During an altered state, an innummerable number of co-ordinated voices in my head were embodied as if in cells from my head to toe. We are perfect friends with each other, after all these close years of interaction. In fact we realize that there is no me vs them – awareness somehow or other is telepathic within my self – the many different awarenesses merge – sometimes by them bringing things into consciousness, sometimes by us all sharing the same consciousness.
So we played. I knew I could do just about anything that I wanted to with my mind. We partied, and they gave me music, with many instruments. Then they started chanting a life affirming “yes” “yes” “yes”. Thousands or hundreds of thousands of voices. Then I heard “no” “no” “no” join in, and the yes voices got muted. Both the yes and no were not voices in my head that I listened to from inside a room of my “self” narrative. No no no. As a lucid dreamer by know I’m perfectly familiar with my mind being my mind. I know and feel the voices as my very respected selves. And they respect me too. We’re good friends by now.
And therefore I said “that’s ok, chant no also”. And so the yes and the no chanted together. The no with perfect power to dampen down the rising and rising chorus of extactic music and yes. The yes and no were in perfect harmony, not fighting at all.
This is a real thing that happened just yesterday.
It’s rather incredible, and perfectly credible – this is an amazing world.
Later I realized I can at will stop the internal diologue and be present, just as I’d spent a great many years dedicatedly practicing, in Buddhist monasteries, in long solitary forest retreats (the most transformative one lasting 11 weeks, coming out only for food once every one or two weeks, a long treck over a mountain knee deep in snow), and on countless forgotten meditation cushions. And the chi-kung. It’s the same thing. Embodied shared awarenesses of colors, feelings, voices, music.
A few days ago in another altered state I directly experienced that visions don’t have to be in the form of movies; the awarenesses can be multiple and infinite and overlapping; as if 100 phantasms shared the same 3 dimensional space. That is how awareness works, yet we usually are stuck in narrative. The narrative is just one different fantasm. Not a self at all. It’s just a very small part of all of the phantasms that make me up.
Life is very good, and you can make great friends with yourself, and he/she/it/we are incredibly interesting and can be very funny and generous, and all get along in good harmony.