I’m bootstrapping a small startup, and so interview for new hires every few days. Every day I spend an hour or two going through applications.
I sometimes come across people who don’t know how to be career oriented. They might stay too long in a job that does not advance their skills, or jump around between unrelated fields, or work at jobs that don’t match their potential. They work at places because they need a job, not in order to advance their career.
I used to be the same way. In Canada you needed to graduate from grade 13 high school in order to go on to university. Grade 12 counted as a High School diploma, and that’s all I got. After that I lounged around the house for most of a year, before getting a series of temp manual labor jobs. I had zero career ambitions. My ambition was to move to a Buddhist mountain retreat or monastery.
But as an employer, I have gained a different perspective. It’s required of me to be able to understand career ambition. I need ambitious employees who want to work near the peak of their potential, and who can grow and learn and develop along with my company, constantly refining their skills to stay relevant and cutting edge in a competitive cut throat marketplace.
Sometimes I’ll look at a resume and see that the person went straight from school into teaching. Or they dabbled in working in their field, before moving into teaching.
Teachers are not useful to me.
You’d think that a teacher of PHP programming would be a great hire if I needed a PHP programmer. It doesn’t work that way. In class, you are teaching the same thing, over and over. You are stuck at the beginners level, by design.
Only in industry are you forced to face novel situations, and only in industry is it adapt now or die. In academia your students can’t easily evaluate the value of your teaching, and unless you have a large faculty specializing in teaching PHP programming, neither will your peers. Even if they cared to.
I once had some specialty chemistry commissioned from a university lab. They were affronted that I demanded a budget, and said that in Academia it doesn’t work like that. They not only resisted, but acted insulted. They explained that they were used to an open ended unlimited budget. It costs what it costs and takes as long as it takes. When I explained that I had to know the costs first before deciding if I wanted to start the project, they acted as if I was insane, and refused to even calculate the cost of materials.
I interviewed a business major and professor recently. He agreed that he had no practical experience at all – all his experience was theoretical and only within the classroom.
Can you learn how to fuck by reading Penthouse and watching porn? Can you learn advanced PHP programming by teaching PHP classes?
School is a preparation for learning how to work hard and consistently against deadlines. It teaches some thinking skills, and some practical knowledge. It is PREPRATORY. After school comes the real training, which occurs on the job.
Companies that hire fresh graduates consciously do so in order to find that one in 10 hire who is the blockbuster of productivity. He won’t know his value, and can be paid much less than the man who spent 10 years carefully honing his skills on a well planned career track. These blockbuster hires make it worth the expense of hiring and training (and usually eventually firing) the other nine.
Fresh graduates are useful if they are extremely talented. Otherwise it usually takes years of focused development before they are good at their job. And this gets reflected in their salary, and in their job title. A Senior PHP developer can earn more than twice as much as a fresh graduate.
Most companies can’t afford to gamble on blockbusters or wait years for their staff to to grow into their potential, and so hire the most experienced and proven staff that they can afford. No amount of university training counts as experience, whether it’s being trained or training others.
I’m writing this post because it’s the perfect metaphor for the act of teaching about relationships between men and women.
If a man is not currently actively dating, and yet is teaching about relationship dynamics, then he is an academic.
Academics do not know that they do not know. Instead they think they know more! Academia is insular and self referential, and this has been an open joke ever since there was academia. Academia and industry are like Penthouse vs Sex.
There are good, and even great academics. And yet we have the saying “Those that can, do. Those that can’t, teach.” If someone is ONLY an academic, even a great academic, then he can’t do. He can’t even know. It’s not possible to be good at any field and ONLY teach about it.
If someone is married, and is trying to explain about relationship dynamics, he is an academic.
I don’t hire academics, because they have chosen the career path of being deliberately stuck. Academics are treading water. They think they have a broader perpsective, by virtue of thinking about things, but are just stuck in a very narrow and limited world. The more they teach the same thing over and over, the more they mistake the map for the territory. Their maps over time become loaded with sign posts that are jargon words that mean so very much to their students and to other academics, but so much less to those in industry. “Stages of mating”. “Hypergamy”. “Alpha fucks and beta bucks”.
So that’s my warning. Learn relationships from those that have the types of relationships that you strive for.
Would you like to have multiple attractive women in their most peak years in love and devoted to you?
Then don’t study about relationships from a married man . Especially if his wife is of a similar age!
My god, I can’t imagine how a man with a similar aged WIFE expects to be and is taken seriously, when talking about how to relate with women. Jesus what a waste of potential! A guy would need to be blind not to notice young ass, and incompetent not to tap it. On the regular. Or whipped or low libido. Which are both much worse than being blind or incompetent.
And unless you want a similar lifestyle, don’t take on as a mentor a PUA. From what I see all PUAs have a paltry sex life, and none have a bottom bitch, let alone several women who pray devotedly from their hearts and other warm spots at the alter of his lingam. A top PUA might in one of the best months of his career score 10 girls and have sex maybe 15 times. And he’ll have to work very hard for it, using up a lot of his limited time and energy. Whereas a guy with a harem of devoted women may have sex several times a day with different women. And most of it will be much better quality sex. Just by inviting his girls over, or doing a circuit between their apartments. And he’ll never have to cook or clean.
The PUA lifestyle is in industry. It’s practical and hands on. The married lifestyle is a communist industry – no competition at all, and you can be wasteful and inefficient and incompetent and clueless and still think things are fine and dandy.
I strongly believe that PUA and being married are both extremes. To be functioning at peak potential by definition means that one is neither monogamous for more than a few years nor a full time playboy.
A man needs BOTH variety, and deep and stable intimacy. That really should be fucking obvious.
PUAs can’t know about intimacy, and married men can’t know about dating. Both positions are too extreme. There is not the overlap that people at the extreme ends assume. Most of the skills for LTRs are vastly different than PUA skills. And PUA skills are also highly specialized, and not learned through LTRs.
And multiple long term relationship skills are again a different skill set. No PUA or married man is going to have more than a sniff of a clue about MLTR skills. But most will assume they are experts anyway. And won’t be shy to teach you what they don’t know.
Either you are fucking multiple attractive young women who are in love with you, or you do not understand and do not have the skill sets involved.
Either you are dating now, or you do not understand dating now.
Having dabbled in dating long ago and retired means you are not industry relevant now. No matter how many people you talk to who are in industry. Having specialized industry skill in one area is not transferable to another. And deep down, we all want to be neither a PUA nor monogamous forever to the same woman. I firmly believe that.
And anyone who says that he is an MGTOW guy who does not want or need women is a liar and a loser.
MGTOW guys are like born again Christians. They must devote a lot of time to proselytizing, because deep down they can’t believe their own bullshit, and the only way to maintain the faith is by splainin and splainin and communing and communing.
Nope. All men want what is the most valuable asset that has ever been. Young attractive women. And we all want these precious assets to adore and be owned by us.
And ONLY men who consistently maintain what we all truly want are in the industry, and worthy of hiring by you, to be your teacher.