Long term men’s blog readers will know of the trend for manosphere bloggers to fall off the map, never to be heard from again.
Some writers make a public announcement of a change of direction. It’s usually either that they have settled down in a pair bond, or are planning to.
Some are aware of how they’ve hamstrung their own efforts at pair bonding by building up frames of reference and habits that are at odds with the venture.
These memes are superfluous and outright detrimental even to casual dating and even to pump and dump. Memes such as fake it until you make it, irrational self confidence, confidence is king, and alpha fucks and beta bucks are all detrimental to dating, and severely detrimental to mating.
I’ve been trying for years to talk not only about dominance, but dominance within a framework of emotional sensitivity. They go hand in hand. Lately I’ve also been talking more about improvisation, and right brained whole body authentic in the moment presence.
So I really don’t know how guys who have been careless with their memes are going to transition into having a live in partner.
When you practice picking up girls, you are practicing a certain skill set.
When you live with someone, the skill set is overlapping, but distinct. There is a Venn diagram of skill sets.
So if you plan to eventually mate, I’d suggest that you not only practice dating, but also practice long term relationships, and practice living together.
I’d be hard pressed to count the number of women that I’ve lived with in the past. * And as I’ve also dated multiple women concurrently, in a loving pair bonded way for most of them, I’ve had practice in the pair bonding related skill sets for decades, and a lot of it.
If you want to be good at something, it helps to practice it. There are different types of relationships, and if you are practicing one type, it does not follow that you will be good at a different type.
But my contention is and has always been that it’s stupid and insane to make a false dichotomy and distinction between being the fun guy and being the provider.
Intimacy without commitment happens always – even during long term monogamous living together. It’s always day by day, no strings attached. It’s always fun. It’s always intimate. There is never any box or separation.
You fuck her every day as if you’d just met. And role play as if you are both little sluts. And bond and laugh as if you accept each others inner little whore. And be good to each other like best friends. It’s not a bunch of different rooms, it’s all one house with many rooms in it – all doors open and unlocked.
* Counting in my head I got 8, then on paper I remembered 11 girls that I have lived with full time. Many more girls who would visit and sleep over most nights were not counted in the 11.