People who actually use advise are rare and difficult to make a living from.
Yes, and what’s worse is that people’s egos are usually very prickly.
I am generally happy to give someone else all the credit for being top dog as long as I can walk away with whatever stuff of value I was looking to gain from an operation.
That’s something that I’m working on. I’m not a great listener. Sometimes I have to notice that and force myself to pay more attention to pick out the wheat from the chaffe. To read comments twice. To not focus only on what I disagree with. To try to put myself into the other person’s shoes and figure out the insights from that perspective.
I noticed how bad I was at that, in part from seeing how good Nash is at it. And many other commenters here also.
But most people I think have a very difficult time with new perspectives.
Which usually makes talking about something where we are VERY emotionally invested, such as how to fuck, nearly impossible.
Theredquest says that he rarely gets positive feedback or interest when he talks about the benefits of a low sugar diet and using a bycicle for commuting as part of a fitness regimen.
Because people get prickly about their self esteem. So you can’t give advice.
And even on a blog where people go to to learn, giving advice will almost never work.
So many times, after people see me do chi-kung or meditate, they tell me “oh, I should start doing that”.
It’s like saying “Oh, I should also start a small side business”.
Like you say, it’s all talk. Nearly nobody ever actually does it.
And for talking about tantric types of sex, people actively avoid even imagining what the benefits could possibly be. Not only are most people too lazy to learn it, they are anti-lazy in even imagining what the benefits could be.
Luckily there is already a very small audience of people who have similar interests and lifestyles, and so that tiny audience of peers helps to keep me from giving up.
But as for actually influencing people?
All I can do is plant seeds, and hope for VERY long term minor social changes.
Or hope that a very few sensitive and talented men will take a small hint and run with it. That actually does happen.
Yesterday I listened to a very recent (Jan 2019) convo between Tom Torero, Troy Francis, and the now married Paul Janka.
I noticed that Torero and Francis (active players) never asked Janka (legendary retired player) any questions like “What are the wonderful things about married life?” or “Tell us about your wife” or “Do you think there’s a value in commitment to another person that you don’t get in short-term interactions?”
At times I had the sense they were less interested in Janka’s true experience of the decision to live monogamously (and the consequences thereof), and more interested in voicing (and reinforcing) their faith in their own respective mating strategies.
At any rate, because of where their heads were, I felt they missed the chance to have a real deep and revealing conversation about relationship styles, favouring instead a rather superficial and conventional discussion of “monogamy versus player.”
I don’t think any of the three men learned anything in the conversation, or were changed or influenced at all by each other. They enjoyed themselves, but there wasn’t any authentic intersubjectivity.
The marriage convo is here:
Which led me to watch this very long video of Janka, filmed when he was just at the start of the relationship with the girl he went on to marry:
I had not listened to Janka in years, and I’d completely forgotten how verbally intelligent that man is.
Great comment, and I like that Paul Janka video; I really vibe with his style.
I wish I could teach 1/5th as well as he can.
His story of playing with a girls pussy within a few minutes of meeting her, with her friends friend sitting beside her and not knowing was familiar. Because I did that too. Later that night the girl came home with me, despite the violent protestations of her cock blocking lesbian best friend. Then the 21 year old micro-mini hottie moved in on the first date and we lived together for 1 year. Must be fourteen years ago now. Long enough that I remember her, but don’t reminisce about her.
I wonder how long it took Paul Janka to be able to TEACH like that. It’s one thing to do a thing well, but teaching how to do a thing well is a very different skill set.