At 54 I’m sure that I’m the only guy in my city who can do certain fitness routines. I like cardio with increasingly heavy weights, and combine it with free form dance. It looks like a fucking superpower, and no one comes close. Heavy cardio so fun.

24 kg barbell one hand curl and press above my head at 10 reps per arm has so far always been my max strength, but that tends to cause muscle rips and other injuries. Therefore lower weights; any weight; cardio and dance, slowly working up.

I saw one other man with a hot and shockingly younger girl in this city. Looks like his daughter. He’s fit and strong too. But not as fit and strong as me, and my girl is hotter. Hehe. Fuck you, yes, it IS a contest.

Gym bureaucrats invariably are puffed up with big huge useless show muscles that can’t do anything. The beauty of dancing with heavy barbells is that when they get jealous they can’t accuse you of harming the equipment with strength.
“You’re going to HURT yourself!” “You are going to break the wire, and hurt the equipment!” Translation; you are going to make me look bad in front of my friends and hurt my self esteem.

The test of how cool a very large and muscled man is, is how he reacts after you use the gym equipment directly after him, at double the weight and 5 times the reps. Some not cool at all.

“Borrow” the equipment that clique of huge muscle men are using, and see if being way stronger gets you invited into their clique. Nope. They’ll fucking hate you. But quietly, and under their breath.

“Hey, stop showing off!” ???$?%#?$ It’s a fucking gym. Arnold used to go to gyms and pose in front of the mirror, admiring how much he was winning. The whole point of a public gym is to show off; to use that competitive motivation to make you super-fucking-human.

“Yes, I AM better than you. Who here want’s to do a competition? Anyone? Let’s go! RRRaaaagh! Ok, you win this time. But I’ll be back!”

I don’t want to hear no keyboard jockeying complaining about Gillette ads. You got a problem with the idea of toxic masculinity? The gym doesn’t care about ideas. Shut up and lift heavy, and punch big bags heavy. Be proud and compete.

And take those boxing gloves off! You think you’ll have time to wrap your wrists when you need your fists?