Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

When I see a picture of myself I see an asshole

Posted by xsplat on April 24, 2015

I’ve broken some hearts lately, and I don’t have the will to stop.

They say “don’t hate the player, hate the game”. But I’ve been holding hidden feelings of guilt. I only become aware of them if I see a picture of myself.

Along those lines, there are other patterns of emotions and self-image I’ve been noticing. When I’m hunting I often have a deep feeling of lonely hunger.

But I had a dream last night. One of those beautiful, mystical dreams that are literally spiritual. In the dream I noticed that the fact that our attention is under the sway of our will, that our life is literally a spiritual experience, with so much potential for beauty.

Today when hunting, I was not lonely. I was not hungry. I was happy.

I’ve also lately been researching and experimenting with pharmacological choices.

Tonight I could push myself to hit a club, but I may just stay in for a while longer and make better friends with who is in the mirror, and practice my free will to choose my awareness via the remarkable practices of chi-kung.

I don’t want to think of myself as a callous heartbreaker. I don’t want to view the world as an ugly win-lose game.

A big reason why I can have an emotional effect on girls is because of my emotional affect. I can’t have that if I see myself as a dick.

Posted in Uncategorized | 17 Comments »

Because even a virgin who is passionately in love with me is not enough

Posted by xsplat on April 10, 2015

A pretty face is a drug. And a tight and firm little girl body with ample breasts that are high and firm enough to have sprouted the night before will arouse me into a fervour of religious reverie.

I love being in love. Mutual love is the best possible drug.

I’ve tried heroin, crack, codeine, valium, pot, lsd, shrooms, and more. I’ve had experiences of strong meditative bliss, and screaming chi-kung ecstasies. But nothing comes close to the drug of being in mutual love with a hottie who orgasms regularly and easily.

XSplat, quick question: what is the best exercise or tip for increasing one’s horniness toward a particular female?

I wish I knew. There is a girl that I really like in many ways who doesn’t physically turn me on as much as I’m used to. It’s a shame. Especially as I recently took her virginity and she’s obsessively infatuated with me.

I’ve been in the same situation before, in Thailand. There was a time when I had two girlfriends – one I loved but would go soft inside sometimes only after a few minutes. The other one I didn’t like at all, but we fucked for hours and hours pretty well every day.

I really wish I had a choice in these matters.

It could get very confusing if I didn’t have the comparisons. I’d think my dick wasn’t working.

And the same happens for girls. For some girls they only come with me. But sadly, also for some girls they come for other guys but not me.

Chemistry can be discovered, over time, and it can grow. I’ve seen that many times. But I’ve also seen it not grow.

I wish I had a button inside me to push so that a girl with a great personality but body shape that doesn’t quite do it could turn me on as much as a hotty bitch.

And I wish my personality and skills were always enough to get 100% of all women’s motors fully running.

I appreciate the different kinds of love and passion I can feel for women. The companionate appreciation can be real and deep and meaningful. But it’s very different from the effect of eye candy. I just love a pretty face.

And I know women can be the same way. They can love a man, but not feel that rush.

And yet chemistry isn’t an easy calculation. I’ve known girls to come easily and passionately with me, and not at all with model handsome men.

And the types of girls I’m most into would not do it for a lot of guys. I like them micro mini and way over the top neotenous. Like Japanese Anime girls. Sopping wet with sexuality, but with a look so young it’s on some edge. Blossomed, but freshly pink.

I was out hunting yesterday. I started with the beach, and then cruised a shopping mall. It’s a fascinating endeavor. Scouting around, thoughts will scamper through my mind; “Is that girl hot enough for me to bother to approach? Na. Even if I got her interested I’d quickly lose interest in her. Woah! That one is so hot! I can’t possibly stand a chance. What is my state like? Am I in the best possible zone, or should I do a few practice sets and come back? I don’t want to use a hottie for practice – she needs my best possible a game, just for me to have the slimmest of chances.”

One girl was dressed up in a fuck-me outfit, walking with her plain friend. Boom I opened. “Hi! What’s your name? I had to stop you.”.”Why?” I look her up and down and say as if it’s obvious “because you’re so hot!” Everything I said came out with a side of lame and awkward and greasy, and I was leering at her with a creepy grandpa smirk. I was hurried and urgent in my rapid fire questions. “How long are you staying here? What do you do?” In the end I let her escape by handing her my business card for a purported modelling agency.

But you know what? She actually messaged me an hour later. And then gave me lols when I told her that her name Sasha sounded Russian, and that I would call her Natasha instead.

So I’m an old guy, creeping around the beaches and malls, hunting for girls who are WAY the fuck out of my league, so that I can fuck them and feel that most exquisite of highs. And bond with them and get them to fall in love with me and make my sheets all wet.

I met a girl at a shopping mall some months back. She chose my checkout lane at a department store so I struck up a conversation. I’d had one date with her and her friend, that seemed to go ok, but I could never get her out on a second date, so I gave up and hired her as a talent scout for my purported modelling business, and to do some part time data entry. She only visited a few times for training after that, but when she did I couldn’t help but stare at her face. I literally fell in love each time she’d visit. It would last at least an hour.

So yesterday I finally got her out on a date. I told her that I wanted to get to know her better, and so she agreed to an “interview”.

We started out on the beach, and the interview went well right off the bat. Two glasses of wine later I took her to a restaurant near my villa. During dinner I finally got to the three big questions that I wanted to ask her. 1) Is she a virgin? Yes. 2) Has she ever watched porn? No. 3) Has she ever masturbated? No. When I told her of of how I had to rape-start M21 and how it took her a year to grow into her strong multiple orgasmic sexuality, the little virgin threw her head onto my lap and started laughing. She was laughing all through dinner and then asked about my piano, so of course I took her to my room to play for her.

Then she kept going on about 50 shades of grey and comparing me to Dorian. “I can’t believe I’m in the arms of my boss right now! I’m so nervous! This is so wrong! You are my boss!”

The girl is petite and felt oh so good in my arms. My hand resting on her lower belly. Looking at her face made me nervous, but what a drug that eye candy is. She kept staring and staring at me, with a big nervous smile. We didn’t even kiss but it was electric.

So my dating skills are good, and my conversion rate for girls who I get on a date is high. And then keeping girls interested is a skill practised to an expert level. But day game is an entirely different story.

Walking up to some girl and stopping her, and then getting her interested in me? I’m nearly 50, short, noticeably well below average in facial attractiveness, and balding. And I go for girls in their teens and early twenties, and am only satisfied if I think they truly could be models.

A few days ago I was driving along and I spotted a pink haired hottie walking alone. I pulled right over, stalked her, crossed the street and overtook her, then doubled back to say hi as I walked towards her. She was on her phone but not one fuck was given. “Hi. You’re really cute. I had to say hi to you”. She kept talking on her phone and I kept not giving a fuck. I was there now. I took precedence, obviously. So she hung up her phone and chatted with me for a while and I did get the number. A student from another island, here for a week. A few days later she answers that she’s already flying back, but could be available next week.

And back in Java I got a girl I’d met out for a date – four months after I got her number. I must have invited her out 10 times before she agreed. The date went very well, and she all but offered to be my girlfriend, but I flew out to bali shortly after.

So it’s not impossible. It’s a matter of numbers, and state, and game. I am what I am, but even at my age, I can win sometimes.

I know what I want, and it’s a difficult thing to get. That perfect young hottie who arouses hot devotion. I have not yet built up my business pipelines to feed a constant stream of girls into my life. I’m working on that. In the mean time I’m just going to have to regularly hit the streets and do the hard work.

Because I’m not in mutual love with a hottie lately. I mean, I have sex with my girls all the time – sometimes pretty fucking good sex too. But I’m not in love with anyone. And I want that. I’ve had that. And I’m going to get that again, or die trying.

There is just nothing else like it.

Posted in Uncategorized | 18 Comments »

Overcoming resistance through strong passion, and how providers get hot morning blowjobs

Posted by xsplat on March 28, 2015

superslaviswife said:

I can’t imagine wanting someone who doesn’t want me. From when I became interested in sex, I liked stepping away from every man who approached me and when they stepped back too, it was some sort of confirmation they weren’t really all that interested. If they weren’t all that interested, then what would I get out of a relationship with them? So although I wasn’t happy when they stepped back, I was glad because it meant I made the right decision. If I took one step forward and two steps back, I wanted the man who took two steps forward.

Now, this won’t help the average man looking to get laid. Especially not if most “one step forward, two steps back” girls are like me. It would simply take too long. But if there’s a middle ground where they will withdraw, but not keep stepping back, it could be worth watching because a lesser amount of persistence may be needed to bed or LTR such women.

Ya, I also got huge resistance from the new girl that I’m dating. After our first date she showed interest, but as a virgin claimed to be too nervous to visit me again in my villa, and stood me up for at least 5 dates before I finally met her at a restaurant.

It took a great deal of persistance to eventually get her shirt off. Every inch of her that I touched was like a battle over unconquered territory. Because it was; I don’t think she had ever even had her breasts touched yet. She was constantly swatting my hands away, and I was constantly going back for more.

And then on the seventh date the struggle of even getting a finger inside her painfully tight vagina. Now THAT’S a barrier! Ya, a man really has to be able to overcome resistance to take a woman’s virginity! “OOOOWWWWW STOP THAT HURTS!!!” I got the tip in on the 8th, with much screaming, but it wasn’t until the 9th date, after giving her a tramadol and valium that she was able to take the whole dick and actually fuck. By all accounts she enjoyed herself.

Persistance played a huge role in her seeing me as serious enough to bother with.

And of course as I’m her first, she now thinks of me all the time, to the point of obsession. She sends me sexy texts regularly, which warm my heart as well as make me hard. The effort was quite worth it.

When I hear people say things like “go for a girl who doesn’t put up much resistance, because that’s the only girl who is REALLY into you”, it’s just cringe-worthy advice.

And it does not just relate to virgins.

Persistence is HUGE to last minute resistance as well. I can’t count the number of times my hands have been swatted away. One girl even literally cried out at the top of her lungs “STOP! STOP! STOP!” for the whole rooming house to hear as I pulled her jeans by the ankle dragging her across the floor to pull them off. She also stayed the night, and the next night, and so on for two and half years. She’s still in my life to this day. And although we are no longer sexual, she’s still devoted and doting in her actions.

Nobody is right all the time, but some of the advice that’s out there is really terrible. And some of it is really terrible and goes under the radar.

The alpha-fucks/beta bucks dichotomy has been so overblown to now qualify as terrible advice. It puts men off the realistic challenge of passionate LTRs as a man who controls the finances.

And for men in LTRs, controlling the finances is an edge. A very valuable, and I would say very important edge. The man gets a major advantage by being a provider.

Emotions are naturally evolved to give rewarding feelings when there is personal benefit. As monkeys we felt excitement at finding oranges in the trees, and then a rush of bliss tasting the sweet fruit. Sex is an addictive fruit that both sexes can use as rewards for good behavior. And money and security is also a reward, and also can be used judiciously as a means to train.

And it’s not just about being able to retain or dole out rewards. With women it’s not ONLY a matter of security providing comfort. It has been scientifically studied that women orgasm more for wealthy men. The status that comes with money also pushes the alpha attraction triggers.

Provider game, when done well, is about so much more than wasting three months salary on a ring and more on a wedding and getting the princess-with-the-pussy new trinkets regularly. You can be a stingy mother fucker. When I married I gave my bride a $3.00 silver ring, and she wore it for many years on after we divorced. Sometimes my current girls actually earn me a profit. It’s not about paying for attention, it’s about controlling resources. If she can’t get that needed resource elsewhere, then you have hand. And if you have ample hand, you also have status.

When a man brings strong passionate lust to the table, on every engagement, plus enriches a womans life in all other possible ways, including financially, she will quickly learn that he is her main reward center. And in the morning her lips will be sucking that reward center.

Proper LTR game is neither alpha fucks nor beta bucks. You use every possible means to get the girl to see you as her whole world. You train her up and mold her into the woman you need her to be.

It takes time.

But we are all animals, and operant conditioning works. You can’t make a silk purse out of a pigs ear, but you can make a suede purse out of it. Near any woman can be trained up to be useful. Passionately, devotedly, addictively useful.

Posted in Uncategorized | 23 Comments »

But X, not ALL men can do what you do! Can’t we all just let them MGTOW?

Posted by xsplat on March 27, 2015

Xsplat if you were competing in societies that emphasized and bred polygamous men, you would probably lose as an older man even with your touted romantic edge. The region you ran away to espouses monogamy relatively more than the West. If the East ever adopted the same ideals, you would have less places to go to and live this specific lifestyle.

Very relevant: http://human-stupidity.com/science/evolution-psychology-darwin/to-justify-our-moral-judgments-we-invent-victims-even-if-there-are-none

It is to most everyones personal benefit to limit the sexuality of the competition.

We justify limiting other peoples sexuality with “reasons” after the fact. Many humans are biologically hard wired to not only try to limit other peoples sexual access, but to never be able to either know or question why they do so.

When women slut shame, they do so to preserve their collective bargaining power for lifetime provisioning. When men try to limit the options of others, it is to increase personal sexual access. It is a hard coded strategy, and is implemented whether it is practically effective or not. We FEEL morally righteous, and even FEEL intellectually correct.

None of that is going to stop ME from having sex with beautiful teenagers.

People can talk about “society” all day and all night long. People can explain that “not ALL people can have a harem of two teenagers and two early twenty somethings”.

Ya. Not all people can.

That’s the game. Getting on top and winning.

Or the game is being sexually socialist, and preventing other guys from hoarding all the hot poon.

They are both just games.

I’m playing mine. And I’m explaining exactly how I do it, to the best of my ability.

Yes, not ALL guys can do it.

So what?

What I say is still true. What I say is still accurate. What I say is still applicable.

I’ve put in a lifetime of effort to be able to do what I do. The fact that not all men want to put in the effort has no bearing in any way on the efficacy of my techniques, nor on their value to improve the quality of life for a man.

Would people go to a master concert pianist tutorial blog and explain to him that “Hey, you know, not all people want to put in that much effort to be able to play the piano that well. A lot of people are content to play video games instead”.

Ya. So what? Let them go ahead and play video games. That doesn’t make the piano tutorial any less valid.

People do have different aptitudes. I have average musical ability at best. But with consistent application of playful effort over time, I can’t help but improve. After focusing on pure improv for two or three years, I’ve found that I can actually read music and play songs now! It’s rather incredible.

It’s not all only about effort, nor is it all only about technique, nor all about innate talent.

But it is about effort, it is about technique, and it is about talent.

No matter where a person is in relation to the piano, he can improve.

The same goes for women and relationships.

This blog can help people with what I know about.

I believe that no man is an innately helpless beta.

No matter where a man is in relation to women, he can learn and improve, through application of consistent effort.

And using memes about red pill truths to bolster a feeling of learned helplessness is a type of sin. It is self victimization. The opposite of self empowerment.

MGTOW guys self empower themselves to be perpetual victims of low sexual market value.

If there were someone I cared about, a son for instance, who struggled with girls and therefore decided to MGTOW, I would not just pat him on his back and say “That’s OK Son. I Understand.” Instead I would write this blog for him, so that he could read it and apply what I’ve learned to help his own life.

If there were a bunch of anonymous people I’ve never met, who struggled with girls and therefore decided to MGTOW, I would not just enable their self defeatist attitude with platitudes and wish them well on their journeys of conquering video games. Instead I would expose the harmful indifference, sloth, twisted partial truths and self-justifying lies of individuals and groups.

Update: The reason I linked to the article about people inventing victims where there are none is because that article discusses WHY we find the need to create REASONS for telling other people to not have sex, even when those reasons have nothing at all to do with our actual motivation to meddle in their sexual affairs.

(At least some) men and women are innately genetically programmed to cock block each other. And the process in which we do it is innately unconscious. We do not and often CAN not know what our motivations for cock-blocking are.

We believe our own rationals.

I believe that when MGTOW men proseletize, they are often motivated by cock-blocking other men, therefore reducing the sexual competition. “Since I’m not getting enough quality pussy, YOU should boycott quality pussy too!”

And while in theory MGTOW is all about men actually going their own way and making their own informed decisions, in practice, the MGTOW I have heard from are all about shaming other mens choices and sexuality on the one hand, and then using that same hand to whine about other men shaming them for not being sexually active. I’ve written several blog posts about them as a whole, and have linked to one active website where some of the most ill informed and whiny feminine-brained anti-male testosterone-free comments I have ever seen were made. I was shocked by the low level of commentary. As a principle MGTOW could have something to say, but in action by the “men” that I have seen advocating that principle, so far, it has been a whinge fest and a let’s all get together and shame everyone with a set of balls for owning them club.

And then within the larger manosphere, you have people of all persuasions looking for excuses. Any excuses. Looking for comraderie. Any comraderie. Looking for people to gather together into a he-man-woman-haters-pity-party-club-of-relationship-fail.

It might take the form of MGTOWs blaming modern western women for their personal and collective relationship ills. It might take the form of Return of Kings where people rag on feminism day in and day out. Or it might take the form of group think on the Rooshvforum, where pump and dump is put forth as the only politically correct version of relationships with females.

And when that happens the Red Pill is not used in the service enabling individual men to live like kings, but instead is used to create a rat king.

Rat King

Everywhere guys take a grain of truth about the human condition, and use it as an excuse to either treat women like shit or to ignore them altogether.

And when a guy comes along and says, “Actually, if you aren’t having successful romantic relationships with women, it’s your own fault”, guess how welcome that message is!

I usually hear back various forms of, “No, it is not possible to have successful romantic relationships with women.” After that it’s explained to me that I also have never had a single successful romantic relationship with any woman. And that even the religious college educated virgins I’ve deflowered and lived with were in fact prostitutes.

From now on when someone claims superior social meta-knowledge to wink and call your loved one a whore, we can just call that “Red-pill emasculation”. It’s pure ego protection. “You can’t POSSIBLY be doing something that I find difficult-to-impossible! There HAS to be a catch, otherwise what would that say about me? You are so stupid to not realize that you are not actually living the life that you are actually living! If only you knew how impossible it was for ME to live that life, then you’d realize that YOU are not actually living it at all!”

So instead of red pill ideas being a spur to personal discovery, self improvement and greater social success, they get co-opted into shields to defend oneself against exactly that.

Posted in MGTOW, Morality | 11 Comments »

Does the manosphere teach learned helplessness?

Posted by xsplat on March 27, 2015

Truth can be twisted. When you spin a fact you get something worse than a lie; you get a partial truth used in the service of a wrong view.

And so it goes for the alpha fucks beta bucks meme. You take the truth that women who are not dating a successful high testosterone man seek out higher T men when they are ovulating, and then turn it into the notion that women have a black and white either or mating strategy and in the vast majority of situations compartmentalize their dualistic sexual strategies, to such a degree that any man who provides is automatically not a man who the woman desires.

Alpha men are said to get the real lust, while the overwhelmingly vast majority of any man who provides does not arouse lust. People have taken this idea further and further, creating a cartoonish charicature out of the complexities of sexual strategies. EITHER you are an R selected lover who goes in for brief flings who she takes anal from, OR you are a K selected provider for whom she gives the cuddles and doles out occasional tepid sex.

Anyone who has read much of my blog already knows my opinions on the matter. Money and power and status in a man can increase sexual lust in a woman. Some of the provider qualities can push alpha attraction triggers in the woman. And a women’s best sex is reserved for men who also arouse her emotionally in romantic ways. That’s just a tautology – great sex is even greater with love. Anyone with experience of both will enthusiastically agree.

But people think in black and white. Just because there is truth in the fact that women can lose attraction to their beta providers and then go on to treat them like shit, it does not follow that the fact of providing automatically means that the man could not also push all other attraction triggers.

What we get all over the manosphere is disaffected men who have not learned how to maintain attraction assuming that it’s the fault of women – that it’s their hypergamy and dual sexual strategies that are to blame. They talk about themselves and each other as if providers are all just betas, and really the women wanted alphas, and all relationships that include provision are built on “negotiated desire”. I see this especially in the comments section of Rollos blog, and to a degree in Rollos own writing, especially in the comments.

Rollo also has said that if the woman is not initially attracted to you, then you should not waste your time persuing her, instead you should take the time to find a new girl, who is actually into you.

My experience is that persistence in the face of rejection can actually CREATE desire.

From https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201308/what-do-women-really-want

Female desire, according to Meana, is activated when a woman feels overwhelmingly desired, not rationally considered. Female erotic literature, including all those shades of gray, is built on this fantasy. Sexual desire in this view does not work according to our expectations and social values. Desire seeks the path of desire, not the path of righteousness. It thrives not on social order but on its negation. This is one reason all religions and societies try to control, contain, limit and re-direct it.

My experience is also that lust can be created, over the long term. It is not just that taller men with symmetrical facial features and big muscles are the Alphas that most women really want, and that the rest are just betas who have to negotiate desire and are all fooling themselves and who protest too much whenever they point out the inane and wrong headed and self defeating and emasculating views of alpha-fux-beta-bux proponents.

Genuine lust can be cultivated in a woman.

From my last post:

S17 is a good example of how passion – true physical lusty passion – can be cultivated in a woman. How value is not always shown all at once, through height and looks. A girl can over time not only open up in love, but open up in lust, as she sees you as more and more valuable. Value can come in many forms, and what to a girl is a “high value man” that deserves every outward show of affection and care and attentive lust is a complicated calculation that continues to calculate over time, and over time that calculation feeds raw data to raw emotions.

In order to get the most out a woman, the man has to push all possible attraction triggers, and show value in all possible ways. Having financial hand is extremely valuable.

It is not either/or.

It is either/or/and.

And is a word that many people are simply constitutionally unable to grasp.

You can do BOTH at the same time, and you don’t have to be a flying purple unicorn to do it. You can love a woman, and put her in an apartment and pay her bills, and be dominant, and fuck the hell out of her, and get her best sex, and have her insanely in love with you to the point of constant obsession, and you can do that with more than one girl at a time.

The manosphere is allowing splinter groups to spin truth in order to provide comfort to guys who never learned how to maintain passion in long term relationships.

The new soma? “It’s not my fault for not being able create and maintain maximum passion. It’s her fault for being hypergamous.”

Posted in Uncategorized | 34 Comments »

My unreasonably high beauty standards

Posted by xsplat on March 25, 2015

I was 30 and she was 41. Over the course of a few months we’d fallen deeply in mutual love. Over the next two years I would be continuously tortured by my own disappointment with her age.

She was a one in a million match for me, personality wise. A yoga teacher, meditator, and chi-kung practitioner, with a loving touchy feely body and a keen bright and funny wit. The sex was great. We had bonded intensely. Still, when we went out skiing, I could not help but be fascinated by the young girls, and disappointed at her age. Being confronted with the contrast was painful.

And for her part she could never get over how poor I was. She was used to the man being the provider of financial security, and her disappointment in me was also endless and a source of great turmoil.

We both wished it were not so. I wanted to accept her age. She wanted to accept my financial situation.

One day she recounted to me advice she had heard from her Guru for how to look inward to find solutions. “If you ever have a really difficult problem, clearly formulate a concise question about it just before you fall asleep. If you get the same answer in three different dreams, then you can accept that answer as wisdom coming from your core.”

Every night I would ask myself what to do about these feelings that she was too old for me. Every night I would have the same dreams. I dreamt of dating teenagers and girls in their early twenties. A few at a time. Often the girls would find out about each other.

Fast forward a few years and I was doing just that. And because of that I had become quite happy.

Through that experience I discovered that I simply can not choose my emotions and my preferences. For better or worse, they are what they are.

Lately I’ve been dating an attractive just-turned-twenty-three full Chinese woman who I click with very well. She’s bright and cheerful and fun, and is personable and attentive and generous and doting. Very good relationship with all of her family. She’s diligent and earned two university scholarships, and scored 130 on some IQ test. I expect to fall in love with her and bond. I’m already quite fond of her, and love did well up in me as I fucked her for the first time in her life just a few days ago.

But physically she is not quite the body type that I usually seek. I like her body. It’s firm and curvy and smells right. She’s just a bit more athletic and less micro-mini petite. The waist hip ratio is not as extreme.

I spent an entire day yesterday walking around examining women’s hips. N19 has great hips and a nice tight ass. But a horrible personality. I often really don’t like her, and can become uncomfortable and irritated and even unhappy around her if we are not fucking. But her hips really work for me.

We’ve all daydreamed about building the perfect women out of parts of our various girlfriends, to create a Franken-girl.

And many manosphere readers are familiar with the idea that girls are prone to seeking out alpha-males way out of their league, and often confuse being desired sexually for a fling with a very high value man with the potential for tying one down for commitment.

I’ve had some amazing girls in my life. As recently as a few months ago I had a brief fling with a true stunner who was great in bed and had a great personality. I can’t get over the fact that she was, even if briefly, attainable to me. Why should I not keep trying for that? Or am I forever seeking out what is unrealistic based on my experiences within fleeting flings?

I’ve had long term super charged lust based relationships with young hotties, but I’ve had to compromise on brains and personality. I really enjoy the level of passion that only comes from adoring very specific body types. I can appreciate the body shape and feel and smell so much that it becomes a type of devotion. Sexual and lusty and loving devotion. An art form of hedonism and reverence.

And so I have trepidations about what I fully expect to happen next. I will fall for my new V. She already has been obsessively thinking about me for many weeks now. And I liked her a great deal since our first meeting.

But I know I will keep looking for someone just like her but with hips more to my liking. I’m not sure if that can go well.

Still though, when we were fucking a few days ago, I was overwhelmed with a novel emotion; that she was a woman suitable for my seed. She would make a great baby, and a great mother. That notion mixed with the erotic feelings in my belly, and heightened it so much that the feelings welled up all the way to my heart, and I could not help but burst out “Daddy loves you! Daddy love you!” as we both rode on a crescendo of passion.

****

Meanwhile I’ve been seeing S17 every night. Her personality needs a lot of work, but she has been improving. A few nights ago she tried to throw a cold-shoulder mood at me because she assumed that my chatting with potential interns was me chatting with girls. I ignored her ignoring for a few hours and fell asleep, but when I awoke in the middle of the night and she was still on the other side of the bed, I kicked her out. Drove her home in the middle of the night. She has no business visiting me if she’s going to just use our time together to give me some emotionally abusive mood. I’ve done such maneuvers many times with her, for any bad behavior. As of today we were kissing passionately each of the 8 times we have had sex so far. She has been kissing me warmly many times today, and is all over me as we rest. We are both warming up nicely to each other, and it’s a dramatic change over her much cooler heart of several months ago.

S17 is a good example of how passion – true physical lusty passion – can be cultivated in a woman. How value is not always shown all at once, through height and looks. A girl can over time not only open up in love, but open up in lust, as she sees you as more and more valuable. Value can come in many forms, and what to a girl is a “high value man” that deserves every outward show of affection and care and attentive lust is a complicated calculation that continues to calculate over time, and over time that calculation feeds raw data to raw emotions.

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Change, uncertainty, ritual, meaning, business, friendship and lovers.

Posted by xsplat on March 5, 2015

Dan left yesterday.

It’s only the second time in my life I’ve felt heartbreak regarding a male companion.

A few months ago there were 7 of us here. Aaron arrived in August, Dan in December, J and T in January, and a few of Aarons buddies were scoping out our scene for two weeks in January. We had some amazing adventures together, and every day held a new flavor of celebration. Life at it’s best, and we were all keenly aware of it, and said so to each other nearly every day.

Aaron was pulling hot girls as often as he wanted – which was often. One of his two UK buddies was at least as skilled, and would bring girls over here from the local club and fuck them in our outdoor living room regularly. We had a group guided trek up a local volcano in the middle of the night, all of us tripping on mushrooms which was literally a peak experience. The guys would regularly go clubbing together while I stayed home with one of my regulars, and Dan, J and T all did well with the local girls.

Our conversations were so engaging that we often regretted not having recorded them to publish as podcasts.

Then J suddenly announced he would be leaving. He’d decided to go get a steady job to pay down some heavy debts. He was airborn the next day. Only a few days later I decided that I did not work well with T, and told him so. T is a smart guy and was well liked, but there was conflict on a task, and I didn’t want to risk a future pattern of disagreement. In this co-operative venture there is a chain of command, and I took the most drastic means to maintain it. He was scheduled for a trip to Singapore in a few days to renew his visa, and I accepted his offer to not return.

We were down to three, but it was a good core group. Me, Aaron, and Dan. We get along great, and it’s always a pleasure to see any of them arrive at the villa, and to arrive back to the villa when any is there. Greetings are genuinely warm; celebratory even.

Business progress had been slow, largely in part to the loose working schedule. We’d put more importance on bonding as a group and on lifestyle then on regular deliberate and scheduled business efforts. We worked when we wanted to, usually on our own, and didn’t put in anything close to regular office hours. As a group starting several new businesses we acted as if we were inspired by Tim Ferriss’s Four Hour Work Week. And in Bali we were living the dream. On my dime. After taking on the expense of building a new compound, hiring new local staff as well as housing and feeding and paying monthly expenses for all the new interns, not seeing much business progress let alone a rise in income was stressful. Sure, I like the guys company, and yes, I have long term confidence in the projects, but are we going about this the right way? Am I paying for not much more than companionship?

And then yesterday Dan started an uneasy topic while we were playing ping pong. He mentioned that he’d been feeling home sick.

I nearly asked him right away if he was leaving, but played it off as a passing emotion, and helped him talk in and around his emotions, hoping to talk him completely out of them. But no. His mind was made up. In fact he’d made plans with his brothers to hike the Rocky Mountain range. They may be in the wilderness for as long as 7 months.

Dan explained that he was not prone to feeling homesick. Unlike myself, as a kid in camp he never felt that emotion. I was surprised to hear he missed home at all, as he had seemed so enthused about being here that every day he seemed outright jubilant. It seemed to me as if he’d found his place in a brave new exciting world. He has a rare quick wit combined with a sensitive spirit and an outrageously gregarious extroverted personality. A guy who made playing ping pong seem like a world championship between titans, even when cheering from the sidelines as a spectator. And the night before leaving he’d bedded a local hottie. But he complained of her being intellectually boring, and I suspect a big reason for him feeling homesick might have to do with parallel feelings. He must be wanting that deep connection that we get from family. That’s a connection that I like to make with my girls – I make family out of them. He’s not a skirt chaser and wants more than one night stands. Perhaps he couldn’t see the girls he’d met here as worthy of familial bonds.

Dan found a flight the same day he broke the news, and left that evening.

I’ve had lots of guys tell me that they want to come out here, but in the end they get cold feet. One guy flat out told me that coming out was as intimidating as the first day of kindergarten, and so he couldn’t do it. Dan was a rare guy in that he was willing to make the big leap and come out here at all, but even then the change was too stressful to maintain, and he wanted to go back to his roots.

Yesterday I had the plan to author a post about a job offer out here. Instead of seeking an internship that can lead to a partnership, the plan would be to offer a paid position for a specific task. But when I write I always wait for certainty. I wait until I know all the ideas are ready to come out, and they come out at once in a flood, as fast as my nimble fingers can type. But my process is also honest. Autobiographical even. I can’t write about anything that I don’t feel, so I’m not about to write a pumped up inspirational post about all the incredible benefits of joining in the team and following the dream if I’m not personally feeling pumped up and inspired.

I love life out here, and don’t want to be anywhere else. I love the projects I’m working on, and don’t want to be working on any others. I believe in what I’m doing, and I know that with the right team we can all exceed even our very large expectations. We are at the beginnings of greatness, and having a hell of a time even being at that beginning.

But the story is not only about hope and inspiration.

It’s also about doubt.

And so that is what this blog post has to be about.

This isn’t a blog post about inspiring people to follow my vision, and to join my team, and together to realize financial greatness, male comraderie and explore sexual and romantic adventures with tourists and local Indonesians. This is a blog post about about what stops people from being able to do that.

Most people are not built for adventure and change. There is evidence that some of us have “the wanderers gene”, which affects dopamine receptors and makes us prone to seek out novelty. But even so we all find comfort in familiarity. We create order and structure out of our chaotic lives, and find such comfort in the stability that it’s the human condition to prefer the comfort of the known, even when the known is not comfortable.

But we can’t avoid change anyway.

I want stability also, but no matter how much I seek it, stability is naturally temporary. I have to assume this is the human condition.

I’m very relationship oriented, and always have been. Nearly every post on this blog is about relationships with girls. Naturally I’ll use relationships as metaphors for broader life issues. So when I think of stability and feeling at home, I think of the family that I create, wherever I am, with my girls.

When I click with a girl, whenever we are together, no matter where we are, we are home. We are each others family, and we belong together. There is no one else we want to be with, and therefore no where else we want to be. Our primary conditions for happiness are met. Sometimes I feel that way near all the time with a girl, sometimes the bulk of the time. Regardless, that feeling of being home with my family doesn’t last forever. People change, relationships change. I want something new and find it, or the girl cheats, or more usually I step out first then the girl gives herself permission to do the same.

A month ago I had M and N19 and the newer Sally18 were out here in Bali, but my passion for M has cooled and she’s back in Java now. Also I have less mood for N, again, and see her little lately. There is a new virgin girl I’m dating, and there is much about her that I like, but it’s questionable whether I’ll find a strong physical passion for her. I recall once being in love with a teenager in Thailand whom I didn’t prefer to fuck. She was a virgin when I met her, and grew a big crush on me. It was odd because she was the girl my heart welled up with love for, however it was a second girl who got my dick hard. Something similar seems to be happening now; eighteen year old Sally is the airhead fluff that I love to scream with, while 22 year old smart and personable V gets the motor sputtering but not really going full out. I’m curious enough to see if that will change. We have plans to give her some tramadol to make breaking her in less painful – tomorrow might be the day. Hope she’s finished her period by then, as she’s leaving to visit her mom for a few weeks the next day.

But today she only again ignited strong romantic feelings and energetic body felt connections, while the dick was often placid. So the feeling of being right on track doing exactly what I want to be doing with a clear vision of how to get where I want to go has shifted towards uncertainty.

S18 is from a town called Bogor. She says that the girls there still marry at about age 17. As virgins. I’m interested in going girl hunting there. I like the idea of virgins, lately. I figure that I’m picky about physical characteristics, but once I find a girl who turns me on, she can turn me on for years, so if I can find a smarter virgin girl who is my type of hottie, my interests and passion would be better placed, and perhaps I’d also start in on a new adventure that includes babies.

I’ve been unsatisfied with many of my local staff lately, including my personal assistant. So it’s been on my mind to fire and try to replace them. Finding good help out here is extremely difficult.

So even my sense of home is now disturbed. I keep my rituals – I go the gym, and I maintain a careful diet. I still have girls who love me; N, and M and S and V all seem to, troublesome as they all can be. But everywhere there is flux.

My health itself is often tenuous. I could go out any month, or I suppose any day.

I’m navigating in a sea of uncertainty.

Whereas before I felt I was holding a GPS in calm waters on a sturdy ocean liner, now I feel I’m on 50 foot sloop with a chart and a sextant on a moon-lit overcast night. I know roughly where I am, and I still know where I want to go. But it will require patience, skill, and craft to navigate.

I’ve had different ideas of what greatness means, throughout my life. In my late teens and early twenties greatness was about being enlightened. Several times in my life greatness was largely about love. Lately greatness is about dramatic financial success, male comraderie, an ongoing chi-kung practice, good health, and young and pregnant hotties who love me.

I suppose we all have somewhat different and changing views of our own idealized personal greatness.

But I also suppose that common to all of us, is that in realizing our goals, we must navigate through uncertainty.

That means not only stepping out of our comfort zones into the unknown, it means not only exploring places that we’ve never been, it means not only developing parts of ourselves we are as yet to be aware are undeveloped. It means not only cultivating bravery. It means not only burning our bridges so that we are forced by necessity to mother the invention of our own future. Not only carefully assessing risk vs reward, and expecting to often wind up accepting the losses that come with risks.

It means making a conscious choice of habit to do all of these willfully and frequently, as a lifestyle. Not as an accident. Not just when the chips are down. As a lifestyle.

The known is soma. Comfort and greatness do not mix. I’d go so far as to say that comfort and a great life can not mix.

A great life is a life peppered with uncertainty, heartbreak, pain, and doubt.

That is deliberately factored right in. It’s not wrong turns or accidents that lead to these things. A strategic life must include them.

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Pimpology for the common man

Posted by xsplat on January 22, 2015

I hear all the time that men in the West can not aspire to healthy, loving, passionate relationships with Western women, because Western women have too much hand and are all fucked in the head.

I hear all the time that guys out west couldn’t perform my manoeuvres or they would get arrested under a false rape or domestic violence charge.

And yet, there are plenty of pimps and hoes in the West.

Yes, there are cultural differences, but the main reason that guys in the West do not even aspire to passionate mutually fulfilling romance is not because of the girls.

It’s because the guys have not built up the required muscles nor learned the rules of the sport of relationship, let alone practiced it. Dealing with girls requires mental muscle memory and fortitude, and as with any training, within the rules you find your art, dexterity, and improv. Men have not built up the muscles and skills because there are no personal trainers or gyms for effective long term game, and precious few modern examples are visible and vocal. Without proper guidance men get ruined in relationships. Do anything the wrong way and you’ll get bad results.

Don’t blame women. Don’t blame the courts. Don’t blame the culture. Pimps ignore all of that. Dealing with women requires hard won skills, and endless personal and inter-personal development.

What kinds of girls become hoes and belong to pimps? All kinds. From what socio-economic background? From all backgrounds. A woman isn’t born a hoe. She has to be converted. Does a pimp worry about being interrogated for regret rapes while he is giving the girl the bait and switch? There is a term called pimp-hand. Are pimps worried about domestic abuse laws?

While cultural differences are too obvious to be denied, what is usually denied is the fundamental red-pill realities of cross-cultural female hard wiring. WOMEN respond in a certain way, to certain stimulus, cross culturally. Hoes are converted in the same way globally. They become hugely attached – to the point of wilful slavery, to their pimps. One famous pimp author claims that while some pimps do use occasional violence, the deliberate subjugation of the will of the woman is entirely “a mind game”.

There are many things a man can offer a woman, but one offering most men (even red pill aware men) will deny is this: the skillful application of dominance. Hand.

People think that in SEA girls are more submissive. They are, but they aren’t. SEA is hugely matriarchal. In this society grown men are near universally weak momma’s boys who will ask their mother for permission for who to marry. Westerners who come out here generally date uglier, older, darker broads and wind up pushing the baby stroller. Women are, by nature, every where on this planet built to fight tooth and nail, constantly, for hand and dominance. And they usually, here and every else on this planet, succeed.

But, here, just as everywhere, a woman will respond a certain way to a man who she admires who gives her a combination of hard and romantic fucking who she can not dominate. A woman will always try to dominate. It is not just in the West. And a woman will always react a certain way when she does not dominate. It is not only in the East.

Here are a few examples. A few months ago a teenager approached me through my staff and arranged for a date. We fucked soon after meeting, and started off “the process”. The process includes opening up her sexuality and discovering our unique chemistry. You can’t have strong sexuality without bonding, and so naturally attachments also happen. Nobody has ever fucked her like I fuck her, and she’s used to much less wood, so the sex is cranked up to what for her is 11. She’s a tiny little girl, so it hurts her sometimes, even with lube, but she’s adjusting.

As a female, she considers her sexuality her hand. I’m supposed to only be able to get it from her, and she’s supposed to be able to dole out the scooby snacks as she sees fit, to train me up to be a good doggie.

But as a man my job is to do exactly the same. I want her to only get dick and paternalistic affection and money and security and a warm glow and all things good from me. And I want to be able to use real carrots and real sticks. As well as metaphorical carrots and sticks.

On one of the first dates, she came over to my house and was acting all standoffish. She lay on the bed watching porn on her phone, with the volume cranked up to give-me-attention. Naturally I went over to her and started groping. She shunned my advances by repeatedly swatting away my repeated gropings.

The deliberate tease was annoying – she was saying “See how much power I have over your emotions? I have all the goods and you can’t have any! Nya nya! I get to reject you!”

Whatever. Expressionless, I moved away and started practicing the contemplative art of eyes open chi-kung. She wouldn’t stand to be ignored and tried to continue with her game. So she comes over and starts pinching my nipples, grinding on me, and reaching into my pants. I again reach behind for a quick one handed bra unfastening. Again she rebuffs me.

The tease is starting to get on my nerves, so I head off to the can. As I’m walking out the bedroom door she calls out “no sex tonight!”

Still keeping the lid on my temper, I calmly tell her to go home. The date is over for the night.

She refuses.

I carry her out the door.

She fights me and clings to me and won’t be thrown out. It’s impossible to close a door on a girl who is fighting her way back into the room, and so I threw her across the piano conservatory through the arch into the next hallway. The aim was good so she didn’t flail into the door jamb. I close the door before she can make it back in the room.

She stands out there begging and crying and sending me text messages for 30 minutes, saying she is sorry, that it was only a joke, and can she please come back in. I reply a few times no, and to go back home, and then call up the maid and the handy-man to remove her from the premises.

The next day she lambastes me with sms invective; I’m such a bad, mean man, to treat a poor little innocent girl that way! I fucking rip into her hard. I call her out for having a heart as cold as a reptile, for being un-affectionate, for not giving head. She tries again and again to paint me as a bad man, and instead of apologizing I rip into her more; she should not fight a man and expect to win. She should have gone home when I asked her.

She tells me that she never wants to see me again, but I know better. I knew what would happen next. I knew she would not only be back, but be back a better woman.

Women don’t come off the shelf ready, any more than puppies do. You have to train them. Women aren’t puppies though; they come pre-conditioned. They are more like wild prairie horses. But even a wild mare can be broken and trained.

My super small Sally is now an affectionate little bundle of girl. She gives me massages and cuts my toenails, unprompted.

But today was another opportunity for discipline. I’ve given her an apartment here in Bali, and went over unannounced to pick her up this afternoon. She saw that as an opportunity for some passive aggression in order to put me in my place, and dawdled. “Hurry up, let’s go!” “Where are we going?” “Out. Come on.” Dawdle dawdle dawdle. Dawdle finding her shoes, dawdle lacing up the left shoe, dawdle lacing up the right one. Finally she is all put together and ready, and I keep telling her to go out the door. She keeps telling me to go out the door first, and is cranky that I walked into her room in my dirty sandles. Over and over I tell her to go out the door, and then she wanders over to stand in front of the mirror, to play with her look.

I tell her that I’m going. Now. I walk at a casual pace to my bike. Put on my helmet. Start it up. Rev it. Honk the horn a few times. Slowly drive out. She stands in the door dawdling. So I leave.

I answer her many texts with only “You were too slow. I’ve gone out.”

There are many reasons that I have three girls all pursuing me and fucking me every day. They all have options. But there are reasons that year after year I’m still seen as the best option.

I’m a high value man for many reasons. Finances. Power as the boss over my group of Western and local staff. Chi-kung sex. Paternal affection. Wise life guidance. Strong genuine loving romance. There are all those marks of a high value man, and more.

But leaving her at her apartment today was one of the most valuable things she can get from a man, and one of the most rare.

Discipline.

In the next post I’ll talk about how providing the whole gestalt of high value manliness, including provisioning, social access, great sex, fun, loving romance, and discipline, work together to increase real sexual attraction. There is a lot of confusion about “alpha fucks/beta bucks” and “negotiated desire” that needs to be cleared up. Real sexual desire is measurable, and studies have been done about what arouses it. Some aspects of sexual attraction have cues that are behavior based (dominance and social skills), some have cues that are based on the behavior of others towards you (social proof and status), and some are purely looks based (height, muscles, and facial symmetry). The dominance aspect is gigantically undervalued, as it relates to successful long term relationships. In order to maximize ones potential for successful and mutually satisfying LTRs, a man MUST learn the fine arts of dominance.

Another teaser for the next post; I’ll be talking about alternating between taking away a womans free will and giving it all back to her.

Update: I visited her several hours later, and neither of us mentioned a word of what happened. We drove through heavy rain to a mall, had some ice cream then I sent her off to buy me some clothes. After that several passionate sex sessions, and she not only was more into kissing than ever before, but put in some new sexual efforts. That’s all the obvious and expected outcome.

Note that there was never any nagging or complaining. I prefer not to use a lot of words; I’m not pleading my case. Real actions and real consequences. Most of what needs to be expressed is done through body language and vocal tone. I have expectations from her, and my entire demeanour KNOWS that she will fulfill my expectations. Of course I would settle for nothing less! What kind of man would? And of course, that has an effect.

Even simple expectations, such as that she should wear a sexy dress whenever we go out, and wrap her arm around my elbow set the frame and reverberate. One expectation leads into the next, until she expects of herself to cook for me.

Regular readers will remember these old tried and true tricks, and may wonder if the game becomes rote and so loses it’s magic. Not to me it doesn’t. I allow myself to be affected by her becoming affected. I really love love and bonding, and the fact that love is temporary and illusory takes away none of it’s pleasure. Love is one aspect of the mutual pleasure of sex, and vice versa. And a girl doesn’t have to be a special snowflake to inspire delicious emotions from me. Feminine and hot goes a long way.

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Self hypnotic lies are valuable, but truth is best if you can handle it.

Posted by xsplat on January 12, 2015

This post was written by redpillbanana and can be seen at the red pill reddit

“A harmful truth is better than a useful lie.” -Thomas Mann


The Useful Lie

Some of the advice given on TRP can be classified as a ‘useful lie’. It’s useful in that if you believe it, generally good results will happen. It’s a lie in that it is not always or necessarily true.

Examples of useful lies on TRP:

  • Height/race/looks/riches don’t matter, it’s all about your physical build/mental dominance
  • It’s your fault – “We can all be great if we just believe that we can be, and everyone will believe that we are great when we’re following through with our responsibilities to be great Men”

Tony Robbins (who I’m not the biggest fan of, but he often makes good points) said, “Achievers tend to believe that no matter what happens, whether it´s good or bad, they created it. If they didn’t cause it by their physical actions, maybe they did by the level and tenor of their thoughts. Now, I don´t know if this is true. Scientist have found no evidence supporting the idea that thoughts can create reality. But it´s a useful lie. This belief gives you control. That´s why I choose to believe in it.”

More general examples of useful lies:

  • There’s nothing you can’t do or achieve (counterpoint: if you’re 150cm tall, you’re not likely to make it in the NBA)
  • Nothing can stop you or hold you back (counterpoint: all it takes is one bullet)
  • Hard work and commitment always lead to success (counterpoint: many people work hard and never make it, others don’t work at all and have it all handed to them)

As you can see, these useful lies are common memes in our society, especially a ‘self-made man’ society like the USA. They can be powerful tools and can propel you to new heights if used properly.


Why Useful Lies Can Be Counterproductive

I’ll focus on the “It’s your fault” useful lie since it encompasses almost all the other useful lies.

“It’s your fault” is a lie because there are many factors in the world that are outside your control.

Examples of things that are not your fault:

  • You were born deformed, extremely short, or with a very unattractive face and people don’t respond well to you.
  • Drunk driver hits your car and kills many of your family members and you have a hard time motivating yourself as a result.
  • Your dad beat you to within an inch of your life every day until you turned 16 and it causes you pain and anger every day.
  • Your uncle molested you when you were young and you have trouble with sexual relationships to this day.
  • You contracted a rare cancer that leaves you unable to move normally.
  • When you turned 21, a huge economic slowdown happened that lasted for 20 years and you still have a tough time staying afloat.

Many of these things can be overcome with willpower and determination (see the story of Nick Vujicic for an incredible example), but taking responsibility for things outside your control can lead to unnecessary hurt and anger. This fictional but relevant scene from Good Will Hunting illustrates the point.

Sometimes you need to accept that things are not your fault in order to stop beating your head against a wall. This acceptance might lead you to working around your limitations rather than futilely working though them.


A Better Approach

A better approach is the cold, hard truth – knowing your exact situation, who you are, what you are capable of, and what your limitations are and how you can work around them. Generally, the more capable you are, the more important it is to be truthful about yourself, e.g. top athletes routinely have to work around their limitations vs. their competition.

A good approach advocated by the Stoics and Stephen Covey is to separate everything into two groups: things you can control and things you can’t control. Then focus on the things you can control. Eventually, as your influence and expertise grows, the group of things you can control will grow larger.

A TRP example:

  • You can’t control how women are wired – this was developed over billions of years of evolution, thus you can’t negotiate desire.
  • You can’t control the cultural forces that support the promiscuity and hypergamy of women, unless you become a cultural leader, thus don’t try to evangelize TRP.
  • You can control your response by learning the rules and adapting to the situation. Focus on that.

Ultimately, the choices you make and your responses in all situations will determine what your life will become. Viktor Frankl said it best when he said that “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” This is what separates us from the animals – we can choose our response to most stimuli.

By recognizing the useful lie as a tool that can be discarded when inappropriate, by relentlessly seeking the hard truth and stamping out rationalizations, and by knowing your strengths and weaknesses and what you can improve and what you can’t, you’ll have the greatest chance of making the right choices, and the greatest chance of success in all your endeavors.

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Finding the 3rd Key to Masculine Fulfillment in Bali

Posted by Dan Diaphon on December 25, 2014

Well, where to begin?

Months of anticipation, a journey lasting 2 full days… and now, I had arrived.

From our previous online conversations I already had a strong sense that Aaron and I would hit it off, which we did from my very first night here that we spent up on the rooftop talking and taking in the city.

The topics ranged widely, as is to be expected when those with a broad knowledge base meet; the highlights included gamifying life as well as the palpable feeling of freedom that can come with being out of the western world.

 

And as for meeting X for the first time?

It was surprising.

As Aaron introduced us and I shook his hand there were 2 things that struck me – his compact athletic frame and his positive, zen aura that imbues whichever room he is in.

This was instantaneous and happened before he’d even said “hi”.

After X gave me the tour of all 7 floors we parted – he to fuck whichever girl was over that night (I still don’t quite have all their names straight) and I to drop off my stuff in my expansive room, then up to the roof with a beer.

That was it.
No questioning.
No “so, how was your flight?” smalltalk.
Our entire initial meeting didn’t even fill a half-hour.

I wasn’t offended, and I wasn’t really relieved, but it was odd.

Later I concluded that I found it odd was because I was comparing it to the normal way that normal people interact.

X is not normal. But you, dear reader, probably already know that.

Over the following week we had several one-on-one conversations while Aaron was in Singapore taking care of some business. I quickly realized that, although seemingly aloof at times, when a conversation really began in earnest with him, they usually morphed into free-flowing idea sessions that only ended when interrupted by an appointment.

 

So, what can I say overall?

Just this, I have found 2 other men who have both the innate intelligence coupled with red-pill knowledge required that has resulted in me never again having to wonder, “will I ever find some guys who just get it?”

That question no longer exists for me.

I have found the 3rd key to masculine fulfillment: high-quality male companions.

It’s incredible, and I hope you find the same…

Happy Holidays,

Dan Diaphon

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Making love requires high level cognitive development

Posted by xsplat on December 19, 2014

So many things can go wrong for a developing brain.

And in order to maximize brain development, so many aspects of what it can do need to be trained up in concert.

Women have evolved to be able to quickly spot signs of physical and mental fitness. Now a lot of guys think that women don’t chose well; they are attracted to stupid brutes, and their choices can harm society.

And while it’s true that women don’t chose who to fuck based on math ability, it’s not right that the evolved instinctual preferences are stupid.

Let’s list again a few of the neuro-developmental problems that women quickly pick up on and quickly find unattractive:

  • Autism spectrum disorders
  • Atypical empathic responses as social deficits (sociopaths can be charming and display above average empathic ability)
  • Cluster A personality disorders, including
    • Paranoid personality disorder:  irrational suspicion and mistrust of others, interpreting motivations as malevolent.
    • Schizoid personality disorder: lack of interest and detachment from social relationships, apathy, and restricted emotional expression.  Schizoid personality disorder is sometimes called Dismissive–avoidant attachment style, and refers to people who don’t want to emotionally bond with a mate.
    • Schizotypal personality disorder: extreme discomfort interacting socially, and distorted cognitions and perceptions.
  • Cluster B dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders such as Antisocial personality disorder: disregard for and violation of the rights of others, lack of empathy, bloated self-image, manipulative and impulsive behavior.
    • Borderline personality disorder: instability in relationships, self-image, identity, behavior and affects often leading to self-harm and impulsivity.
    • Histrionic personality disorder: attention-seeking behavior and excessive emotions.
    • Narcissistic personality disorder: a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Sometimes narcissists get an initial edge in the dating market when compared to dweebs, but after their masks are seen through, they get a major disadvantage over people with more sophisticated neuro-development; girls break up with narcissists. Narcissism is less of a disadvantage for pump and dump, but is a death blow to long term relationships. And even for pump and dump it’s less effective than a well rounded confident developed persona.
  • Cluster C anxious or fearful disorders, such as
    • avoidant personality disorder: pervasive feelings of social inhibition and inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation.
    • Dependent personality disorder: pervasive psychological need to be cared for by other people.
    • Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (not the same as obsessive-compulsive disorder): characterized by rigid conformity to rules, perfectionism, and control to the point of satisfaction and exclusion of leisurely activities and friendships.

Skills that women find attractive that point to high communication between various functions of the brain:

  • Dancing.  Dancing coordinates body and mind and emotions, plus requires being in simpatico with your dance partners. The best dancing requires being able to experience flow moments.
  • Playing music, especially in a band.  Again coordinates body and mind and emotions, and the best music always involves flow moments.  Being in a band requires simpatico and coordination with others.
  • Sports.  Body mind and strategy coordination, and team sports requires extra social ability to read and respond to your groups signals.
  • Leadership.  Being socially comfortable at all is a high level skill that requires a well developed brain, however actually being seen of as a leader, and being effective at it is a display of many high level skills functioning effectively, over time.

And finally:

  • Love.  I’ve heard so many stories of people meeting impressive people, and instantly being captivated by the force of their open love.  In my own life I’ve chosen mentors based in large part on this amazing ability.  My Grandmother was an incredible force of love, and my Father was a powerful man too.  Love is a very high level skill, that requires tremendous neuro-development.  Buddhists train for decades and decades in order to be able to open in love.  And it really shows.  It not only has a dramatic effect on personal happiness and well being, but provides a  social edge – people are immediately affected by the force of interpersonal openness.

I remember the first few times that I had sex, I was stuck in the narrative in my head.  I was not embodied.  There was what I considered as “me”, this storyline, running along in my head who thought that it controlled my body like strings control a puppet.

I was not integrated.  I was divided up into pieces.  If there were emotions, I’d often struggle with them.  It wasn’t that I was happy or sad or angry or horny, it was that emotions were impinging upon me.  It got so extreme at times that it was closer to the truth to say that I was hearing voices in my head than that I was having thoughts.  My self was disjointed.  I was not embodying emotions, and was forever separate even from the contents of my own mind and body.

So of course I could not meld into my lover.  I could not even meld into myself!

Nowadays when I have sex, it might start out as mechanical, but quickly becomes genuinely spiritual.  I am finely tuned in to my own bodies sensations, in a non-dual way – I embody them, while at the same time having control over them.  Just like being into and singing a song – you can control the mood and tempo of the music, but you are IN the music.  I may be subtly squeezing and releasing my perineum, while feeling energy in a ball below that and through my legs and below my feet, while simultaneously feeling a big pond of hot sex lava in my belly, while simultaneously having a heart so full of love that it fills my whole chest and spills down my arms to warm up my palms, while at the same time having energy up my spine and into my third eye, while at the same time breathing energies in and out of the top of my head, while at the same time screaming my head off in high pitched squeals, or low forceful grunts, or soft repetitive cooings.

And the whole time I am so finely tuned into my lovers signals, that if she approaches orgasm I don’t notice it at all; instead I FEEL it.  In my own body I FEEL her approaching orgasm, and my own pleasure increases dramatically.  In fact if I’m not warmed up it will be difficult not to come myself.  But if I’m in my full flow moment, her sex feeling and mine combine, and we both know it and both feel it, and the power and energy rises and rises, and is mixed with erotic force and love.

Making love is a high level orchestration of mind and body, and requires great neuro-development.  It’s an ongoing development – there is no end to the sophistication possible.

Posted in Happiness, LTR Game, Meditation, Sex Chikung & Kundalini, tantric, Uncategorized | 12 Comments »

The emotionally impotent hamburger-autistics

Posted by xsplat on December 17, 2014

ass-burger
Autistics are not able to comprehend normal healthy human emotions such as love and bonding, nor are they able to experience or empathise with the pleasures of loving touch.

Those with milder autism, the hamburger-autistics who have ass-burgers, are high enough functioning that they are able to communicate their wonderment to the world at large.

“Why do people fuck?!! Why do men have emotions?!! What’s going on, can’t men see that it’s really stoopid?!”

In this internet age, every meme gets it’s own support group, and the support group for the hambur-tards is called men going their own way, or MGTOW for short.

A lot of what we become started out in the womb. The hormones we swim in alter our brain and body development. Some male embryos develop a feminine thinking style due to a low levels of testosterone in the uterus. And throughout the development years and even after we develop, our hormones affect our thinking styles. And our bodies.

I was glancing at some porn sites with a lover the other day, and she she showed me some disturbing pictures. There was a western man with an Indian lover, who was frequently having threesomes with his girlfriends boss. The western guy had an unusually small dick, and the Indian guys was just as unusually large.

A lot of people think that all men are some how or other deep down all created equal, that some how or other we are all deserving of the same amount of respect or good will or treatment or that our opinions are all equally valid, or some other la-la nether-neverland ephemeral bullshit.

All men are created what? Equal did you say?

I say take a look at the picture I saw. Two men holding their dicks up, side by side. That’s not equal. I bet the girl didn’t experience them as equal either.

I can hear the MGTOW guys argue back “But why should I let OTHER people define MY worth?” Uhh, because sex? Because the ability to cause sexual pleasure is a real, factual, actual, measurable truly existing worth? Because you might like to cause another person pleasure, because doing so is personaly pleasurable? Any of that registering? No? No. You already checked out of the conversation right after you asked the question.

During our perusing of performing online couples, we chanced upon a young burly guy with stamina, fucking away on his girl, and both of us nearly broke out laughing at how emotionless the guy was. “Oh, that guy doesn’t do it for me at ALL”. His face was placid. As if he had no clue what the word passion could possibly mean. Like he was just sawing wood – as if fucking were a physical function. Only. Not a screamer.

Emotional ability is similar to dick size. It’s very influential. Sexual charisma is all about how responsive YOU are. Not how much response you can get out of the girl, through special finger movements and thrust timings. It’s about how emotionally and sexually responsive YOU are.

It’s the same for girls. Yes, a great blow job counts for a lot – points for technique. But the most important thing is how responsive the girl is. How much she is into it. How orgasmic she is, how in the flow she is, how given over to passion she is, how red her cheeks get, how loud her screams get, how totally taken over by the moment she gets.

That’s emotional power. Very similar to dick size.

And just like dick size, it can be cultivated.

In fact there is an effective therapy used for asexual women. It is to simply practice being sensual. Carefully notice and enjoy each bite of each grape. Day after day mindfullness is attached to sensual pleasures, and the new practice strengthens neuron connections related to enjoyment of pleasure, and then the women learn to be sexual, and even orgasmic.

It’s the same for enjoying ones own emotions. And life.

My dick is a decent size for Asia. It’s modestly above western average, but if I were plowing fields in the west, there might be some advantage to me to jelk regularly and get an extra 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch growth. I hear that’s a reasonable and common result, and takes about six months. And if I had a micropenis like that guy in the picture had, you are damn right I’d save every penny and get some surgery. A man needs to compete. I mean sure, we all play to our strengths, and most weaknesses can be overlooked, but we even have to shore up our weaknesses, if we can. I’m balding, and I wear hats now. I’m short, so I’m in South East Asia.

But guys are out there not only laying down to die, but “explaining” to other men that all men should lay down to die also, because something or other that has to do with it isn’t only losers who are losers and it’s not their own personal fault that they are losers and losers aren’t really losers and winners are actually the real losers.

I like to love and fuck attractive young women, so naturally I’ve found common interests in the wider manosphere and PUA types of sites. A diverse lot chimes in, including the man-boobed ass-burgers.

Here is a comment from yesterday over at the goingyourownway micro-penis-circle-jerk forum.*

*And what else should I call a group of incels and spergs who pat themselves on the back for being unable and unwilling to compete in the sexual marketplace? Is it shaming language? Look, for the most part I see MGTOW guys as lazy fat socially retarded idiots, who have no clue as to how inept they are, and who group together into a woman-haters-club of relationship fail. If that’s not shameful I don’t know what is. Being fat in itself is shameful. Fat fatties are fat. Refusing to even try to sexually compete? Ya. Sorry but I’m not sorry. Go ahead and roll over and die, but don’t expect to be lauded for it. If it were my son doing that I’d use shame and anything else possible to slap him out of his indulgence and work and compete. Get some fucking ambition.

I have observed before that women live to experience feelings. Good feelings, bad feelings – doesn’t matter. A woman lives to feel. Lives for drama. That drunk bitch, screaming at her boyfriend? She is having a grand old time. She feels truly alive.

So Mr Xplat here has decided to play the game, dating, relationships, plate-spinning, PUA, “Contemplative Dominance”. So self-aware, so ironic, so red-pill. The result? He winds up living on just the same level as any chick, batted around like a pinball by her hormones and the petty dramas in her life. And concludes in public that this, this is truly living.Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas. (Not to mention chlamydia, herpes, and AIDS.)

This is not the True Way.

A man lives to achieve.

and

What is the point of the power of reason if not to struggle against emotions?

I'm not going to feign pity on the Spock wannabees, and long experience with talking to the stupid and ego invested has shown again and again that it's pointless, so I'm not trying to start a reasonable dialogue with those incapable of it. But just in case there are those out there who are even slighty influenced by the cult-of-anti-intimacy that infects the manosphere, I need to speak up and influence you men. Because that's what men do – we help each other to not become total fuck ups. I will try to influence by talking about how in my OWN life, my personal day to day life, I face choices all the time, that affect my quality of life. Choices about how emotional to be.

I know, personally, and daily, that FEELING is directly related to overall quality of life. To personal and shared wellbeing, joy, contentment, ecstasy.

Nobody likes to suffer. The fact that we suffer is a fact – it’s not about a logical decision – it’s a fact. And we have no choice in the matter – we don’t like it. We can’t choose to like it, we can’t choose to accept it as it is. It is a biological fact that pain decreases quality of life – it’s a tautology. And it’s not just about avoiding pain. Pleasure increases quality of life. And there are plenty of known ways to increase and share pleasure. Increasing and sharing pleasure in mutually sustainable ways is good manners and good civics and good Christmas cheer and proper orgy etiquette.

And if the blatantly obvious were a silver nail you could not hammer it into the thick skulls of some of these ego-invested MGTOW tards.

“Emotions?!!! Emotions?!!! I don't understand. What are emotions? Why? Why oh why oh why?! Emotions and sex? It’s horrible. HORRIBLE I tell you!”

Good god man. Spergs and burgers.

ass-burgers

I spent many hours two days ago, listening to this Leonard Cohen song, as interpreted by Anthony, over and over. I found it haunting and oddly spiritual. It was condusive to chi-kung.

And then while at the gym today, it finally struck me. Leonard Cohen suffered long bouts of depression, and it shows up in his songs, and the entire tone of this song is one of giving over ones will. One line in it is “and end this night, if it be your will.” That’s not spiritual. That’s just laying down and giving up. That’s not some sort of spiritual “acceptance”, whatever that could possibly mean. It’s just abrogating responsibility and lowering your own testosterone. It’s not a take charge attitude.

If it be YOUR will? No. If it be MY will. If I decide. I am in charge of what I am in charge of. And it’s a lot.

On the other hand in order to open up our perceptions there is a lot of letting go that needs to happen. A relaxing past our current expectations and ego invested definitions of who we are.

So I’ll allow a spiritual letting go into our wider Self, and I’ll allow projecting out that Self onto a mythical other, as an exercise of growth to reach out into now-ness with open eyed wonder and appreciation.

Because that is an expression of OUR will. We own that too. We own it, and it’s good.

There is so much going on in my life right now that is a result of my will. So many great things. Perhaps I’ll get to that in another post.

If there is a point I’d like readers to take away from this post, it’s this; enjoying life is a habit. A habit that we can cultivate. And to maximize how much pleasure we can bring to others, it’s also a habit that we must cultivate.

One way I increase enjoyment with my girls is to sometimes do various role play games, in order to heighten emotions. A favorite is daddy-daughter, because that heightens feelings of genuine paternal love. Ya, it’s kinky, but get past that for long enough to get to the heart of the matter – the why of the kink. It greatly increases genuine affection, which hugely increases mutual satisfaction. That’s a major life hack, right there.

As does chi-kung – HUGE increase in sensitivity and power.

Emotions are necessary tools, the value of which could never be overstated. They are essential to our maximized life. And we can’t have only good ones.

Update: Paul Murray writes: ” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder ≠ Asperger’s Syndrome. ”

I’d never heard of that disorder, and it’s a fascinating read. Yes, Schizoid personality disorder closely matches some of what is expressed by many MGTOWs. In previous posts I’ve also mentioned that MGTOWs seem to have attachment disorders, such as the Dismissive–avoidant attachment style and the article on Schizoids says that some people think these are either related or the same thing. It’s also mentions that comparisons of SPD (schizoid personality disorder) and aspergers have been made, and that there are overlaps and differences.

Here is the money quote from the SPD wikipedia page:

“Only schizoid patients”, suggests Klein, “who have worked through the abandonment depression … ultimately will believe that the capacity for relatedness and the wish for relatedness are woven into the structure of their beings, that they are truly part of who the patients are and what they contain as human beings. It is this sense that finally allows the schizoid patient to feel the most intimate sense of being connected with humanity more generally, and with another person more personally. For the schizoid patient, this degree of certainty is the most gratifying revelation, and a profound new organizer of the self experience.

I’ve been making similar statements over and over in so many different ways on this blog.

This seemingly Buddhist notion of trying to be independent is a pathology. We are inherently interconnected. We CAN’T be fully ourselves, and maximally happy, without awareness of and inclusion of our social lives. We ARE social. We don’t just have social lives – we are fundamentally social.

Update: And from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy#Atypical_response

Atypical response

Atypical empathic responses have been associated with autism spectrum disorders; particular personality disorders such as psychopathy, borderline, narcissistic, and schizoid personality disorders; conduct disorder;[77] schizophrenia; bipolar disorder;[34] and depersonalization.[78]

It then goes on to describe different ways those on the autistic spectrum are clueless in their ability to understand why other men like to fuck and have normal human emotions:

Autism spectrum

The interaction between empathy and the autism spectrum is a complex and ongoing field of research. Several different factors are proposed to be at play here.
Alexithymia

A study of high-functioning adults with autism spectrum disorders found an increased prevalence of alexithymia,[79] a personality construct characterized by the inability to recognize and articulate emotional arousal in oneself or others.[79][80][81] Based on fMRI studies, alexithymia is responsible for a lack of empathy.[82] The lack of empathic attunement inherent to alexithymic states may reduce quality[83] and satisfaction[84] of relationships. Recently, a study has shown that high-functioning adults with autism appear to have a range of responses to music similar to that of neurotypical individuals, including the deliberate use of music for mood management. Clinical treatment of alexithymia could involve using a simple associative learning process between musically induced emotions and their cognitive correlates.[85] A study has suggested that the empathy deficits associated with the autism spectrum may be due to significant comorbidity between alexithymia and autism spectrum conditions rather than a result of social impairment.[86]
Mirror neuron activity

One study found that, relative to typically developing children, high-functioning children with autism showed reduced mirror neuron activity in the brain’s inferior frontal gyrus (pars opercularis) while imitating and observing emotional expressions.[87] EEG evidence revealed that there was significantly greater mu suppression in the sensorimotor cortex of autistic individuals. Activity in this area was inversely related to symptom severity in the social domain, suggesting that a dysfunctional mirror neuron system may underlie social and communication deficits observed in autism, including impaired theory of mind and empathy.[88] The mirror neuron system is essential for emotional empathy.[30]
Theory of mind

Previous studies have suggested that autistic individuals have impaired theory of mind. Theory of mind is the ability to understand the perspectives of others.[29] The terms cognitive empathy and theory of mind are often used synonymously, but due to a lack of studies comparing theory of mind with types of empathy, it is unclear whether these are equivalent.[29] Theory of mind relies on structures of the temporal lobe and the pre-frontal cortex, and empathy, i.e. the ability to share the feelings of others, relies on the sensorimotor cortices as well as limbic and para-limbic structures.[citation needed] Francesca Happe showed that autistic children who demonstrate a lack of theory of mind lack it for their self as well as for others.[89][citation needed] The lack of clear distinctions between theory of mind and empathy may have resulted in an incomplete understanding of the empathic abilities of those with Asperger syndrome; many reports on the empathic deficits of individuals with Asperger syndrome are actually based on impairments in theory of mind.[29][90][91]
Cognitive and affective empathy

Studies have found that individuals on the autism spectrum self-report lower levels of empathic concern, show less or absent comforting responses toward someone who is suffering, and report equal or higher levels of personal distress compared to controls.[36] The combination of reduced empathic concern and increased personal distress may lead to the overall reduction of empathy in those on the autism spectrum.[36] Professor Simon Baron-Cohen suggests that those with classic autism often lack both cognitive and affective empathy.[39] Research also suggests that people with Asperger syndrome may have problems understanding others’ perspectives in terms of theory of mind, but on average demonstrate equal empathic concern as and higher personal distress than controls.[29] The generally heightened personal distress in those with autism spectrum conditions has been offered as an explanation to the claim that at least some people with autism would appear to have heightened emotional empathy,[36][38] although emotional empathy depends on mirror neuron activity, which (as described previously) has been found to be reduced in those with autism, and empathy in people on the autism spectrum is generally reduced.[30][36]
Empathizing–systemizing theory

The empathizing–systemizing (E-S) theory suggests that people may be classified on the basis of their capabilities along two independent dimensions, empathizing (E) and systemizing (S). These capabilities may be inferred through tests that measure someone’s Empathy Quotient (EQ) and Systemizing Quotient (SQ). Five different “brain types” can be observed among the population based on the scores, which should correlate with differences at the neural level. In the E-S theory, autism and Asperger syndrome are associated with below-average empathy and average or above-average systemizing. The E-S theory has been extended into the Extreme Male Brain theory, which suggests that people with an autism spectrum condition are more likely to have an “Extreme Type S” brain type, corresponding with above-average systemizing but challenged empathy (see the next section).[92]

And then:

Personality disorders

Atypical empathy is associated with some personality disorders, including psychopathy, borderline, narcissistic, and schizoid personality disorders.

Schizoid personality disorder

Characteristics of schizoid personality disorder include emotional coldness, detachment, and impaired affect corresponding with an inability to be empathetic and sensitive towards others.

And I’ll copy my comments below into this main post, as they are relevant to the empathy and theory of mind disorders listed above:

The vast majority of them seem to be incapable of having any empathy with the common human condition – that we are a pair bonding species who like to fuck. Over and over they act surprised. Day after day. Their hobby is being surprised at the obvious.

The closest I’ve seen an MGTOW guy coming to terms with the fact that people like to mate is handwaving at sex with mentioning that fucking is ok, sometimes, if it’s a freeby that comes along, or if a guy pays for it. But never go after it.

And that does NOT address emotional bonding AT ALL. They literally can not even see the subject at all. It’s completely invisible to them.

Want intimacy? Oh, pay a prostitute.

Uh, what?

Ass-burgers are NOT men who go their own way. They are men who use shaming language against anyone who doesn’t have ass-burgers. Nya nya nya nya nya! You like to fuck and have emotions!

It’s the Dunning-Kruger effect gone wild. The incompetent are too incompetent to realize that they are incompetent. So you have a self selected group of the most socially incompetent people on the planet making socio-sexual commentary.

It’s the retard class barging in on the teachers meeting, “explaining” that the teachers are ignorant.

And

MGTOW guys refuse to compete, and are therefore losers. And they then want to not only stop others from keeping score, but want to gather together and make new rules such that the real losers are the people who successfully enjoy sex and romance.

Update: Regardless of a persons social ability, it would seem that learning and playing music should heighten emotional facility, and intersubjective social ability. It’s long been known that piano playing generally enhances overall brain development in children. I expect that adults would have benefits in many areas as well.

I’ve been using rolipram, which enhances memory formation and generates new neurons. I’ll be looking into other neurogenesis and learning enhancing supplements – I’ve found many so far that look very promising.

I’ve had periods of my life where I was socially awkward, and have seen a trend of improvement. So I expect that with some supplemental aids to neuroplasticity plus regular training, many people can greatly alter their inter-personal approaches, and find new ways to enrich their emotional lives. For me it’s new to have a team of guys to interact with. For other people it will be new to date young hotties. New stuff will require stretching and learning new abilities.

A general attitude of personal and interpersonal growth with the overarching framework of maximizing personal and group happiness is necessary, but not sufficient to realizing ones full potential.

Posted in Happiness, Haters | 17 Comments »

It’s all one game – even the heartbreak and rejections – that IS the game.

Posted by xsplat on December 10, 2014

Unbowed had some interesting discussions during a meetup with Krauser, and took away this insight:

I asked Nick about stoicism and being unemotional as that’s always bugged me in regards to inner game. He explained that while a cornerstone of game is emotional mastery, you will still feel highs and lows, it doesn’t matter if you’re a newbie or a veteran. Opening has an emotional cost. Rejection has a sting. An SDL has a euphoric feeling. And regardless of this emotional roller coaster, it does not matter. There’s no inherent meaning or grand purpose to any of this. It’s just a game. But make no mistake, you will feel the highs and lows. The minute you stop feeling means you’re out of the moment. If you’re not feeling both the flak and the bliss and everything in between, then you’re not in the game. Sure the intensity will differ depending on individual variables, but it boils down to feeling. The mastery comes where you can make a decision in spite of the emotions. I found it to be a subtle but notable distinction.

I was thinking something quite similar last night. My Beauty Queen had invited me to visit for four days, as her family will be out of town and so she can sleep over, but then the next day she begged off with some lame excuse.

At first I was philosophical about it. I’ve got other girls I’m into, and am developing a pipeline. I allowed myself the pain of acknowledging that she’s an 8 who is a screamer, and that’s going to take a wide pipeline to replace. Walking over to one of my girls places I was still thinking about her, and my heart hurt. So I just let it hurt, and emobodied it, and felt it. Not just let it wash over me, but let that be what I was doing and being – embody it in the same way you might embody a song you are really into and singing. And it occurred to me that while that’s pain, that IS the game.

That IS what dating is. That’s it. It’s these waves of pleasure and pain. If you can’t feel the pain, you can’t properly play the game. You won’t be able to effectively seduce, and you won’t be able to really feel the bliss and the joy.

All night long even in my sleep and dreams I was heartbroken, and woke up feeling down.

And I also had a great evening with my long time lover.

And I was also cranky at another lover for leaving town for a few days without permission.

And that’s it. That IS the game.

It isn’t winning a contest over your emotions. It isn’t only feeling pleasure. It’s the whole thing. That’s the game – you can’t win at dating uless you date, and you can’t date unless you feel, and you can’t feel unless you really feel – all the pleasure and all the pain.

I explain something like this to new lovers I meet. I let them know that I’ve often felt extreme heartbreak. Sometimes I’ll use the example of my dead lover; it’s very easy to empathise with such a wrenching loss for people, and there is no sidetrack into stories of who left who for what reason. I let it be known that while I feel heartbreak deeply, that it’s no excuse not to live life fully. I hate it as much as anyone else – pain is pain. But I’m not afraid of it.

I don’t let it stop me.

It’s the game. The whole game. It’s part of the whole thing.

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

The battle of the sexes won’t be waged the same way ever again

Posted by xsplat on December 9, 2014

When people see how feminism has been changing culture, they then naturally try to envision the future; how will things develop. But never do I hear of future projections that take into account the wild card of technological change.

Society follows upon opportunity, and opportunity follows upon technology.

Agrarian technology ushered in dramatic social changes. The industrial revolution ushered in more. The pill and the service economy ushered in more. The internet more still.

If we could forecast that there will not be any more major socially disrupting new technologies, then we can try to peer into our horizons. But I don’t see that as likely at all.

We are going to start to see some very major technological shifts that will dramatically change culture, in ways far more profound than feminism ever has.

Genetic engineering of ourselves and offspring, surgical remolding as well as biological grafts, computer implants, and yes, even the borg.

If you are looking 60 years into the future and not even thinking about technology then you are thinking that history is cyclical.

Technology is not cyclical.

History is not cyclical.

Social changes are not cyclical.

I’m old enough to have lived pre internet and pre cell phone. Nobody imagined our current future. It was a surprise.

We will have surprises FAR more disruptive on society than feminism.

Adapt or don’t. If people think they have witnessed big cultural shifts, and are hoping for things to swing back around, they’ve got it ALL wrong.

We aint seen nothin yet.

The changes have only barely begun.

Sex robots. Resource wars that could impact our physical safety and use unfamiliar weapons, such as bio-tech, micro-drones, and autonomous robots.

Mind controlling implants and microbes. Brain upgrades.

Even in the last few years facebook and tinder have changed society. Forty years ago that was not a prediction.

Forty years from now the battle of the sexes will be held on a vastly different landscape. What having a baby even means will be vastly different; genes will no longer be a matter of paternity and maternity alone.

And the effect of native genes will be vastly different. We will be altering our own genetic makeup after being born. As well as our appearance, and organs, and senses, and even how our very brains and thought processes function.

Society will be connected up in new ways we have never imagined.

People think sexting is an issue. Brain-wifi all-senses connected international sex orgy anyone? What is your chosen avatar?

My point of injecting this pragmatic uncertainty into the dialog is to point out that in order to live strategically, our short and medium term goals must include working with the system as it is. Our long term goals should include being in the best possible position to adapt. And that for me means increasing wealth as much as possible.

Nowhere is it pragmatically useful to plan for a future in which the battle of the sexes continues to be waged in our current technological landscape.

That present is ALREADY the past. The present is history. This landscape won’t be where the battle happens.

It will be a DIFFERENT battle.

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

Why it’s “rape” if the woman is drunk, but not the reverse

Posted by xsplat on December 9, 2014

Comment from Johnycomelately at Rollo’s blog

Kanazawa is the preeminent redpill researcher out there, he has been pilloried to kingdom come and kicked off every site he wrote for (most notably Psychology Today) because of his redpill research.

Here’s an exert from a response to a critic.

“When it comes to intersexual selection, the law states that the sex that invests less into the offspring is sexually more aggressive, and the sex that invests more is sexually more choosy and coy (Trivers 1972). This means that, among most mammalian species (including all primates), the female is more choosy than the male, and thus sex and mating become a female choice (Kirkpatrick 1987; Small 1993).

There is by now a significant amount of evidence to demonstrate that men lek (conspicuously display their genetic quality) and women choose from among the available men.

If sex and mating were a male choice, how is a regular copulation different from rape? Why is rape so traumatic and devastating to women if it is no different from a regular copulation (Thornhill & Thornhill 1983)? Rape is so traumatic and devastating to women precisely because that is the only time when a sexual copulation is not a female choice. All the other instances of sexual intercourse are treated and perceived differently because they are always a female choice. ”

Men lek (display) and females choose, all game is based on improving or imitating high value lekking.

Anything that violates fully informed female choice, whether by inducing self delusion, mimicking, omission, deception, contriving or guile is seen as rape by a low status male. Drunken sex is viewed as the removal of capacity to choose and therefore rape.

That is why being ‘tricked’ or ‘taken advantage of’ seems to be so prevalent in female discourse, I guess that is why game is so villified.

The hysteria isn’t about genuine rape but the innate fear of having sex with low value men, the prevalence of ‘game’ simply adds to the hysteria.

As Whisky used to say, “Women hate hate hate betas.” And sex with a low value man is akin to rape.

and boomerick wrote:

Feminist Rape Culture is the female ego defensive idea that, for every woman, no matter how unappealing they might be, all men on some level desire her, to the point of her fantasizing that all men could loose control and act violently against their natural male protective instinct, societal conditioning, and legal penalty threat to “have” her (she’s THAT important). The affected woman can enter into every situation/ transaction throughout her every day assuring herself of her own desirability even though most likely she’s not even noticed or wanted (she’s truly insignificant and unimportant). It’s over compensation for basic female insecurity. The amount of solipsism pushing this “culture” is staggering.

Johnycomelately again:

The rape hysteria also has a deeper motive, equalitarianism (high taxes and social distribution) has changed the economic ecology and altered the incentives for female bonding patterns.

Several economists and anthropologists contend that society is transitioning from monogamy to serial monogamy (serial polygyny).

For serial polygyny to be facilitated women require absolutely unfettered, unrestricted, unconditional, uncommitted, unrestrained, unmoralizing, independent and completely free and unqualified safe access to sexual free choice. Unbounded by contracts, agreements, social norms, moral restraints, religious injunctions, social ties, aesthetic norms, maternal obligations, infanticide (abortion), selling progeny (adoption) and economic restrictions.

Anything that is deemed as restrictive is seen as limiting this choice, male spaces, employment obstacles, undesirable attention, unsafe neighbourhoods, male aesthetic standards, religion and of course RAPE.

What we are seeing is ‘choice hysteria’, anytime someone somewhere restricts female sexual choice it is met with unbounded fury. Even centuries long legal precedents and wrongful inprisonment must acquiesce to facilitate free choice.

Here are some quotes showing we are transitioning to serial polygyny.

Murdock’s (1967) Ethnographic Atlas categorized just 16% of 862 cultures as exclusively monogamous, with polygamy being found at some level in the rest.

A 2011 study from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that just 23% of women and 14.7% of men aged 25-44 had one (or zero) opposite-sex lifetime partners.

Frank Marlowe, Biological Anthropology – Cambridge
When males provide all the income but some have much more than others, richer males achieve polygyny, while ecologically imposed monogamy prevails in case of moderate inequality. When males provide an intermediate level of investment with little variation, females are not excessively dependent on males and serial monogamy may arise.

David de la Croix, Professor of Economics
In a society with few rich males and virtually no rich females, polygyny is supported by rich males, who can naturally monopolize a larger number of partners, and poor females, who prefer to be the n-th wife of a rich male rather than marrying a poor male monogamously.
Eventually, however, the number of rich males increases enough, and poor females prefer to marry monogamously.
Serial monogamy follows from a further enrichment of the society, through a rise in either the share of rich males, or the the proportion of rich females.

Monique Mulder, Anthropology
A key finding here is that while men do not benefit from multiple marriages, women do. Although the data are very variable (large standard errors), women appear to gain more from multiple mating than do men.

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