Ken left a great comment that makes a good standalone post.
I think getting into qigong and meditation would be vital for the 60 year old guy. He needs everything he can to build attraction and qigong and meditation really helps with the internal stuff.
Also some workshops in tantric sex is a great way to learn sensual and erotic intelligence.
Mens workshops that work with masculinity is a great way to work deeply with masculine energy.
Learning some form of martial art would help a lot.
There are good qigong resources here including stuff that works specifically on sexual energy:
This exercise is great for building up sexual energy:
The standing meditation postures horse stance and San Ti she are especially good for building masculine energy.
For game/inner game I would highly recommend these two guys:
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheFearlessManTV
Sans company has some great programs:
I think their approaches jive well with Xsplats approach and I think they would be much healthier alternatives than what is often recommended to guys.
The No More Mister Nice Guy book can be very helpful. So can the Forum connected to the book:
http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/forums/
This book is good too:
Some therapy is often very helpful in addressing psychological issues that may underpin some of the issues one has with women.
Best of luck. Never too late to start.
Once again I want to thank you for your comment. I suppose I might harp on a bit too much about the popular crowd of people looking for excuses and scapegoats for why they suffer and feel mistreated. Although 90% of absolutely everything is shit (books, movies, political movements, etc), and although most hurting men are looking for the fastest way to feel better – which is to collectively scapegoat, there really is a big movement of men who try to help each other self improve and take the serenity prayer seriously. I was looking at the red-pill reddit and was heartened to see very little whining and quite a lot of positivity and actionable content and guys posting their progress and giving tips on what to actually do to improve their lot.
So good to see. Hopefully I overestimate the negative effects of the old big three R’s. Each R once deserved to be a loud voice to a large group, but each slowly morphed and changed and either got corrupted, overstretched their abilities, stagnated, or went slightly mad. So again, so heartening to see a comment like yours which is simple sanity and goodwill with practical actionable advice.
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Qi-gong and meditation are like lifting weights. It’s a required maintenance, and if you really get into it you get noticeably more attractive.
Actually chi-kung can be a spiritual power, in any sense that such a concept can be meaningful to you.
Lately my sex drive has been low. I’ve been living with the same lovely young girl for 10 months, and even though she is extremely easy to live with and constantly shows great interest and effort, this last week I noticed myself neglecting my manly duties in bed.
Today I put on some high powered music – the live stage show version of the War of the Worlds, and did some higher power chikung than the weak punk ass chi-kung I’ve been doing lately, then forcibly threw my girl down on the bed and licked her up before ravaging her to multiple orgasms.
It was about time. I’d gotten a bit complacent. How much power and love and mojo and sexual heat I carry in my body is a personal choice. It can be enough to maintain sex multiple times a day with the same girl, if I keep a strong practice up and the girl is compatible.
Or I can let my body and mind slide and the passion will fizzle. It’s got nothing to do with hypergamy – that’s all on me – all within my domain of control. Just like lifting weights.
In fact today is also gym day. And tomorrow I won’t be eating any food. Looking my best and having strong loving spiritually powerful sexual mojo is a choice, but it takes constant renewal and effort. It’s not just a matter of what words to say, it’s a lifestyle choice that requires constant maintenance.
Feeling chi-kung strongly requires a bit of willingly being kind of special. Personally I don’t have metaphysical beliefs that chi is a “real” thing, and consider it the kinesthetic sense, that maps onto subconscious body and emotional process as a type of synesthesia. Synesthesia is where people see colors associated with letters, or hear sounds associated with shapes, etc. Chi-kung can make conscious and under control what is usually below our threshold of perception and control, and to feel it strongly requires a kind of giving in to being something very different than a normal man. You become extra-ordinary. You can, with practice and if you want, feel great power in your sex chakra, and a huge heart of heat and love, and energy above your head, and a sea of deep rooted self below your feet. Or you can just mildly feel a ball of something between your palms and wave that around. You can go as deep and big as you like, or just mildly touch in. Obviously when you go deep you feel a great deal more during sex, and sex becomes chi-kung sex, and this effects the woman greatly. The more you feel, the more she will feel. Mirror neurons are a thing.
Update: Wilber said:
Good Qigong:
Zhineng Qigong has a very good reputation and is also thought online I think (same system as Chilel qigong and Wisdom healing qigong).
Primordial Qigong thought by Michael Winn is an unusually powerful and deep form and easy to learn through DVD. Winn also has a bunch of practices relevant to building sexual energy (his sexual vitality qigong series) and learning energy sex (his healing love program):
He also has a free ebook on the inner smile.
The Kundalini Awakening Process (KAP) in Glen Morris tradition is very good and powerful and their secret smile technique may be one of the best inner game tools and energy sex tools there is. Morris Path Notes book is also a great read about Kundalini and related stuff. KAPs level 2 has very good teachings on energy sex (dual cultivation)
Springforestqigong is highly regarded and can be learnt through DVD.
Standing meditation is very useful. It gives a deeper embodiment than perhaps anything else. It gives a ton of Chi Kung energy. And some of the poses build tremendous masculine energy. Horse stance both in very deep and higher stances produce a ton of testosterone. the San Ti Chi posture also create loads of alpha male energy.
A meditation system that is good for both reaching high levels of enlightenment within a relatively short time frame (not THAT many years) and reaching unusually deep levels of concentration (shamatha) is Culadasas system. Read his book the Mind Illuminated and check out the reddit community connected to his book.
For deeper sexual partner work Bruce Frantzis Taoist Sexual Meditation book is by far the best I have come across. Better than all tantra books I have read combined. Though Diana Richardsons tantra books are a nice addition for a basic neo tantric take on things.
Random Xpat Rantings 
Hi xsplat, I’m have been reading your blog for 8 months since I found out that your view about love and man-woman relationship is same with the one I want to develop.
Recently, I came across a book with similar view, the book is “Secrets of the Sex Masters”
Although there are interviews about many sex masters, the main theme of the book is to make love you first love to give and take love. The book also emphasis on spiritual sex like Tantra sex and Daoist sex.
Could you spend some time to read and review the book? (I could send ebook link to you through email) Is this book a good beginning to develop love and practice spiritual sex like the view you have?
Thank you
Yes, please send it to my email, which you’ll find in the contact page.
I think this comes down to the body being the primary thing, and the thinking organ being more of the secondary appendage. Not a whole lot of thinking going on in a nematode, but they get along fine.
Chi-kung therefore is a really physical thing bringing physical effects to the body (even if you aren’t actually moving). All the knock on effects then are just from the body being in a different state. Suffused with air, sure, circulating blood better, maybe. All of which lead to better everything, because after all if you’re going to be piloting this pile of dirt, it might as well operate at the top level.
You can see this in animals too — some cats appear to practice chi-kung when they sit in rapt attention. You can feel their presence, small though they are, even before you see where they’re watching you from.
I’m thinking that our emotional state is also just a knock-on effect of our physical body’s operating condition, as well as what our beliefs say about the world. There have been a lot of studies around this where changing a person’s posture first allows them to be more dominant, commanding, and happy, versus most nincompoops approach of “change your mind first!”
Yes, you can say that the body is primary. But some people prefer to think that there is not a distinction between body and mind.
Today I’m learning about the Penrose/Hameroff theory of how onsciousness is related to quantum activity in the millions of microtubules that are in each neuronal cell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXFFbxoHp3s or youtube search Penrose or Stuart Hameroff and quantum consciousness.
It’s the most reasonable solution to the hard problem I’ve ever come across. Looking more and more the way consciousness will be studied.
Of course the mind has to be studied on many different levels, from psychology to memetics to neurobiology to endocrinology etc etc. You can’t totally reduce any level meaningfully to others.
Here’s a bit of an odd question, but it might be relatable to you:
I’m always trying to develop my intelligence – not only in the sense of IQ, but also not NOT in the sense of IQ. I want all aspects – music, logic, visuo-spatial, math, whatever.
Anyway, I have recently come to believe that the navel chakra / lower dan-tien / gut-brain / call-it-what-you-will is essential to this pursuit.
And I feel that that area of energy is the least enlightened, and the most dull in terms of cognition (I can kind of “see” synesthetic representations of thoughts emanating from that part of my PNS, and they don’t look very smart – they always seem to jump to conclusions as it were).
I also feel that this part of my extended thinking-apparatus is the most confused and unwilling to see the greater good, whereas the heart and mind seem more willing to go along with the Great Tao or whatever you want to call it.
I’ve had glimpses of proper gut-thinking and it looked synesthetically like much more rapid forms of creativity and visuo-spatial manipulation (oddly enough) than I’m used to. Come to think of it, I think there is a clear connection between certain kinds of visuo-spatial logic operations, and the gut / navel area. No idea why, but that is how it presents to me. I will try to think a certain “high IQ” thought but then get a feeling of anxiety and nausea in my gut, indicating that the limiting factor lies in whatever thought-processing occurs there. Perhaps it is only a certain intestinal steadiness that I lack to think those thoughts, or perhaps the gut-brain is actively resisting linking-up with the body-mind’s central line of thought.
(I’ve a slight hunch that this is GABA-related somehow).
Do you think I am on to something here? Are there cognitive gains to be gained from developing the lower dan-tien in particular?
Adyashanti talks about “awakening from the gut”, perhaps that is related?
This link confirms what I wrote above:
https://www.energygatesqigong.us/tan-tien-chi-kung/lower-tan-tien-as-the-second-brain.html
“Recent advanced research confirms the ancient Taoist insight, gained over a long period of inner observation, that the lower Tan Tien is a key source of intelligence. It actually supplies the brain with the basic orientations, data and information which it can then process. It turns out to be full of neurotransmitters. This is why I like to compare the brain to the hardware of the computer and the organs to the software. The organs feed the brain with information and it depends on the quality of the organs and what is transmitted to the brain what is processed. So the quality of the organs and the way they are activated by the brain affects the outcome.”
More on the gut and cognition:
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140221-can-gut-bugs-make-you-smarter
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3463494/
https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/baby-poop-science-iq-tests-microbiome/
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/06/gut-bacteria-on-the-brain/395918/
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/05/130528180900.htm
Interesting questions.
Sorry for the late reply. We’ve been traveling. I haven’t quite settled on the best city for my next venture. Indonesia, Phillipines, China. I’ve had feet on the ground in several cities in each, and China is just too damned competitive. Scary. If you can’t beat em…
My broad opinion about energetic body setups is that it’s a two-fold organization. There are some basic circuits that are innate, and some that we build.
And even the basic ones are interpreted individually.
We all likely see the color red in a similar way, however the rush of energy up the spine that is broadly categorized as kundalini has had countless different personal interpretations. Despite the variance, it’s still a rush up the spine, for many.
Other energetic circuits need to be built with meditation. We create fantom limbs. Or they are spontaneously built.
Yesterday I installed a bit of software that makes my cursor have a glowing blue flame of bits of little dots coming out of the tip. There is a keyboard shortcut to turn it on. So I turned it on, and could vaguely see it. However it was not on. My mind filled in the gaps, and I saw something that was not there. It’s common – I’m not crazy – if you look for something, you can see it, with practice or by accident. People see auras in a similar way. Chi-kung also can work like that, however it’s not just random, and not merely insane.
So, broadly, chakras, and the spine seem to be general shared circuites that are interpreted, and don’t require much building. But they do require some building.
The chakras in the belly are shared experiences even of non-meditators – just as the heart is. People feel heartbreak in their heart area, and lust in their belly.
But much of it is going to be personal. I can’t tease out which is which.
It doesn’t matter a whole lot. If it’s meaningful and informative to you, then just trust and go with that, however be a bit careful not to be too delusional. It’s a fine line between trusting your intuitions and thinking you have mind reading powers that no one else understands.
There is a lot of leaway though. You can build up worlds of informative circuits, and they don’t need to correspond to what you read in books. It’s your own body and mind, and you have permission to use it.
Thanks, Xsplat, makes sense. I have more or less objective evidence that every time I went “I know my gut doesn’t like this person, but I’ll try some business anyway” it always failed. So now I pick business partners based on lack of negative gut feeling. That’s something, at least. The positive gut-feeling, to contrast with the above, is much more all over the place, however. Ie something feels “go for it” but that might be a temporary mood, unlike the negative gut indicator which is much more reliable (at least when it comes to people).