Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

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Because even a virgin who is passionately in love with me is not enough

Posted by xsplat on April 10, 2015

A pretty face is a drug. And a tight and firm little girl body with ample breasts that are high and firm enough to have sprouted the night before will arouse me into a fervour of religious reverie.

I love being in love. Mutual love is the best possible drug.

I’ve tried heroin, crack, codeine, valium, pot, lsd, shrooms, and more. I’ve had experiences of strong meditative bliss, and screaming chi-kung ecstasies. But nothing comes close to the drug of being in mutual love with a hottie who orgasms regularly and easily.

XSplat, quick question: what is the best exercise or tip for increasing one’s horniness toward a particular female?

I wish I knew. There is a girl that I really like in many ways who doesn’t physically turn me on as much as I’m used to. It’s a shame. Especially as I recently took her virginity and she’s obsessively infatuated with me.

I’ve been in the same situation before, in Thailand. There was a time when I had two girlfriends – one I loved but would go soft inside sometimes only after a few minutes. The other one I didn’t like at all, but we fucked for hours and hours pretty well every day.

I really wish I had a choice in these matters.

It could get very confusing if I didn’t have the comparisons. I’d think my dick wasn’t working.

And the same happens for girls. For some girls they only come with me. But sadly, also for some girls they come for other guys but not me.

Chemistry can be discovered, over time, and it can grow. I’ve seen that many times. But I’ve also seen it not grow.

I wish I had a button inside me to push so that a girl with a great personality but body shape that doesn’t quite do it could turn me on as much as a hotty bitch.

And I wish my personality and skills were always enough to get 100% of all women’s motors fully running.

I appreciate the different kinds of love and passion I can feel for women. The companionate appreciation can be real and deep and meaningful. But it’s very different from the effect of eye candy. I just love a pretty face.

And I know women can be the same way. They can love a man, but not feel that rush.

And yet chemistry isn’t an easy calculation. I’ve known girls to come easily and passionately with me, and not at all with model handsome men.

And the types of girls I’m most into would not do it for a lot of guys. I like them micro mini and way over the top neotenous. Like Japanese Anime girls. Sopping wet with sexuality, but with a look so young it’s on some edge. Blossomed, but freshly pink.

I was out hunting yesterday. I started with the beach, and then cruised a shopping mall. It’s a fascinating endeavor. Scouting around, thoughts will scamper through my mind; “Is that girl hot enough for me to bother to approach? Na. Even if I got her interested I’d quickly lose interest in her. Woah! That one is so hot! I can’t possibly stand a chance. What is my state like? Am I in the best possible zone, or should I do a few practice sets and come back? I don’t want to use a hottie for practice – she needs my best possible a game, just for me to have the slimmest of chances.”

One girl was dressed up in a fuck-me outfit, walking with her plain friend. Boom I opened. “Hi! What’s your name? I had to stop you.”.”Why?” I look her up and down and say as if it’s obvious “because you’re so hot!” Everything I said came out with a side of lame and awkward and greasy, and I was leering at her with a creepy grandpa smirk. I was hurried and urgent in my rapid fire questions. “How long are you staying here? What do you do?” In the end I let her escape by handing her my business card for a purported modelling agency.

But you know what? She actually messaged me an hour later. And then gave me lols when I told her that her name Sasha sounded Russian, and that I would call her Natasha instead.

So I’m an old guy, creeping around the beaches and malls, hunting for girls who are WAY the fuck out of my league, so that I can fuck them and feel that most exquisite of highs. And bond with them and get them to fall in love with me and make my sheets all wet.

I met a girl at a shopping mall some months back. She chose my checkout lane at a department store so I struck up a conversation. I’d had one date with her and her friend, that seemed to go ok, but I could never get her out on a second date, so I gave up and hired her as a talent scout for my purported modelling business, and to do some part time data entry. She only visited a few times for training after that, but when she did I couldn’t help but stare at her face. I literally fell in love each time she’d visit. It would last at least an hour.

So yesterday I finally got her out on a date. I told her that I wanted to get to know her better, and so she agreed to an “interview”.

We started out on the beach, and the interview went well right off the bat. Two glasses of wine later I took her to a restaurant near my villa. During dinner I finally got to the three big questions that I wanted to ask her. 1) Is she a virgin? Yes. 2) Has she ever watched porn? No. 3) Has she ever masturbated? No. When I told her of of how I had to rape-start M21 and how it took her a year to grow into her strong multiple orgasmic sexuality, the little virgin threw her head onto my lap and started laughing. She was laughing all through dinner and then asked about my piano, so of course I took her to my room to play for her.

Then she kept going on about 50 shades of grey and comparing me to Dorian. “I can’t believe I’m in the arms of my boss right now! I’m so nervous! This is so wrong! You are my boss!”

The girl is petite and felt oh so good in my arms. My hand resting on her lower belly. Looking at her face made me nervous, but what a drug that eye candy is. She kept staring and staring at me, with a big nervous smile. We didn’t even kiss but it was electric.

So my dating skills are good, and my conversion rate for girls who I get on a date is high. And then keeping girls interested is a skill practised to an expert level. But day game is an entirely different story.

Walking up to some girl and stopping her, and then getting her interested in me? I’m nearly 50, short, noticeably well below average in facial attractiveness, and balding. And I go for girls in their teens and early twenties, and am only satisfied if I think they truly could be models.

A few days ago I was driving along and I spotted a pink haired hottie walking alone. I pulled right over, stalked her, crossed the street and overtook her, then doubled back to say hi as I walked towards her. She was on her phone but not one fuck was given. “Hi. You’re really cute. I had to say hi to you”. She kept talking on her phone and I kept not giving a fuck. I was there now. I took precedence, obviously. So she hung up her phone and chatted with me for a while and I did get the number. A student from another island, here for a week. A few days later she answers that she’s already flying back, but could be available next week.

And back in Java I got a girl I’d met out for a date – four months after I got her number. I must have invited her out 10 times before she agreed. The date went very well, and she all but offered to be my girlfriend, but I flew out to bali shortly after.

So it’s not impossible. It’s a matter of numbers, and state, and game. I am what I am, but even at my age, I can win sometimes.

I know what I want, and it’s a difficult thing to get. That perfect young hottie who arouses hot devotion. I have not yet built up my business pipelines to feed a constant stream of girls into my life. I’m working on that. In the mean time I’m just going to have to regularly hit the streets and do the hard work.

Because I’m not in mutual love with a hottie lately. I mean, I have sex with my girls all the time – sometimes pretty fucking good sex too. But I’m not in love with anyone. And I want that. I’ve had that. And I’m going to get that again, or die trying.

There is just nothing else like it.

Posted in Uncategorized | 16 Comments »

Overcoming resistance through strong passion, and how providers get hot morning blowjobs

Posted by xsplat on March 28, 2015

superslaviswife said:

I can’t imagine wanting someone who doesn’t want me. From when I became interested in sex, I liked stepping away from every man who approached me and when they stepped back too, it was some sort of confirmation they weren’t really all that interested. If they weren’t all that interested, then what would I get out of a relationship with them? So although I wasn’t happy when they stepped back, I was glad because it meant I made the right decision. If I took one step forward and two steps back, I wanted the man who took two steps forward.

Now, this won’t help the average man looking to get laid. Especially not if most “one step forward, two steps back” girls are like me. It would simply take too long. But if there’s a middle ground where they will withdraw, but not keep stepping back, it could be worth watching because a lesser amount of persistence may be needed to bed or LTR such women.

Ya, I also got huge resistance from the new girl that I’m dating. After our first date she showed interest, but as a virgin claimed to be too nervous to visit me again in my villa, and stood me up for at least 5 dates before I finally met her at a restaurant.

It took a great deal of persistance to eventually get her shirt off. Every inch of her that I touched was like a battle over unconquered territory. Because it was; I don’t think she had ever even had her breasts touched yet. She was constantly swatting my hands away, and I was constantly going back for more.

And then on the seventh date the struggle of even getting a finger inside her painfully tight vagina. Now THAT’S a barrier! Ya, a man really has to be able to overcome resistance to take a woman’s virginity! “OOOOWWWWW STOP THAT HURTS!!!” I got the tip in on the 8th, with much screaming, but it wasn’t until the 9th date, after giving her a tramadol and valium that she was able to take the whole dick and actually fuck. By all accounts she enjoyed herself.

Persistance played a huge role in her seeing me as serious enough to bother with.

And of course as I’m her first, she now thinks of me all the time, to the point of obsession. She sends me sexy texts regularly, which warm my heart as well as make me hard. The effort was quite worth it.

When I hear people say things like “go for a girl who doesn’t put up much resistance, because that’s the only girl who is REALLY into you”, it’s just cringe-worthy advice.

And it does not just relate to virgins.

Persistence is HUGE to last minute resistance as well. I can’t count the number of times my hands have been swatted away. One girl even literally cried out at the top of her lungs “STOP! STOP! STOP!” for the whole rooming house to hear as I pulled her jeans by the ankle dragging her across the floor to pull them off. She also stayed the night, and the next night, and so on for two and half years. She’s still in my life to this day. And although we are no longer sexual, she’s still devoted and doting in her actions.

Nobody is right all the time, but some of the advice that’s out there is really terrible. And some of it is really terrible and goes under the radar.

The alpha-fucks/beta bucks dichotomy has been so overblown to now qualify as terrible advice. It puts men off the realistic challenge of passionate LTRs as a man who controls the finances.

And for men in LTRs, controlling the finances is an edge. A very valuable, and I would say very important edge. The man gets a major advantage by being a provider.

Emotions are naturally evolved to give rewarding feelings when there is personal benefit. As monkeys we felt excitement at finding oranges in the trees, and then a rush of bliss tasting the sweet fruit. Sex is an addictive fruit that both sexes can use as rewards for good behavior. And money and security is also a reward, and also can be used judiciously as a means to train.

And it’s not just about being able to retain or dole out rewards. With women it’s not ONLY a matter of security providing comfort. It has been scientifically studied that women orgasm more for wealthy men. The status that comes with money also pushes the alpha attraction triggers.

Provider game, when done well, is about so much more than wasting three months salary on a ring and more on a wedding and getting the princess-with-the-pussy new trinkets regularly. You can be a stingy mother fucker. When I married I gave my bride a $3.00 silver ring, and she wore it for many years on after we divorced. Sometimes my current girls actually earn me a profit. It’s not about paying for attention, it’s about controlling resources. If she can’t get that needed resource elsewhere, then you have hand. And if you have ample hand, you also have status.

When a man brings strong passionate lust to the table, on every engagement, plus enriches a womans life in all other possible ways, including financially, she will quickly learn that he is her main reward center. And in the morning her lips will be sucking that reward center.

Proper LTR game is neither alpha fucks nor beta bucks. You use every possible means to get the girl to see you as her whole world. You train her up and mold her into the woman you need her to be.

It takes time.

But we are all animals, and operant conditioning works. You can’t make a silk purse out of a pigs ear, but you can make a suede purse out of it. Near any woman can be trained up to be useful. Passionately, devotedly, addictively useful.

Posted in Uncategorized | 22 Comments »

Does the manosphere teach learned helplessness?

Posted by xsplat on March 27, 2015

Truth can be twisted. When you spin a fact you get something worse than a lie; you get a partial truth used in the service of a wrong view.

And so it goes for the alpha fucks beta bucks meme. You take the truth that women who are not dating a successful high testosterone man seek out higher T men when they are ovulating, and then turn it into the notion that women have a black and white either or mating strategy and in the vast majority of situations compartmentalize their dualistic sexual strategies, to such a degree that any man who provides is automatically not a man who the woman desires.

Alpha men are said to get the real lust, while the overwhelmingly vast majority of any man who provides does not arouse lust. People have taken this idea further and further, creating a cartoonish charicature out of the complexities of sexual strategies. EITHER you are an R selected lover who goes in for brief flings who she takes anal from, OR you are a K selected provider for whom she gives the cuddles and doles out occasional tepid sex.

Anyone who has read much of my blog already knows my opinions on the matter. Money and power and status in a man can increase sexual lust in a woman. Some of the provider qualities can push alpha attraction triggers in the woman. And a women’s best sex is reserved for men who also arouse her emotionally in romantic ways. That’s just a tautology – great sex is even greater with love. Anyone with experience of both will enthusiastically agree.

But people think in black and white. Just because there is truth in the fact that women can lose attraction to their beta providers and then go on to treat them like shit, it does not follow that the fact of providing automatically means that the man could not also push all other attraction triggers.

What we get all over the manosphere is disaffected men who have not learned how to maintain attraction assuming that it’s the fault of women – that it’s their hypergamy and dual sexual strategies that are to blame. They talk about themselves and each other as if providers are all just betas, and really the women wanted alphas, and all relationships that include provision are built on “negotiated desire”. I see this especially in the comments section of Rollos blog, and to a degree in Rollos own writing, especially in the comments.

Rollo also has said that if the woman is not initially attracted to you, then you should not waste your time persuing her, instead you should take the time to find a new girl, who is actually into you.

My experience is that persistence in the face of rejection can actually CREATE desire.

From https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201308/what-do-women-really-want

Female desire, according to Meana, is activated when a woman feels overwhelmingly desired, not rationally considered. Female erotic literature, including all those shades of gray, is built on this fantasy. Sexual desire in this view does not work according to our expectations and social values. Desire seeks the path of desire, not the path of righteousness. It thrives not on social order but on its negation. This is one reason all religions and societies try to control, contain, limit and re-direct it.

My experience is also that lust can be created, over the long term. It is not just that taller men with symmetrical facial features and big muscles are the Alphas that most women really want, and that the rest are just betas who have to negotiate desire and are all fooling themselves and who protest too much whenever they point out the inane and wrong headed and self defeating and emasculating views of alpha-fux-beta-bux proponents.

Genuine lust can be cultivated in a woman.

From my last post:

S17 is a good example of how passion – true physical lusty passion – can be cultivated in a woman. How value is not always shown all at once, through height and looks. A girl can over time not only open up in love, but open up in lust, as she sees you as more and more valuable. Value can come in many forms, and what to a girl is a “high value man” that deserves every outward show of affection and care and attentive lust is a complicated calculation that continues to calculate over time, and over time that calculation feeds raw data to raw emotions.

In order to get the most out a woman, the man has to push all possible attraction triggers, and show value in all possible ways. Having financial hand is extremely valuable.

It is not either/or.

It is either/or/and.

And is a word that many people are simply constitutionally unable to grasp.

You can do BOTH at the same time, and you don’t have to be a flying purple unicorn to do it. You can love a woman, and put her in an apartment and pay her bills, and be dominant, and fuck the hell out of her, and get her best sex, and have her insanely in love with you to the point of constant obsession, and you can do that with more than one girl at a time.

The manosphere is allowing splinter groups to spin truth in order to provide comfort to guys who never learned how to maintain passion in long term relationships.

The new soma? “It’s not my fault for not being able create and maintain maximum passion. It’s her fault for being hypergamous.”

Posted in Uncategorized | 34 Comments »

My unreasonably high beauty standards

Posted by xsplat on March 25, 2015

I was 30 and she was 41. Over the course of a few months we’d fallen deeply in mutual love. Over the next two years I would be continuously tortured by my own disappointment with her age.

She was a one in a million match for me, personality wise. A yoga teacher, meditator, and chi-kung practitioner, with a loving touchy feely body and a keen bright and funny wit. The sex was great. We had bonded intensely. Still, when we went out skiing, I could not help but be fascinated by the young girls, and disappointed at her age. Being confronted with the contrast was painful.

And for her part she could never get over how poor I was. She was used to the man being the provider of financial security, and her disappointment in me was also endless and a source of great turmoil.

We both wished it were not so. I wanted to accept her age. She wanted to accept my financial situation.

One day she recounted to me advice she had heard from her Guru for how to look inward to find solutions. “If you ever have a really difficult problem, clearly formulate a concise question about it just before you fall asleep. If you get the same answer in three different dreams, then you can accept that answer as wisdom coming from your core.”

Every night I would ask myself what to do about these feelings that she was too old for me. Every night I would have the same dreams. I dreamt of dating teenagers and girls in their early twenties. A few at a time. Often the girls would find out about each other.

Fast forward a few years and I was doing just that. And because of that I had become quite happy.

Through that experience I discovered that I simply can not choose my emotions and my preferences. For better or worse, they are what they are.

Lately I’ve been dating an attractive just-turned-twenty-three full Chinese woman who I click with very well. She’s bright and cheerful and fun, and is personable and attentive and generous and doting. Very good relationship with all of her family. She’s diligent and earned two university scholarships, and scored 130 on some IQ test. I expect to fall in love with her and bond. I’m already quite fond of her, and love did well up in me as I fucked her for the first time in her life just a few days ago.

But physically she is not quite the body type that I usually seek. I like her body. It’s firm and curvy and smells right. She’s just a bit more athletic and less micro-mini petite. The waist hip ratio is not as extreme.

I spent an entire day yesterday walking around examining women’s hips. N19 has great hips and a nice tight ass. But a horrible personality. I often really don’t like her, and can become uncomfortable and irritated and even unhappy around her if we are not fucking. But her hips really work for me.

We’ve all daydreamed about building the perfect women out of parts of our various girlfriends, to create a Franken-girl.

And many manosphere readers are familiar with the idea that girls are prone to seeking out alpha-males way out of their league, and often confuse being desired sexually for a fling with a very high value man with the potential for tying one down for commitment.

I’ve had some amazing girls in my life. As recently as a few months ago I had a brief fling with a true stunner who was great in bed and had a great personality. I can’t get over the fact that she was, even if briefly, attainable to me. Why should I not keep trying for that? Or am I forever seeking out what is unrealistic based on my experiences within fleeting flings?

I’ve had long term super charged lust based relationships with young hotties, but I’ve had to compromise on brains and personality. I really enjoy the level of passion that only comes from adoring very specific body types. I can appreciate the body shape and feel and smell so much that it becomes a type of devotion. Sexual and lusty and loving devotion. An art form of hedonism and reverence.

And so I have trepidations about what I fully expect to happen next. I will fall for my new V. She already has been obsessively thinking about me for many weeks now. And I liked her a great deal since our first meeting.

But I know I will keep looking for someone just like her but with hips more to my liking. I’m not sure if that can go well.

Still though, when we were fucking a few days ago, I was overwhelmed with a novel emotion; that she was a woman suitable for my seed. She would make a great baby, and a great mother. That notion mixed with the erotic feelings in my belly, and heightened it so much that the feelings welled up all the way to my heart, and I could not help but burst out “Daddy loves you! Daddy love you!” as we both rode on a crescendo of passion.

****

Meanwhile I’ve been seeing S17 every night. Her personality needs a lot of work, but she has been improving. A few nights ago she tried to throw a cold-shoulder mood at me because she assumed that my chatting with potential interns was me chatting with girls. I ignored her ignoring for a few hours and fell asleep, but when I awoke in the middle of the night and she was still on the other side of the bed, I kicked her out. Drove her home in the middle of the night. She has no business visiting me if she’s going to just use our time together to give me some emotionally abusive mood. I’ve done such maneuvers many times with her, for any bad behavior. As of today we were kissing passionately each of the 8 times we have had sex so far. She has been kissing me warmly many times today, and is all over me as we rest. We are both warming up nicely to each other, and it’s a dramatic change over her much cooler heart of several months ago.

S17 is a good example of how passion – true physical lusty passion – can be cultivated in a woman. How value is not always shown all at once, through height and looks. A girl can over time not only open up in love, but open up in lust, as she sees you as more and more valuable. Value can come in many forms, and what to a girl is a “high value man” that deserves every outward show of affection and care and attentive lust is a complicated calculation that continues to calculate over time, and over time that calculation feeds raw data to raw emotions.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Change, uncertainty, ritual, meaning, business, friendship and lovers.

Posted by xsplat on March 5, 2015

Dan left yesterday.

It’s only the second time in my life I’ve felt heartbreak regarding a male companion.

A few months ago there were 7 of us here. Aaron arrived in August, Dan in December, J and T in January, and a few of Aarons buddies were scoping out our scene for two weeks in January. We had some amazing adventures together, and every day held a new flavor of celebration. Life at it’s best, and we were all keenly aware of it, and said so to each other nearly every day.

Aaron was pulling hot girls as often as he wanted – which was often. One of his two UK buddies was at least as skilled, and would bring girls over here from the local club and fuck them in our outdoor living room regularly. We had a group guided trek up a local volcano in the middle of the night, all of us tripping on mushrooms which was literally a peak experience. The guys would regularly go clubbing together while I stayed home with one of my regulars, and Dan, J and T all did well with the local girls.

Our conversations were so engaging that we often regretted not having recorded them to publish as podcasts.

Then J suddenly announced he would be leaving. He’d decided to go get a steady job to pay down some heavy debts. He was airborn the next day. Only a few days later I decided that I did not work well with T, and told him so. T is a smart guy and was well liked, but there was conflict on a task, and I didn’t want to risk a future pattern of disagreement. In this co-operative venture there is a chain of command, and I took the most drastic means to maintain it. He was scheduled for a trip to Singapore in a few days to renew his visa, and I accepted his offer to not return.

We were down to three, but it was a good core group. Me, Aaron, and Dan. We get along great, and it’s always a pleasure to see any of them arrive at the villa, and to arrive back to the villa when any is there. Greetings are genuinely warm; celebratory even.

Business progress had been slow, largely in part to the loose working schedule. We’d put more importance on bonding as a group and on lifestyle then on regular deliberate and scheduled business efforts. We worked when we wanted to, usually on our own, and didn’t put in anything close to regular office hours. As a group starting several new businesses we acted as if we were inspired by Tim Ferriss’s Four Hour Work Week. And in Bali we were living the dream. On my dime. After taking on the expense of building a new compound, hiring new local staff as well as housing and feeding and paying monthly expenses for all the new interns, not seeing much business progress let alone a rise in income was stressful. Sure, I like the guys company, and yes, I have long term confidence in the projects, but are we going about this the right way? Am I paying for not much more than companionship?

And then yesterday Dan started an uneasy topic while we were playing ping pong. He mentioned that he’d been feeling home sick.

I nearly asked him right away if he was leaving, but played it off as a passing emotion, and helped him talk in and around his emotions, hoping to talk him completely out of them. But no. His mind was made up. In fact he’d made plans with his brothers to hike the Rocky Mountain range. They may be in the wilderness for as long as 7 months.

Dan explained that he was not prone to feeling homesick. Unlike myself, as a kid in camp he never felt that emotion. I was surprised to hear he missed home at all, as he had seemed so enthused about being here that every day he seemed outright jubilant. It seemed to me as if he’d found his place in a brave new exciting world. He has a rare quick wit combined with a sensitive spirit and an outrageously gregarious extroverted personality. A guy who made playing ping pong seem like a world championship between titans, even when cheering from the sidelines as a spectator. And the night before leaving he’d bedded a local hottie. But he complained of her being intellectually boring, and I suspect a big reason for him feeling homesick might have to do with parallel feelings. He must be wanting that deep connection that we get from family. That’s a connection that I like to make with my girls – I make family out of them. He’s not a skirt chaser and wants more than one night stands. Perhaps he couldn’t see the girls he’d met here as worthy of familial bonds.

Dan found a flight the same day he broke the news, and left that evening.

I’ve had lots of guys tell me that they want to come out here, but in the end they get cold feet. One guy flat out told me that coming out was as intimidating as the first day of kindergarten, and so he couldn’t do it. Dan was a rare guy in that he was willing to make the big leap and come out here at all, but even then the change was too stressful to maintain, and he wanted to go back to his roots.

Yesterday I had the plan to author a post about a job offer out here. Instead of seeking an internship that can lead to a partnership, the plan would be to offer a paid position for a specific task. But when I write I always wait for certainty. I wait until I know all the ideas are ready to come out, and they come out at once in a flood, as fast as my nimble fingers can type. But my process is also honest. Autobiographical even. I can’t write about anything that I don’t feel, so I’m not about to write a pumped up inspirational post about all the incredible benefits of joining in the team and following the dream if I’m not personally feeling pumped up and inspired.

I love life out here, and don’t want to be anywhere else. I love the projects I’m working on, and don’t want to be working on any others. I believe in what I’m doing, and I know that with the right team we can all exceed even our very large expectations. We are at the beginnings of greatness, and having a hell of a time even being at that beginning.

But the story is not only about hope and inspiration.

It’s also about doubt.

And so that is what this blog post has to be about.

This isn’t a blog post about inspiring people to follow my vision, and to join my team, and together to realize financial greatness, male comraderie and explore sexual and romantic adventures with tourists and local Indonesians. This is a blog post about about what stops people from being able to do that.

Most people are not built for adventure and change. There is evidence that some of us have “the wanderers gene”, which affects dopamine receptors and makes us prone to seek out novelty. But even so we all find comfort in familiarity. We create order and structure out of our chaotic lives, and find such comfort in the stability that it’s the human condition to prefer the comfort of the known, even when the known is not comfortable.

But we can’t avoid change anyway.

I want stability also, but no matter how much I seek it, stability is naturally temporary. I have to assume this is the human condition.

I’m very relationship oriented, and always have been. Nearly every post on this blog is about relationships with girls. Naturally I’ll use relationships as metaphors for broader life issues. So when I think of stability and feeling at home, I think of the family that I create, wherever I am, with my girls.

When I click with a girl, whenever we are together, no matter where we are, we are home. We are each others family, and we belong together. There is no one else we want to be with, and therefore no where else we want to be. Our primary conditions for happiness are met. Sometimes I feel that way near all the time with a girl, sometimes the bulk of the time. Regardless, that feeling of being home with my family doesn’t last forever. People change, relationships change. I want something new and find it, or the girl cheats, or more usually I step out first then the girl gives herself permission to do the same.

A month ago I had M and N19 and the newer Sally18 were out here in Bali, but my passion for M has cooled and she’s back in Java now. Also I have less mood for N, again, and see her little lately. There is a new virgin girl I’m dating, and there is much about her that I like, but it’s questionable whether I’ll find a strong physical passion for her. I recall once being in love with a teenager in Thailand whom I didn’t prefer to fuck. She was a virgin when I met her, and grew a big crush on me. It was odd because she was the girl my heart welled up with love for, however it was a second girl who got my dick hard. Something similar seems to be happening now; eighteen year old Sally is the airhead fluff that I love to scream with, while 22 year old smart and personable V gets the motor sputtering but not really going full out. I’m curious enough to see if that will change. We have plans to give her some tramadol to make breaking her in less painful – tomorrow might be the day. Hope she’s finished her period by then, as she’s leaving to visit her mom for a few weeks the next day.

But today she only again ignited strong romantic feelings and energetic body felt connections, while the dick was often placid. So the feeling of being right on track doing exactly what I want to be doing with a clear vision of how to get where I want to go has shifted towards uncertainty.

S18 is from a town called Bogor. She says that the girls there still marry at about age 17. As virgins. I’m interested in going girl hunting there. I like the idea of virgins, lately. I figure that I’m picky about physical characteristics, but once I find a girl who turns me on, she can turn me on for years, so if I can find a smarter virgin girl who is my type of hottie, my interests and passion would be better placed, and perhaps I’d also start in on a new adventure that includes babies.

I’ve been unsatisfied with many of my local staff lately, including my personal assistant. So it’s been on my mind to fire and try to replace them. Finding good help out here is extremely difficult.

So even my sense of home is now disturbed. I keep my rituals – I go the gym, and I maintain a careful diet. I still have girls who love me; N, and M and S and V all seem to, troublesome as they all can be. But everywhere there is flux.

My health itself is often tenuous. I could go out any month, or I suppose any day.

I’m navigating in a sea of uncertainty.

Whereas before I felt I was holding a GPS in calm waters on a sturdy ocean liner, now I feel I’m on 50 foot sloop with a chart and a sextant on a moon-lit overcast night. I know roughly where I am, and I still know where I want to go. But it will require patience, skill, and craft to navigate.

I’ve had different ideas of what greatness means, throughout my life. In my late teens and early twenties greatness was about being enlightened. Several times in my life greatness was largely about love. Lately greatness is about dramatic financial success, male comraderie, an ongoing chi-kung practice, good health, and young and pregnant hotties who love me.

I suppose we all have somewhat different and changing views of our own idealized personal greatness.

But I also suppose that common to all of us, is that in realizing our goals, we must navigate through uncertainty.

That means not only stepping out of our comfort zones into the unknown, it means not only exploring places that we’ve never been, it means not only developing parts of ourselves we are as yet to be aware are undeveloped. It means not only cultivating bravery. It means not only burning our bridges so that we are forced by necessity to mother the invention of our own future. Not only carefully assessing risk vs reward, and expecting to often wind up accepting the losses that come with risks.

It means making a conscious choice of habit to do all of these willfully and frequently, as a lifestyle. Not as an accident. Not just when the chips are down. As a lifestyle.

The known is soma. Comfort and greatness do not mix. I’d go so far as to say that comfort and a great life can not mix.

A great life is a life peppered with uncertainty, heartbreak, pain, and doubt.

That is deliberately factored right in. It’s not wrong turns or accidents that lead to these things. A strategic life must include them.

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Pimpology for the common man

Posted by xsplat on January 22, 2015

I hear all the time that men in the West can not aspire to healthy, loving, passionate relationships with Western women, because Western women have too much hand and are all fucked in the head.

I hear all the time that guys out west couldn’t perform my manoeuvres or they would get arrested under a false rape or domestic violence charge.

And yet, there are plenty of pimps and hoes in the West.

Yes, there are cultural differences, but the main reason that guys in the West do not even aspire to passionate mutually fulfilling romance is not because of the girls.

It’s because the guys have not built up the required muscles nor learned the rules of the sport of relationship, let alone practiced it. Dealing with girls requires mental muscle memory and fortitude, and as with any training, within the rules you find your art, dexterity, and improv. Men have not built up the muscles and skills because there are no personal trainers or gyms for effective long term game, and precious few modern examples are visible and vocal. Without proper guidance men get ruined in relationships. Do anything the wrong way and you’ll get bad results.

Don’t blame women. Don’t blame the courts. Don’t blame the culture. Pimps ignore all of that. Dealing with women requires hard won skills, and endless personal and inter-personal development.

What kinds of girls become hoes and belong to pimps? All kinds. From what socio-economic background? From all backgrounds. A woman isn’t born a hoe. She has to be converted. Does a pimp worry about being interrogated for regret rapes while he is giving the girl the bait and switch? There is a term called pimp-hand. Are pimps worried about domestic abuse laws?

While cultural differences are too obvious to be denied, what is usually denied is the fundamental red-pill realities of cross-cultural female hard wiring. WOMEN respond in a certain way, to certain stimulus, cross culturally. Hoes are converted in the same way globally. They become hugely attached – to the point of wilful slavery, to their pimps. One famous pimp author claims that while some pimps do use occasional violence, the deliberate subjugation of the will of the woman is entirely “a mind game”.

There are many things a man can offer a woman, but one offering most men (even red pill aware men) will deny is this: the skillful application of dominance. Hand.

People think that in SEA girls are more submissive. They are, but they aren’t. SEA is hugely matriarchal. In this society grown men are near universally weak momma’s boys who will ask their mother for permission for who to marry. Westerners who come out here generally date uglier, older, darker broads and wind up pushing the baby stroller. Women are, by nature, every where on this planet built to fight tooth and nail, constantly, for hand and dominance. And they usually, here and every else on this planet, succeed.

But, here, just as everywhere, a woman will respond a certain way to a man who she admires who gives her a combination of hard and romantic fucking who she can not dominate. A woman will always try to dominate. It is not just in the West. And a woman will always react a certain way when she does not dominate. It is not only in the East.

Here are a few examples. A few months ago a teenager approached me through my staff and arranged for a date. We fucked soon after meeting, and started off “the process”. The process includes opening up her sexuality and discovering our unique chemistry. You can’t have strong sexuality without bonding, and so naturally attachments also happen. Nobody has ever fucked her like I fuck her, and she’s used to much less wood, so the sex is cranked up to what for her is 11. She’s a tiny little girl, so it hurts her sometimes, even with lube, but she’s adjusting.

As a female, she considers her sexuality her hand. I’m supposed to only be able to get it from her, and she’s supposed to be able to dole out the scooby snacks as she sees fit, to train me up to be a good doggie.

But as a man my job is to do exactly the same. I want her to only get dick and paternalistic affection and money and security and a warm glow and all things good from me. And I want to be able to use real carrots and real sticks. As well as metaphorical carrots and sticks.

On one of the first dates, she came over to my house and was acting all standoffish. She lay on the bed watching porn on her phone, with the volume cranked up to give-me-attention. Naturally I went over to her and started groping. She shunned my advances by repeatedly swatting away my repeated gropings.

The deliberate tease was annoying – she was saying “See how much power I have over your emotions? I have all the goods and you can’t have any! Nya nya! I get to reject you!”

Whatever. Expressionless, I moved away and started practicing the contemplative art of eyes open chi-kung. She wouldn’t stand to be ignored and tried to continue with her game. So she comes over and starts pinching my nipples, grinding on me, and reaching into my pants. I again reach behind for a quick one handed bra unfastening. Again she rebuffs me.

The tease is starting to get on my nerves, so I head off to the can. As I’m walking out the bedroom door she calls out “no sex tonight!”

Still keeping the lid on my temper, I calmly tell her to go home. The date is over for the night.

She refuses.

I carry her out the door.

She fights me and clings to me and won’t be thrown out. It’s impossible to close a door on a girl who is fighting her way back into the room, and so I threw her across the piano conservatory through the arch into the next hallway. The aim was good so she didn’t flail into the door jamb. I close the door before she can make it back in the room.

She stands out there begging and crying and sending me text messages for 30 minutes, saying she is sorry, that it was only a joke, and can she please come back in. I reply a few times no, and to go back home, and then call up the maid and the handy-man to remove her from the premises.

The next day she lambastes me with sms invective; I’m such a bad, mean man, to treat a poor little innocent girl that way! I fucking rip into her hard. I call her out for having a heart as cold as a reptile, for being un-affectionate, for not giving head. She tries again and again to paint me as a bad man, and instead of apologizing I rip into her more; she should not fight a man and expect to win. She should have gone home when I asked her.

She tells me that she never wants to see me again, but I know better. I knew what would happen next. I knew she would not only be back, but be back a better woman.

Women don’t come off the shelf ready, any more than puppies do. You have to train them. Women aren’t puppies though; they come pre-conditioned. They are more like wild prairie horses. But even a wild mare can be broken and trained.

My super small Sally is now an affectionate little bundle of girl. She gives me massages and cuts my toenails, unprompted.

But today was another opportunity for discipline. I’ve given her an apartment here in Bali, and went over unannounced to pick her up this afternoon. She saw that as an opportunity for some passive aggression in order to put me in my place, and dawdled. “Hurry up, let’s go!” “Where are we going?” “Out. Come on.” Dawdle dawdle dawdle. Dawdle finding her shoes, dawdle lacing up the left shoe, dawdle lacing up the right one. Finally she is all put together and ready, and I keep telling her to go out the door. She keeps telling me to go out the door first, and is cranky that I walked into her room in my dirty sandles. Over and over I tell her to go out the door, and then she wanders over to stand in front of the mirror, to play with her look.

I tell her that I’m going. Now. I walk at a casual pace to my bike. Put on my helmet. Start it up. Rev it. Honk the horn a few times. Slowly drive out. She stands in the door dawdling. So I leave.

I answer her many texts with only “You were too slow. I’ve gone out.”

There are many reasons that I have three girls all pursuing me and fucking me every day. They all have options. But there are reasons that year after year I’m still seen as the best option.

I’m a high value man for many reasons. Finances. Power as the boss over my group of Western and local staff. Chi-kung sex. Paternal affection. Wise life guidance. Strong genuine loving romance. There are all those marks of a high value man, and more.

But leaving her at her apartment today was one of the most valuable things she can get from a man, and one of the most rare.

Discipline.

In the next post I’ll talk about how providing the whole gestalt of high value manliness, including provisioning, social access, great sex, fun, loving romance, and discipline, work together to increase real sexual attraction. There is a lot of confusion about “alpha fucks/beta bucks” and “negotiated desire” that needs to be cleared up. Real sexual desire is measurable, and studies have been done about what arouses it. Some aspects of sexual attraction have cues that are behavior based (dominance and social skills), some have cues that are based on the behavior of others towards you (social proof and status), and some are purely looks based (height, muscles, and facial symmetry). The dominance aspect is gigantically undervalued, as it relates to successful long term relationships. In order to maximize ones potential for successful and mutually satisfying LTRs, a man MUST learn the fine arts of dominance.

Another teaser for the next post; I’ll be talking about alternating between taking away a womans free will and giving it all back to her.

Update: I visited her several hours later, and neither of us mentioned a word of what happened. We drove through heavy rain to a mall, had some ice cream then I sent her off to buy me some clothes. After that several passionate sex sessions, and she not only was more into kissing than ever before, but put in some new sexual efforts. That’s all the obvious and expected outcome.

Note that there was never any nagging or complaining. I prefer not to use a lot of words; I’m not pleading my case. Real actions and real consequences. Most of what needs to be expressed is done through body language and vocal tone. I have expectations from her, and my entire demeanour KNOWS that she will fulfill my expectations. Of course I would settle for nothing less! What kind of man would? And of course, that has an effect.

Even simple expectations, such as that she should wear a sexy dress whenever we go out, and wrap her arm around my elbow set the frame and reverberate. One expectation leads into the next, until she expects of herself to cook for me.

Regular readers will remember these old tried and true tricks, and may wonder if the game becomes rote and so loses it’s magic. Not to me it doesn’t. I allow myself to be affected by her becoming affected. I really love love and bonding, and the fact that love is temporary and illusory takes away none of it’s pleasure. Love is one aspect of the mutual pleasure of sex, and vice versa. And a girl doesn’t have to be a special snowflake to inspire delicious emotions from me. Feminine and hot goes a long way.

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Self hypnotic lies are valuable, but truth is best if you can handle it.

Posted by xsplat on January 12, 2015

This post was written by redpillbanana and can be seen at the red pill reddit

“A harmful truth is better than a useful lie.” -Thomas Mann


The Useful Lie

Some of the advice given on TRP can be classified as a ‘useful lie’. It’s useful in that if you believe it, generally good results will happen. It’s a lie in that it is not always or necessarily true.

Examples of useful lies on TRP:

  • Height/race/looks/riches don’t matter, it’s all about your physical build/mental dominance
  • It’s your fault – “We can all be great if we just believe that we can be, and everyone will believe that we are great when we’re following through with our responsibilities to be great Men”

Tony Robbins (who I’m not the biggest fan of, but he often makes good points) said, “Achievers tend to believe that no matter what happens, whether it´s good or bad, they created it. If they didn’t cause it by their physical actions, maybe they did by the level and tenor of their thoughts. Now, I don´t know if this is true. Scientist have found no evidence supporting the idea that thoughts can create reality. But it´s a useful lie. This belief gives you control. That´s why I choose to believe in it.”

More general examples of useful lies:

  • There’s nothing you can’t do or achieve (counterpoint: if you’re 150cm tall, you’re not likely to make it in the NBA)
  • Nothing can stop you or hold you back (counterpoint: all it takes is one bullet)
  • Hard work and commitment always lead to success (counterpoint: many people work hard and never make it, others don’t work at all and have it all handed to them)

As you can see, these useful lies are common memes in our society, especially a ‘self-made man’ society like the USA. They can be powerful tools and can propel you to new heights if used properly.


Why Useful Lies Can Be Counterproductive

I’ll focus on the “It’s your fault” useful lie since it encompasses almost all the other useful lies.

“It’s your fault” is a lie because there are many factors in the world that are outside your control.

Examples of things that are not your fault:

  • You were born deformed, extremely short, or with a very unattractive face and people don’t respond well to you.
  • Drunk driver hits your car and kills many of your family members and you have a hard time motivating yourself as a result.
  • Your dad beat you to within an inch of your life every day until you turned 16 and it causes you pain and anger every day.
  • Your uncle molested you when you were young and you have trouble with sexual relationships to this day.
  • You contracted a rare cancer that leaves you unable to move normally.
  • When you turned 21, a huge economic slowdown happened that lasted for 20 years and you still have a tough time staying afloat.

Many of these things can be overcome with willpower and determination (see the story of Nick Vujicic for an incredible example), but taking responsibility for things outside your control can lead to unnecessary hurt and anger. This fictional but relevant scene from Good Will Hunting illustrates the point.

Sometimes you need to accept that things are not your fault in order to stop beating your head against a wall. This acceptance might lead you to working around your limitations rather than futilely working though them.


A Better Approach

A better approach is the cold, hard truth – knowing your exact situation, who you are, what you are capable of, and what your limitations are and how you can work around them. Generally, the more capable you are, the more important it is to be truthful about yourself, e.g. top athletes routinely have to work around their limitations vs. their competition.

A good approach advocated by the Stoics and Stephen Covey is to separate everything into two groups: things you can control and things you can’t control. Then focus on the things you can control. Eventually, as your influence and expertise grows, the group of things you can control will grow larger.

A TRP example:

  • You can’t control how women are wired – this was developed over billions of years of evolution, thus you can’t negotiate desire.
  • You can’t control the cultural forces that support the promiscuity and hypergamy of women, unless you become a cultural leader, thus don’t try to evangelize TRP.
  • You can control your response by learning the rules and adapting to the situation. Focus on that.

Ultimately, the choices you make and your responses in all situations will determine what your life will become. Viktor Frankl said it best when he said that “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” This is what separates us from the animals – we can choose our response to most stimuli.

By recognizing the useful lie as a tool that can be discarded when inappropriate, by relentlessly seeking the hard truth and stamping out rationalizations, and by knowing your strengths and weaknesses and what you can improve and what you can’t, you’ll have the greatest chance of making the right choices, and the greatest chance of success in all your endeavors.

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Finding the 3rd Key to Masculine Fulfillment in Bali

Posted by Dan Diaphon on December 25, 2014

Well, where to begin?

Months of anticipation, a journey lasting 2 full days… and now, I had arrived.

From our previous online conversations I already had a strong sense that Aaron and I would hit it off, which we did from my very first night here that we spent up on the rooftop talking and taking in the city.

The topics ranged widely, as is to be expected when those with a broad knowledge base meet; the highlights included gamifying life as well as the palpable feeling of freedom that can come with being out of the western world.

 

And as for meeting X for the first time?

It was surprising.

As Aaron introduced us and I shook his hand there were 2 things that struck me – his compact athletic frame and his positive, zen aura that imbues whichever room he is in.

This was instantaneous and happened before he’d even said “hi”.

After X gave me the tour of all 7 floors we parted – he to fuck whichever girl was over that night (I still don’t quite have all their names straight) and I to drop off my stuff in my expansive room, then up to the roof with a beer.

That was it.
No questioning.
No “so, how was your flight?” smalltalk.
Our entire initial meeting didn’t even fill a half-hour.

I wasn’t offended, and I wasn’t really relieved, but it was odd.

Later I concluded that I found it odd was because I was comparing it to the normal way that normal people interact.

X is not normal. But you, dear reader, probably already know that.

Over the following week we had several one-on-one conversations while Aaron was in Singapore taking care of some business. I quickly realized that, although seemingly aloof at times, when a conversation really began in earnest with him, they usually morphed into free-flowing idea sessions that only ended when interrupted by an appointment.

 

So, what can I say overall?

Just this, I have found 2 other men who have both the innate intelligence coupled with red-pill knowledge required that has resulted in me never again having to wonder, “will I ever find some guys who just get it?”

That question no longer exists for me.

I have found the 3rd key to masculine fulfillment: high-quality male companions.

It’s incredible, and I hope you find the same…

Happy Holidays,

Dan Diaphon

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Making love requires high level cognitive development

Posted by xsplat on December 19, 2014

So many things can go wrong for a developing brain.

And in order to maximize brain development, so many aspects of what it can do need to be trained up in concert.

Women have evolved to be able to quickly spot signs of physical and mental fitness. Now a lot of guys think that women don’t chose well; they are attracted to stupid brutes, and their choices can harm society.

And while it’s true that women don’t chose who to fuck based on math ability, it’s not right that the evolved instinctual preferences are stupid.

Let’s list again a few of the neuro-developmental problems that women quickly pick up on and quickly find unattractive:

  • Autism spectrum disorders
  • Atypical empathic responses as social deficits (sociopaths can be charming and display above average empathic ability)
  • Cluster A personality disorders, including
    • Paranoid personality disorder:  irrational suspicion and mistrust of others, interpreting motivations as malevolent.
    • Schizoid personality disorder: lack of interest and detachment from social relationships, apathy, and restricted emotional expression.  Schizoid personality disorder is sometimes called Dismissive–avoidant attachment style, and refers to people who don’t want to emotionally bond with a mate.
    • Schizotypal personality disorder: extreme discomfort interacting socially, and distorted cognitions and perceptions.
  • Cluster B dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders such as Antisocial personality disorder: disregard for and violation of the rights of others, lack of empathy, bloated self-image, manipulative and impulsive behavior.
    • Borderline personality disorder: instability in relationships, self-image, identity, behavior and affects often leading to self-harm and impulsivity.
    • Histrionic personality disorder: attention-seeking behavior and excessive emotions.
    • Narcissistic personality disorder: a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Sometimes narcissists get an initial edge in the dating market when compared to dweebs, but after their masks are seen through, they get a major disadvantage over people with more sophisticated neuro-development; girls break up with narcissists. Narcissism is less of a disadvantage for pump and dump, but is a death blow to long term relationships. And even for pump and dump it’s less effective than a well rounded confident developed persona.
  • Cluster C anxious or fearful disorders, such as
    • avoidant personality disorder: pervasive feelings of social inhibition and inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation.
    • Dependent personality disorder: pervasive psychological need to be cared for by other people.
    • Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (not the same as obsessive-compulsive disorder): characterized by rigid conformity to rules, perfectionism, and control to the point of satisfaction and exclusion of leisurely activities and friendships.

Skills that women find attractive that point to high communication between various functions of the brain:

  • Dancing.  Dancing coordinates body and mind and emotions, plus requires being in simpatico with your dance partners. The best dancing requires being able to experience flow moments.
  • Playing music, especially in a band.  Again coordinates body and mind and emotions, and the best music always involves flow moments.  Being in a band requires simpatico and coordination with others.
  • Sports.  Body mind and strategy coordination, and team sports requires extra social ability to read and respond to your groups signals.
  • Leadership.  Being socially comfortable at all is a high level skill that requires a well developed brain, however actually being seen of as a leader, and being effective at it is a display of many high level skills functioning effectively, over time.

And finally:

  • Love.  I’ve heard so many stories of people meeting impressive people, and instantly being captivated by the force of their open love.  In my own life I’ve chosen mentors based in large part on this amazing ability.  My Grandmother was an incredible force of love, and my Father was a powerful man too.  Love is a very high level skill, that requires tremendous neuro-development.  Buddhists train for decades and decades in order to be able to open in love.  And it really shows.  It not only has a dramatic effect on personal happiness and well being, but provides a  social edge – people are immediately affected by the force of interpersonal openness.

I remember the first few times that I had sex, I was stuck in the narrative in my head.  I was not embodied.  There was what I considered as “me”, this storyline, running along in my head who thought that it controlled my body like strings control a puppet.

I was not integrated.  I was divided up into pieces.  If there were emotions, I’d often struggle with them.  It wasn’t that I was happy or sad or angry or horny, it was that emotions were impinging upon me.  It got so extreme at times that it was closer to the truth to say that I was hearing voices in my head than that I was having thoughts.  My self was disjointed.  I was not embodying emotions, and was forever separate even from the contents of my own mind and body.

So of course I could not meld into my lover.  I could not even meld into myself!

Nowadays when I have sex, it might start out as mechanical, but quickly becomes genuinely spiritual.  I am finely tuned in to my own bodies sensations, in a non-dual way – I embody them, while at the same time having control over them.  Just like being into and singing a song – you can control the mood and tempo of the music, but you are IN the music.  I may be subtly squeezing and releasing my perineum, while feeling energy in a ball below that and through my legs and below my feet, while simultaneously feeling a big pond of hot sex lava in my belly, while simultaneously having a heart so full of love that it fills my whole chest and spills down my arms to warm up my palms, while at the same time having energy up my spine and into my third eye, while at the same time breathing energies in and out of the top of my head, while at the same time screaming my head off in high pitched squeals, or low forceful grunts, or soft repetitive cooings.

And the whole time I am so finely tuned into my lovers signals, that if she approaches orgasm I don’t notice it at all; instead I FEEL it.  In my own body I FEEL her approaching orgasm, and my own pleasure increases dramatically.  In fact if I’m not warmed up it will be difficult not to come myself.  But if I’m in my full flow moment, her sex feeling and mine combine, and we both know it and both feel it, and the power and energy rises and rises, and is mixed with erotic force and love.

Making love is a high level orchestration of mind and body, and requires great neuro-development.  It’s an ongoing development – there is no end to the sophistication possible.

Posted in Happiness, LTR Game, Meditation, Sex Chikung & Kundalini, tantric, Uncategorized | 12 Comments »

It’s all one game – even the heartbreak and rejections – that IS the game.

Posted by xsplat on December 10, 2014

Unbowed had some interesting discussions during a meetup with Krauser, and took away this insight:

I asked Nick about stoicism and being unemotional as that’s always bugged me in regards to inner game. He explained that while a cornerstone of game is emotional mastery, you will still feel highs and lows, it doesn’t matter if you’re a newbie or a veteran. Opening has an emotional cost. Rejection has a sting. An SDL has a euphoric feeling. And regardless of this emotional roller coaster, it does not matter. There’s no inherent meaning or grand purpose to any of this. It’s just a game. But make no mistake, you will feel the highs and lows. The minute you stop feeling means you’re out of the moment. If you’re not feeling both the flak and the bliss and everything in between, then you’re not in the game. Sure the intensity will differ depending on individual variables, but it boils down to feeling. The mastery comes where you can make a decision in spite of the emotions. I found it to be a subtle but notable distinction.

I was thinking something quite similar last night. My Beauty Queen had invited me to visit for four days, as her family will be out of town and so she can sleep over, but then the next day she begged off with some lame excuse.

At first I was philosophical about it. I’ve got other girls I’m into, and am developing a pipeline. I allowed myself the pain of acknowledging that she’s an 8 who is a screamer, and that’s going to take a wide pipeline to replace. Walking over to one of my girls places I was still thinking about her, and my heart hurt. So I just let it hurt, and emobodied it, and felt it. Not just let it wash over me, but let that be what I was doing and being – embody it in the same way you might embody a song you are really into and singing. And it occurred to me that while that’s pain, that IS the game.

That IS what dating is. That’s it. It’s these waves of pleasure and pain. If you can’t feel the pain, you can’t properly play the game. You won’t be able to effectively seduce, and you won’t be able to really feel the bliss and the joy.

All night long even in my sleep and dreams I was heartbroken, and woke up feeling down.

And I also had a great evening with my long time lover.

And I was also cranky at another lover for leaving town for a few days without permission.

And that’s it. That IS the game.

It isn’t winning a contest over your emotions. It isn’t only feeling pleasure. It’s the whole thing. That’s the game – you can’t win at dating uless you date, and you can’t date unless you feel, and you can’t feel unless you really feel – all the pleasure and all the pain.

I explain something like this to new lovers I meet. I let them know that I’ve often felt extreme heartbreak. Sometimes I’ll use the example of my dead lover; it’s very easy to empathise with such a wrenching loss for people, and there is no sidetrack into stories of who left who for what reason. I let it be known that while I feel heartbreak deeply, that it’s no excuse not to live life fully. I hate it as much as anyone else – pain is pain. But I’m not afraid of it.

I don’t let it stop me.

It’s the game. The whole game. It’s part of the whole thing.

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The battle of the sexes won’t be waged the same way ever again

Posted by xsplat on December 9, 2014

When people see how feminism has been changing culture, they then naturally try to envision the future; how will things develop. But never do I hear of future projections that take into account the wild card of technological change.

Society follows upon opportunity, and opportunity follows upon technology.

Agrarian technology ushered in dramatic social changes. The industrial revolution ushered in more. The pill and the service economy ushered in more. The internet more still.

If we could forecast that there will not be any more major socially disrupting new technologies, then we can try to peer into our horizons. But I don’t see that as likely at all.

We are going to start to see some very major technological shifts that will dramatically change culture, in ways far more profound than feminism ever has.

Genetic engineering of ourselves and offspring, surgical remolding as well as biological grafts, computer implants, and yes, even the borg.

If you are looking 60 years into the future and not even thinking about technology then you are thinking that history is cyclical.

Technology is not cyclical.

History is not cyclical.

Social changes are not cyclical.

I’m old enough to have lived pre internet and pre cell phone. Nobody imagined our current future. It was a surprise.

We will have surprises FAR more disruptive on society than feminism.

Adapt or don’t. If people think they have witnessed big cultural shifts, and are hoping for things to swing back around, they’ve got it ALL wrong.

We aint seen nothin yet.

The changes have only barely begun.

Sex robots. Resource wars that could impact our physical safety and use unfamiliar weapons, such as bio-tech, micro-drones, and autonomous robots.

Mind controlling implants and microbes. Brain upgrades.

Even in the last few years facebook and tinder have changed society. Forty years ago that was not a prediction.

Forty years from now the battle of the sexes will be held on a vastly different landscape. What having a baby even means will be vastly different; genes will no longer be a matter of paternity and maternity alone.

And the effect of native genes will be vastly different. We will be altering our own genetic makeup after being born. As well as our appearance, and organs, and senses, and even how our very brains and thought processes function.

Society will be connected up in new ways we have never imagined.

People think sexting is an issue. Brain-wifi all-senses connected international sex orgy anyone? What is your chosen avatar?

My point of injecting this pragmatic uncertainty into the dialog is to point out that in order to live strategically, our short and medium term goals must include working with the system as it is. Our long term goals should include being in the best possible position to adapt. And that for me means increasing wealth as much as possible.

Nowhere is it pragmatically useful to plan for a future in which the battle of the sexes continues to be waged in our current technological landscape.

That present is ALREADY the past. The present is history. This landscape won’t be where the battle happens.

It will be a DIFFERENT battle.

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

Why it’s “rape” if the woman is drunk, but not the reverse

Posted by xsplat on December 9, 2014

Comment from Johnycomelately at Rollo’s blog

Kanazawa is the preeminent redpill researcher out there, he has been pilloried to kingdom come and kicked off every site he wrote for (most notably Psychology Today) because of his redpill research.

Here’s an exert from a response to a critic.

“When it comes to intersexual selection, the law states that the sex that invests less into the offspring is sexually more aggressive, and the sex that invests more is sexually more choosy and coy (Trivers 1972). This means that, among most mammalian species (including all primates), the female is more choosy than the male, and thus sex and mating become a female choice (Kirkpatrick 1987; Small 1993).

There is by now a significant amount of evidence to demonstrate that men lek (conspicuously display their genetic quality) and women choose from among the available men.

If sex and mating were a male choice, how is a regular copulation different from rape? Why is rape so traumatic and devastating to women if it is no different from a regular copulation (Thornhill & Thornhill 1983)? Rape is so traumatic and devastating to women precisely because that is the only time when a sexual copulation is not a female choice. All the other instances of sexual intercourse are treated and perceived differently because they are always a female choice. ”

Men lek (display) and females choose, all game is based on improving or imitating high value lekking.

Anything that violates fully informed female choice, whether by inducing self delusion, mimicking, omission, deception, contriving or guile is seen as rape by a low status male. Drunken sex is viewed as the removal of capacity to choose and therefore rape.

That is why being ‘tricked’ or ‘taken advantage of’ seems to be so prevalent in female discourse, I guess that is why game is so villified.

The hysteria isn’t about genuine rape but the innate fear of having sex with low value men, the prevalence of ‘game’ simply adds to the hysteria.

As Whisky used to say, “Women hate hate hate betas.” And sex with a low value man is akin to rape.

and boomerick wrote:

Feminist Rape Culture is the female ego defensive idea that, for every woman, no matter how unappealing they might be, all men on some level desire her, to the point of her fantasizing that all men could loose control and act violently against their natural male protective instinct, societal conditioning, and legal penalty threat to “have” her (she’s THAT important). The affected woman can enter into every situation/ transaction throughout her every day assuring herself of her own desirability even though most likely she’s not even noticed or wanted (she’s truly insignificant and unimportant). It’s over compensation for basic female insecurity. The amount of solipsism pushing this “culture” is staggering.

Johnycomelately again:

The rape hysteria also has a deeper motive, equalitarianism (high taxes and social distribution) has changed the economic ecology and altered the incentives for female bonding patterns.

Several economists and anthropologists contend that society is transitioning from monogamy to serial monogamy (serial polygyny).

For serial polygyny to be facilitated women require absolutely unfettered, unrestricted, unconditional, uncommitted, unrestrained, unmoralizing, independent and completely free and unqualified safe access to sexual free choice. Unbounded by contracts, agreements, social norms, moral restraints, religious injunctions, social ties, aesthetic norms, maternal obligations, infanticide (abortion), selling progeny (adoption) and economic restrictions.

Anything that is deemed as restrictive is seen as limiting this choice, male spaces, employment obstacles, undesirable attention, unsafe neighbourhoods, male aesthetic standards, religion and of course RAPE.

What we are seeing is ‘choice hysteria’, anytime someone somewhere restricts female sexual choice it is met with unbounded fury. Even centuries long legal precedents and wrongful inprisonment must acquiesce to facilitate free choice.

Here are some quotes showing we are transitioning to serial polygyny.

Murdock’s (1967) Ethnographic Atlas categorized just 16% of 862 cultures as exclusively monogamous, with polygamy being found at some level in the rest.

A 2011 study from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that just 23% of women and 14.7% of men aged 25-44 had one (or zero) opposite-sex lifetime partners.

Frank Marlowe, Biological Anthropology – Cambridge
When males provide all the income but some have much more than others, richer males achieve polygyny, while ecologically imposed monogamy prevails in case of moderate inequality. When males provide an intermediate level of investment with little variation, females are not excessively dependent on males and serial monogamy may arise.

David de la Croix, Professor of Economics
In a society with few rich males and virtually no rich females, polygyny is supported by rich males, who can naturally monopolize a larger number of partners, and poor females, who prefer to be the n-th wife of a rich male rather than marrying a poor male monogamously.
Eventually, however, the number of rich males increases enough, and poor females prefer to marry monogamously.
Serial monogamy follows from a further enrichment of the society, through a rise in either the share of rich males, or the the proportion of rich females.

Monique Mulder, Anthropology
A key finding here is that while men do not benefit from multiple marriages, women do. Although the data are very variable (large standard errors), women appear to gain more from multiple mating than do men.

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Project World Domination update #1

Posted by Aaron Sollesse on December 5, 2014

A lot has happened since I last posted.

In summary team size has doubled, two new money making machines are almost complete, sales are rising, plus we have a new office, villa and we’re now building a compound in Bali to host our growing team.

Bali compound

Early draft of the new Bali compound

As a result of our last call to action four Westerners are arriving in December to Bali. There will be fun adventures, sexy girls, discussions about life and creation of businesses.

Things here on the ground are developing swiftly. Lots of training new staff and heavily developing our business infrastructure to build a sustainably scaleable company, whilst pushing forward with conversion optimisation and lots of R&D.

Things are exciting here but I want to talk about something else today that isn’t often discussed.

People all the time write about how to improve your game, wealth, health, etc. but people seem to forget the best growth accelerator – a mentor.

How to Get a Mentor

I’ve often seen content about the benefits of mentorship but very little on what it takes to actually get a mentor.

The most important fundamental factor is: Give Life-Changing Value.

And the reason why this topic is neglected so much is because fundamentally most people are too selfish – they focus way too much on what they want and too little on what other people want.

For example I could have focused only on my own desires to relax, eat good food and meet girls 24/7 whilst out here with X. But instead I’ve taken on the role of Chief Operations Officer to manage all current businesses and personnel, as well as R&D on new projects, developing our business systems plus hiring and training new staff.

I’ve been busy as hell but I’m giving life-changing value – X now has more free time and less stress since he knows that I’m on top of everything. And I’m more than happy to do this because that’s what mentorship is all about.

You’re there to learn something valuable from them and this is the experience you need to be successful. In return you give your mentor life-changing value and this completes the Value Cycle. The value you give is the value you gain.

Giving value is fundamental to getting a mentor, so how can we make sure we’re giving life-changing value?

The 3 Keys for Giving Life-Changing Value

The first key is: Find out their primary goal. Once you know exactly why a person does everything they do, it makes it much easier to then deliver life-changing value to them.

For example the subheadline ‘How to Get a Mentor’ is based on this principle, as I’m offering you value in the form of accelerated success (a primary goal). But if this had instead been titled ‘How to Be a Good Mentee’ you would have been far less interested because it doesn’t immediately appear like life-changing value to you.

Persuasive copywriters ensure they speak always in terms of benefits, particularly drilling down to the primary benefit e.g. success. Becoming a good mentee to then attract a good mentor in order to become successful is much more indirect, thus less impactful. It’s a secondary goal.

As a personal example I can say that X has more interests than I can count in various industries, hobbies, science, technology, etc. Whenever I talk about something new I learned he already researched it 20 years ago. He’s a complex man but as I know the underlying motivation behind all of his intellectual pursuits, I know what value he most responds to.

This ensures a happy and productive partnership for the long-term. There’s no real shortcut that I know which immediately uncovers this though – it took a while for me to decipher so for any mentor you want to approach, make sure that you do your research thoroughly.

The second key is: Know each other’s strengths and weaknesses

With me and X, I know that by systemising and managing the businesses (my strength) that X has more free time to do what he does best – mastermind. He’s a business genius and comes out with big money making ideas all the time.

I also know that I’m very focused and analytically-minded whilst X thinks about a million things at once and is more creatively-oriented. Only problem is, there’s too many good ideas. We need to focus to get shit done, and I help him channel his energies in that way.

Ying and yang. That’s exactly what you need to be with your mentor. You must harness their strengths and mitigate their weaknesses, whilst doing the same with your own strengths and weaknesses.

And the third key for giving life-changing value: Know the difference between what they want and what they really need.

Let’s go back the subheadline ‘How to Get a Mentor’. You readers here all want success in business, relationships, fitness etc. so I wrote the subheadline tailored to what you want.

But now you’re reading this section I’m giving you what you really need – a slap in the face reminding you to forget about what you want, and instead to focus on giving life-changing value to others.

As a red pill man you can see the differences in numerous places. That 30-year old businesswoman wants to keep climbing the career ladder and riding the cock carousel but really needs to settle down before she hits the wall and becomes infertile. Mr. Beta next door wants to redo his kitchen for his beloved wifey-dearest who’s bored again but he really needs to start working out, stop taking shit and fuck his wife into oblivion. You want to read another blog post but you really need to get off your ass and take action.

Now remember that the whole point of this is to help fulfil their primary goal. So you’ll be looking at their secondary goals which conflict with their primary goals. For example the 30-year old businesswoman needs to drop the secondary goals of short-term pleasure from promotions and one night stands to fulfil her primary goal of long-term fulfilment from a monogamous relationship and babies.

These are all the methods you really need to give life-changing value, the real work is discovering them in the person. In summary the 3 keys for giving life-changing value are:

1) Find out their primary goal

2) Know each other’s strengths and weaknesses

3) Know the difference between what they want and what they really need

Be aware that these keys are needed much more for informal mentorships where you approach someone who isn’t actively looking for a mentee. They’ll make life difficult for you because they don’t want to begin the Value Cycle and mentor you (even though they would gain just as much as you in the process).

Of course, there are formal mentorships where can more easily secure a mentor because you’ll readily discuss each of these 3 keys:

Internships

Although we’re currently taking on lots of new people, we’re always on the lookout for more talented individuals.

Click here for the application form and description of the internship we’re offering. More details there but in short we’re offering 3-month trials with us in Indonesia (all living expenses paid for) and the opportunity for profit sharing past that point.

That’s all for now, looking forward to checking in with you all soon enough on further developments.

~  Aaron Sollesse

P. S. We are also thinking of doing a podcast soon. If we do, what would you like us to talk about? Leave a comment below.

Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments »

LTR game for the ugly man

Posted by xsplat on December 1, 2014

It’s easy to notice that hawt guys have more options. The other day at a restaurant the waitress asked Aaron after our meal “Would you like anything else?” I laughed and commented loudly “notice how she only asked you!” The girl laughed but didn’t even bother to make polite eye contact with me over the joke, and continued looking up with eager puppy dog eyes at Aaron.

When I see a super hot girl, every other girl around her is put into her relative place. They fade into the background or disappear altogether. And when I’m beside Aaron he gets IOS from long distances away, and girls peripheral vision finds him and tunes right in. I’m right beside him and their eyes never even land on me.

But some people think therefore that hawt guys are the only Alphas. That girls reserve genuine desire for them, and that they form an elite top 1% secret society.

That’s not quite true.

True, a hot guy can post up at a bar, and get attention. Even get unsolicited business cards handed to him. And score much more easily with a greater percentage of girls.

A hot guy with game and a well rounded lifestyle who has his shit together is the top elite. He can be a true alpha that many girls want.

But that doesn’t mean that only hot guys get to inspire devoted sexual attention from hot girls.

Alpha does not equal hot, not all hot guys are alpha, and not all alphas are hot.

I’m here in Bali with Aaron now. He has been killing it these last five days – on a liftetime peak streak, using night game. Great girls giving him great treatment.

While for myself it would be useless to use tinder, night game is not appropriate, and I struggle to get a single online date. I have to scratch and scrape for every scrap.

But once I get a girl across the cafe table, I have a very good chance to get her into my room. And once I get her in my room I have a very good chance to fuck her. The conversion rate is high. And whats more is that once I fuck a girl, most of the time she’ll want to be my girlfriend. And whats far more again is that over time she’ll come to treat me like a living god.

So while I can’t get several new girls a week, I can build up a stable of attractive young women who treat me at least as well as the hottest man on earth.

I had a date with a lovely 22 year old virgin last night. She made me laugh. She’s earned a few scholarships and has a bubbly feminine personality. I really like her. Towards the end of the date she flat out told me that I could have her virginity if I gave her some time.

But five days without sex. No masturbation. I’m used to seeing at least two girls a day, every day.

I’m not complaining about not being a hot guy. Yes, I’d prefer it. But you work with what you’ve got. And charm can go a hell of a long way.

Guys underestimate the power of charm. Charm plus being a good lay can convert the hottest of girls. Not as great a percentage of hot girls, but enough to build a stable.

Oh, an update on my beauty queen. Her sister stole her phone so that she could not contact me, and then insisted that I was too old and ugly for her. Then she broke up with me. It took a 40 minute phone call just to get her to accept me to fly up and say one last goodbuy over coffee. Needless to say we were fucking within 40 minutes of meeting again. After that she kept waffling, from being close with me to acting as if she’d never see me again. As of yesterday she asked me if I would be her boyfriend. It’s like landing a prize tuna with a lake trout fishing rod and reel. You can’t just throw your hands up in the air and say “oh, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.” Yes, there are. But there are not plenty of prize tuna on your fishing line. When you get a nibble, land the fish! Even if it takes incredible skill and persistance, land the fish! Oh, and she had originally lied about her age; it turns out she’s got a few months left of being only 17. I know many guys would see the young age as a negative, but I see it a huge positive. I met M when she was the perfectly ripe age of 21, and now she is quite noticeably past her prime at 25. In five years Beauty Queen will only be 22. Even after giving me a child she’ll still be a slim young hottie.

An update on the new 17 that Santa Claus left under the tree after returning back from my first visit to BQ: turns out she just turned 17 a week ago. So I had her for a while at the legal age of 16. The last time I saw her she was being a cock tease, laying on the bed watching loud porn on her cell phone, while preventing me from groping her. When I ignored her to do chi-kung she’d come up and rub on me, only to prevent me from undoing her bra. Then when I ignored her more and went out to the toilet she called out “no sex tonight”. I got pissed off and told her to leave. She refused so I physically threw her out my bedroom door and locked it. She stayed in my shophouse for 30 minutes begging and crying, and I had to get the live in handyman to tell her to go. Needless to say she loves me even more now.

An update on N18. N18 is 19 now. And after not seeing her for a month, I couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t have any other girl in my life who is such an attentive lover. That’s just too valuable to throw away. After one month apart her pussy tightened up considerably. She could never bring her self to believe that I had broken up with her.

An update on M25. M regularly tells me that she loves me. She is a flawed girl, but we do have some bonds. And the sex is a certain kind of food that I can’t get anywhere else. I don’t really feel nourished unless I see her occasionally, at least.

Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

Whirwind date with beauty queen leads to her moving in

Posted by xsplat on October 28, 2014

She’s 18 and I’m crazy about her. I think most people would be.

She’s won a few beauty contests, sings, plays guitar, dances, is a screamer, is polite, loving, romantic, cheerful and emotionally open. An attentive conversationalist who is quick to understand, she reads the subtleties of my face while parsing the words. Strong English and some Spanish. Equal digit ratio and she races motorcycles, no matter how many times she falls down. And that tight fuck-me-body! She’s like me; built for adventure and public sex. And she seems as crazy about me as I am about her.

No resistance from either of us. Just a perfect fit – hand in glove. Just perfect.

I’m going to make her pregnant, and I’d have no qualms about marrying her tomorrow. I’m just crazy about her. She’s not just the prettiest girl in the room, she’s the best girl in the room.

I had to take a four hour flight just to meet her. The plan was to convert her from her evil ways and get her to fall in love. After all, that kind of thing has happened in my life before; five times girls have moved in on the first date.

I have no way to know how much was unconscious skill, and how much was just being myself in the right time in the right place. But not only was it mission accomplished, but she really blew me away. She’s so beautiful I get a little shy looking at her in the face. But she’s a great fuck so I’m getting over the shyness. But it’s not just the pretty face and the sex. She’s a baby making life changing keeper. She’s going to be my mate, companion and super-sexual love slave.

And so this Friday I’ll fly up there again and bring her back. She’s moving in.

I could see her walking around town with a big pregnant belly soon enough.

Meanwhile the virgin is still dawdling around trying to get me to meet her mother. People are different; I don’t need a safe chaste girl who never wants to step foot into a nightclub. I need the girl who is a flight risk, the girl who is difficult to keep. I’m built to catch and keep that kind of girl. A girl who can keep up and then some.

I’ve caused more pregnancies than I have fingers, but I never felt that it was the right mother to invest in. Finding a great mother is really extremely difficult! More so even than a great mate. Not only must the two of you have great chemistry that can last through years and even decades, but she needs great genes and she has to have had a solid, loving upbringing. She needs to be a debutante – an outstanding specimen with good manners and breeding, who can pass on culture as well as her superior stock.

I’ve seen on my fathers side of the family what happens when you breed well. You get a whole family of success, that perpetuates into more good breeding. All my cousins married hot debutantes and have incredible children. My own father was really a great Dad. Some of that must have rubbed off on me; I’ll make a great dad too. And I can see that this girl will be a great parent too; even and cheerful mood, attentive and all around fun. I’ve seen happy families with two solid and happy parents and laughing children. They are damn difficult to put together, but they exist. It starts with getting a top shelf girl. Damn difficult that.

And it’s like business. There are windows of opportunities. A good part of business acumen is just seeing the opportunity and jumping on it before it’s too late. Another part is making a higher probability to be in the right place at the right time. Another part is developing your situation such that you are able to act upon opportunities. Then you get a confluence that leads to a whirlwhind of what appears to be completely easy and natural.

Posted in Uncategorized | 45 Comments »

 
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