Bad Daddy transcends K/R, provider/alpha. Bad daughter transcends Madona/whore.

Is this attitude K or R selected? Provider or cad? Alpha fucks, or beta bucks?

The profane is the sacred. “Daddy loves you, you little fuck.”

It’s BOTH at the SAME TIME.

It doesn’t alternate back and forth, one microsecond at a time. It’s not two parallel streams.

It’s BOTH – all at once.

Think about that!

There need be NO dichotomy whatsoever between bad boy cad and father figure provider.

There is NO binary system AT ALL. Unless YOU make one.

The girl is fucking her bad daddy.

Which makes her a bad girl.

And yet they love and are deeply bonded to each other.

(Sometimes Daughter even likes to be raped by Daddy, and will scream “No Daddy No! Stop stop!” Many Daughters spontaneously played that game, deliberately loud so neighbors can hear, to heighten the voyeuristic drama pleasure, and they had perfectly normal childhoods with no molestation. It’s an archetypal role the same way playing the mommy or baby when children play house is archetypal. Quite the look of glowing satisfaction after they come playing that game. And boy will they be close and clingy in love afterwards. THAT is love. Love HER, ALL of her. Not just her Madona.)

**********************************

There is an old saying that is popular among beginner and coffee-shop Buddhists.

“If you see the Buddha in the road, kill him.”

It means that Enlightenment, or Buddha Nature, or the true nature of your mind, is not an attainment or something external or different than it’s opposite. Suchness, nowness. You can’t escape it, and if you think you can, you are insulting the very nature of what Buddha nature even means.

That idea is very analogous and appropriate for how to have a relationship, and how to love and share and be in love.

There is no Maddona/whore complex. There is no spectrum between beta provider and pump and dump cad.

All of those archetypes are currently present in both you and your girl, right now, currently.

You accept them. You let them talk whenever they need to. You don’t have to keep them in a closet. You USE them.

You watch all different types of hard core porn with your girl, while you fuck. You sometimes have sweet very romantic sex sessions. You might even have public or group sex. And you love and fall in love and bond as deeply as you want; and you will want.

It’s all fine; all the same thing; all different flavors of appreciation and fun.

There are no separate boxes or rooms.

There is no need WHATSOEVER to strategize while doing pick up if you need to play more to her need for a quick fuck or to a boyfriend.

Just see her and play. Whatever is appropriate will come out, if you are honest and open.

And you might be surprised at what comes out of even inexperienced virgins, if you are fully open and loving. There is an inner slut in EVERYONE.

And lots of inner femininity in yourself.

It’s all good.

It can all come out to play.

There are no boxes. No rules.

The woman will want to keep you. She will fall in love on the first date; right away.

She will be so aroused and comfortable and at home. So appreciated.

No boxes, no lines. It’s all completely seamless.

—————
If you think that you have a Madona/whore complex, you don’t have to change a thing. Just start by accepting how you feel. Never mind how you SHOULD feel. Lean in. The part of you that doesn’t want a slut wants to pair bond. Accept, embrace, and USE that part of your self. It’s real, and won’t shut up. Don’t make him shut up. He won’t, through any brute force.

And the part of yourself that likes sluts? Lean in. Sluts often have high libido, are VERY open to new experiences, and can fuck and fuck and fuck and come a lot, like world class top athletes. Great lusty hunger.

Ok, listen to and appreciate that part of yourself. Don’t be ashamed of it. Don’t put it into a room, and only let him come out to play when you are drunk.

Eventually the two parts of yourself will become close friends. One day they will be the SAME person. You.

You’ll just accept ALL of yourself.

Then, slowly, you’ll start to see that other people are also like you.

And forgive and accept them.

Girls don’t have a dual mating strategy. That’s bullshit. You don’t have a Madona/whore complex. That’s bullshit.

We all of us contain multitudes, AT THE SAME TIME. We don’t have to alternate, or have boxes and lines and rooms.

We can all just get along and unify our minds and love each other extremely proficiently, with humor and incredible top end top notch the best that we are physically capable of sex.

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Pissing in her mouth and deeply feeling into her heart chakra is the same.

Nash is inviting me to try to be more patient with David Deida’s teaching weak points and hippy language, and try to see what he has of value to share.

It’s true I am less patient and not as good a listener as he is, however I do like to be inspired to point out flaws in other’s views, as well as riff off of others good ideas.

I wrote a few initial criticisms in the comments, then added this larger critique of a new age attitude to sex and relationship.

This might be confusing if one isn’t already grounded in Buddhist emobodied teachings. It might sound like I’m against deeply connecting to the heart. I actually often explicitly in many ways practice deeply feeling into my lovers being.

But see if this makes sense to you:

My opinion is that you MUST fuse cave-man ordinary joe language and attitude together seamlessly with Zen mind and tantric sex. No seams, no cracks.

There is no inner light to find. It’s allready all right there.

This is the Vajrayana, or Mahayana Buddhist, or Zen, or Tantric viewpoint. Tatagatha, or suchness, or nowness. There is no mystical inner dimension or realm. Yet Buddha mind is our mind and outer experience, all at once.

It’s inneffable yet simple, and takes either a moment to realize or decades to glimpse, or one can work for the realization and it never comes.

But it’s very seductive, and loving, to accept and appreciate. That’s a big part of Zen mind, or Tantra. That inner light is already right there. Her laugh, her pussy, her sexual energy, and even her jealousy.

Truly loving yourself and the world and your lover is fucking important as fuck. What you love isn’t some hidden jewel. It’s right there in front of our faces.

Using hippy new age language actually is an insult to real love. Because it’s not really loving at all. It’s loving the make-up, and not the face.

Pissing in her mouth is just as much Buddha Mind as is kissing her in the heart chakra.

THAT REALIZATION itself, and the absurd humor of it, is the essence of my seduction. We laugh all the time at the absurd shit and shine. It’s all grist for the mill. Nothing is sacred, everthing is sacred.

If something is sacred, that’s an insult to what sacred means. You can’t have sacred vs not sacred. That’s insulting.

That’s not what love means. Not what sex means.

Update:
We tried to record our conversation last night, but the ambient noise was too loud.

It was a long cocky funny and romantic loving evening. The cocky funny can happen only if you …

Fill in the blanks yourself.

You know how some people can get away with insulting others, while others can’t? Why is that?

I was trying to use my Buddhist background to explain it, but you can use more common sense language also.

It’s about deeply accepting ourselves and the human condition, and laughing at the absurdity of it.

You can be cocky funny about anything – making jokes about wanting to fuck the hot little child like girl across the street, jokes about incest, etc, etc, if you actually love.

A deep and penetrating love is mystical. Is a true mystical magical power.

Just like Nash’s ability to listen is a true mystical magical power.

And most anyone can do it, to some degree. It’s just quite a lot easier for the girl to open to and in love within an environment of all embracing (yet disciplined and boundaried) paternal sexual love.

Like I always say. You can make a woman instantly fall in love with you so simply. Just love her inner slut, and show it. The profane is the sacred. Boom. She’s yours forever. “Daddy loves you, you little fuck.”

Oh, you also have to make friends with the part of you that wants to own her.  So you make friends with her inner slut, and own her, at the same time.  You know she has drives, try your best to reign them in as much as you care to, while respecting her free will.  Common sense mature human boundaries; you try to keep her seduced, and laugh at the absurdities of the human condition of high free flowing libido.

If you only love her inner slut but don’t want to own her, that signals weakness and naivete.  You could just be a thirsty doormat.

Update: I understand that just saying the word “dominance” is clumsy and will bring up unwanted associations.

If you want to think about what dominance is, think about dressage; where a man or woman becomes one with a horse and trains it to dance. The horse does incredible side and backward steps, and together the two become beautiful and elegant. Or think of other equestrian arts.

That’s what dominance means. It’s listening to, loving, respecting, guiding and being guided by. Joining, yet from a position of authority.

Update: Last night we talked about how neither of us grew up with any decent imprinting of what a healthy loving relationship looks like.

Because my mother was fucked up, I had to work through dozens of weird relationships, trying to figure out for myself how to get the tons of sex that I need, and to give and get the love I need.

Does that make sense? If I was well imprinted, it would have been natural and my boundaries would have been better and I’d have more skills imprinted right in.

Instead I had to learn them the hard way.

However part of that learning process was still through imprinting. I found mentors and teachers.

I’m pretty sure that imprinting is a very crucial part of learning. Buddhists say so; you need face time with your mentor/teacher. I think it’s because of the sub-verbal communication that you can’t get any other way.

Relevant: https://krauserpua.com/2016/04/30/reveal-vs-restructure/

Update: Nash said:

“Give it 50% classical dominance, and then… look to see the TYPE OF LEADERSHIP where he is talking about opening her heart… what could he mean? Is he teaching you something that will cut back on LMR (junior level goal) or… blow open sex, as you show her you can not just lead, but lead TOWARD a place most men can’t take her… where she cannot take herself… to OPEN HER… to BLOOM HER OPEN.”

This is not just dominance. Or leadership… but leading her someplace very specific.

I never went to university. Which I think in some ways is an advantage, because for me continuing education was my education. When I was in the states I’d usually be taking various continuing ed and meditation related classes.

Learning is not a life stage, it’s a life style.

And so I’m learning from you. I’ve complimented you many times on what I see as some outstanding abilities. Very rare. You’re an incredibly good listener, plus very skillfully diplomatic, in a cheerful way. Great at comraderie.

It inspires me to try to listen a bit better. It’s not easy.

Yes, I think you’ve picked up on and put into words something important.

It’s not just dominance for the sake of it.

Putting it into words is tricky. By now you’ve read my recent post where I made great pains to point out that “the profane is the sacred”.

And above you talk about opening her to the sacred.

There are two ways to do “state control”. One is to get yourself into a good mood. The other is to accept whatever mood you currently have, exactly as it is, with no need to alter even a single bit of it.

Both are state control.

There are two types of meditation. One is doing something with your mind, the other is not altering your mind at all. You can’t really do the latter, without a lot of doing the former. Not usually; a few rare people seem to pick up on that faster. Some never get it, no matter how hard they try.

Buddhists say that the nature of mind is, already, love and compassion.

Awareness itself; just naked awareness.

But they also do loving kindness meditations. I very often deliberately raise that sweet warm awareness in my chest, and physically feel a real living embodied love.

Yet I do believe that we can’t pidgeon hole it. The profane is also the sacred, and if not, then we don’t really love.

You have to love HER. Not just what we want her to be.

Love and forgive AND train her.

So yes, it’s opening her to a place. But to a place that she already is. She doesn’t have to go anywhere.

Holding that attitude by itself is transfroming and gets her there.

Sheer lusty paternal love.

As you know I’ve studied with several chi-kung and healing touch teachers.  One of the more profound teachers taught how to simply listen with the hand.  Profoundly listen and see divinity with the kinesthetic sense, without altering anything at all.

Doing that feels very profound and transformative to people.  You don’t try to transform anything at all.  Yet the bare awareness itself is the divinity, and does transform.   Many of the students had also studied various more directly transformative energy work, and found the pure listening style to be more effective and profound.

But it’s not a philosophy.  It’s a doing.

I bet you have seen men that can do “dominance” and the DIVINE… and that last bit is what make these guys 10X more effective.
…

But I am certain these guys are for real. They are POWERFUL SEDUCERS… and precisely because they use different tools.

I want their tools. Respectfully. And I want to introduce those tools to men that are ready.

It’s unusual to even notice these “different tools”.

Tradition holds that when the Buddha got enlightened, he had decided to just shut up about it, because he assumed no one would be able to understand him if he tried to talk about it.

Yes, there certainly are different tools.  There is real charismatic spiritual power possible.  Love at first sight with young hot women several physical attraction points above a man is possible, not just once in a lifetime, but consistently, over and over, like a routine.

Talking about it is nearly futile.  Most people first of all simply won’t believe it.  Of those that do, who is willing to do the work to experience it first hand, in their own life?

Beware the serotonin pyramid scheme

Regarding teachers who speak to large audiences, beware the serotonin pyramid scheme.

The serotonin pyramid scheme is when someone gets flooded with a regular large rush of serotonin, and is therefore quite happy and content, and then from that position of happiness teaches that he has a secret teaching to success that you also can use.

Serotonin does some of what we used to think testosterone does. It rises as your social status rises, allowing for more relaxed and confident behavior. It’s one of the feel good hormones, along with oxytocin, dopamine, and the endorphins.

So someone on stage telling you he has it all figured out and has a life success system can be congruent in his attitude and really seems happy and confident as if it’s all working well. Therefore it could work well for you too, right? Ya, but pyramid schemes don’t work like that. We can’t all be life coaches, with a large following.

Once you have followers, especially in the context of a large physical crowd, it hypnotizes people and you can say almost anything. People chose identity politics and want to be in the in group. The teacher rarely gets asked challenging questions, and the group self-polices its in-group memes and starts to speak in-group jargon.

If the group lasts long enough eventually you’ll get in group politics as acolytes struggle to raise their own serotonin using the group for social feedback. This further damages the robustness of the groups memes against outsider memes, because the group think becomes more and more insular, and a world onto itself.

There isn’t much that can’t be known by a coal miner. If you’ve done much blue collar work you’ll know first hand that there are smart and well rounded self educated guys everywhere. There is little you can say that is important that you can’t say in regular joe blue collar speak. Jargon is the first tell of weak memes, developed from the weak insular in-group political environments that serotonin compells us to create or follow.

You’ll often notice teachers using jargon to dissimulate.

Strunk and White, in their book Elements of Style, talked about using Anglo Saxon based words in preference of Latin based words, because latin words are often pretentious, and used for status signalling among a professional class. Orwell also talked about pretentious diction. Don’t utilize your dick, use your dick.

Clear thinking and clear writing is meant to convey ideas to the audience. Not to mystify.

But some teachers will deliberately mystify, in order to constantly maintain their position at top of the serotonin hierarchy. They want others to look up to them, and if others actually understand what it is that you are saying, and learn the material, and are no longer mystified, what use will they have of you?

So instead of choosing the coal-miner words, they choose ten dollar words and create their own jargon and in group speak. Maybe it will be Catholic Church Latin Theology, or post modern political philosophy, or Academic in-group-signalling, or hippy-yoga-energetic speak. All perfect for mystifying and dissimulating.

Or maybe they’ll constantly bring everything back to archetypes, like a hard core Jungian. That’s also great to maintain authority, and to keep attention focused on you as it will take five minutes to answer a simple question, and you can wind around in as many circles as you choose, in a fine tap dance around and about a question. I’m of course thinking of J. Peterson.

The problem with teachers is, people usually only develop along a few lines of personal development, and then see everything from their specialty. When you have a hammer, everything becomes a nail.

But the world isn’t like that. You can’t approach psychology using the tools of egolessness. You can’t use quantum physics to analyze a Shakespeare sonnet. You can’t approach male/female relationships from the point of view of tantric sex. There are different domains of knowledge, and you can’t substitute one for the other.

Be very wary of in-groups that see more and more of the world through the same in-group lens. It’s a trap. If you can’t explain it to a coal miner, using his frame of reference, chances are it’s status signalling bullshit.

Nash’s ideas about BD’s system, and on Top-Guy in an LTR

Nash is a better listener than I am, and has a remarkable ability to learn from others, and synthesize various frames of reference and memes into a cohesive whole, then apply that to his real lived experience to further refine and synthesize, and then write down his ideas.  He also comes up with new ideas from his experiences, contemplates and shares them.

This is more than merely scholarly; it’s practical application with skin in the game. It’s not keyboard jockeying.

He also applies his knowledge of game very diligently and cheerfully.

Oh, and he’s remarkably proficient in camaraderie and makes diplomacy seem normal, while at the same time not being Mr. Nice Guy about trying to appease wrong views or to fit in.  He’s quite happy to disagree with anyone, no matter their social position.

I might be doing him a disservice to point him out, as power corrupts.  If people start to look to him as an authority, that could:

1. Give some people false hope to think that there are shortcuts and that all you have to do is listen to and emulate someone who has things more figured out.  That can’t work because we all have to do the work of synthesizing other word views into our own, unique, lived experience.  Your  created embodied worldview will certainly be different than anyone else’s.
2. Lead Nash to take on the role of teacher, which unfortunately usually makes people harden and settle into the views that they repeat while teaching.  The whole reason people become teachers was by learning new things that were undiscovered, and by being open to change.  Unfortunately being a teacher usually has the reverse effect.  Possibly why new science discoveries are usually made by the young up and comers, who are not yet in any position of authority.

So some of his comments on other blogs are worth a read.  Here is a comment where he disagrees that Blackdragon’s approach to relationships is as universally applicable to men with capability and interest to apply it as Blackragon assumes.  Nash says that MOST men could not practically apply BDs system because most of us, and most women, are quite simply too jealous. 

I agree with Nash about this, and have mentioned before it’s one reason I could never apply his system.  The other reason is that I have no interest (and probably no ability) in limiting bonding with fuck buddies; I don’t think it’s in the least bit psychologically practical for me to DECIDE how much in love I will become with a girl that I really like and am having regular sex with, and who is desperately into me.

Nash says:

“With non-open, covert lovers on the side… With perhaps an “understanding.” What is that understanding? That she might fuck another guy on the side.
— BlackDragon

Let’s start at the beginning, where we agree. Do attempts at monogamy *often* lead to “cheating?” Yes, we agree there.

In my experience, an “open” relationship means it’s OVERT. If it’s not OVERT/VERBAL (=pre-approved), then affairs are considered “cheating.” “OPEN” means some kind of verbal agreement that one/both will see other people. That works for some people — and I assume it works 1000% for you (probably less than 1000% for some of the girls you date, but that’s irrelevant).

I argue that JEALOUSY is an unbeatable force for MOST people. YES, we should see the world through rationale analysis. Yes, yes. Agree again. But that doesn’t mean you’ll “feel” good if you have any evidence of your partner fucking someone else. (If you’re in a rel where you don’t feel good… you must have a strong motive to do so.) And it’s a step WORSE if they need to tell you about it… it’s dumb, and/or graceless. I’d argue (since there are more graceful solutions), that it’s insulting.

NEW CONCEPT: If you have some **vague suspicious**, you will suffer less than if you know for certain, and even less than if your partner is talking about it, and even less if you catch them in the act. This might be subtle for some people, but it is not for me. Lance Mason would say “if it’s far away, it has less of an impact.” Lance is a genius at this level. I agree with him… you don’t have to.

So… the UNDERSTANDING is essentially traditional wisdom. Imagine a grandmother, telling her married daughter… “yes, dear, he might take a girl on the side from time to time, and this too is part of marriage. He takes care of you. You have a family… don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.” Timeless solution. The best I’ve seen.

The UNDERSTANDING already exists. And I think you know it. Many reject this model. But that doesn’t mean that many married couples don’t know “something is going on,” but don’t probe (and certainly don’t brag about it)… as the marriage has value for them enough that they don’t want destroy is because “she fucked the pool boy” or “he banged a cocktail waitress on a business trip.” The reason those are “classic examples” is because… they are classic examples. Again, I think you (or at least some of your readers) know all this. This is what I mean by “an understanding.”

If my “wife” (again, I’m a player, I’m not married) said, “Honey, I love you so much… but I want to fuck Chad from work:” In some scenario (assuming we’re sexless), I might be okay with that… but I would think she was clueless cunt to announce it. And if she said it in front of my friends (making me a public cuck), I would congratulate her on becoming a divorcee. “Hey Chad, she’s all yours… good luck, pal.”

This ^ is SLEDGE HAMMER HONESTY, (c) me 2019. Some people like it… usually only 1/2 of a rel. The other 1/2 hates it… or may tolerate it (out of weakness, fear or other motives).

For most people… the more explicit it is… the more it’s intolerable.

FULL POLYAMORY (the saddest most ridiculous version of this, IMAO) is full of one-sided love for the VERBAL OPENNESS, the explicit open rel. I have watched this community try to survive jealousy and hurt… I have no evidence they have (beyond isolated examples). That community is full of fools trying to do “the impossible,” and they suffer for their insane liberal “openness.” Mostly the guys… as they think it sounds good, but can’t get dates of their own, and their pink-haired GF announces she has a date with “green hair boy,” and her primary tries to “be big” and hates every minute of it. Sad. “Openness” run a muck.

So… what I am pointing to, is something you already know exists. You’ve all seen it in the relationships around you… you’ve been out to dinner with a couple where you “had a hunch” that one/other was having an affair. So did they. So did everyone. There is that UNDERSTANDING again… we all know it. And it’s an ugly truth, but it works. It’s less insulting than other solutions.. so it works (better than most alternatives).

And the reason those relationships survive… is because it is NOT explicit. If it was, except for “swingers” (which do happily exist, but are rare), that would be a very uncomfortable dinner.

I’m not challenging your model, man. Have at it. I am sure it works… for you. And for other men. Many of which I respect.

But the JEALOUSY CRITIQUE is valid. I think it applies to MOST people. And the “French Marriage” addresses that. And I like it. It’s proven. It’s sophisticated. It’s respectful. It’s smooth.

I do a version of it as a single guy… I date multiple women… I have had several LTRs, and overlapping LTRs, with other dates happening as well… and I tell exactly NONE OF THIS to any of the girls. No promises… but no SLEDGE HAMMER HONESTY either. I think it’s smoother. The girls know, they have a hunch…

I like it better. You don’t have to.

I didn’t find BD/s responses to Nash to be adequately subtle.

If I were to try to paraphrase BD’s overarching view, it’s that he has created a system to maximize consistent low drama happiness, and anything that falls short of that is fine for you, but he’s not interested in it, and can explain how other systems fall short.

For instance serial monogamy falls short because you’ll have periods of heartbreak and drama and unhappiness during and for a time after breaking up.

He says that a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy that Nash advocates falls into same category as cheating, and therefore puts the man on edge, which is a type of stressful drama burden, and besides, he’ll eventually get caught and bigger drama will ensue.  I think BD puts “don’t ask don’t tell” into the same category as cheating in a too facile way, with a brief hand-wave.  They are not the same category.  It’s a different thing.  Even if it’s a matter of nuance, it requires a different category altogether, and requires dealing with on it’s own terms.  There are DIFFERENT pitfalls and problems with a don’t ask don’t tell relationship as compared to an assumed monogamy with cheating relationship.

And I’m going to copy some of his last post here. 

Women CAN be “incrementally” better than others, in that “bigger tits” or a “better smile” can make us more interested and hustle a bit harder. The game of seduction is on us, so the primary drivers of making it work are on us, not the girls. So marginal gains by girls might inspire us. But as it’s on us to start the game, those bits about women aren’t essential. If a woman can follow a man’s lead, the game can begin… even if the surface rewards for a man are +/- a point or two in one direction or another.

But for a man, there are QUANTUM LEVEL skills that can’t be “almost-ed.” There is no “close” in masculinity. There is no “close” in being a leader. You can’t be “almost convincing” when it comes to her spreading her thighs.

This is why the classic Beta/Alpha thing is so persistent. Those “jumps” as Krauser calls it make the all the difference. They are distinct categories, not small tweaks. If you can make the jump… you can have the rewards.

This is why many very attractive men can get a girlfriend, but can’t create choice with women on the fly. They are surface hot, but lack the real drivers that really successful men possess. It is why men with money can find a girl that will spend time with them (sometimes), but it doesn’t at all mean they will “get what they want” from those women. Those men become cash-machines for gold diggers (some of them in the context of marriage) and get worked over.

An aside: lately I’ve been talking about how betas don’t have the reference experiences to be even able to know what it is that they don’t know. They have no idea and keep repeating over and over their clueless beta-viewpoint that a man with money that he shares with his women is just another category of beta. They can’t even begin to imagine having Top Guy frame of reference.

Hooking the girl – through good looks or cash – is a weak start, unless you have the skills to manage her psychology once you have her. Catching a snake is one thing. Enjoying it without being bitten is quite another.

This is rarely articulated. Unfortunately the red-pill/PUA/manosphere/androsphere/MGTOW/Men’s communities on the whole are at a basically grade 3 level of education. They imagine themselves as a university, with a full curriculum, but it’s still basically extremely chunky clunky cartoonishly oversimplified to the point of wrong memes that barely scratch the surface of what is required to maintain strong loving passionate relationships – yet alone strong loving passionate non-monogamous relationships. There is next to no conversation about this at all. And what there is is still very new and barely formed.

So back to Red Coco.

He does a great job of acknowledging some of the “side dishes” associated with wrangling women. How accumulating various kinds of value can make you more attractive on the front end, but also can add depth in the context of a long-term relationship.

I hear him saying that men that have been in the “boyfriend box” a few times know what it’s like to feel a girl chip away at a man’s frame. They can see the warning signs. They might have some skills in detection, if not control. A lot of that is true.

I know what that is like in my own life.

In the last 10 years I had two serious girlfriends where I lived with both of them (very briefly). They chipped away, despite my education in game. I could see it. I could deflect some of it, counter other parts, shock-and-awe her back into my frame… but the “betatization” of relationships is real. I wasn’t able to hold it back with those girls. And as I wasn’t that into them (and particularly that behavior), I chose to get out. My education and my frame weren’t quite what they needed to be… but I was wise enough to know I use boundaries to get back to a good place, a place I knew I could be happy(er)… which was single.

It wasn’t hard. I ended those relationships, got free, got happy. As the song goes… there are 50 ways to leave your lover.

But Red Coco is talking about a skillset that works within the context of an LTR. And I admire that investigation. Which is why I wrote this post.

Red Coco explores the idea that starting Beta can prepare you to function more successfully in longterm relationships. I was inspired by his thinking, but no… I don’t think that is true.

I don’t think being Beta helps, precisely because of the those QUANTUM LEAPS between categories. Those leaps are based on skills and qualities that the previous category fundamentally does not possess. The differences define the categories themselves.

Unfortunately this idea is directly applicable to Rollo and his readers. They are all stuck with the worldview of the underdog, and think that this is the real world.

It’s not the real world! It’s a worldview. That’s completely different.

Or as I put it before: ” He’s completely stuck inside a world that he himself created, and talks from that world, to people in that world.

That’s totally the wrong tactic.

That world is irrelevant.

Don’t be in that world.”

Beta’s learn a lot of bad habits that are hard to shake off. So starting there… will mean it takes years to get even middling success, as you “leak” Beta and girls can smell it, instantly disqualify you. Those Beta-tells push you down a quantum category… back to Beta… and barely fuckable, if fuckworthy at all.

We see this as otherwise “cool players” hook a girl, but they “like her too much,” and they stop running good game. That is a Beta-tell. That is a bad habit of a man that spent too much time in Beta Country and slips back into those patterns in moments of weakness. Once she see Beta… you don’t lose “a point,” you lose a whole leap of status. You’re busted from hero back down to Beta, and then… it’s gets worse and quickly.

For contrast, I’ll tell a story of an old friend of mine. We’ll call him The General.

The General is a piece of work (an imperfect man), but he is not the slightest bit Beta. He can’t imagine thinking that way. He is packed with flaws and many women would laugh at him, but he has always had tremendous control of women, access to women, he can make it happen (not with every woman, but with some girl) any time, any place. He is a proper Natural. He is the same way in business. This goes beyond surface level qualities of “catching” a prospect (be it a woman or a business client). The General is successful on the front end and also has the management skills and behavioral traits that cannot be faked, traits that hold together long-term success.

The General can display HONEST SIGNALS that are proof to many around him that he is in the category of ALPHA, even if he is not particularly Hot Guy. He is a bit short, bald, and kind of fat. But, he can pull with the volume of Hot Guy (if not the quality, but sometimes there too). And then he can run laps around guys that can only attract, as he is a natural Alpha and can control women via his own psychology and knowledge of theirs.

He is also a bit of tyrant. And I think that actually, totally serves his marriage. I have a side-theory that tyrants have the best marriages. Tyrant + restraint + benevolence, that’s the formula. I’m speculating, I’m not married… but that is how you keep the betatization process at bay. But I digress.

I don’t think most Beta’s will ever learn to be like my friend. Not even close. When they try, they will look like they are LARPing (= playacting and incongruent), and they’ll get rejected (rightfully so), or have short-terms gains that don’t serve them or their girls in the long-term.

Much better to start Alpha (which is not a choice for most guys, so this is theoretical) or… come from a family with an Alpha father (or an Alpha culture, etc) that instills this kind of Alpha thinking in you, so you default back to it (based on your upbringing)… even in hard times.

Now I’ll hat-tip to Yohami.

Yohami introduced the concept of TOP GUY to me here in this blog. Top Guy (as I see it) is a fourth category for male SMV I would add to Krauser’s totem pole. It’s above and beyond “hotness” (with that label, Krauser clouds the water a bit).

“Hotness” sounds like physical attractiveness, which is almost meaningless for a guy like me. He adds charisma, fame and lifestyle, but again, not good enough for what gives a man “hand” in a relationship. If you need to spend your time talking about how it’s all about hotness or looks, I think you’re a serious “junior leaguer” and I can’t be bothered to try to convince you otherwise (Full disclosure: I wasted some time doing that this week, and I’m bitter about it).

Looks help… yeah, yeah, yeah. Super boring, low-fidelity point. Swagger (an Alpha trait) trumps looks by a wide margin. A good looking Beta isn’t nearly as attractive as a less “hot” guy with serious swag. And above looks and swag is applied psychology. Mindset, yeah… which is byproduct of a man’s psychology. The player’s own psych (“inner game”) is crucial for Top Guy. And his knowledge of the intricacies of the minds of women.

Top Guy is all that. Looks are almost irrelevant for Top Guy. His swag and his insight into the churning gears of the SMP are what take him beyond hero (let’s say, a relatively successful PUA) into Super Hero – a man that not only has choice upfront with women, but can wrangle them once he has dragged them into his world.

I am no expert in Top Guy. I have had “Top Guy” moments, as I talked about above. When Krauser says he has fought his way into “Hot Guy” category, I think he is saying he has learned some aspects of the life of Top Guy (certainly more than me).

And I think most Top Guys are born, not made (most of them). Even if those skills lay dormant and never “activate their potential.”

Others are made. Like Yohami. I believe that he is Top Guy and wasn’t always. He says so.

I think I have had flashes of Top Guy… because Yohami schooled me so hard (he molded my psychology), and because I have APPLIED IT (this is not about memorizing theories). I have endlessly more to learn. But I make the jump up into Top Guy (always temporarily), particularly when I am working hard and have tons of options (and the Daygame Gods will it so). And then I slip back down into a productive Sigma lifestyle for most of the rest of the time.

Being Beta will never give you Top Guy insight. So you will essentially fight fires (or distract the girl from setting them), but never deal the root cause. She will fuck with a Beta. And fuck with him more aggressively every time he shows his “Bottom Guy” nature.

This was a big part of what Yohami was trying to teach. When you flash Bottom Guy at her… you drop down a quantum leap and you are really in trouble. A lot of the tools you learn in that phase of your life are half-baked recipes that highlight ingredients, but are really… nothing at all. And she knows it. So she works you out of your job (and her life).

It’s how nature intended it to be.

Being Beta may give you insight/motivation that will help you strive to actuate Top Guy… but anything remotely Beta, is the antithesis of Top Guy. Those worlds don’t coexist well at all.

To make it personal again… I don’t know that I could ever run a proper marriage. Perhaps as I have too much in my Beta past. I can run very solid relationships these days, full ROMANTIC REDPILL, but the best tool I have when things get rough is cut it off and start over. Short of that, I control a lot of the negotiation these days by controlling my time (I don’t give her too much), which means anything domestic is out.

I don’t want The General’s life, but I really admire the mettle of that man. He is a traditional guy, one that has had a ridiculously hedonistic backstory, but settled down, and now runs a business, raises two boys, and wrangles his wife (including keeping their sex life functional… which is almost all him, it’s amazing… no way a Beta could do what that man does).

And based on both genetics and his influence, I bet his son’s will have a better shot at Top Guy relationships than most. And certainly more than aspiring Beta’s can hope to know.

The game is played in psychology. And you learn each lesson via your own personal reference experiences. You can’t even begin to earn those reference experiences as an invisible Gamma (you can’t get girls to play). And Betas and The Dateables can earn reference experiences, but often the wrong ones. They learn what it is like to be seen as “high functioning” Beta. That is still a flavor of Bottom Guy.

No, I don’t think starting Beta has many advantages.

Alpha is the place to start (as Yohami would insist), as all of your incoming references are as a man that is seen and treated as Alpha. You learn the right habits… right from the beginning. You always see yourself from the right POV. And so do the girls.

May we all find the balance, the balls, and the boldness to inspire women to see us as Alpha (even if that is concentrated into the limited time we are with those girls). And if we’re good… tastes the fruit of the Top Guy lifestyle. It is from that “upward spiral” that the world opens up.

Update:

A comment I left on BD blog :

First off, about watch what a woman does instead of what she says, perhaps I deserved such an easy low blow from poor word choice, of “some girls will tell you upfront”. Or perhaps its dissimulation via red pill 101 obvious truths. Some girls will tell you before, during or after the fact. Some girls will communicate. Some girls believe. Some girls say and act such that. Ok, I think we can move past the “I’m more red pill than you” phase, and talk about the actual subject.

I get your point, BD, that ideally people can have open relationships where jealousy won’t get in the way of that.

I heard you say that if people are too jealous, they can work on that, and change, and therefore have more satisfying lives and relationships.

But I question if your theory of mind is accurate. I think you are making quite the big leap of faith, in regards to how psychology and neurology actually works.

For some people, regardless of how much experience of non-monogamy they have had, jealousy still happens, and there is no off switch. No counselling or meditation that makes it completely stop. They need to find ways to MANAGE it.

I believe that you have quite the simplistic theory of mind regarding the differences between people, and assume too much that others can be similar to you in their levels of jealousy, and their ability to keep fuck buddies at an emotional arms length.

And what about if a person does want to consciously change their level of jealousy? Should he just try to grit his teeth and bear it, until he just gets over it?

Again, I believe that does a disservice to what is, in favor of what could be. Start with what is, and work with that. For some peopl

e, don’t ask don’t tell is a good framework to start with what is. Jealousy is a hard wired evolved trait – it doesn’t disappear because of a world view or philosophy.

And sure, many people, especially here, will feel it less. Good for you! Don’t get cocky about it and assume that others can or will be able to have low jealousy.

And it’s not just about us men. It’s about managing the girls. You’d have to discard more women that you are into if you are strict about eventually being full disclosure about all details of who you fuck.

Blackdragon replied:

An entire page of text that says “I’m a really jealous guy and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Good luck with that then. You’ll never be as happy as me though.

If you are not familiar with the term “dissimulation”, BD has been quite helpful in showing how that works throughout his replies.

I’m not going to reply to his last comment, as he’s obviously closed off from touching the idea of theory of mind, even with someone else’s ten foot pole.

Ok, fine. He’s got his head up his ass about his system. That’s completely normal and common; if you become a teacher and get followers, you run that risk. You stop learning, and start repeating yourself.

But such an extreme level of dissimulation tells us more than about his thinking or learning or argument style. It tell us about how he must therefore deal with women.

As his theory of mind about jealousy is so incredibly lacking, and as he lives a non-monogamous lifestyle, he will by necessity have to blow through a lot of girls, and only keep around those that fit with his view. He can’t keep around girls with differing minds and mindsets, because he won’t have the skill to wrangle them. Because he doesn’t care to even acknowledge that different mindsets have any use or validity.

So you get his system, built out of his worldview. It’s not the other way around.

But his system is not as red-pill as he thinks. I would have thought that others would have picked up on it. But again, it’s just as we’d expect. Wherever there are acolytes, there is group mind, and people self censor. They not only don’t want to be rude, but humans are evolved to never question authority, especially within the context of a group that they want to belong to.

So the teacher, and students, get these gigantic blind spots.

The blind spot is that BD gives authority over to his number one girl of who he can fuck or not.

He lets her decide how often he can see his other girls.

He limits his attachment to fuck buddies, and rotates through the fuck buddies if they ever want a deeper relationship or more time.

That’s nothing close to red-pill, in my view.

It’s a system, that works. BD has pretty good knowledge of women, and has one of the most in depth and detailed and well thought out blogs about basic 101 red-pill knowledge, and very simple forms of non-monogamy.

If you already have some experience with girls and non-monogamy and basic red-pill theory, you might not get much out of BD. Theredquest also practices non-monogamy, and was turned on to BDs blog, but said that he didn’t find anything new there to learn.

BD lack any interest in or need for theory of mind (that there are people who are not him and think differently than him), and his setup as a teacher from on high teaching to questioning students below, and his students gladly taking on that lower position, as is usual and to be expected, creates a situation where his head is stuck up his own ass.

That works perfectly well for him. He has a great system that will keep his head up his ass, and it works fine.

But if you have a psychological makeup even slightly different than BD has, his system won’t work for YOU.

A different way to have a mind

My process for writing is to contemplate during the days some subject as I’m going about my life, and then all at once I know I have inside me something ready fully formed to come out.  I publish the first draft right away, then edit it.  I compose this way as in my process I need the tension of it being an urgent live performance.

What I have to say now is not fully formed, and I have a kind of headache and body resistance telling me please don’t write yet, but I’m going to power through that. A lot of resistance to writing when it’s not ripe and ready.

In my early twenties I lived for a time in a Buddhist monastery, where we had some periods of about three months meditating at least 8 hours per day.  Other periods we only meditated about 4 hours and that was not enough for me, so during the work seasons I moved out into the forests for my own solitary retreats, for periods of 9 and 11 weeks.

(Before going to the monastery I had also done a two week and then a month long group meditation retreat in Vermont, and a solitary retreat in a national park on an island in northern Ontario for about 3 weeks.  Age 18.)

For the 9 week solitary retreat in Cape Breton I had as a companion the book Progressive Stages of Meditation on Emptiness by Kyenpo Tsultrim Gyampso.  I successfully achieved his first stage of Chitamatra and awareness became decentralized.  I was basically enlightened for a while.  Years later I actually saw the man in a talk, and tears were streaming out my eyes and he stared down directly at me  with a huge loving smile on his face during the whole talk.  Usually a teacher focuses on working the  crowd, but this was an unusual exception.

For years and years I tried to regain what I had as living experience for a few periods of a few months.  I did a 4 month seminary retreat in Colorado, and when back in Canada built and moved into a converted school bus, in which I lived as a yogi hermit.  I got it back in very fleeting fits and bursts.  I tried so hard – tried and tried.  But I never got it back in a stable way.

(I did, however, start living a life with “awakened spinal kundalini”, and started in on regular kundalini sex with my BPD girlfriend who would visit me in my bus.)

But meditation is a type of accelerating of maturity.  Age itself, if you are paying attention to your self and life, also matures a person.  So even though I rarely do shamata/vippasana meditation regularly anymore, I had a peak experience recently that showed me the nature of my mind in a very personal and different way.  Sort of Buddhist, yet also informed by what I’ve learned about psychology and science and just my own subjective being.

It’s reminded me of an old way that I used to hold my mind.  But this time it’s more folksy.  This is more along the lines what my guru/friend kept trying to teach me – something called one taste.

When you are young, emotions are overwhelming.  Thoughts can be overwhelming.  You feel as if they are happening to you and impinging upon your well being.  You just want peace of mind; you just want them to stop!

But long term advanced meditators keep telling you to stop struggling.  Which doesn’t work, because you can’t just daydream on the cushion.  So you practice “tight and loose”, or concentration-mindfulness, and relaxing into spacial awareness with no goal.  You alternate between the two.  Eventually, after a length of time different for everyone, and possibly not even attainable by everyone, you relax and a type of non-dual insight where experience is self aware and not dependent on the bottleneck of an observer happens, and awareness relaxes into more and more perceptions.  Things become vivid, and seem to look at you instead of you looking at them.  This even happens with your own discursive thoughts; they also are just awareness that is self aware, and it’s an illusion that they run through a bottleneck of the perceiver.

So you get addicted to the meditation cushion, because heavy maintenance is required to keep coming back to this profound and pleasant way of being that seems so much more connected and dis-illusioned.

But then one taste.

After you get habituated to this, thoughts and emotions and even having a deluded ego aren’t so threatening anymore.

“First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.”

First your mind is overpowering and overwhelming, then it starts to co-ordinate with itself and you learn to trust all the various working of it to hang together and make a workable friendly big fun picture.  Then you can have emotions and thoughts again without even worrying about if you are “holding the view”, or being enlightened or not.  That’s not Buddhist teaching, but it’s true.  A lot of long time meditators eventually sort of give up, as they feel better already.

So now I’m coming back to the original non-dual way to hold the mind, but not as a 21 year old in a tent on someones abandoned farm by the ocean.  Not as a 22 year old living in a rudimentary hunters shack in a forest a 10 minute hike to the frozen ocean.  Just as a guy.  There is no urgency to fix anything, or to avoid rebirth.

It’s just my experience now, that I have a relationship to my sort-of-unconscious.  I let him talk to me, in his many different ways, and we share awareness – sometimes dancing and blending; especially if we are visualizing.  And lately more I’m seeing and realizing that even my internal dialogue is also the same nature.

It’s a similar path to what I had to work so hard to find in that grove, staring out into the field, with the living guidance of that book.

I’ll leave this here, and maybe come back to it.

************

By the way I rarely mention any of my past lives of being a meditator or husband or traveling salesman or multiple business owner or several periods with multiple girlfriends and so forth to girls.  Stuff slips out from time to time, but I don’t tell stories about it.  I’m more of an in the moment guy.  And I doubt most girls would be interested or be able to relate.

Why are you still stuck in red-pill rage?

I understand, from afar, that the West has some hysterical anti-masculinity cultural problems, and both men and women are losing interest and ability to be social and attractive to each other face to face.

I understand that the online dating market makes getting dates with attractive women difficult for average and below average looking men.

I’ve also seen that for the most part people have an extremely difficult time changing their personal habits, even when they want to. And worse than that, people most often are entrenched within their identity politics world views. Even and perhaps especially many so called red-pilled men.

I don’t understand why people don’t take the serenity prayer seriously. It’s old technology, and it seems psychologically incontrovertible to me.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Or the 8th century Buddhist version:

If there’s a remedy when trouble strikes,
What reason is there for dejection?
And if there is no help for it,
What use is there in being glum?

I’m not traditionally religious, not least because humans know more now than they did when traditional texts were written. I don’t buy J. Peterson’s argument that we’re better off living as if the traditional texts were true, because we are evolved to embody the workable cultural truths that are encoded in the texts. Because there is no need to hold onto old workable memes when newer workable memes can be more helpful.

But I’m happy with the language of the serenity prayer.

The way I see it, life is quite difficult, and we truly might not be able to win enough to find happiness. But how much can it help to just bitch about it? Either you can do something about it, or you can’t. Right?

Right?

People prefer to complain about the weather instead of MOVING to a place with better weather. Or working inside their environment to control the effects of weather. Raincoats, umbrellas, air conditioning and central heating and roofs.

I’m still frequently surprised and dis-heartened that this blog isn’t on more blog-rolls, and that some of the posts don’t get linked to more in more discussions. I wrote a blog post before on that subject. Krauser recently said that he’s accepted the fact that he could never be popular, because you have to be common and therefore shit to be popular, and that he could never write down to please a common crowd. The Red Quest said that he realizes his blog can’t be popular because most manosphere/androsphere/red-pill readers prefer to remain in the anger phase, rather than be active in improving their lot with women.

I write mostly about LTR game. Very little actionable advice about pickup that isn’t about mindset and general self improvement. When I was active on the RVForum, some guys said this was irrelevant to them, as they were struggling with just getting laid at all. Others seemed genuinely bitter, and only wanted to “pump and dump the bitches”. My response to the forum attitude was that such guys can never be experts on women, as they never take the boat out of the harbor. Ok, so you took 100 boats for a spin in the harbor. So what?

I realize that men ache for community, and feel better about their suffering if they have like minded fellows in similar situations who can agree about scapegoats social ills.  But the serenity prayer!

Change your mind, change your habits.  Do you want to be in the anger phase until you die?  Are you so stubborn that you have decided that this is your only option?

Many people have said that they have made genuine friends with books.  That’s a very old idea, held by many.  I’d like to believe that even though most people don’t comment here, that even the silent readers are in a real relationship with me.  That I’m truly speaking to you.

Good.

The obvious expectations you train into a girl

Your reference experiences are held in your micro expressions, and these include what are your social boundaries and good treatment expectations.

It’s your girls responsibility to not be a doormat, and to leave you if you suck, and to let you know that she will. You respect girls who don’t let themselves be shit on and taken advantage of, and take them more seriously.

And the converse.

I came across some tweets of advice to women about how to keep a high value man. This is all completely familiar to me, as it’s common sense boundaries and expectations that it’s my responsibility to train into women who don’t yet have the experience of behaving well. Which is most women.

It’s up to you to train your girl, and if you don’t do that, don’t blame her for being uncivilized. Relationships are school, for most of us, as most of us didn’t get perfect social imprinting within the family and school context.

From https://twitter.com/MyPlayboysBunny/status/1040595855030538245

For Girls Seeking to Keep a High Value Man:
1) Learn to cook
2) Do not talk about other men
3) Be available
4) Respect his time
5) Be responsible w/ money
6) Ignore your phone when w/ him
7) Find new ways to be sexy for him
8) Be proud of him
9) Be emotional w/ gal pals, not him

For Girls Seeking A High Value Man:

1) Go to the gym, lose extra weight
2) Clean up your diet
3) Keep your home and your car clean

When you look better, feel better, and care for your surroundings, it comes through in your attitude, and it’s more attractive.

Getting good treatment is not just an attitude. Countless times I’ve said “talk to other girls about that, not me”. It’s unexpected at first, and might therefore seem rude, but it always only takes about 5 seconds for any girl to realize this is perfect common sense and even common decency. I might also say “I’m not a girl. Talk to other girls about that”.

Masculine polarity is important. For her attraction but also for your own peace of mind. You are not her best buddy – you are her man.

Regarding every one of these points I’ve said explicit things and demanded specific actions. I make the girl dress well, even if just around the house. Even if it’s a day both of us stay home, she’ll be in makeup and dressed sexy.

If she dresses only to go out, I’ll point it out. “Oh, you want to look good for others? You should look good for me instead”. It embarrasses them at first, but they can’t argue. It sinks in. I got a facelift, very frequently don’t eat for a day, go to the gym regularly, wear fake hair, shave every day, and so on. It’s to keep her sexually aroused. I demand and expect her to be just as interested in maintaining my arousal. And as we both are aroused by each other and fuck a lot, it becomes a self sustaining habit of keeping the top spinning. We prefer the spin. One year after moving in together basically on the first date, the frequency and passion of sex is still top notch high.

I’ve chastised J before for serving food to others before me. For not paying attention to the quality of the food she prepares me. Now she is a great cook, and takes great pleasure in pleasing me. As most women do, she’ll wait expectantly for me to take a bite of food to receive my comment. This is a great value to my life.

M started out as a tom boy who walked and dressed like a man, couldn’t fuck, and had no idea how to cook. At the end she prided herself on being a very good cook, had a huge tasteful feminine and sexy wardrobe, and was an orgasm machine.

Girls sometimes bad mouth their boyfriends or husbands to create in-group bonding with the other gals. But mine brags about my six pack and the size of my cock. Her friends ask how they can get a guy like me, and sometimes ask if they can fuck me a bit. This is normal – or it can be – these simple expectations are perfectly normal. Don’t assume that negativity is normal. It’s common, but not normal. Not YOUR normal. You will learn to do and get better, because that’s YOUR normal.

The more you are used to being treated well, the less correction you’ll need to give. Your being will hold a power of social expectation, that she will conform to.

You can’t suck a pussy or fuck properly if you can’t switch between enough roles

I’ve heard it said that it’s best to be the man she’s cheating with instead of the man she’s cheating on.

Last night I was both. We role played. She came a lot, and hard, and was totally into the role. I was a stranger. That made her come harder. Was she cheating? Was I?

No man. Jeesus. Forgive yourself. Forgive her. You both have the same drives, and both of you can be crazy jealous. Fire was conquered hundreds of thousands of years ago. It’s still dangerous, but how capable and old are you? Get older and get more capable.

You appreciate in a lover her willingness to follow you into unknown role plays. You haven’t been there before. Maybe neither has she. You are fucking, and you explore mind spaces. Nurse? That’s an obvious yet fruitful first exploration. Student?

Ok, what about threesome? Ya, it’s just your mind. It’s just your girlfriend. There are no police watching. It’s all up to you. Just explore. Get to know each other and yourself; the world.

There is never any benefit from publicly exploring taboos. But I’ve been very patient with the manosphere. Over 900 posts, and in all that time I rarely bruise egos with visions of things too far out of reach. I only recently talked about life within chi-kung as a social normal.

Your social normal is up to you. Your girl adapts. She’s not going to share your brain or stop caring about her other social connections, but you can share mind space.

And you have to do it also. She has the desire you do. Use it.

Mix with her and learn from her world.

And what about all your hidden selves. My god it’s such a waste of time and effort that always explodes in my face to talk about:

1) sexual attraction to younger women
2) erogenous zones deemed too feminine

There are no off limits, unless you need. Why do you need them? Do you want her to find her limits elsewhere?

This will either hurt or inspire you.

Being treated as a God.

In grade 9 and 10 I had the funny conceipt of giving myself the nickname God, and a few of the lower status guys were in on the the joke and called me that publicly.

It was fun.

Later in high school I started a trend of hugging many of the hot girls in the hallways as we passed. This was not exactly sexual, I just really appreciated them, and it became a social norm in my high school for some of us to interact this way. I also used to sit at the girls table during lunch. Again, not exactly sexual – I just really like girls. There was not awareness yet of holding masculine polarity, so this did not lead to any sex. I just like girls.

But I was just a teenager; most everybody is stupid at that age. I stumbled through, and experimented and took things in new directions. I was also meditating and working out at the time. I was very serious about my lucid dream practice, and did my best to learn what I could from LSD, maybe 12 times, in high doses.

They say that during your formative neuro-plastic years that habitual pathways get myelin coated, and so become permanent super-highways. I started practing my own invented loving kindness meditations and self hypnosis at about age 12. It was very powerful. Also my masturbation was a loving kindness chi-kung meditation, in a way; it truly was profound self love, and that’s obviously the definition of positive. At age 16 I left hypnosis behind as I considered it setting the mind up into compartments, and I was more interested in unifying my mind, through meditation. At age 18 I did my first month long group meditation retreat, meditating at least 8 hours a day, with frequent lucid dreams at night.

After coming out of the monastery and a lifestyle of frequent meditation retreats, my path towards being a monk was interrupted by an unplanned pregnancy with a woman with BPD. We divorced two years later, and as that relationship was winding up I realized that my self started small jewelry and clothing vending business was required personal development. Sitting in a monastery where no music is allowed calms the mind, sure, but it’s not a well rounded education, and you lose your ability to be social with the common facility. So I sold my wares to college aged girls around the US, face to face from behind a table, for about 10 years. Some of that with my hot nympho Indonesian girlfriend, and we fucked in near all of our ample spare time, and sometimes on the job; kundalini sex, no male orgasms.

In my relationships for at least the last decade, maybe much longer, I’m used to being treated as an object of reverence. As a type of God.

I’m still learning that this can be a perfectly appropriate mutual reverence. It’s not necessarily an inappropriate power trip.

Some people have accused me before of abusing my magical yogic spiritual powers. You don’t have to believe in real chi or real spiritual powers to know that other people do experience them. Charismatics mesmerize, and that’s a fact. I’ve studied with and lived with and befriended some of the worlds most amazing charismatics. Paid good money to study with some of them. Hundred dollar an hour sessions maybe 20 years ago with a top chi-kung healer, and was a long apprentice. One of my several chi-kung teachers.

And I had my own spontaneous kundalini awakening at age 21 or so, at a time when I had zero context for that and no teachers and no friends who knew any teachers about that. It took until about age 27 to find some of those communities. In the interim I had quite the wild ride, as did my lovers.

Back to the theme of this post; being treated as a God.

My whole blog aches to share the possibility of what seems to me perfectly natural interpersonal male/female dynamics. The man is treated with devotion, reverence, and constant doting. This has been my normal, for ages.

I try to write about how it can be other men’s normal also. I get what seems like nothing but resistance and back talk about it. But this is my real lived life; it’s innarguable.

Your own standards and ambitions are up to you, but just at least know what is possible.

Related

A very different kind of peak experience

During an altered state, an innummerable number of co-ordinated voices in my head were embodied as if in cells from my head to toe. We are perfect friends with each other, after all these close years of interaction. In fact we realize that there is no me vs them – awareness somehow or other is telepathic within my self – the many different awarenesses merge – sometimes by them bringing things into consciousness, sometimes by us all sharing the same consciousness.

So we played. I knew I could do just about anything that I wanted to with my mind. We partied, and they gave me music, with many instruments. Then they started chanting a life affirming “yes” “yes” “yes”. Thousands or hundreds of thousands of voices. Then I heard “no” “no” “no” join in, and the yes voices got muted. Both the yes and no were not voices in my head that I listened to from inside a room of my “self” narrative. No no no. As a lucid dreamer by know I’m perfectly familiar with my mind being my mind. I know and feel the voices as my very respected selves. And they respect me too. We’re good friends by now.

And therefore I said “that’s ok, chant no also”. And so the yes and the no chanted together. The no with perfect power to dampen down the rising and rising chorus of extactic music and yes. The yes and no were in perfect harmony, not fighting at all.

This is a real thing that happened just yesterday.

It’s rather incredible, and perfectly credible – this is an amazing world.

Later I realized I can at will stop the internal diologue and be present, just as I’d spent a great many years dedicatedly practicing, in Buddhist monasteries, in long solitary forest retreats (the most transformative one lasting 11 weeks, coming out only for food once every one or two weeks, a long treck over a mountain knee deep in snow), and on countless forgotten meditation cushions. And the chi-kung. It’s the same thing. Embodied shared awarenesses of colors, feelings, voices, music.

A few days ago in another altered state I directly experienced that visions don’t have to be in the form of movies; the awarenesses can be multiple and infinite and overlapping; as if 100 phantasms shared the same 3 dimensional space. That is how awareness works, yet we usually are stuck in narrative. The narrative is just one different fantasm. Not a self at all. It’s just a very small part of all of the phantasms that make me up.

Life is very good, and you can make great friends with yourself, and he/she/it/we are incredibly interesting and can be very funny and generous, and all get along in good harmony.

State control can be a lifelong worthy pursuit, and you can’t get it from just watching an episode of Seinfeld before hitting a club.

D said:

Totally over the top exaggeration, but notice that Travolta starts out in his own world and then he doles out the eye contact AFTER women notice him, like his attention is reward. Then the girls start competing for it and a frenzy ensues. Its a true thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W29xpRD0BwE

I like that example, even if it is extreme.

I’ve seen people do what looks like chi-kung or tai-chi as a style of disco-dancing. When I dance usually it’s a form of chi-kung. If I hold my hand above my head, I’m actually trying to feel body-centered emotions and energies that I associate with that space from long habits of chi-kung practice, and I try to feel into the energy of the room. It’s a good way to connect to the positive energy of the crowd. It’s life affirming and celebratory, and as I’m embodying that connection and celebration, that connection becomes a real interactive thing; people feel/sense my vibe and it’s a feedback interaction.

I really can bring up the energy and positivity of crowds. Not from an invisible force, but from in the usual ways; people feel better when they notice other people around them who feel good and are positively interacting. And as your video points out, you can get more subtle in your positivity. And people aren’t used to seeing that level of body-mind-space subtle-energetic presence and awareness, so that’s slightly exciting and becomes a mutual celebration of the human condition.

I remember as a teenager me and some friends had as a life philosophy and near religion to party hearty. There was something in that, if you replace the word party with celebrate.

Disco crowds can actually sometimes be bored and depressed. I’ve seen this change to a crowd being energized and into a more genuine party mode. Sometimes that happens just by the night progressing, but if there is no live band, music alone doesn’t always get people to act as a crowd and share their celebration. Being out can actually be a very lonely experience for a lot of people.

I also reach below my feet in a lot of chi-kung dance moves, and move the energy up and down visibly, while being spatially aware. And I try to move much less than the girl; dancing is about appreciating her, much more than it is showing off how well I can dance. She’s the focus, I’m there to celebrate her. Which helps her to celebrate me; women like to be celebrated, and appreciate it.

It’s subtle, and noobs or keyboard jockeys won’t have the life experience to get that point. It’s not pedestalizing to be really into a woman and to let her know it. That’s part of what people do that’s cool; we appreciate each and compliment each other. It’s only pedestalizing if you get needy and over-compliment as if you could purchase attraction with compliments.

It’s not supplicating to appreciate. I suppose that was a key, and new element, to my more magnetic vibe that night. Less hungry, yet more appreciative. It’s surprisingly not a catch22 or paradox. Sort of a Buddhist ideal, as Buddhists are always talking about the 3 “kleshas”, or disturbing emotions, and forever hinting at some mysterious alternative way to interact, that is compassionate and loving and appreciative, yet not needy.

The 3 kleshas are passion, aggression, and indifference. But passion is a contentious klesha, and some say it’s not an issue at all. That’s a subtle one. The interesting klesha, I think, is indifference. Also sometimes translated as ignorance. But apathy is said to be a type of emotion that gets in the way of this mysterious enlightened non-dual present open hearted mind.

So appreciation without necessarily tying that to getting a phone number and a fuck winds up being strangely attractive, as a state of being. Not exactly a state of doing; it’s an interactive state of being.

In the same way that improv is actually not just something that you do, it’s actually a state of being. My recent post on improv shows brain scans that support that theory. It’s how you hold your mind and interact; not just some sort of verbal or musical fluency and quick-witedness.

My buddy/guru kept trying to tell me how seductive it was to not be too desirous, but I could not take the advice, because it’s also extremely seductive to be hugely turned on and into and uncontrollably want to fuck a girl. I’ve seduced girls with the power of that passion many times, and it’s a well documented and studied real dynamic.

This is a different dynamic that is also powerful, and more sublime. In some contexts it seems its quite a bit more powerful.

But you can’t make that state of mind, the way you can make a hamburger. You can’t create that interpersonal dynamic in the same way you might by singing a song or reading a poem or “doing the cube” or some script. It’s a subtle state of being that may take weeks or decades to fleetingly “attain”. And it most likely relies on external or interpersonal setups, such as “raising merit” in Buddhist speak, or feeling as if you are an overall positive force of mostly not too fucked up karma, in regular guy speak. And being loved and having a bottom bitch who you give love and frequent female-orgasmic sex to really helps a great deal. Our minds are also socially intertwined and interpersonal, so getting your life and shit together is a big part of what state control is all about.

Delusion, or a spiritual peak experience?

Decades ago I was a frequent and very long term meditator who practiced chi-kung and off the body chi-kung healing touch. It’s been studied that your screen refresh rate goes up if you meditate frequently; as numbers flash by on a computer screen you can see more of them distinctly even at very fast rates.

So during this time in my life I was keenly aware of what happens during the first 1/2 of a second of eye contact.

It’s a really magical time. It’s incredible how much information humans share in that time. I always try to translate my concepts in a rational scientifically reasonable world view, but sometimes more information is conveyed by being more poetic or even metaphysical. Some experiences I’m at a loss to find any frame of reference for whatever.

During that period in my life, I was able to make people turn around to see if I was looking at them or not. I even did this in a meditation hall, where people are not supposed to move. Very consciously, I picked out people, and one by one told myself that I would make them turn around. I then used my gaze and felt into them with my eyes.

One by one, people turned around. But they were annoyed, and gave me a harsh glare. As if I were being disturbing.

My energy was not good at that time. I was highly sexually supercharged, and had no outlet. I was a fucking mess, and a hyper aware, spiritually powerful mess.

During that time my best friend was an accomplished meditation practitioner with deep social connections and long association with many top teachers. Teachers who you hear incredible stories about; about people stopping all thoughts for a few days after a brief encounter, and so on. The stories are so common that it’s a thing, in Buddhist circles. Anyway, I remember vividly one day walking down the street with him, and people would smile in their eyes and lips and say hello to him as we walked past. Not one person said hello to me. Over and over. It wasn’t random. It was awesome. I was a bit jealous, and felt excluded. But I also realized that this was a hell of a life lesson. Maybe one day I’d get to the bottom of it.

Well, last night was amazing. I took some ritalin, which increases my clock refresh rate of course, and drank a bit. As people walked by, I noticed what happened in that quick instant as our gazes met. And most everyone I looked at shared a gaze with me. Finally! I was not harsh anymore. I was open, loving, accepting, joyful, calm. People didn’t feel unconfortable in my gaze, and the spark was full of comraderie and shared human condition.

Later J and I went to the disco, and I had the feeling that my gaze was a bit magical. I had the feeling that girls were checking me out and being attracted. Well, I’ve been delusional before, who knows when drinking and doing a mild stimulant. But then as we were dancing near a troupe of 4 very hot very young girls, one of them danced in front of me then started grinding on me. I held my ground, and let her grind, all the while J was burning up with jealous anger. This was so blatant. I was loving it, and J and I were talking about it as it happened. So funny. While this was happening I was having a lot of eye contact with the other girls. It was amazing. My vibe was so on last night, like nothing I ever remember. (Well, that’s not quite so. I’ve had some other great days. But I think this was a peak of peaks.) The eye contact went very well; I really wish I had better words for it. The girls appreciated the attention, didn’t turn away, and we shared the joy of sharing gazes, all the while dancing.

The whole time I was doing chi-kung on my girl. She feels this when I do it, and sometimes ask me to “do magic on her”. My hand was resting on her spine. Her vibe is also very good.

I’ve danced with very hot girlfriendss in clubs before, and sometimes my vibe has been very good and I’ve felt that I’ve helped to improve the mood of the club. You can be fun grandpa, and have a social effect on crowds. People like to respect older folks and see them having a good time. It’s happened a few times, if I’m not being delusional. But last night I really felt I was getting eyeballed and checked out by a great many attractive young women. Inside the club and out. It was quite unusual, for me.

I told J that it was her love that was powering all of that. She couldn’t appreciate my metaphysical frame of reference, but it does make sense to me.

People are highly evolved to make snap judgments about vibe, and are incredibly attuned. I have no idea how so much information can be conveyed so fast. Subjectively it feels like it happens in the eyes and eye contact, but who knows. Of course I get social validation by being with a doting attractive young woman, and that can cause people to try to grab me from her, for fun, like that girl and her troupe were playing at. But think about it for a moment. If they can sense my vibe, what about hers?

Before I’ve been to clubs with girls with a bit more scatterbrained vibes. That’s also a reflection on me.

This time my vibe was at a lifetime peak, plus she has a more well rounded character and vibe than other hotties I’ve been with. Hot and not crazy. That’s a much more powerful combination. And when I say her love powered the interest in me, I’m talking about her vibe as if it’s a metaphysical force; that’s the best way to imagine it. A force people feel, that changes who I am, and makes people more interested in me and what it is she is clearly getting from me.

I’ve long been aware of a duty to hold a good vibe. Our vibes hugely influence each other. Even strangers on the street.

One of my teachers has the practice to make as much eye contact with strangers as he can. He has that much belief in the power of the gaze.

I could write all the very positive eye-contact down to a being a bit high and delusion, but for the the real physical actions; that girl was grinding on me for maybe 10 minutes, and her friends were so comfortable in the situation. I knew I was in a rare zone, and then real effects.

Hard to put into words my vibe, but:
1) Lately I’m not hungry for sex from other girls. I used to always be. So I can look at a hot girl with appreciation, without exactly wanting to fuck her now. That seems to have a strange counter-intuitive effect. J has me very calmed down, in a way I don’t remember ever feeling before.
2) I was thinking about improv lately, and I think that relates to being in the moment – even that impossible to act upon 1/10th of a flash of energy second when eyes meet. You can be sort of egoless, groundless, open, and connected. And loving. It’s a state of improv and fluidity and trust.

Blogging has really helped me in my life. It always helps to have contemplations to work on, and then bring the organized insights to the public page, and then use those to go further. Lately I’ve been talking about my old chi-kung social habits. I stopped being social about chi-kung for many years, because it’s so completely out of the frame of reference of most people.

But it’s not, though.

We all know how eye contact feels so different with different people.

I’m lucky to have had seeds planted in me many years ago, by those advanced personalities. And I include my father and grandmother in the group of advanced personalities whose beingness was itself a teaching. It’s time to publicly acknowledge the esoteric teachings and practices and not be ashamed of standing out as a weirdo because of them. It’s very valuable stuff, and thanks to the teachers, and gratitude. Maybe I can pay it forward a bit.

Handling conflict

I’ve dated many women with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was even married to one in my early twenties. After I announced my intention to split up, I agreed to see a couples therapist, to in my mind help her to adjust to the new realities. I was so impressed by the woman that I later saw her on my own for a while. But then she started to suggest that it was important for me to talk about my mother, and I drew a line in the sand and would not go there.

At the time I thought it would be a non-productive swamp and was a fad idea with no merit, to talk about ones mother.

But it may be the case that the very troubling relationship that I had with my mother, is related to having dated way over the average number of girls with BPD.

Everyone is at least a little bit BPD, sometimes. And some people, when describing the female mind and the nature of women are basically describing borderline personality traits. Women on the whole are more BPD, day to day, than men.

I did learn a lot, over the years, dealing with these people that it is completely impossible to have a healthy relationship with. It doesn’t matter how incredible your game is, and how psychologically sublime and fit you are, you will get worn down and lose dealing with BPDs. They always “win”, long term. And they make it basically impossible to just fuck them for fun; they will make the drama that they need, one way or another.

But I did learn a lot, that I may not have learned otherwise. As I said, BPD is just an extreme example of the basic human condition. Shrinks4men is the goto website to learn more, and every man – EVERY man – needs to learn all he can about personality types and disorders.

Which brings me to the point of this post.

Not all women are like that, and handling conflict will change enormously depending on who you are having a conflict with.

The last very-low-conflict girl that I was with before V was Kiki. It was perhaps the happiest year of my life. It was like Christmas and a birthday, every day. Until she died, one year after we met and moved in together on the same day.

It was about 5 years later that I met V, who is one of the most gracious women I’ve ever met. Also very low conflict, yet not at all a doormat. Just emotionally open sensitive and healthy and respectful.

That changed me, I think. J is also a very low conflict girl, yet with her last boyfriend they argued all the time like crazy.

I’ve learned a great deal from V, about how to handle conflict. I never had one argument with V in the three years that we dated. Except on the last day of seeing her. And J and I never argue. I’ve been angry at her, and chastised her a few times, but we don’t bicker or fight.

I really don’t think that I had the social skills before to keep conflict at a minimum even with a potentially low conflict woman. I think also that I may have created or helped to bring out the low conflict ability in J.

Hmmm, I’m supposed to write a how to. A how to would be really helpful. Yet all I’m saying is that you can learn from both crazy and sane women, and that you can get better and better at maintaining love and joy and low conflict. I know there is more to it than that, but at the risk of posting a lower value post, I’m going to leave this here, and perhaps come back to it.

If anyone has any thoughts about how they’ve improved their ability to keep conflict in relationships low, please comment.

Improv as the foundation of game, part 2.

I think writers post to raise their feel good hormones. Serotonin from raising social standing, oxytocin from gathering or creating like minds, and dopamine from the work towards these rewards.

There is a fine invisible blurry line between outright bragging and inspirational thoughts about how to do something. The motivation is both, because serotonin and oxytocin. Status and group belonging. Too much status seeking causes envy and the loss of oxytocin though, and even the loss of status. Tricky invisible non-existent line. It’s a fake line of course; bragging is built into every single possible craft or art; it’s the whole fucking point of doing ANYTHING well. Look at me! Wow! Cool huh?! Oh, and YOU can too, so we’re on the same team. Let’s go!

Lately I tried to straddle that line in a way that is probably impossible. I tried to talk about the difference between playing “what would you say to a girl if” games, and the very contrasting frame of mind of being on the spot improvising in the moment, from a place as close to personal strategic-authenticity as possible.

It’s impossible to not come off as an ass while trying to do that. Just try it yourself. You’ll sound like an arrogant ass, for sure.

I’m trying to get around that now, by laughing at the whole project, pointing fingers at all the ingredients in the sausage, and letting it all hang out. It won’t work. I’ll still sound like an ass. This is an impossible project. Much like how talking about sexual attraction to fertile young women of a certain frowned upon age never goes well. No matter how good a job you do, it’s a job that can’t be done.

But here goes.

I’m trying to think out loud about improvisation. I’m a casual hobbyist player of musical instruments. I’m not quite good enough to call myself a musician, although I do make musicalish sounds. Compared to musicians, I’m not good at all, but compared to not being able to play at all, I’m pretty good. I’m happy with that, I don’t need to be anywhere else for it to be good enough for me, but I also really love to see improvement.

I’m also a very lazy student. And enjoy being creative. And impossibly forgetful. Therefore every time I play an instrument, I have no recollection whatsoever of any tune or fragment of a tune that I’ve ever invented before. Truly. I can only remember a theme of an improv that I’m working on while I’m playing it. The next day, or even the next hour, it’s gone forever. Bye bye.

My mind is quirky that way. My memory lands me in trouble with people with minds closer to the middle of the bell-curve, because I sound above average in some abilities, therefore people think that I have a memory. I don’t really have a memory. I never reminisce, because I can’t. When my friends play the remember when game, I can’t join in. Nope. Don’t remember at all. For me I have no option but to live for today. And I don’t even take pictures and the ones I have I rarely look at. Just not nostalgic for events. Nostalgic for relationships, sometimes, but not events. Can’t remember them, mostly.

So, like a blind person with hyper-acuity in hearing, my mind must have learned to compensate. There are several different circuits to memory, I can attest first hand, because if I make an emotional connection with someone, thereafter I’ll remember their face and voice. Without that I can spend conscious minute after minute trying to memorize the face and clothing, and 10 minutes later can’t recognize them as they return from the ATM to pay for my wares that I put aside for them. “Hi, can I help you?”

I think that this has something to do with improv.

There are different circuits in the brain that can be used, to deal with day to day interactions. I’ve had to rely on them, perhaps more than most. But like an idiot savant, it’s what you lack that brings out unusual other abilities that might otherwise have gone un-noticed.

Improv.

I was doodling on the guitar today, and noticed that conscious analytical decisions were a part of the learning process, but after my fingers had the muscle memory of where the notes are, eventually I move into a more free flowing, less decision making oriented flow where beats quickly change and notes change without me realizing that I’ve made a decision about changing them. Sort of like my hands are playing the guitar by themselves, yet at the same time I’m even closer into the moment than before where I had to pick out the notes using conscious choice. Just exactly like singing a harmony part to your favorite song. You don’t realize what harmonies you are going to choose until after they are out of your mouth; you are just into the moment so much that you become the music; you sing the music. You don’t choose what music to sing. Less separation, while at the same time less decision.

I’ll leave this here and come back to it.

Update:

I had to look to see what science there is on this subject, and my subective intuitions are exactly mirrored in this study:

One shouldn’t really need an excuse to embed this fantastic performance by Thelonious Monk, but now there is one: NIDCD researchers believe that they have identified the cognitive neural substrate of jazz improvisation.

For the study, which is published in the open access journal PLoS One, Charles Lamb and Allen Braun recruited six professional jazz pianists. The participants were asked to play a specially-designed keyboard whilst their brain activity was monitored with functional magnetic resonance imaging.

In the control condition, the musicians were asked to play an ascending or descending scale, while during the experimental condition, they were allowed to improvise. The researchers were thus able to compare the brain activity correlated with performing a simple task in which the participants’ musical creativity was highly constrained, to that correlated with the far more complex improvised task.

It was found that the improvised condition was characterized by reduced activity in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, a region of the brain thought to be involved in the planning, organization and execution of behaviours. The implication is that deactivation activity in this area underlies the spontaneity required for the musicians’ improvisation.

And, regarding my intuition that impaired memory may actually facilitate improv, there is this:

“Improv is all about being in the moment, which for someone with memory loss, that is a very safe place,” says Mary O’Hara, a social worker at the Cognitive Neurology and Alzheimer’s Disease Center at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine.

When I’ve come across seduction ideas that are about memorizing scripts or stages of seduction, I didn’t just immediately blow them off out of arrogance, thinking that I had a superior technique. I also blew them off because I would have a very troubling time trying to memorize such things. That would really throw me off, and put me out of the moment, and disable what I know works for me, which is being in the moment. I can be in the moment. It’s the calling upon all these scripts that would really be difficult for me. Counterproductive, most likely. And I disagree that you need these crutches. I never used them, yet somehow I learned social skills, just by interacting and getting the theory. You don’t have to memorize theory in the same way as scripts; you can understand and apply it on the spot, in your own words.

It’s difficult to really pin point how to move into this now-moment where you trust your creativity. I think it has a lot to do with liking your own self and believing that he has something seductive and useful to give. Which is a bit chicken and egg, of course, because you need positive reference experiences from others that confirm your value; it’s not all internal game at all; that would be empty narcissism that would lead to low girl-retention and sub-optimal positive feedback. So I think we need to organically grow our social skills, perhaps by social climbing, starting with old or crazy people, or if you’re dick agrees, the less attractive. Then slowly get better and better, younger hotter tighter, and finally, the impossible to reach prize: young hot tight and not insane.

Oh, and at the same time, working on ones own mental and physical health, and value in all possible areas, so that we are empirically valuable, and our serotonin and testosterone naturally rise to reflect a genuine honest appreciation of our rightful place in the world. I’ve always advocated body centered meditations and mind training to accelerate mental and sexual fitness. And by now every one that talks about improving ones status with girls always talks about diet and gym.

The hysterical PC police is worse than I imagined possible

I haven’t been in the US or Canada for over 12 years. Back then the hysterical ideas were mostly on the “right” and were called the “war against some drugs”. The culture wars and identity politics, to me, saw the right as bone headed and stubborn and deliberately out of touch with reality.

Of course even back then it was clear that feminist ideas had gone too far; gender is not a social construct. People talked about it, and took sides, but you could take a side without being shouted down.

This video shows an extremely scary cultural hysteria, beyond anything I’d have imagined possible. They say that the first person to use the word Hitler loses the argument, but what other social movement comparison can I make, other than to the great political group-mind consensus building movements of the pre world war 2 eras? Communism, Nazism, Stalin-ism, fascism. Huge groups of people who would murder and persecute their neighbors if their neighbors professed the wrong ideology.

It’s fucking scary. I’m so glad I’m not at a job in a country infected by this horrible mass hysteria. I don’t know what you guys can do about it. This has gotten to the point that many will have to sacrifice their freedoms in order for freedom to still be a thing.

And from what I hear your universities are now so overpriced as to be an indentured servitude system. And the curriculum is fucked up beyond repair by this insane feminism. I can’t call it leftism. It’s got nothing to do with what used to be called leftism. It would be disrespectful to history to group what is going on now with what went on in the past; this is more than an extention and outgrowth of the types of liberal ideas and ideals that were active in the sixties.

I’ve seen students in videos acting like brainwashed hitler youths, shouting down well reasoned statements of facts, when those facts are not in line with feminist thoughts. Young people! My god, what the hell happened!

.

There is no way in hell this is sustainable, but this is so extreme, so powerfully entrenched… Historically the swings from such extremes are violent. Guns and bombs and years of war violent. I have no fucking clue how you guys are going to get yourselves out of this mess. It looks BAD. Really fucking incredibly bad.

I’m not a Trump supporter (and even less of a Hillary supporter). I haven’t followed closely at all, but my dim impressions so far are that those on the left take it as a given that he is very scary bad, yet rarely if ever explain exactly why. That’s a huge tell. Argument by eye rolling. No, I don’t know why, no I don’t share your assumptions. Why?

But I do hear that he lies a lot and says stupid shit totally disconnected from reality. Ok, lots of other presidents also did. I hear some of his political appointments are out of touch with a science based view of consensual reality, and some are business as usual pro-oil or pro entrenched corruption elite businessman class. I probably shouldn’t bother talking – I really haven’t been following. I know he rose to power by appealing to those who are not identity-politically social justice warriors. What his REAL agenda is, I’m not sure if anyone knows. I never understand why voters think they know. The political process is nearly completely opaque to all of us, isn’t it? Will we never learn that campaign promises are empty? Trump used identity politics to win, but someone please let me know what identity politics related new laws have passed while he’s in office?

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From Jack Murphy on Twitter:

Jack Murphy‏ @jackmurphylive

I try to escape my bubble as much as a I can. My old face book page is 99% my old life. So I go back there every once in a while just to see what the nut jobs are up to. But this last time was a stark reminder to never go back. A short story of the times:

I have this old “friend.” We met in the 90’s. We were ravers. We broke into warehouses, danced + took drugs. We rebelled against the “man”. We were culture warriors at a time when the culture war meant more freedoms for all. Now she’s a lawyer and has become the establishment.

She has a law degree from Georgetown University. She was a clerk at the Supreme Court. She left a high paying Big Law job to become a federal public defender, because she has the luxury of choosing whatever career she wants. She owns a home, has a dog, and is single.

The other day while she was checking in through security at a courthouse she doesn’t usually go to, the security guard said to her, “and what is your business at the courthouse?” She replied, I’m a lawyer. And that was that. She wasn’t impeded, she wasn’t delayed. Nada.

It so happens this day was also the day I chose to take a quick peak into my old facebook world. and what do I see from her? SEXISM IS ALIVE AND WELL IN AMERICA TODAY The first comment was “MEN ARE TRASH” The rest of the comments were equally as bad. “MEN MUST DO BETTER”

She was wildly offended that the minimum wage minority worker asked her one single question about why she was at the courthouse. She took this to mean that misogyny and sexism were still rampant across America and that ALL MEN ARE TRASH and ALL MEN MUST DO BETTER.

Me, being me, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. So I asked her, what was the negative impact on her life? I presented several other viable reasons why he might’ve asked her that other than misogyny, + then I pointed out that he was a min wage minority worker and she the privileged.

She raged on me. And at no time could she understand that she lived a life of “privilege” She went to Georgetown, was a lawyer, a clerk at the Supreme Court, owned a home and did whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. Yet, to her, MISOGYNY is alive and well in the US today.

Her other friends piled on, they all called me a woman hater, etc. When I pointed out that “MEN ARE TRASH” wouldn’t sound so good if you said “BLACKS ARE TRASH” or “JEWS ARE TRASH” they didn’t like that much either. These are the most privileged people around acting like this.

Once upon a time this woman was punk rock. She hated authoritarians. She hated “the man.” But now, she has become the authoritarian establishment. Rage Against the Machine is now the Machine. The world is turned upside down, and it’s not getting any better. It’s getting worse. 

After 26 years of “friendship” – this woman blocked me on FB + has effectively ended our relationship, because of her blind rage. How did we get here? How can a woman who runs in the MOST ELITE circles of life still believe she is oppressed? By a min wage worker no less!?

If the absolute most privileged of all women still thinks she is oppressed today, then we have a serious fucking problem. I feel bad for her. I feel bad for her friends. But these people now run our institutions. THEY WORK ON THE SUPREME COURT This is not a delusion.   

Yesterday’s rebels are today’s authoritarians. The most privileged among us think they are oppressed. The ones with the power and money think they are enslaved. All because a minimum wage worker asked her one silly question. The world is on it’s head and we’re all suffering.

She’s an avatar for feminism and the future: mid 40’s single childless she smokes she drinks she overindulges and she’s got be lonely, sad, and confused. she followed the “plan” and what did it get her? a simmering rage ready to burst out at slight provocations.

She did everything she was supposed to do, and yet she’s miserable and therefore the world around her is miserable. more than half of people in their 20’s and 30’s are unmarried. There’s going to be many more of this type of woman in the future. Angry, sad, w/$$ and power.

 

This is why you got Trump. This is why 9 million people left the Democrats and Voted GOP. This is why the culture war rages. — If you liked this thread, you’re gonna love my book. It’s about all of this and a ton more. Check it out: