLS me to keep going so that he can record it. I stop and he TELLS me to do it again. I pantomime my heart going very fast (I don’t think he speaks English) and say no again. And he again TELLS me to do it again, so that he can record it.

The next time I came to the gym I saw him give a barely contained gamma snarl at me after I looked up from finishing a long disco-dance-and-boxing butterfly set.

Passive aggressive, and jealous, and angry, and has no idea how to think about his own emotions. Is he admiring me, when he tries to video record me? Treating me like a dancing monkey? Or trying to make me smaller than him BECAUSE I’m bigger than him. “Those stupid jocks!”


The attentive long term reader may have noticed that this post is a little bit code for dissing cluster A schizoid/paranoid personality disorder.

Personality disorders are developmental delays. They look very much like the behaviors of a child, however with the added coping mechanism of a clever adult brain. So you get savant like emotional manipulation out of gas-lighting cluster B’s.

Cluster A’s are famous for projecting out their inability to know what they are truly feeling onto others and society, and this has the strange hypnotic power of building communities of betas.

These communities of Betas might look like average dogmatic Church goers. Nietzsche criticized the church going mentality with his idea of what he calls the slave morality. Heavy on the entitlement and sneering at the powerful at every safe opportunity, while also denying their own very real and very strong will to power. Of course communist power sharing IS a power grab, an OVERT display of the exact same will to power that those they would take power from already succeeded at, through more individualized (or out group power grab) means.

Watch out for these cluster A’s. Learn what is projection and the schizoid/paranoid dismissive/avoid attachment style. These people are not able to know what they feel, and behave like children, yet because they are adults they can be charismatic children. They try to suck you into their slave morality, to form a group. Don’t fall for it.

Don’t fall for it because if you do you’ll never be able to be both dominant and sensitive, and therefore never be adored and adoring.

You need to be able to fully feel that dominant energy coursing through your body. Without apology.

AND you need to be a musician and lover and ultimately sensitive.

A schizoid can never properly do either, and can never properly lead a group. His pathology is baked into his personality and echoes and reverberates into a sick and twisted echo chamber cult-community of curated followers.

Don’t leave it up to thought leaders. The younger generation is going deadly astray. Help them to be less dangerous.

I believe that we have a social and moral duty to act as Grandfathers to guide the younger generation away from this mob-mentality mindlessness. It’s getting existentially dangerous for all of us.

To that end here is an excellent interview of Murray Gel-Mann introducing the history of public intellectuals and the decay of public discourse. I found the interviewer Richard Grannon through a therapist recommendation in Krausers very impressive talk.

Richard strikes me as highly charismatic and deeply well rounded. I’m working my way though his whole youtube channel.

The Rubin Report is another channel I would recommend to any one who finds themselves siding with any political camp. The stated goal of the “intellectual dark web” is to have open debates that allow for calm and reasoned rational discussions, where disagreements are allowed, and even respected.


A few thoughts on religion

halibetlector said:

I saw this today, and immediately remembered that you were banned from Roosh’s forums for advocating exactly what he’s enforcing now.

I suppose it’s better late than never, but he did cause a lot of damage before his recent conversion.

I still struggle to understand people. There are a few newly coined words, which are new useful memes. One is “normie”. Another is NPC, or non-player-character. Another has to do with confusing role play for real life due to social ineptness, I think… I forget the name of that one. (Update: LARP)

I’ve heard that there are biological big reasons that separate the highly creative from the normies. There seems to be classes or castes of humans, who have a very difficult time imagining what it could be like to have the others experiences.

I can’t wrap my mind around the attitude of following that is so prevalent on the RVF.

How they not only put up with the heavy moderation, but embrace it, and, here is the crazy part, how so many so easily flip flop right along in lock step with the leader.

I’ve never been any sort of follower. That sometimes doesn’t work out well in the short term, as I’m less socially agreeable, if being agreeable means accepting conventions and norms.

But the dark side of being overly agreeable seems to me a highly dangerous state of affairs. As exemplified in the group-mind think we see on college campuses.

Roosh kept banning and banning and getting more famous so he could replenish the forum users, and seems to have cultivated a group of extreme followers.  Extreme followers are like Non-Player-Characters, incapable of independent thought, willing to be programmed and reprogrammed as long as they get to claim social status and in-group expertise.  They don’t have the confidence to go against their group, because that means to them a loss of social standing.

It’s ironic that NPCs often consider themselves as social reformers, or as anti-establishment.  The bulk of people who consider themselves as anti-establishment are hyper conformist.  They merely conform to their own insular isolated clique.

As for his turn to “God” (I put it in quotes because it will be a personal subjective experience, not a turn to a “thing” that we can know what he is experiencing), I’m of mixed opinion.

As a guy with a long and deep history of contemplative study from a mostly Buddhist background, I tend to be snobby toward theistic approaches that emphasize dogma. It’s too easy, too certain, and too busybody. Also lacks the transformative tools required for great change – deconstruction and meditation for example. On the other hand, I have no idea what’s his subjective interpretation or personal path. Maybe that particular baby and bathwater is better than his last baby and bathwater. He talks about it as a type of evolutionary journey, so, that sounds positive.

And while his new approach does cut off some of the sickness, it also cuts off some of the insight.

I prefer a transcend and include attitude. Being so polar and extreme is not conducive to wisdom, in my opinion.

But for him, and how his mind works, it may be a better option.

Here’s the thing. Roosh leans cluster A paranoid schizoid. This means that he is not able to process some of his own emotions, and will deny them or project them out, sometimes as a twisted version.

So before he would deny any desire for intimacy. Then project out all sorts of reasons why he was denying his own desire for intimacy onto ills of society and women.

So his brain simply has a terribly difficult time knowing what his brain is thinking and feeling. That’s biological and hard wired, and that’s the hardware he’s working with.

What is the best software for that hardware?

He seems to think he’s found a better software.

That would not be the software optimal for how my brain works. I’m highly sensitive to my emotions and near constantly in a dance of mutual respect with aspects of my self some call the “subconscious”. I have a high tolerance for ambiguity and have learned to stare at death while still choosing to create meaning.

I’ve long had faith that in the long run, truth is the way to go. Roosh has decided that “the black pill” is too nihilistic, and he can’t psychologically handle all that despair. He is turning to a ready made constructed meaning to retreat from the truth of death.

I’ve found that you can stare death down, over and over, and that you wind up being able to create meaning still. You just choose love, because why not? Just because love is meaningless, doesn’t mean it has to be meaningless TO YOU. You can simply choose it to be meaningful. Create your own families. Contemplate and choose your own morals. They probably will wind up being very close to the common sense morals we were evolved to have, because we are evolved for those morals to make us feel the most content.

If you can hold more and more facts together in a coherent way, that is the direction of truth.

Religion often decides that truth gets in the way of contentment.

But some of us have a high tolerance for ambiguity and can stare nihilism down, and AT THE SAME TIME create meaning. We don’t have to run from death first. Don’t have to invent sky fairies first.

In my thirties I visited the Denver art museum and was very dissapointed. I had a disagreement with my date as to the exibits. They were all about deconstruction. She found them insightful. I found it amazing that people still considered deconstruction so relevant. That’s old hat. Of course as a Buddhist, to me, with years of rigorous training in deconstruction, it was old hat.

Deconstruction is simply a childs (or twenty-ager’s) new trick. The interesting work comes AFTER deconstruction. It’s construction. It’s MAKING beauty and art and love and worlds.

I consider it very lazy though, to not even bother with deconstruction, and to instead simply adopt dogmatic worlds. That is not insightful, and can be very damaging and harmful when contexts change and your dogma can’t keep up.

Update:  For a cluster A personality, religion will also be used in the service of denying their own emotions.  For example a person will look around and point at all the sin in the world, instead of embracing their own lust as a natural part of their humanity.  It must be quite frustrating and challenging to be so at odds with ones varied motivations.

So the pendulum swing from being a player who denies his own intimacy needs to being a religious man aiming for monogamous marriage is only a pendulum swing on the outside.  On the inside it’s still business as usual.

It’s been said that the core of Buddhist teaching is to “unify your mind”.  Another way to put that is to simply make friends with yourself.  Another way to put that is to be the opposite of cluster A.

Update: As for Owen Benjamin’s comment.  I laud standing up for your own opinion, and putting it out there.  That’s manly, and takes balls.  No waffling.  But that comment does show a limited theory of mind about what a man is.  “A dude becomes a man when he stops trying to please women and starts trying to please a woman.”

Some renowned Buddhist teachers claimed that enlightenment was impossible without tantric sex practice and relationship devotion practice, and some proclaimed that their main practice was tantric sex and devotion.*  A main consort is usually named.  In my own life, I do use relationships as a way to amplify and embody and work with what are key Buddhist practices, including compassion, and chi-kung.

So from that perspective I like what Owen is saying.  There is a lot of personal development that happens in the context of being with a woman, and for many if not most of us can ONLY happen in that context.

I think he’s not being generous to non-monogamous guys though.  With some good reason, but it’s still slightly arrogant.  Some non-monogamous guys are also open hearted and doing good work, and are intimate.

I’m not aware of monogamy being any part of Buddhist practice.  Traditionally it’s more the opposite, where Tantric sex is concerned.  More of not an issue, actually.

* I found that info somewhere on one of David Chapmans’s sites.  Probably this one https://vividness.live. I consider him to be one of the essential intellectuals to study for a rounded education, who has made profoundly important contributions to human understanding.

Update: Psychology and psychotherapy is often an inbred self-referential and muddled discipline.  But they do some useful studies, have some useful memes, and overall progress is made.  I expect the field to integrate more with neuro-biology and other sciences.  Lots of chaffe, but also lots of wheat.  Here is an interesting quote about Schizoid personality disorder: “”Only schizoid patients”, suggests Klein, “who have worked through the abandonment depression … ultimately will believe that the capacity for relatedness and the wish for relatedness are woven into the structure of their beings, that they are truly part of who the patients are and what they contain as human beings.”  However SPD has an inherited genetic component also, so this narrative therapy may be incomplete and one sided.  Another way to look at therapy might involve strengthening the underused self-evaluative and emotional richness wiring with positive actions, instead of delving directly into a barrier of pain that prevents self evaluation.  For example chi-kung, meditation, yoga, musical improvisation, devotional relationships, etc.  Dismantling the “false self” doesn’t have to be a sudden deep dive into a dark night of the soul.  It can be a gradual process of maturation.

Replace manosphere normie beta-world-view learned helplessness with charismatic wizardry for strong passion with your best friend.

They say that as you get older you lighten up, and don’t sweat the small stuff, and thereby get happier. Self reported happiness is usually much higher over the age of fifty than below it.

The same process happens with gaining the life experience of having lived with many girls.* You learn what to let go of, what not to sweat. You learn what arguments aren’t worth it. How to be kinder.

You also of course learn what shit not to take, and what shit to walk away from.  Boundaries and expectations go hand in hand with kindness.  Rights and responsibilities.  Common sense normal human business.

This very strongly imprints on and affects your mate. You’ll both wind up being kind to each other, because YOU learned how to do this first. She’ll notice. You won’t both be playing games such as “whose fault was it” and “see, you were wrong!” and “gotcha!”.

Instead you’ll tease exactly up to the fun point, and no further. You’ll compliment just enough, but not too much. You’ll learn a comedians timing for all of it. You’ll be able to have the seemingly impossible combination of being BOTH very passionate towards each other, and best friends. And that feeling of being in love will, instead of fading, seem to deepen and grow constantly. Like a full cup that somehow manages to keep feeling fuller.

This is normal.

Unusual, and rare, but normal. Just like lightning is normal. It happens everywhere, everyday. And you can make it happen anywhere you want, if you know how and put in the effort.

So please realize that self defeating hand waving memes about “all women are like that”, and ideas about rules of how women and men behave are for the normies.

Are you a normie?

No? Then stop the self defeating self talk. Women are what you make them, and that depends on who you make yourself.

And for keyboard jockeys who’ve been burned and then discovered “the red pill” and think you are now women experts, who are ready with your book knowledge about how the new car smell phase doesn’t last, I have two things to say to  you.

  1. How the fuck would YOU know?
  2. It’s been repeatedly studied that about 1 in 10 pair bonded couples remain happily in love indefinitely.  I’ve even heard that the same physical correlates to being in love are equally measurable in such couples.  One in ten is not a random crap-shoot gamble.  There must be real reasons why some people live like this.

* In my last post I said I’d be hard pressed to remember how many girls I have lived with in my life.  Counting in my head I got 8, then on paper I remembered 11 girls that I have lived with full time. Three of those were in the U.S., before I emigrated at age 38. The many other girls who would visit and sleep over most nights were not counted  among the 11 full time live-ins.

If you suspect you will eventually settle down, start having LTRs and MLTRs in preparation.

Long term men’s blog readers will know of the trend for manosphere bloggers to fall off the map, never to be heard from again.

Some writers make a public announcement of a change of direction. It’s usually either that they have settled down in a pair bond, or are planning to.

Some are aware of how they’ve hamstrung their own efforts at pair bonding by building up frames of reference and habits that are at odds with the venture.

These memes are superfluous and outright detrimental even to casual dating and even to pump and dump. Memes such as fake it until you make it, irrational self confidence, confidence is king, and alpha fucks and beta bucks are all detrimental to dating, and severely detrimental to mating.

I’ve been trying for years to talk not only about dominance, but dominance within a framework of emotional sensitivity. They go hand in hand. Lately I’ve also been talking more about improvisation, and right brained whole body authentic in the moment presence.

So I really don’t know how guys who have been careless with their memes are going to transition into having a live in partner.

When you practice picking up girls, you are practicing a certain skill set.

When you live with someone, the skill set is overlapping, but distinct. There is a Venn diagram of skill sets.

So if you plan to eventually mate, I’d suggest that you not only practice dating, but also practice long term relationships, and practice living together.

I’d be hard pressed to count the number of women that I’ve lived with in the past. * And as I’ve also dated multiple women concurrently, in a loving pair bonded way for most of them, I’ve had practice in the pair bonding related skill sets for decades, and a lot of it.

If you want to be good at something, it helps to practice it. There are different types of relationships, and if you are practicing one type, it does not follow that you will be good at a different type.

But my contention is and has always been that it’s stupid and insane to make a false dichotomy and distinction between being the fun guy and being the provider.

Intimacy without commitment happens always – even during long term monogamous living together. It’s always day by day, no strings attached. It’s always fun. It’s always intimate. There is never any box or separation.

You fuck her every day as if you’d just met. And role play as if you are both little sluts. And bond and laugh as if you accept each others inner little whore. And be good to each other like best friends. It’s not a bunch of different rooms, it’s all one house with many rooms in it – all doors open and unlocked.

* Counting in my head I got 8, then on paper I remembered 11 girls that I have lived with full time.  Many more girls who would visit and sleep over most nights were not counted in the 11.

Stages of mating applies only to a small percentage of a small niche of over-educated feminists.

Most of the most common red pill memes are more wrong than right. It’s become the blind leading the blind, with people parroting facile hand waving generalities that barely correspond to what they see with their own eyes.

And that have no clue of what is on the other side of the fence. No clue about a frame of reference that isn’t a beta frame of reference. No clue about that it’s a real option to be treated with passionate loving attention long term by a woman who maintains acquisitive mode, even while supporting a woman or living together.

This is a very DELIBERATE cluelessness. It’s clueless for two simple reasons.

1) Pua’s rationalize their lifestyle by turning it into superhero status. They choose to believe that women actually aren’t sexually interested in boyfriends. They only get really hot for pump and dumpers.
2) Guys who are not being treated as “Chads” are bitter and angry and want to maintain an attitude of sour grapes. They NEED to believe that the grapes are not attainable, and that the grapes don’t exist. Women are just shit, end of story.

Magnum said:

Women over 26 years old or so push for monogamy. Women in their sexual prime (18-24 or so) actually prefer to keep their options open. Even the older ones get bored of monogamy after 2-3 years and either cheat when a worthwhile opportunity comes up, or they lose sexual interest in their monogamous partner (or both).

You can offset this tendency by not living with a woman and keeping the relationship open, and avoiding legal marriage so she knows you can leave when you want.

It’s just how women are biologically wired to endure genetic diversity of their limited number of offspring. It’s not something to be upset about, but rather to accept and plan your actions around accordingly.

Ya, I don’t witness the same stages of mating so many people seem so certain about.

I’ve dated teenagers who were trying very hard (and sometimes succeeding) to get pregnant. My live in girlfriends have usually been early twenties, and all were pushing for marriage and wanted kids.

I also don’t buy this biological 2 to 3 year clock.

I’ve witnessed long term pair bonds. Yes, sometimes people have affairs within the pair bonds, but I’ve witnessed extreme long term and sexually active pair bonding. My grandparents, for instance. Boinked daily, got along great.

And in my own life I’ve been able to maintain strong passion past the 5 year mark.

All these “red pill truth” rules… I really mistrust them. It sounds to me like the blind leading the blind.
Magnum said:

Yes but you’re in Bali and not the US, correct? Context can play a big role

Yes, I’ve been in SEA for about 15 years.

But the US and Europe also has subcultures. Just like any high school has archtypal subcultures.

And women aren’t all like that, in any culture.

And women are different depending on the man. They are like water to a glass.

It’s well known now that there is no pussy paradise; the sexual marketplace is not grossly different anywhere.

Culture (and education) affects stages of mating. Latinos in the US like to get pregnant as teens.

Women are still the same basic primates, everywhere. Culture makes minor adjustments. Stages of mating is not a biological trait. Therefore YOU can be the culture that affects the woman.

I’m sure if we look at real statistics, and at what ages babies and marriages are happening, we won’t find anything corresponding to this stages of mating idea, in any country or culture.

Update: People are marrying later and later, and it’s a dramatic trend.  But still, 29 percent of white women are married by the time they are 25 years old.  And 12% by 22.  Here is an interactive graph showing which groups are married by what age. https://flowingdata.com/2017/11/01/who-is-married-by-now/

And keep in mind education level makes a big difference.  So if we excluded college girls from the data the number would be higher.

This graph breaks it down by education level and shows 24% of people with high school or less are married by age 20.  https://flowingdata.com/2016/03/03/marrying-age/ (You have to add up all the percentages up to and including the final age you want.)  You can clearly see the peak age for marriage for this group is 21 years old.

Stages of mating?  Nope.


But I bet that a percentage of readers will go on talking about stages of mating as if it’s a feature built into women, even after seeing the facts.

I think it has to do with social signalling for some victim based in-group.  “I’m one of the boys!  I’ve been red pilled!”

And isn’t it also just a touch of gamma socialist entitlement? “Those girls are doing it wrong, waiting for their epiphany phase to hook up with a beta like me.  They should marry younger, like they did before!  And be thankful for it!  They’ll be sorry one day!”

The entitlement is off the fucking charts.  If you want a mate, be mate worthy.  I doubt top guys have trouble finding marriage partners.  Are you a top guy yet?  No?  Oh, better find a community of fail to complain and commiserate with.  That’ll make you feel MUCH better.  That’ll help.

Or maybe go after non-college educated girls?  Girls in your own country from a different background to your own?  Or in a different location?  No?  It should be delivered to you on a platter?  Still fresh and virginal?  One per customer?

Out-grouping women as the enemy and in-grouping the victim mentality socialist gamas and betas together helps the meme grow in strength.

Ya, but just look at the graph right in front of your face, and tell me again how you need that meme so bad, that you’ll just ignore your lying eyes.

Girls are girls are girls.  If there is some upper class Asian girl in the U.S. who plans to wait until after she’s finished her grad degree before marriage who comes across an unusually good match, chances are she’ll marry him, if her family is into him, even if the average age for Asians to marry is over 30.  It’s not cooked right into female nature to wait.  Girls pair bond beginning as teenagers, and want babies beginning as teenagers.  That’s biologically baked in.  Stages of mating is not.

And conversely it’s not biologically baked in for high status men to only pump and dump.  Pair bonding is biologically baked in, to men of ALL status.

I’ve read that some ideas are deliberately batshit insane, in order that to profess belief in them you are professing that you are REALLY REALLY a member of the group.  Think Mormons, or Christian Scientists.

Update from comments:

Please keep in mind that a lot of the research has not yet differentiated between high T or alpha males vs lower status males. The ones that do differentiate, are along the lines of “women orgasm more for wealthy men”, and show that women don’t have a dual mating strategy as showing up in hormonal/ovulation patterns when their partner is high status.


Rollo heavily curates what studies he’ll admit into evidence, based on his motivation.

His motivation is to:
1) Prevent beta suicides similar to what happened to his brother in law.
2) Rationalize his passionless marriage.
3) Maintain and grow his position as a social influencer.

He has no motivation regarding sexual marketplace class mobility. He has not seen and does not believe that there exists the possibility to be treated as a King or Alpha or Wizard within the context of marriage or a supportive LTR.

As an example of his rationalizing his passionless marriage and of not believing in class mobility, he does not believe the Dave in Hawaii story of a married man learning to be the dominant leader and turning his marriage completely around. He doesn’t believe that this is possible, and said exactly that in a comment on his own blog.

He’s also said the he does not believe that it’s “pragmatic” to be both an alpha and a provider. He continues with his idea of an extremely strict dissociation between alpha fucks and beta bucks by insisting that high value men only choose to pump and dump. Yes, he said exactly that, in the comment section. Look to comment sections to get the gut feelings of writers.

His entire worldview, which he advocates as the ONLY worldview, is coming from the place of a beta. He thinks that this is reality.

Yes, it is reality. Unless you make a different reality. And from then on that reality is completely irrelevant. Has nothing to do with you. Women behave nothing like what Rollo would teach you to expect.

From an old Saturday Night Live skit on sexual harrassment in the workplace:
Rule number 1. Be attractive.
Rule number 2. Don’t be unatractive.

Rollo isn’t attractive, doesn’t know how to be attractive, and doesn’t teach how to be attractive. He doesn’t care about it.

All he cares about is preventing beta suicides.


Marriages are lasting on average about 10 years, give or take a few years.  And average is not what readers of this blog aspire to be, I assume.

Divorce rates are between 40 and 55% depending on country and region.  I’m not sure how the math was done to get the 10 year average marriage length, considering that MOST people never divorce at all.

Ten years seems fine to me. But some people are still chemically and romantically in love till death do they part. About one in ten, I ‘m told. That’s not a small percentage, if you consider that many of the variables are under your own control.

Card counting is not exactly gambling.  If you are inexperience with women, you are rolling the dice on a marriage lasting forever and not being divorce raped.  If you co-habitate and safe-guard your finances, and have a long history of doing better and better and learn expert level of co-habitating with women, it’s nothing to do with gambling.  It’s called enjoying the best that life has to offer.

I’ve made claims again and again that I know how to keep passionate romantic attachment alive.

It’s a bold claim.