I’m listening to some JJ Cale on Youtube, after reading in comments of a Clapton tune that he was the author. He’s not popularly known, but is seen of as a musicians-musician. Popular and influential to musicians, who often cover his stuff.
“chi-kung” I was just going to recommend that.
That’s good to hear. I’m hearing more guys start to talk about meditation and chi-kung.
I read long ago that there are hubs of influence, and that inputs into that hub make the 6 degrees of separation connections.
So although I’ve had my own blog for going on 10 years, most of my influence, I think, will have come from posting on other blogs, or from writers reading my blog, chewing on my ideas and fitting them into their own.
Meditation is widespread in the culture, and a natural fit to self improvement, however it’s great to see people fit that seamlessly into their notions of game, and if I’ve had any influence to add more momentum to that ball, that would be cool.
I used to never hear about people not coming during sex. Now that seems to be a thing.
Chi-kung was extremely fringe back when I was in the states. Like a favorite album in a record collection though, it somehow started to catch on in my community, after people caught wind of it, seemingly from hearing it first from me. And again it was the bigger influencers that were the hubs – I just happened to influence the influencers.
This is a reason why I sometimes take pains to correct harmful views of major influencers, and have done so with Roissy, Rollo, and Roosh. I know for sure that my efforts have seen good fruits. Although I do seem to remain rather invisible.
Do you remember how you came to learn about Chi-kung?
..
I was unclear – I’ve written extensively about harmful views, in many blog posts and comments, however it’s never been the influencer who changed his opinion, but the readers of the influencers.
The sphere, on the whole, has been correcting itself. In places it gets mighty fucked up, but as it grows, it’s been self-correcting.
That’s very important to me, personally, and some people can’t seem to understand why. As if caring about your brothers is an impossibility. Or worse yet a social faux-pas imposition.
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Original comment that Yohami replied to:
Xsplat said: My method to keep girls attached is frequent sex, which usually means meeting two and sometimes more girls per day
Per day??? Or per week?
I should have included in the comment that I don’t really have that system working in my life right now – only two girls I see, and I’m not trying to keep them exclusive. Before that also my situation was not about running around seeing the girls all the time.
I was talking about what I was doing about two years ago, and for some years before that. Yes, per day.
A dozen years or so ago I started to have experience with seeing two girls in the same day. Made me feel like a king! Wow! So naturally I turned that happenstance into a lifestyle. Then a lifestyle system.
So I became quite comfortable with seeing at least two girls in a day. To manage the libido I managed my orgasms, and did chi-kung and lifted weights, ate well, plenty of rest, etc. With that system libido was never a limiting factor – only time was.
Lately I’ve almost forgotten how to fuck. To my surprise I’m coming more. I guess I don’t want to be holding so much libido in my body, because I don’t have enough lovers that I’m into to share that high voltage energy with. I think a lot of guys also don’t feel too comfortable being too horny – we relase that tension with jerking off. But releasing that tension becomes a habit that is difficult for the body to break. I’m going to have to go back to kindergarden and relearn what was once just a natural habit – as if I’m learning to drive a car again after a bad stroke.
I do think it’s down to not having appropriate lovers.
Like I said, I turned a happenstance into a lifestyle, into a lifestyle system. I’ve thought deeply about and systematized what works and why. Having three or more girls, and occasional dates, greatly increases my libido. Increased libido when increased opportunity is natural to mammals, and is called the Coolidge effect. Chi-kung and not coming GREATLY increases this effect.
So ya on some days I’d see three or four girls. I remember 5 visits one day, and I was still horny. Thats tail end of the bell curve, but it’s not down only to high libido – it’s also the full system working.
About keeping girls on a once per week rotation, ya, I did that once, although I tend not to because if I’m into a girl why not see her more? Both usually want it. I didn’t see that girl more, because I was ONLY into the sex, and preferred other girls for hanging out time. Later I’d see her more often, but usually leaving one girl in my bed, and then going to visit the fuck buddy in the middle of the night. Later we did see each other more – sexually it got quite intense – I think I came 11 times with her once – probably my record.
But anyway, I wanted to make the distinction between having a harem, and having a fuck buddy. If she is not exclusive – if she has her own harem, it’s not really a harem, is it?
Random Xpat Rantings 
Hey, man. Thanks for the comments on my blog.
>> A dozen years or so ago I started to have experience with seeing two girls in the same day.
And at this point I assume you mean you are fucking these girls.
I have DATED 2+ girls in a day, but have never fucked 2 girls in the same day. And certainly not as a lifestyle.
>> I think a lot of guys also don’t feel too comfortable being too horny – we relase that tension with jerking off.
I haven’t jerked off in months. I want that sexual tension, so if I’m not having sex… I am “storing it up.” I find that makes me much more “clear” with girls, improves my vibe, etc. I highly recommend it. I’ll never go back.
I love porn. I “edge” sometimes. But I don’t jerk off anymore. Only orgasm with women… for a reason. It helps my game.
>> if I’m into a girl why not see her more? Both usually want it.
Lance Mason makes this great comment:
“Another reason why I suggest you take things slowly, because this is a machine, that if you’re operating it correctly, it only moves in one direction. When you understand that it only moves in one direction… you’re like, ‘you know what, let’s not go too fast. Let’s just take it one step at a time.'”
This is ^ true, in my experience.
I don’t think you personally run your relationships this way, but this makes sense to me.
Relationships are like a noose… that gets tighter with time, but never loosens up. That’s what Lance means when he says “only goes in one direction.” That is my experience as well.
So… in relationship, if I want free time (even down the road), I never suggest that “everyday” is a good idea, even when it’s new/sparkly. Same with texting… I never “over text” because I know I won’t want to keep that up.
“How it starts is how it goes.”
1X per week is perfect for me, and I recommend it. It gives you time to see more than one girl. And it gives you time to have something going on BESIDES the girl in question (work on your life). And it makes you miss each other.
1X per week sex… is HOT.
Yes, I didn’t even realize that I was using a euphemism when I wrote that. Seeing of course means fucking. I don’t really date.
I tend to not sleep alone, so seeing two girls in a day can be as simple as changing which girl sleeps with me. Oops, there I go again. Fucking two girls can be as simple as morning sex plus evening sex with the next girl who stays over.
I see what you mean about escalating time.
However I have done it in reverse. You’re right that the reverse direction isn’t easy or natural unless a lot of time has passed, and that expectations do get set up.
My character seems to usually bring out high expectations for relationships from girls, no matter what I say, and seemingly no matter how I structure my time. I like to be loving, and that in itself seems to set up expectations.
Ya, hot is good. Like fucking a married girl or a girl with a boyfriend can be hot, once a week could add hotness.
I’m used to a more romantic passion type of hotness, so usually escalate that part pretty fast – it’s what I enjoy most in relationships – so much so that I never even introduce myself to tourists. I simply don’t even want one night stands. I’m all about the LTR.
My history is about owning girls – that’s a huge part of the satisfaction for me. Putting them to work, making them my tribe, being their center of being.
Which is not a recommendation, just a character. It’s more than just my preference, it’s my self.
Oh, and thank you for your blog. I’ve been enjoying it.
It might not be you personally, but that is called being ahead of the curve. It comes from people noticing something is wrong and verbalizing it, and some will say it before others because they are effected or notice it sooner.
It’s kind of like how scientific discoveries can be found independently, but they always tend to be around the same time. Why are they found around the same time, because the environment of knowledge that they grew up in cultivated them.
Ya, that happens too.
Pros and cons to being ahead of the curve, just like pros and cons to wide IQ gaps. Alienation, frustration in communication, loneliness, and potentials for anger and bitterness all can happen from gaps, and quite famously do; it’s a well studied effect, and has well studied very negative consequences.
But it doesn’t have to; the mitigating factor of course is a community of peers. And reaching out and sharing to others ready and willing to learn and share. Then being ahead of the curve can be great fun.
And of course just a little ahead of the curve is psychologically a nice sweet spot.
I quite enjoy being behind the curve. So much to learn, and that’s a pleasurable pastime.
I used to recommend the manosphere to people I knew. I can’t do that any longer.
But contrary to Xsplat, it is not because many writers oppose mass immigration. Any sane person will do that. The two train stations I pass by every workday, and the city center, show how White women are harassed by immigrants. The rampant crime statistics show more, and it is crime on a level never seen before. Try to tell me I’m wrong and you’re just keeping your eyes closed.
No, what annoys me with the manosphere today is the bitterness and snide attitude toward women – regardless of the writer’s opinion about politics. I guess this has an obvious explanation: the leading voices have grown older, and they are unmarried and childless. Few in that state retain a positive view of the women they can’t have. Few will blame themselves.
They are constantly talking about how there are “gorgeous” Russian women just waiting for American men to come and get them. As if the women who seek this arrangement wouldn’t have the ulterior motives the writers accuse American women of having. This is a way to escape their own failure – by imagining that their value is still high in the rest of the world, just not among the bad women of their own people.
(And how are they “gorgeous”? I have seen Russian women. Anyone can just look up a Russian “dating” site. They are generally unattractive. Which West European women, aside from possibly British women, do they beat in looks? None. But West European women don’t live in empoverished countries ripe for sex tourism, thus the lusting for Russians.)
The snide attitude toward women is easiest shown with jargon such as “the tingles,” “the hamster wheel in their heads” and “hypergamy”. Someone who was actually familiar with women’s arousal would know that their sexual organs don’t “tingle,” they feel warm. But “tingle” sounds more insulting, so CH uses that constantly.
And “hamster wheel”? That women are less intellectual than men is clear. However, only a minority of men are intellectual – it’s just that the minority among women is even smaller. CH and the rest create a false dichotomy where men are intelligent and women have “hamster wheels”. It seems they meet as few men as they meet women.
As for “hypergamy” it’s ridiculous. Yes, women will want the best possible partner. Just like men do. But for women it’s called “hypergamy,” the “hyper” meaning they “can’t feel love, only men can feel love”. Women are supposedly always looking over your shoulder for someone better, and they will drop you immediately when they find one. Eeevil!
All of this is just to excuse the writer’s own failure. And even more important, excuse the failure of the permanent readers who don’t have a social life, and who provide the blog’s donations. The people who keep commenting over and over, every week, even every day, for the pleasure of seeing their own words in print, with all the usual jargon and arguments. Newcomers are chased out if they dare bring real-life experience from dates. They are laughed at for their “beta failure”. And if they date for the fun of having company, or to get to know a girl like normal people do before thinking of marriage, they are berated for “not marrying and having children”. This from losers who never leave the house.
Ah, but CH has banned the words “loser” and “creep,” for good reason it seems. Mustn’t make the veteran commenters/donors feel uncomfortable by holding up a mirror.
From the Xsplat post “Does The Manosphere Teach Learned Helplessness?”:
“The manosphere is allowing splinter groups to spin truth in order to provide comfort to guys who never learned how to maintain passion in long term relationships.”
This reminds me of an experiment. Groups of people were put in a dark room with a distant light that didn’t move, and they were told to determine if the light moved, in what direction and how much. The moles placed there by the researchers would insist that it moved a great deal back and forth. And they were able to sway the group, who didn’t want to argue with them.
In a similar experiment a group would share information over the phone, from person to person. A few moles would insist in a certain view, and the larger group would give in and let them have their way.
The conclusion was that a small but insistent minority, around ten percent, can sway a larger but disorganized group.
In other studies it has been shown that radicals usually win out in revolutionary movements, if those movements have any success. This is shown among leftist students occupying campuses in Mexico, for example. It was seen in the French Revolution, where the majority of the original leaders were not revolutionaries but reformers, who wanted a constitutional monarchy like in Britain. They were killed by the extremist Robespierre and his followers.
The radicals win because they take the movement’s ideas to their logical conclusion, and seem bolder and clearer by making the ideas extreme. Those with a more nuanced view are seen as cowards who don’t dare go all the way and “do what needs to be done”. This is what the masses want to hear. The masses are low on intellect and high on emotion, and they want easy solutions. Preferably solutions where they take from the opponents, even when they present themselves as the altruistic side.
Good comments.
Keyboard jockeying is also a big part of where things go wrong.
Rollo, for example, is a keyboard jockey. A married guy commenting on dating is nothing more than a guy watching TV being a Monday Morning football coach.
And when this is pointed out to him, he guides people to ask for pick up advice from his authorized right hand man, the dolt Yareally. Haha. What a cruel, horrible joke. Yareally has horrible online social skills, and Krauser says that he’s a clown who is nothing but a keyboard jockey.
The blind leading the blind; two keyboard jockeys, guiding people who are for the most part looking for guidance because they aren’t currently doing so great in their marriages, divorces, breakups, and dating lives.
Am I being overly critical?
No.
People are entitled to talk about what happens in their own life, and do their best to make sense of it.
Taking in terms of broad strokes about women, without constantly referencing back to ones own life is guaranteed to lead oneself and others astray. Especially when competing viewpoints are filtered out with confirmation bias. And Rollo has been pointed out as being extraordinarily arrogant in his confirmation bias pronouncements from on high. http://patstedman.com/2017/11/22/what-is-upstream/
That can really harm people.
Comments over at daysofgame.com:
xsplat said:
Krauser said: http://www.daysofgame.com/theory/tom-torero-thief-street-hustle-book-review/#comment-2658
I was wondering if I was sounding too critical. But I have been reading and contributing to the manosphere for well over ten years. I have dated, I have been in relationships in this time; I am in a great relationship now, very much thanks to advice I picked up, so I am grateful for the manosphere. But as you write:
People are entitled to talk about what happens in their own life, and do their best to make sense of it.
Taking in terms of broad strokes about women, without constantly referencing back to ones own life is guaranteed to lead oneself and others astray. Especially when competing viewpoints are filtered out with confirmation bias.
This is what I see in many places. For me, the most valuable posts and comments are those that are anchored in real life. I give a great deal of leeway to a guy who I may not entirely agree with, but who is writing something from his personal experience.
For example, when it comes to blogs about traveling to foreign countries – it is interesting to read, but I would recommend it only to a few people. Most men should not travel through South America or Eastern Europe for a few years I think, and most men should not move to the Philippines, where they don’t have a platform to stand on. But a few guys can make it. If I visit someone’s blog, I’ve made that choice and wasn’t dragged there, so I should listen when he talks about his life. Even if I wouldn’t tell most people to follow his example, he has an example to show. That is a real contribution.
“Let the man speak” is my attitude, but you quickly learn: anything you say about yourself becomes ammunition. What state or country you are from, what relationships you have been in, what you do for a living, what hobbies you have. Some permanent commenter will use it against you, with a post full of abstractions. And you better not say that you dated a chubby girl. I think I have seen a guy admit that only once – this in blogs with mostly American commenters. Where’s the honesty? Everyone has a college degree and dates “HB 8s” if they mention themselves at all. The newbie doesn’t stand a chance.
Sadly bloggers who speak from experience tend to have short-lived blogs. Eventually they have said all they wanted to say. Few remain a longer time.
I don’t know about YaReally – I have seen his name but didn’t think of remembering the posts and putting them in context. Well, memorizing jargon and such is not a good sign of course.