Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

Pimpology for the common man

Posted by xsplat on January 22, 2015

I hear all the time that men in the West can not aspire to healthy, loving, passionate relationships with Western women, because Western women have too much hand and are all fucked in the head.

I hear all the time that guys out west couldn’t perform my manoeuvres or they would get arrested under a false rape or domestic violence charge.

And yet, there are plenty of pimps and hoes in the West.

Yes, there are cultural differences, but the main reason that guys in the West do not even aspire to passionate mutually fulfilling romance is not because of the girls.

It’s because the guys have not built up the required muscles nor learned the rules of the sport of relationship, let alone practiced it. Dealing with girls requires mental muscle memory and fortitude, and as with any training, within the rules you find your art, dexterity, and improv. Men have not built up the muscles and skills because there are no personal trainers or gyms for effective long term game, and precious few modern examples are visible and vocal. Without proper guidance men get ruined in relationships. Do anything the wrong way and you’ll get bad results.

Don’t blame women. Don’t blame the courts. Don’t blame the culture. Pimps ignore all of that. Dealing with women requires hard won skills, and endless personal and inter-personal development.

What kinds of girls become hoes and belong to pimps? All kinds. From what socio-economic background? From all backgrounds. A woman isn’t born a hoe. She has to be converted. Does a pimp worry about being interrogated for regret rapes while he is giving the girl the bait and switch? There is a term called pimp-hand. Are pimps worried about domestic abuse laws?

While cultural differences are too obvious to be denied, what is usually denied is the fundamental red-pill realities of cross-cultural female hard wiring. WOMEN respond in a certain way, to certain stimulus, cross culturally. Hoes are converted in the same way globally. They become hugely attached – to the point of wilful slavery, to their pimps. One famous pimp author claims that while some pimps do use occasional violence, the deliberate subjugation of the will of the woman is entirely “a mind game”.

There are many things a man can offer a woman, but one offering most men (even red pill aware men) will deny is this: the skillful application of dominance. Hand.

People think that in SEA girls are more submissive. They are, but they aren’t. SEA is hugely matriarchal. In this society grown men are near universally weak momma’s boys who will ask their mother for permission for who to marry. Westerners who come out here generally date uglier, older, darker broads and wind up pushing the baby stroller. Women are, by nature, every where on this planet built to fight tooth and nail, constantly, for hand and dominance. And they usually, here and every else on this planet, succeed.

But, here, just as everywhere, a woman will respond a certain way to a man who she admires who gives her a combination of hard and romantic fucking who she can not dominate. A woman will always try to dominate. It is not just in the West. And a woman will always react a certain way when she does not dominate. It is not only in the East.

Here are a few examples. A few months ago a teenager approached me through my staff and arranged for a date. We fucked soon after meeting, and started off “the process”. The process includes opening up her sexuality and discovering our unique chemistry. You can’t have strong sexuality without bonding, and so naturally attachments also happen. Nobody has ever fucked her like I fuck her, and she’s used to much less wood, so the sex is cranked up to what for her is 11. She’s a tiny little girl, so it hurts her sometimes, even with lube, but she’s adjusting.

As a female, she considers her sexuality her hand. I’m supposed to only be able to get it from her, and she’s supposed to be able to dole out the scooby snacks as she sees fit, to train me up to be a good doggie.

But as a man my job is to do exactly the same. I want her to only get dick and paternalistic affection and money and security and a warm glow and all things good from me. And I want to be able to use real carrots and real sticks. As well as metaphorical carrots and sticks.

On one of the first dates, she came over to my house and was acting all standoffish. She lay on the bed watching porn on her phone, with the volume cranked up to give-me-attention. Naturally I went over to her and started groping. She shunned my advances by repeatedly swatting away my repeated gropings.

The deliberate tease was annoying – she was saying “See how much power I have over your emotions? I have all the goods and you can’t have any! Nya nya! I get to reject you!”

Whatever. Expressionless, I moved away and started practicing the contemplative art of eyes open chi-kung. She wouldn’t stand to be ignored and tried to continue with her game. So she comes over and starts pinching my nipples, grinding on me, and reaching into my pants. I again reach behind for a quick one handed bra unfastening. Again she rebuffs me.

The tease is starting to get on my nerves, so I head off to the can. As I’m walking out the bedroom door she calls out “no sex tonight!”

Still keeping the lid on my temper, I calmly tell her to go home. The date is over for the night.

She refuses.

I carry her out the door.

She fights me and clings to me and won’t be thrown out. It’s impossible to close a door on a girl who is fighting her way back into the room, and so I threw her across the piano conservatory through the arch into the next hallway. The aim was good so she didn’t flail into the door jamb. I close the door before she can make it back in the room.

She stands out there begging and crying and sending me text messages for 30 minutes, saying she is sorry, that it was only a joke, and can she please come back in. I reply a few times no, and to go back home, and then call up the maid and the handy-man to remove her from the premises.

The next day she lambastes me with sms invective; I’m such a bad, mean man, to treat a poor little innocent girl that way! I fucking rip into her hard. I call her out for having a heart as cold as a reptile, for being un-affectionate, for not giving head. She tries again and again to paint me as a bad man, and instead of apologizing I rip into her more; she should not fight a man and expect to win. She should have gone home when I asked her.

She tells me that she never wants to see me again, but I know better. I knew what would happen next. I knew she would not only be back, but be back a better woman.

Women don’t come off the shelf ready, any more than puppies do. You have to train them. Women aren’t puppies though; they come pre-conditioned. They are more like wild prairie horses. But even a wild mare can be broken and trained.

My super small Sally is now an affectionate little bundle of girl. She gives me massages and cuts my toenails, unprompted.

But today was another opportunity for discipline. I’ve given her an apartment here in Bali, and went over unannounced to pick her up this afternoon. She saw that as an opportunity for some passive aggression in order to put me in my place, and dawdled. “Hurry up, let’s go!” “Where are we going?” “Out. Come on.” Dawdle dawdle dawdle. Dawdle finding her shoes, dawdle lacing up the left shoe, dawdle lacing up the right one. Finally she is all put together and ready, and I keep telling her to go out the door. She keeps telling me to go out the door first, and is cranky that I walked into her room in my dirty sandles. Over and over I tell her to go out the door, and then she wanders over to stand in front of the mirror, to play with her look.

I tell her that I’m going. Now. I walk at a casual pace to my bike. Put on my helmet. Start it up. Rev it. Honk the horn a few times. Slowly drive out. She stands in the door dawdling. So I leave.

I answer her many texts with only “You were too slow. I’ve gone out.”

There are many reasons that I have three girls all pursuing me and fucking me every day. They all have options. But there are reasons that year after year I’m still seen as the best option.

I’m a high value man for many reasons. Finances. Power as the boss over my group of Western and local staff. Chi-kung sex. Paternal affection. Wise life guidance. Strong genuine loving romance. There are all those marks of a high value man, and more.

But leaving her at her apartment today was one of the most valuable things she can get from a man, and one of the most rare.

Discipline.

In the next post I’ll talk about how providing the whole gestalt of high value manliness, including provisioning, social access, great sex, fun, loving romance, and discipline, work together to increase real sexual attraction. There is a lot of confusion about “alpha fucks/beta bucks” and “negotiated desire” that needs to be cleared up. Real sexual desire is measurable, and studies have been done about what arouses it. Some aspects of sexual attraction have cues that are behavior based (dominance and social skills), some have cues that are based on the behavior of others towards you (social proof and status), and some are purely looks based (height, muscles, and facial symmetry). The dominance aspect is gigantically undervalued, as it relates to successful long term relationships. In order to maximize ones potential for successful and mutually satisfying LTRs, a man MUST learn the fine arts of dominance.

Another teaser for the next post; I’ll be talking about alternating between taking away a womans free will and giving it all back to her.

Update: I visited her several hours later, and neither of us mentioned a word of what happened. We drove through heavy rain to a mall, had some ice cream then I sent her off to buy me some clothes. After that several passionate sex sessions, and she not only was more into kissing than ever before, but put in some new sexual efforts. That’s all the obvious and expected outcome.

Note that there was never any nagging or complaining. I prefer not to use a lot of words; I’m not pleading my case. Real actions and real consequences. Most of what needs to be expressed is done through body language and vocal tone. I have expectations from her, and my entire demeanour KNOWS that she will fulfill my expectations. Of course I would settle for nothing less! What kind of man would? And of course, that has an effect.

Even simple expectations, such as that she should wear a sexy dress whenever we go out, and wrap her arm around my elbow set the frame and reverberate. One expectation leads into the next, until she expects of herself to cook for me.

Regular readers will remember these old tried and true tricks, and may wonder if the game becomes rote and so loses it’s magic. Not to me it doesn’t. I allow myself to be affected by her becoming affected. I really love love and bonding, and the fact that love is temporary and illusory takes away none of it’s pleasure. Love is one aspect of the mutual pleasure of sex, and vice versa. And a girl doesn’t have to be a special snowflake to inspire delicious emotions from me. Feminine and hot goes a long way.

Posted in Uncategorized | 15 Comments »

Self hypnotic lies are valuable, but truth is best if you can handle it.

Posted by xsplat on January 12, 2015

This post was written by redpillbanana and can be seen at the red pill reddit

“A harmful truth is better than a useful lie.” -Thomas Mann


The Useful Lie

Some of the advice given on TRP can be classified as a ‘useful lie’. It’s useful in that if you believe it, generally good results will happen. It’s a lie in that it is not always or necessarily true.

Examples of useful lies on TRP:

  • Height/race/looks/riches don’t matter, it’s all about your physical build/mental dominance
  • It’s your fault – “We can all be great if we just believe that we can be, and everyone will believe that we are great when we’re following through with our responsibilities to be great Men”

Tony Robbins (who I’m not the biggest fan of, but he often makes good points) said, “Achievers tend to believe that no matter what happens, whether it´s good or bad, they created it. If they didn’t cause it by their physical actions, maybe they did by the level and tenor of their thoughts. Now, I don´t know if this is true. Scientist have found no evidence supporting the idea that thoughts can create reality. But it´s a useful lie. This belief gives you control. That´s why I choose to believe in it.”

More general examples of useful lies:

  • There’s nothing you can’t do or achieve (counterpoint: if you’re 150cm tall, you’re not likely to make it in the NBA)
  • Nothing can stop you or hold you back (counterpoint: all it takes is one bullet)
  • Hard work and commitment always lead to success (counterpoint: many people work hard and never make it, others don’t work at all and have it all handed to them)

As you can see, these useful lies are common memes in our society, especially a ‘self-made man’ society like the USA. They can be powerful tools and can propel you to new heights if used properly.


Why Useful Lies Can Be Counterproductive

I’ll focus on the “It’s your fault” useful lie since it encompasses almost all the other useful lies.

“It’s your fault” is a lie because there are many factors in the world that are outside your control.

Examples of things that are not your fault:

  • You were born deformed, extremely short, or with a very unattractive face and people don’t respond well to you.
  • Drunk driver hits your car and kills many of your family members and you have a hard time motivating yourself as a result.
  • Your dad beat you to within an inch of your life every day until you turned 16 and it causes you pain and anger every day.
  • Your uncle molested you when you were young and you have trouble with sexual relationships to this day.
  • You contracted a rare cancer that leaves you unable to move normally.
  • When you turned 21, a huge economic slowdown happened that lasted for 20 years and you still have a tough time staying afloat.

Many of these things can be overcome with willpower and determination (see the story of Nick Vujicic for an incredible example), but taking responsibility for things outside your control can lead to unnecessary hurt and anger. This fictional but relevant scene from Good Will Hunting illustrates the point.

Sometimes you need to accept that things are not your fault in order to stop beating your head against a wall. This acceptance might lead you to working around your limitations rather than futilely working though them.


A Better Approach

A better approach is the cold, hard truth – knowing your exact situation, who you are, what you are capable of, and what your limitations are and how you can work around them. Generally, the more capable you are, the more important it is to be truthful about yourself, e.g. top athletes routinely have to work around their limitations vs. their competition.

A good approach advocated by the Stoics and Stephen Covey is to separate everything into two groups: things you can control and things you can’t control. Then focus on the things you can control. Eventually, as your influence and expertise grows, the group of things you can control will grow larger.

A TRP example:

  • You can’t control how women are wired – this was developed over billions of years of evolution, thus you can’t negotiate desire.
  • You can’t control the cultural forces that support the promiscuity and hypergamy of women, unless you become a cultural leader, thus don’t try to evangelize TRP.
  • You can control your response by learning the rules and adapting to the situation. Focus on that.

Ultimately, the choices you make and your responses in all situations will determine what your life will become. Viktor Frankl said it best when he said that “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” This is what separates us from the animals – we can choose our response to most stimuli.

By recognizing the useful lie as a tool that can be discarded when inappropriate, by relentlessly seeking the hard truth and stamping out rationalizations, and by knowing your strengths and weaknesses and what you can improve and what you can’t, you’ll have the greatest chance of making the right choices, and the greatest chance of success in all your endeavors.

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Finding the 3rd Key to Masculine Fulfillment in Bali

Posted by Dan Diaphon on December 25, 2014

Well, where to begin?

Months of anticipation, a journey lasting 2 full days… and now, I had arrived.

From our previous online conversations I already had a strong sense that Aaron and I would hit it off, which we did from my very first night here that we spent up on the rooftop talking and taking in the city.

The topics ranged widely, as is to be expected when those with a broad knowledge base meet; the highlights included gamifying life as well as the palpable feeling of freedom that can come with being out of the western world.

 

And as for meeting X for the first time?

It was surprising.

As Aaron introduced us and I shook his hand there were 2 things that struck me – his compact athletic frame and his positive, zen aura that imbues whichever room he is in.

This was instantaneous and happened before he’d even said “hi”.

After X gave me the tour of all 7 floors we parted – he to fuck whichever girl was over that night (I still don’t quite have all their names straight) and I to drop off my stuff in my expansive room, then up to the roof with a beer.

That was it.
No questioning.
No “so, how was your flight?” smalltalk.
Our entire initial meeting didn’t even fill a half-hour.

I wasn’t offended, and I wasn’t really relieved, but it was odd.

Later I concluded that I found it odd was because I was comparing it to the normal way that normal people interact.

X is not normal. But you, dear reader, probably already know that.

Over the following week we had several one-on-one conversations while Aaron was in Singapore taking care of some business. I quickly realized that, although seemingly aloof at times, when a conversation really began in earnest with him, they usually morphed into free-flowing idea sessions that only ended when interrupted by an appointment.

 

So, what can I say overall?

Just this, I have found 2 other men who have both the innate intelligence coupled with red-pill knowledge required that has resulted in me never again having to wonder, “will I ever find some guys who just get it?”

That question no longer exists for me.

I have found the 3rd key to masculine fulfillment: high-quality male companions.

It’s incredible, and I hope you find the same…

Happy Holidays,

Dan Diaphon

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Making love requires high level cognitive development

Posted by xsplat on December 19, 2014

So many things can go wrong for a developing brain.

And in order to maximize brain development, so many aspects of what it can do need to be trained up in concert.

Women have evolved to be able to quickly spot signs of physical and mental fitness. Now a lot of guys think that women don’t chose well; they are attracted to stupid brutes, and their choices can harm society.

And while it’s true that women don’t chose who to fuck based on math ability, it’s not right that the evolved instinctual preferences are stupid.

Let’s list again a few of the neuro-developmental problems that women quickly pick up on and quickly find unattractive:

  • Autism spectrum disorders
  • Atypical empathic responses as social deficits (sociopaths can be charming and display above average empathic ability)
  • Cluster A personality disorders, including
    • Paranoid personality disorder:  irrational suspicion and mistrust of others, interpreting motivations as malevolent.
    • Schizoid personality disorder: lack of interest and detachment from social relationships, apathy, and restricted emotional expression.  Schizoid personality disorder is sometimes called Dismissive–avoidant attachment style, and refers to people who don’t want to emotionally bond with a mate.
    • Schizotypal personality disorder: extreme discomfort interacting socially, and distorted cognitions and perceptions.
  • Cluster B dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders such as Antisocial personality disorder: disregard for and violation of the rights of others, lack of empathy, bloated self-image, manipulative and impulsive behavior.
    • Borderline personality disorder: instability in relationships, self-image, identity, behavior and affects often leading to self-harm and impulsivity.
    • Histrionic personality disorder: attention-seeking behavior and excessive emotions.
    • Narcissistic personality disorder: a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Sometimes narcissists get an initial edge in the dating market when compared to dweebs, but after their masks are seen through, they get a major disadvantage over people with more sophisticated neuro-development; girls break up with narcissists. Narcissism is less of a disadvantage for pump and dump, but is a death blow to long term relationships. And even for pump and dump it’s less effective than a well rounded confident developed persona.
  • Cluster C anxious or fearful disorders, such as
    • avoidant personality disorder: pervasive feelings of social inhibition and inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation.
    • Dependent personality disorder: pervasive psychological need to be cared for by other people.
    • Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (not the same as obsessive-compulsive disorder): characterized by rigid conformity to rules, perfectionism, and control to the point of satisfaction and exclusion of leisurely activities and friendships.

Skills that women find attractive that point to high communication between various functions of the brain:

  • Dancing.  Dancing coordinates body and mind and emotions, plus requires being in simpatico with your dance partners. The best dancing requires being able to experience flow moments.
  • Playing music, especially in a band.  Again coordinates body and mind and emotions, and the best music always involves flow moments.  Being in a band requires simpatico and coordination with others.
  • Sports.  Body mind and strategy coordination, and team sports requires extra social ability to read and respond to your groups signals.
  • Leadership.  Being socially comfortable at all is a high level skill that requires a well developed brain, however actually being seen of as a leader, and being effective at it is a display of many high level skills functioning effectively, over time.

And finally:

  • Love.  I’ve heard so many stories of people meeting impressive people, and instantly being captivated by the force of their open love.  In my own life I’ve chosen mentors based in large part on this amazing ability.  My Grandmother was an incredible force of love, and my Father was a powerful man too.  Love is a very high level skill, that requires tremendous neuro-development.  Buddhists train for decades and decades in order to be able to open in love.  And it really shows.  It not only has a dramatic effect on personal happiness and well being, but provides a  social edge – people are immediately affected by the force of interpersonal openness.

I remember the first few times that I had sex, I was stuck in the narrative in my head.  I was not embodied.  There was what I considered as “me”, this storyline, running along in my head who thought that it controlled my body like strings control a puppet.

I was not integrated.  I was divided up into pieces.  If there were emotions, I’d often struggle with them.  It wasn’t that I was happy or sad or angry or horny, it was that emotions were impinging upon me.  It got so extreme at times that it was closer to the truth to say that I was hearing voices in my head than that I was having thoughts.  My self was disjointed.  I was not embodying emotions, and was forever separate even from the contents of my own mind and body.

So of course I could not meld into my lover.  I could not even meld into myself!

Nowadays when I have sex, it might start out as mechanical, but quickly becomes genuinely spiritual.  I am finely tuned in to my own bodies sensations, in a non-dual way – I embody them, while at the same time having control over them.  Just like being into and singing a song – you can control the mood and tempo of the music, but you are IN the music.  I may be subtly squeezing and releasing my perineum, while feeling energy in a ball below that and through my legs and below my feet, while simultaneously feeling a big pond of hot sex lava in my belly, while simultaneously having a heart so full of love that it fills my whole chest and spills down my arms to warm up my palms, while at the same time having energy up my spine and into my third eye, while at the same time breathing energies in and out of the top of my head, while at the same time screaming my head off in high pitched squeals, or low forceful grunts, or soft repetitive cooings.

And the whole time I am so finely tuned into my lovers signals, that if she approaches orgasm I don’t notice it at all; instead I FEEL it.  In my own body I FEEL her approaching orgasm, and my own pleasure increases dramatically.  In fact if I’m not warmed up it will be difficult not to come myself.  But if I’m in my full flow moment, her sex feeling and mine combine, and we both know it and both feel it, and the power and energy rises and rises, and is mixed with erotic force and love.

Making love is a high level orchestration of mind and body, and requires great neuro-development.  It’s an ongoing development – there is no end to the sophistication possible.

Posted in Happiness, LTR Game, Meditation, Sex Chikung & Kundalini, tantric, Uncategorized | 12 Comments »

The emotionally impotent hamburger-autistics

Posted by xsplat on December 17, 2014

ass-burger
Autistics are not able to comprehend normal healthy human emotions such as love and bonding, nor are they able to experience or empathise with the pleasures of loving touch.

Those with milder autism, the hamburger-autistics who have ass-burgers, are high enough functioning that they are able to communicate their wonderment to the world at large.

“Why do people fuck?!! Why do men have emotions?!! What’s going on, can’t men see that it’s really stoopid?!”

In this internet age, every meme gets it’s own support group, and the support group for the hambur-tards is called men going their own way, or MGTOW for short.

A lot of what we become started out in the womb. The hormones we swim in alter our brain and body development. Some male embryos develop a feminine thinking style due to a low levels of testosterone in the uterus. And throughout the development years and even after we develop, our hormones affect our thinking styles. And our bodies.

I was glancing at some porn sites with a lover the other day, and she she showed me some disturbing pictures. There was a western man with an Indian lover, who was frequently having threesomes with his girlfriends boss. The western guy had an unusually small dick, and the Indian guys was just as unusually large.

A lot of people think that all men are some how or other deep down all created equal, that some how or other we are all deserving of the same amount of respect or good will or treatment or that our opinions are all equally valid, or some other la-la nether-neverland ephemeral bullshit.

All men are created what? Equal did you say?

I say take a look at the picture I saw. Two men holding their dicks up, side by side. That’s not equal. I bet the girl didn’t experience them as equal either.

I can hear the MGTOW guys argue back “But why should I let OTHER people define MY worth?” Uhh, because sex? Because the ability to cause sexual pleasure is a real, factual, actual, measurable truly existing worth? Because you might like to cause another person pleasure, because doing so is personaly pleasurable? Any of that registering? No? No. You already checked out of the conversation right after you asked the question.

During our perusing of performing online couples, we chanced upon a young burly guy with stamina, fucking away on his girl, and both of us nearly broke out laughing at how emotionless the guy was. “Oh, that guy doesn’t do it for me at ALL”. His face was placid. As if he had no clue what the word passion could possibly mean. Like he was just sawing wood – as if fucking were a physical function. Only. Not a screamer.

Emotional ability is similar to dick size. It’s very influential. Sexual charisma is all about how responsive YOU are. Not how much response you can get out of the girl, through special finger movements and thrust timings. It’s about how emotionally and sexually responsive YOU are.

It’s the same for girls. Yes, a great blow job counts for a lot – points for technique. But the most important thing is how responsive the girl is. How much she is into it. How orgasmic she is, how in the flow she is, how given over to passion she is, how red her cheeks get, how loud her screams get, how totally taken over by the moment she gets.

That’s emotional power. Very similar to dick size.

And just like dick size, it can be cultivated.

In fact there is an effective therapy used for asexual women. It is to simply practice being sensual. Carefully notice and enjoy each bite of each grape. Day after day mindfullness is attached to sensual pleasures, and the new practice strengthens neuron connections related to enjoyment of pleasure, and then the women learn to be sexual, and even orgasmic.

It’s the same for enjoying ones own emotions. And life.

My dick is a decent size for Asia. It’s modestly above western average, but if I were plowing fields in the west, there might be some advantage to me to jelk regularly and get an extra 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch growth. I hear that’s a reasonable and common result, and takes about six months. And if I had a micropenis like that guy in the picture had, you are damn right I’d save every penny and get some surgery. A man needs to compete. I mean sure, we all play to our strengths, and most weaknesses can be overlooked, but we even have to shore up our weaknesses, if we can. I’m balding, and I wear hats now. I’m short, so I’m in South East Asia.

But guys are out there not only laying down to die, but “explaining” to other men that all men should lay down to die also, because something or other that has to do with it isn’t only losers who are losers and it’s not their own personal fault that they are losers and losers aren’t really losers and winners are actually the real losers.

I like to love and fuck attractive young women, so naturally I’ve found common interests in the wider manosphere and PUA types of sites. A diverse lot chimes in, including the man-boobed ass-burgers.

Here is a comment from yesterday over at the goingyourownway micro-penis-circle-jerk forum.*

*And what else should I call a group of incels and spergs who pat themselves on the back for being unable and unwilling to compete in the sexual marketplace? Is it shaming language? Look, for the most part I see MGTOW guys as lazy fat socially retarded idiots, who have no clue as to how inept they are, and who group together into a woman-haters-club of relationship fail. If that’s not shameful I don’t know what is. Being fat in itself is shameful. Fat fatties are fat. Refusing to even try to sexually compete? Ya. Sorry but I’m not sorry. Go ahead and roll over and die, but don’t expect to be lauded for it. If it were my son doing that I’d use shame and anything else possible to slap him out of his indulgence and work and compete. Get some fucking ambition.

I have observed before that women live to experience feelings. Good feelings, bad feelings – doesn’t matter. A woman lives to feel. Lives for drama. That drunk bitch, screaming at her boyfriend? She is having a grand old time. She feels truly alive.

So Mr Xplat here has decided to play the game, dating, relationships, plate-spinning, PUA, “Contemplative Dominance”. So self-aware, so ironic, so red-pill. The result? He winds up living on just the same level as any chick, batted around like a pinball by her hormones and the petty dramas in her life. And concludes in public that this, this is truly living.Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas. (Not to mention chlamydia, herpes, and AIDS.)

This is not the True Way.

A man lives to achieve.

and

What is the point of the power of reason if not to struggle against emotions?

I'm not going to feign pity on the Spock wannabees, and long experience with talking to the stupid and ego invested has shown again and again that it's pointless, so I'm not trying to start a reasonable dialogue with those incapable of it. But just in case there are those out there who are even slighty influenced by the cult-of-anti-intimacy that infects the manosphere, I need to speak up and influence you men. Because that's what men do – we help each other to not become total fuck ups. I will try to influence by talking about how in my OWN life, my personal day to day life, I face choices all the time, that affect my quality of life. Choices about how emotional to be.

I know, personally, and daily, that FEELING is directly related to overall quality of life. To personal and shared wellbeing, joy, contentment, ecstasy.

Nobody likes to suffer. The fact that we suffer is a fact – it’s not about a logical decision – it’s a fact. And we have no choice in the matter – we don’t like it. We can’t choose to like it, we can’t choose to accept it as it is. It is a biological fact that pain decreases quality of life – it’s a tautology. And it’s not just about avoiding pain. Pleasure increases quality of life. And there are plenty of known ways to increase and share pleasure. Increasing and sharing pleasure in mutually sustainable ways is good manners and good civics and good Christmas cheer and proper orgy etiquette.

And if the blatantly obvious were a silver nail you could not hammer it into the thick skulls of some of these ego-invested MGTOW tards.

“Emotions?!!! Emotions?!!! I don't understand. What are emotions? Why? Why oh why oh why?! Emotions and sex? It’s horrible. HORRIBLE I tell you!”

Good god man. Spergs and burgers.

ass-burgers

I spent many hours two days ago, listening to this Leonard Cohen song, as interpreted by Anthony, over and over. I found it haunting and oddly spiritual. It was condusive to chi-kung.

And then while at the gym today, it finally struck me. Leonard Cohen suffered long bouts of depression, and it shows up in his songs, and the entire tone of this song is one of giving over ones will. One line in it is “and end this night, if it be your will.” That’s not spiritual. That’s just laying down and giving up. That’s not some sort of spiritual “acceptance”, whatever that could possibly mean. It’s just abrogating responsibility and lowering your own testosterone. It’s not a take charge attitude.

If it be YOUR will? No. If it be MY will. If I decide. I am in charge of what I am in charge of. And it’s a lot.

On the other hand in order to open up our perceptions there is a lot of letting go that needs to happen. A relaxing past our current expectations and ego invested definitions of who we are.

So I’ll allow a spiritual letting go into our wider Self, and I’ll allow projecting out that Self onto a mythical other, as an exercise of growth to reach out into now-ness with open eyed wonder and appreciation.

Because that is an expression of OUR will. We own that too. We own it, and it’s good.

There is so much going on in my life right now that is a result of my will. So many great things. Perhaps I’ll get to that in another post.

If there is a point I’d like readers to take away from this post, it’s this; enjoying life is a habit. A habit that we can cultivate. And to maximize how much pleasure we can bring to others, it’s also a habit that we must cultivate.

One way I increase enjoyment with my girls is to sometimes do various role play games, in order to heighten emotions. A favorite is daddy-daughter, because that heightens feelings of genuine paternal love. Ya, it’s kinky, but get past that for long enough to get to the heart of the matter – the why of the kink. It greatly increases genuine affection, which hugely increases mutual satisfaction. That’s a major life hack, right there.

As does chi-kung – HUGE increase in sensitivity and power.

Emotions are necessary tools, the value of which could never be overstated. They are essential to our maximized life. And we can’t have only good ones.

Update: Paul Murray writes: ” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder ≠ Asperger’s Syndrome. ”

I’d never heard of that disorder, and it’s a fascinating read. Yes, Schizoid personality disorder closely matches some of what is expressed by many MGTOWs. In previous posts I’ve also mentioned that MGTOWs seem to have attachment disorders, such as the Dismissive–avoidant attachment style and the article on Schizoids says that some people think these are either related or the same thing. It’s also mentions that comparisons of SPD (schizoid personality disorder) and aspergers have been made, and that there are overlaps and differences.

Here is the money quote from the SPD wikipedia page:

“Only schizoid patients”, suggests Klein, “who have worked through the abandonment depression … ultimately will believe that the capacity for relatedness and the wish for relatedness are woven into the structure of their beings, that they are truly part of who the patients are and what they contain as human beings. It is this sense that finally allows the schizoid patient to feel the most intimate sense of being connected with humanity more generally, and with another person more personally. For the schizoid patient, this degree of certainty is the most gratifying revelation, and a profound new organizer of the self experience.

I’ve been making similar statements over and over in so many different ways on this blog.

This seemingly Buddhist notion of trying to be independent is a pathology. We are inherently interconnected. We CAN’T be fully ourselves, and maximally happy, without awareness of and inclusion of our social lives. We ARE social. We don’t just have social lives – we are fundamentally social.

Update: And from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy#Atypical_response

Atypical response

Atypical empathic responses have been associated with autism spectrum disorders; particular personality disorders such as psychopathy, borderline, narcissistic, and schizoid personality disorders; conduct disorder;[77] schizophrenia; bipolar disorder;[34] and depersonalization.[78]

It then goes on to describe different ways those on the autistic spectrum are clueless in their ability to understand why other men like to fuck and have normal human emotions:

Autism spectrum

The interaction between empathy and the autism spectrum is a complex and ongoing field of research. Several different factors are proposed to be at play here.
Alexithymia

A study of high-functioning adults with autism spectrum disorders found an increased prevalence of alexithymia,[79] a personality construct characterized by the inability to recognize and articulate emotional arousal in oneself or others.[79][80][81] Based on fMRI studies, alexithymia is responsible for a lack of empathy.[82] The lack of empathic attunement inherent to alexithymic states may reduce quality[83] and satisfaction[84] of relationships. Recently, a study has shown that high-functioning adults with autism appear to have a range of responses to music similar to that of neurotypical individuals, including the deliberate use of music for mood management. Clinical treatment of alexithymia could involve using a simple associative learning process between musically induced emotions and their cognitive correlates.[85] A study has suggested that the empathy deficits associated with the autism spectrum may be due to significant comorbidity between alexithymia and autism spectrum conditions rather than a result of social impairment.[86]
Mirror neuron activity

One study found that, relative to typically developing children, high-functioning children with autism showed reduced mirror neuron activity in the brain’s inferior frontal gyrus (pars opercularis) while imitating and observing emotional expressions.[87] EEG evidence revealed that there was significantly greater mu suppression in the sensorimotor cortex of autistic individuals. Activity in this area was inversely related to symptom severity in the social domain, suggesting that a dysfunctional mirror neuron system may underlie social and communication deficits observed in autism, including impaired theory of mind and empathy.[88] The mirror neuron system is essential for emotional empathy.[30]
Theory of mind

Previous studies have suggested that autistic individuals have impaired theory of mind. Theory of mind is the ability to understand the perspectives of others.[29] The terms cognitive empathy and theory of mind are often used synonymously, but due to a lack of studies comparing theory of mind with types of empathy, it is unclear whether these are equivalent.[29] Theory of mind relies on structures of the temporal lobe and the pre-frontal cortex, and empathy, i.e. the ability to share the feelings of others, relies on the sensorimotor cortices as well as limbic and para-limbic structures.[citation needed] Francesca Happe showed that autistic children who demonstrate a lack of theory of mind lack it for their self as well as for others.[89][citation needed] The lack of clear distinctions between theory of mind and empathy may have resulted in an incomplete understanding of the empathic abilities of those with Asperger syndrome; many reports on the empathic deficits of individuals with Asperger syndrome are actually based on impairments in theory of mind.[29][90][91]
Cognitive and affective empathy

Studies have found that individuals on the autism spectrum self-report lower levels of empathic concern, show less or absent comforting responses toward someone who is suffering, and report equal or higher levels of personal distress compared to controls.[36] The combination of reduced empathic concern and increased personal distress may lead to the overall reduction of empathy in those on the autism spectrum.[36] Professor Simon Baron-Cohen suggests that those with classic autism often lack both cognitive and affective empathy.[39] Research also suggests that people with Asperger syndrome may have problems understanding others’ perspectives in terms of theory of mind, but on average demonstrate equal empathic concern as and higher personal distress than controls.[29] The generally heightened personal distress in those with autism spectrum conditions has been offered as an explanation to the claim that at least some people with autism would appear to have heightened emotional empathy,[36][38] although emotional empathy depends on mirror neuron activity, which (as described previously) has been found to be reduced in those with autism, and empathy in people on the autism spectrum is generally reduced.[30][36]
Empathizing–systemizing theory

The empathizing–systemizing (E-S) theory suggests that people may be classified on the basis of their capabilities along two independent dimensions, empathizing (E) and systemizing (S). These capabilities may be inferred through tests that measure someone’s Empathy Quotient (EQ) and Systemizing Quotient (SQ). Five different “brain types” can be observed among the population based on the scores, which should correlate with differences at the neural level. In the E-S theory, autism and Asperger syndrome are associated with below-average empathy and average or above-average systemizing. The E-S theory has been extended into the Extreme Male Brain theory, which suggests that people with an autism spectrum condition are more likely to have an “Extreme Type S” brain type, corresponding with above-average systemizing but challenged empathy (see the next section).[92]

And then:

Personality disorders

Atypical empathy is associated with some personality disorders, including psychopathy, borderline, narcissistic, and schizoid personality disorders.

Schizoid personality disorder

Characteristics of schizoid personality disorder include emotional coldness, detachment, and impaired affect corresponding with an inability to be empathetic and sensitive towards others.

And I’ll copy my comments below into this main post, as they are relevant to the empathy and theory of mind disorders listed above:

The vast majority of them seem to be incapable of having any empathy with the common human condition – that we are a pair bonding species who like to fuck. Over and over they act surprised. Day after day. Their hobby is being surprised at the obvious.

The closest I’ve seen an MGTOW guy coming to terms with the fact that people like to mate is handwaving at sex with mentioning that fucking is ok, sometimes, if it’s a freeby that comes along, or if a guy pays for it. But never go after it.

And that does NOT address emotional bonding AT ALL. They literally can not even see the subject at all. It’s completely invisible to them.

Want intimacy? Oh, pay a prostitute.

Uh, what?

Ass-burgers are NOT men who go their own way. They are men who use shaming language against anyone who doesn’t have ass-burgers. Nya nya nya nya nya! You like to fuck and have emotions!

It’s the Dunning-Kruger effect gone wild. The incompetent are too incompetent to realize that they are incompetent. So you have a self selected group of the most socially incompetent people on the planet making socio-sexual commentary.

It’s the retard class barging in on the teachers meeting, “explaining” that the teachers are ignorant.

And

MGTOW guys refuse to compete, and are therefore losers. And they then want to not only stop others from keeping score, but want to gather together and make new rules such that the real losers are the people who successfully enjoy sex and romance.

Update: Regardless of a persons social ability, it would seem that learning and playing music should heighten emotional facility, and intersubjective social ability. It’s long been known that piano playing generally enhances overall brain development in children. I expect that adults would have benefits in many areas as well.

I’ve been using rolipram, which enhances memory formation and generates new neurons. I’ll be looking into other neurogenesis and learning enhancing supplements – I’ve found many so far that look very promising.

I’ve had periods of my life where I was socially awkward, and have seen a trend of improvement. So I expect that with some supplemental aids to neuroplasticity plus regular training, many people can greatly alter their inter-personal approaches, and find new ways to enrich their emotional lives. For me it’s new to have a team of guys to interact with. For other people it will be new to date young hotties. New stuff will require stretching and learning new abilities.

A general attitude of personal and interpersonal growth with the overarching framework of maximizing personal and group happiness is necessary, but not sufficient to realizing ones full potential.

Posted in Happiness, Haters | 17 Comments »

It’s all one game – even the heartbreak and rejections – that IS the game.

Posted by xsplat on December 10, 2014

Unbowed had some interesting discussions during a meetup with Krauser, and took away this insight:

I asked Nick about stoicism and being unemotional as that’s always bugged me in regards to inner game. He explained that while a cornerstone of game is emotional mastery, you will still feel highs and lows, it doesn’t matter if you’re a newbie or a veteran. Opening has an emotional cost. Rejection has a sting. An SDL has a euphoric feeling. And regardless of this emotional roller coaster, it does not matter. There’s no inherent meaning or grand purpose to any of this. It’s just a game. But make no mistake, you will feel the highs and lows. The minute you stop feeling means you’re out of the moment. If you’re not feeling both the flak and the bliss and everything in between, then you’re not in the game. Sure the intensity will differ depending on individual variables, but it boils down to feeling. The mastery comes where you can make a decision in spite of the emotions. I found it to be a subtle but notable distinction.

I was thinking something quite similar last night. My Beauty Queen had invited me to visit for four days, as her family will be out of town and so she can sleep over, but then the next day she begged off with some lame excuse.

At first I was philosophical about it. I’ve got other girls I’m into, and am developing a pipeline. I allowed myself the pain of acknowledging that she’s an 8 who is a screamer, and that’s going to take a wide pipeline to replace. Walking over to one of my girls places I was still thinking about her, and my heart hurt. So I just let it hurt, and emobodied it, and felt it. Not just let it wash over me, but let that be what I was doing and being – embody it in the same way you might embody a song you are really into and singing. And it occurred to me that while that’s pain, that IS the game.

That IS what dating is. That’s it. It’s these waves of pleasure and pain. If you can’t feel the pain, you can’t properly play the game. You won’t be able to effectively seduce, and you won’t be able to really feel the bliss and the joy.

All night long even in my sleep and dreams I was heartbroken, and woke up feeling down.

And I also had a great evening with my long time lover.

And I was also cranky at another lover for leaving town for a few days without permission.

And that’s it. That IS the game.

It isn’t winning a contest over your emotions. It isn’t only feeling pleasure. It’s the whole thing. That’s the game – you can’t win at dating uless you date, and you can’t date unless you feel, and you can’t feel unless you really feel – all the pleasure and all the pain.

I explain something like this to new lovers I meet. I let them know that I’ve often felt extreme heartbreak. Sometimes I’ll use the example of my dead lover; it’s very easy to empathise with such a wrenching loss for people, and there is no sidetrack into stories of who left who for what reason. I let it be known that while I feel heartbreak deeply, that it’s no excuse not to live life fully. I hate it as much as anyone else – pain is pain. But I’m not afraid of it.

I don’t let it stop me.

It’s the game. The whole game. It’s part of the whole thing.

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

The battle of the sexes won’t be waged the same way ever again

Posted by xsplat on December 9, 2014

When people see how feminism has been changing culture, they then naturally try to envision the future; how will things develop. But never do I hear of future projections that take into account the wild card of technological change.

Society follows upon opportunity, and opportunity follows upon technology.

Agrarian technology ushered in dramatic social changes. The industrial revolution ushered in more. The pill and the service economy ushered in more. The internet more still.

If we could forecast that there will not be any more major socially disrupting new technologies, then we can try to peer into our horizons. But I don’t see that as likely at all.

We are going to start to see some very major technological shifts that will dramatically change culture, in ways far more profound than feminism ever has.

Genetic engineering of ourselves and offspring, surgical remolding as well as biological grafts, computer implants, and yes, even the borg.

If you are looking 60 years into the future and not even thinking about technology then you are thinking that history is cyclical.

Technology is not cyclical.

History is not cyclical.

Social changes are not cyclical.

I’m old enough to have lived pre internet and pre cell phone. Nobody imagined our current future. It was a surprise.

We will have surprises FAR more disruptive on society than feminism.

Adapt or don’t. If people think they have witnessed big cultural shifts, and are hoping for things to swing back around, they’ve got it ALL wrong.

We aint seen nothin yet.

The changes have only barely begun.

Sex robots. Resource wars that could impact our physical safety and use unfamiliar weapons, such as bio-tech, micro-drones, and autonomous robots.

Mind controlling implants and microbes. Brain upgrades.

Even in the last few years facebook and tinder have changed society. Forty years ago that was not a prediction.

Forty years from now the battle of the sexes will be held on a vastly different landscape. What having a baby even means will be vastly different; genes will no longer be a matter of paternity and maternity alone.

And the effect of native genes will be vastly different. We will be altering our own genetic makeup after being born. As well as our appearance, and organs, and senses, and even how our very brains and thought processes function.

Society will be connected up in new ways we have never imagined.

People think sexting is an issue. Brain-wifi all-senses connected international sex orgy anyone? What is your chosen avatar?

My point of injecting this pragmatic uncertainty into the dialog is to point out that in order to live strategically, our short and medium term goals must include working with the system as it is. Our long term goals should include being in the best possible position to adapt. And that for me means increasing wealth as much as possible.

Nowhere is it pragmatically useful to plan for a future in which the battle of the sexes continues to be waged in our current technological landscape.

That present is ALREADY the past. The present is history. This landscape won’t be where the battle happens.

It will be a DIFFERENT battle.

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

Why it’s “rape” if the woman is drunk, but not the reverse

Posted by xsplat on December 9, 2014

Comment from Johnycomelately at Rollo’s blog

Kanazawa is the preeminent redpill researcher out there, he has been pilloried to kingdom come and kicked off every site he wrote for (most notably Psychology Today) because of his redpill research.

Here’s an exert from a response to a critic.

“When it comes to intersexual selection, the law states that the sex that invests less into the offspring is sexually more aggressive, and the sex that invests more is sexually more choosy and coy (Trivers 1972). This means that, among most mammalian species (including all primates), the female is more choosy than the male, and thus sex and mating become a female choice (Kirkpatrick 1987; Small 1993).

There is by now a significant amount of evidence to demonstrate that men lek (conspicuously display their genetic quality) and women choose from among the available men.

If sex and mating were a male choice, how is a regular copulation different from rape? Why is rape so traumatic and devastating to women if it is no different from a regular copulation (Thornhill & Thornhill 1983)? Rape is so traumatic and devastating to women precisely because that is the only time when a sexual copulation is not a female choice. All the other instances of sexual intercourse are treated and perceived differently because they are always a female choice. ”

Men lek (display) and females choose, all game is based on improving or imitating high value lekking.

Anything that violates fully informed female choice, whether by inducing self delusion, mimicking, omission, deception, contriving or guile is seen as rape by a low status male. Drunken sex is viewed as the removal of capacity to choose and therefore rape.

That is why being ‘tricked’ or ‘taken advantage of’ seems to be so prevalent in female discourse, I guess that is why game is so villified.

The hysteria isn’t about genuine rape but the innate fear of having sex with low value men, the prevalence of ‘game’ simply adds to the hysteria.

As Whisky used to say, “Women hate hate hate betas.” And sex with a low value man is akin to rape.

and boomerick wrote:

Feminist Rape Culture is the female ego defensive idea that, for every woman, no matter how unappealing they might be, all men on some level desire her, to the point of her fantasizing that all men could loose control and act violently against their natural male protective instinct, societal conditioning, and legal penalty threat to “have” her (she’s THAT important). The affected woman can enter into every situation/ transaction throughout her every day assuring herself of her own desirability even though most likely she’s not even noticed or wanted (she’s truly insignificant and unimportant). It’s over compensation for basic female insecurity. The amount of solipsism pushing this “culture” is staggering.

Johnycomelately again:

The rape hysteria also has a deeper motive, equalitarianism (high taxes and social distribution) has changed the economic ecology and altered the incentives for female bonding patterns.

Several economists and anthropologists contend that society is transitioning from monogamy to serial monogamy (serial polygyny).

For serial polygyny to be facilitated women require absolutely unfettered, unrestricted, unconditional, uncommitted, unrestrained, unmoralizing, independent and completely free and unqualified safe access to sexual free choice. Unbounded by contracts, agreements, social norms, moral restraints, religious injunctions, social ties, aesthetic norms, maternal obligations, infanticide (abortion), selling progeny (adoption) and economic restrictions.

Anything that is deemed as restrictive is seen as limiting this choice, male spaces, employment obstacles, undesirable attention, unsafe neighbourhoods, male aesthetic standards, religion and of course RAPE.

What we are seeing is ‘choice hysteria’, anytime someone somewhere restricts female sexual choice it is met with unbounded fury. Even centuries long legal precedents and wrongful inprisonment must acquiesce to facilitate free choice.

Here are some quotes showing we are transitioning to serial polygyny.

Murdock’s (1967) Ethnographic Atlas categorized just 16% of 862 cultures as exclusively monogamous, with polygamy being found at some level in the rest.

A 2011 study from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that just 23% of women and 14.7% of men aged 25-44 had one (or zero) opposite-sex lifetime partners.

Frank Marlowe, Biological Anthropology – Cambridge
When males provide all the income but some have much more than others, richer males achieve polygyny, while ecologically imposed monogamy prevails in case of moderate inequality. When males provide an intermediate level of investment with little variation, females are not excessively dependent on males and serial monogamy may arise.

David de la Croix, Professor of Economics
In a society with few rich males and virtually no rich females, polygyny is supported by rich males, who can naturally monopolize a larger number of partners, and poor females, who prefer to be the n-th wife of a rich male rather than marrying a poor male monogamously.
Eventually, however, the number of rich males increases enough, and poor females prefer to marry monogamously.
Serial monogamy follows from a further enrichment of the society, through a rise in either the share of rich males, or the the proportion of rich females.

Monique Mulder, Anthropology
A key finding here is that while men do not benefit from multiple marriages, women do. Although the data are very variable (large standard errors), women appear to gain more from multiple mating than do men.

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

Project World Domination update #1

Posted by Aaron Sollesse on December 5, 2014

A lot has happened since I last posted.

In summary team size has doubled, two new money making machines are almost complete, sales are rising, plus we have a new office, villa and we’re now building a compound in Bali to host our growing team.

Bali compound

Early draft of the new Bali compound

As a result of our last call to action four Westerners are arriving in December to Bali. There will be fun adventures, sexy girls, discussions about life and creation of businesses.

Things here on the ground are developing swiftly. Lots of training new staff and heavily developing our business infrastructure to build a sustainably scaleable company, whilst pushing forward with conversion optimisation and lots of R&D.

Things are exciting here but I want to talk about something else today that isn’t often discussed.

People all the time write about how to improve your game, wealth, health, etc. but people seem to forget the best growth accelerator – a mentor.

How to Get a Mentor

I’ve often seen content about the benefits of mentorship but very little on what it takes to actually get a mentor.

The most important fundamental factor is: Give Life-Changing Value.

And the reason why this topic is neglected so much is because fundamentally most people are too selfish – they focus way too much on what they want and too little on what other people want.

For example I could have focused only on my own desires to relax, eat good food and meet girls 24/7 whilst out here with X. But instead I’ve taken on the role of Chief Operations Officer to manage all current businesses and personnel, as well as R&D on new projects, developing our business systems plus hiring and training new staff.

I’ve been busy as hell but I’m giving life-changing value – X now has more free time and less stress since he knows that I’m on top of everything. And I’m more than happy to do this because that’s what mentorship is all about.

You’re there to learn something valuable from them and this is the experience you need to be successful. In return you give your mentor life-changing value and this completes the Value Cycle. The value you give is the value you gain.

Giving value is fundamental to getting a mentor, so how can we make sure we’re giving life-changing value?

The 3 Keys for Giving Life-Changing Value

The first key is: Find out their primary goal. Once you know exactly why a person does everything they do, it makes it much easier to then deliver life-changing value to them.

For example the subheadline ‘How to Get a Mentor’ is based on this principle, as I’m offering you value in the form of accelerated success (a primary goal). But if this had instead been titled ‘How to Be a Good Mentee’ you would have been far less interested because it doesn’t immediately appear like life-changing value to you.

Persuasive copywriters ensure they speak always in terms of benefits, particularly drilling down to the primary benefit e.g. success. Becoming a good mentee to then attract a good mentor in order to become successful is much more indirect, thus less impactful. It’s a secondary goal.

As a personal example I can say that X has more interests than I can count in various industries, hobbies, science, technology, etc. Whenever I talk about something new I learned he already researched it 20 years ago. He’s a complex man but as I know the underlying motivation behind all of his intellectual pursuits, I know what value he most responds to.

This ensures a happy and productive partnership for the long-term. There’s no real shortcut that I know which immediately uncovers this though – it took a while for me to decipher so for any mentor you want to approach, make sure that you do your research thoroughly.

The second key is: Know each other’s strengths and weaknesses

With me and X, I know that by systemising and managing the businesses (my strength) that X has more free time to do what he does best – mastermind. He’s a business genius and comes out with big money making ideas all the time.

I also know that I’m very focused and analytically-minded whilst X thinks about a million things at once and is more creatively-oriented. Only problem is, there’s too many good ideas. We need to focus to get shit done, and I help him channel his energies in that way.

Ying and yang. That’s exactly what you need to be with your mentor. You must harness their strengths and mitigate their weaknesses, whilst doing the same with your own strengths and weaknesses.

And the third key for giving life-changing value: Know the difference between what they want and what they really need.

Let’s go back the subheadline ‘How to Get a Mentor’. You readers here all want success in business, relationships, fitness etc. so I wrote the subheadline tailored to what you want.

But now you’re reading this section I’m giving you what you really need – a slap in the face reminding you to forget about what you want, and instead to focus on giving life-changing value to others.

As a red pill man you can see the differences in numerous places. That 30-year old businesswoman wants to keep climbing the career ladder and riding the cock carousel but really needs to settle down before she hits the wall and becomes infertile. Mr. Beta next door wants to redo his kitchen for his beloved wifey-dearest who’s bored again but he really needs to start working out, stop taking shit and fuck his wife into oblivion. You want to read another blog post but you really need to get off your ass and take action.

Now remember that the whole point of this is to help fulfil their primary goal. So you’ll be looking at their secondary goals which conflict with their primary goals. For example the 30-year old businesswoman needs to drop the secondary goals of short-term pleasure from promotions and one night stands to fulfil her primary goal of long-term fulfilment from a monogamous relationship and babies.

These are all the methods you really need to give life-changing value, the real work is discovering them in the person. In summary the 3 keys for giving life-changing value are:

1) Find out their primary goal

2) Know each other’s strengths and weaknesses

3) Know the difference between what they want and what they really need

Be aware that these keys are needed much more for informal mentorships where you approach someone who isn’t actively looking for a mentee. They’ll make life difficult for you because they don’t want to begin the Value Cycle and mentor you (even though they would gain just as much as you in the process).

Of course, there are formal mentorships where can more easily secure a mentor because you’ll readily discuss each of these 3 keys:

Internships

Although we’re currently taking on lots of new people, we’re always on the lookout for more talented individuals.

Click here for the application form and description of the internship we’re offering. More details there but in short we’re offering 3-month trials with us in Indonesia (all living expenses paid for) and the opportunity for profit sharing past that point.

That’s all for now, looking forward to checking in with you all soon enough on further developments.

~  Aaron Sollesse

P. S. We are also thinking of doing a podcast soon. If we do, what would you like us to talk about? Leave a comment below.

Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments »

LTR game for the ugly man

Posted by xsplat on December 1, 2014

It’s easy to notice that hawt guys have more options. The other day at a restaurant the waitress asked Aaron after our meal “Would you like anything else?” I laughed and commented loudly “notice how she only asked you!” The girl laughed but didn’t even bother to make polite eye contact with me over the joke, and continued looking up with eager puppy dog eyes at Aaron.

When I see a super hot girl, every other girl around her is put into her relative place. They fade into the background or disappear altogether. And when I’m beside Aaron he gets IOS from long distances away, and girls peripheral vision finds him and tunes right in. I’m right beside him and their eyes never even land on me.

But some people think therefore that hawt guys are the only Alphas. That girls reserve genuine desire for them, and that they form an elite top 1% secret society.

That’s not quite true.

True, a hot guy can post up at a bar, and get attention. Even get unsolicited business cards handed to him. And score much more easily with a greater percentage of girls.

A hot guy with game and a well rounded lifestyle who has his shit together is the top elite. He can be a true alpha that many girls want.

But that doesn’t mean that only hot guys get to inspire devoted sexual attention from hot girls.

Alpha does not equal hot, not all hot guys are alpha, and not all alphas are hot.

I’m here in Bali with Aaron now. He has been killing it these last five days – on a liftetime peak streak, using night game. Great girls giving him great treatment.

While for myself it would be useless to use tinder, night game is not appropriate, and I struggle to get a single online date. I have to scratch and scrape for every scrap.

But once I get a girl across the cafe table, I have a very good chance to get her into my room. And once I get her in my room I have a very good chance to fuck her. The conversion rate is high. And whats more is that once I fuck a girl, most of the time she’ll want to be my girlfriend. And whats far more again is that over time she’ll come to treat me like a living god.

So while I can’t get several new girls a week, I can build up a stable of attractive young women who treat me at least as well as the hottest man on earth.

I had a date with a lovely 22 year old virgin last night. She made me laugh. She’s earned a few scholarships and has a bubbly feminine personality. I really like her. Towards the end of the date she flat out told me that I could have her virginity if I gave her some time.

But five days without sex. No masturbation. I’m used to seeing at least two girls a day, every day.

I’m not complaining about not being a hot guy. Yes, I’d prefer it. But you work with what you’ve got. And charm can go a hell of a long way.

Guys underestimate the power of charm. Charm plus being a good lay can convert the hottest of girls. Not as great a percentage of hot girls, but enough to build a stable.

Oh, an update on my beauty queen. Her sister stole her phone so that she could not contact me, and then insisted that I was too old and ugly for her. Then she broke up with me. It took a 40 minute phone call just to get her to accept me to fly up and say one last goodbuy over coffee. Needless to say we were fucking within 40 minutes of meeting again. After that she kept waffling, from being close with me to acting as if she’d never see me again. As of yesterday she asked me if I would be her boyfriend. It’s like landing a prize tuna with a lake trout fishing rod and reel. You can’t just throw your hands up in the air and say “oh, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.” Yes, there are. But there are not plenty of prize tuna on your fishing line. When you get a nibble, land the fish! Even if it takes incredible skill and persistance, land the fish! Oh, and she had originally lied about her age; it turns out she’s got a few months left of being only 17. I know many guys would see the young age as a negative, but I see it a huge positive. I met M when she was the perfectly ripe age of 21, and now she is quite noticeably past her prime at 25. In five years Beauty Queen will only be 22. Even after giving me a child she’ll still be a slim young hottie.

An update on the new 17 that Santa Claus left under the tree after returning back from my first visit to BQ: turns out she just turned 17 a week ago. So I had her for a while at the legal age of 16. The last time I saw her she was being a cock tease, laying on the bed watching loud porn on her cell phone, while preventing me from groping her. When I ignored her to do chi-kung she’d come up and rub on me, only to prevent me from undoing her bra. Then when I ignored her more and went out to the toilet she called out “no sex tonight”. I got pissed off and told her to leave. She refused so I physically threw her out my bedroom door and locked it. She stayed in my shophouse for 30 minutes begging and crying, and I had to get the live in handyman to tell her to go. Needless to say she loves me even more now.

An update on N18. N18 is 19 now. And after not seeing her for a month, I couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t have any other girl in my life who is such an attentive lover. That’s just too valuable to throw away. After one month apart her pussy tightened up considerably. She could never bring her self to believe that I had broken up with her.

An update on M25. M regularly tells me that she loves me. She is a flawed girl, but we do have some bonds. And the sex is a certain kind of food that I can’t get anywhere else. I don’t really feel nourished unless I see her occasionally, at least.

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Whirwind date with beauty queen leads to her moving in

Posted by xsplat on October 28, 2014

She’s 18 and I’m crazy about her. I think most people would be.

She’s won a few beauty contests, sings, plays guitar, dances, is a screamer, is polite, loving, romantic, cheerful and emotionally open. An attentive conversationalist who is quick to understand, she reads the subtleties of my face while parsing the words. Strong English and some Spanish. Equal digit ratio and she races motorcycles, no matter how many times she falls down. And that tight fuck-me-body! She’s like me; built for adventure and public sex. And she seems as crazy about me as I am about her.

No resistance from either of us. Just a perfect fit – hand in glove. Just perfect.

I’m going to make her pregnant, and I’d have no qualms about marrying her tomorrow. I’m just crazy about her. She’s not just the prettiest girl in the room, she’s the best girl in the room.

I had to take a four hour flight just to meet her. The plan was to convert her from her evil ways and get her to fall in love. After all, that kind of thing has happened in my life before; five times girls have moved in on the first date.

I have no way to know how much was unconscious skill, and how much was just being myself in the right time in the right place. But not only was it mission accomplished, but she really blew me away. She’s so beautiful I get a little shy looking at her in the face. But she’s a great fuck so I’m getting over the shyness. But it’s not just the pretty face and the sex. She’s a baby making life changing keeper. She’s going to be my mate, companion and super-sexual love slave.

And so this Friday I’ll fly up there again and bring her back. She’s moving in.

I could see her walking around town with a big pregnant belly soon enough.

Meanwhile the virgin is still dawdling around trying to get me to meet her mother. People are different; I don’t need a safe chaste girl who never wants to step foot into a nightclub. I need the girl who is a flight risk, the girl who is difficult to keep. I’m built to catch and keep that kind of girl. A girl who can keep up and then some.

I’ve caused more pregnancies than I have fingers, but I never felt that it was the right mother to invest in. Finding a great mother is really extremely difficult! More so even than a great mate. Not only must the two of you have great chemistry that can last through years and even decades, but she needs great genes and she has to have had a solid, loving upbringing. She needs to be a debutante – an outstanding specimen with good manners and breeding, who can pass on culture as well as her superior stock.

I’ve seen on my fathers side of the family what happens when you breed well. You get a whole family of success, that perpetuates into more good breeding. All my cousins married hot debutantes and have incredible children. My own father was really a great Dad. Some of that must have rubbed off on me; I’ll make a great dad too. And I can see that this girl will be a great parent too; even and cheerful mood, attentive and all around fun. I’ve seen happy families with two solid and happy parents and laughing children. They are damn difficult to put together, but they exist. It starts with getting a top shelf girl. Damn difficult that.

And it’s like business. There are windows of opportunities. A good part of business acumen is just seeing the opportunity and jumping on it before it’s too late. Another part is making a higher probability to be in the right place at the right time. Another part is developing your situation such that you are able to act upon opportunities. Then you get a confluence that leads to a whirlwhind of what appears to be completely easy and natural.

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The high strung man

Posted by xsplat on October 19, 2014

Some people are high-energy and high strung, by nature. Some genes have been identified, and before those were found the personality component had been noticed. We don’t mellow much with age.

I broke up with N18 a few days ago, and have gone no contact. And my other squeeze is out of town. So now I have no energy release, and am way too frustrated to properly date and seduce this 21 year old virgin that I’ve been seeing. I don’t even want to see her if I can’t fuck her on the spot. I’d never be able to tone down my energy to match hers, and what with her unawakened libido and lifetime of swimming in no-sex-before-marriage conservative values, my wild horse raw power would just spook her.

It’s not just women who have a dual mating strategy; men also have strong pair bonding and paternal urges, plus want to fuck around with the best that they can get. A woman’s focus will shift depending on her cycle, and men’s focus shifts depending on circumstance. Right now I’m much less interested in setting up house and home with the virgin – I need a high energy now girl, who oozes and bubbles with bubble butt passion.

A lot of music I just don’t get, because I can’t understand what emotion it is trying to convey.

But today, this music is my internal state:

***

Some girls intuitively realize that if a man is in a high energy, positive state, he’s more attractive and more interested in hunting. And so they have a two pronged mate guarding strategy:
1) be highly sexual and work overtime to keep the man sexually satisfied
2) be as much of a downer and source of turmoil as possible, without losing the man altogether.

And that’s why I’ve had to jettison such a tight and willing love slave. She is built to work really hard to be a downer. That’s a habit she can’t break. High conflict and personality disordered people are like that as well. Great and addictive in the sack, but the addiction comes at a cost.

As painful as having too much crawling-the-walls energy can be, I know that I need that much motivation to change my just-comfortable-enough circumstance for the better.

***
A DJ knows to mix up the moods, as neuron fatigue means we can’t sustain any one mood for long. But we can still pack a lot of emotional energy into quieter and lower tempo moments:



***

Our theories of mind for other are built foremost out of our personal experience, so when we come across people with different biological underpinnings to their thought processes, it can be challenging to get any realistic grasp on what is going on with them.

High strung guys can embody a lot of physical, emotional, and sexual energy. You can’t tell them to tone-it-the-fuck down and expect anything other than a dog’s throaty bark in return. We manage our lives differently, and are not only unable to tone it down, we’d never want to. We see lower energy and affect people as walking zombies, and have a hard time understanding why they don’t tone-it-the-fuck up.



We interpret art into personal meaning. For me this next song embodies the alienation that comes from holding more energy than those around you. “I think it’s going to be a long long time, till touch down brings me round again to find, I’m not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no! I’m a rocket man!”



In my life I’ve had a very rare few lovers with whom I regularly touched down to find out who is rocket man. That’s when I’m really fully myself, and really known for who I am.

***

At 21 it could seem that only my high powered sports bikes really understood me. Perfect outward expression of an internal state; man, twisty mountain road, and machine. Foot-peg scraping is a solitary experience, known to few.

***

Every heritable genetic trait is only conserved because it provides a reproductive benefit; at least within certain niches.

Therefore aloof bad boy game is not cookie cutter applicable. Higher strung guys need to play to our strengths – and boy do we have them. And it has NOTHING to do with being aloof.

Any man is going to have his own particular styles and strengths, and he can’t emulate someone else exactly to find out what his own style and strengths are.

***
Little Steve Marriot packed an explosive emotional punch into his voice. I suspect he couldn’t help it. Pay attention to the free flow of emotions on his face, especially the aggressive micro-expressions. For him bliss and aggression were not in opposition. And in his voice he shifts so effortlessly between sweet cooing romance with fuck her hard from behind aggressive passion and full throttle bliss that it’s hard to even notice the changes. This mans strong emotions were his instrument – expressed through his voice and music.

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Does the pine refuse to grow because of forest fires?

Posted by xsplat on October 17, 2014

Once you burn your hand on a stove, you know to avoid doing it again.

We don’t just avoid stoves altogether. We USE them.

Love has it’s seasons. When you are in the beginnings of an infatuation, your mood brightens so much that even colors get richer. Music becomes more meaningful. You are high throughout your day, and even into your sleep. You are more deeply relaxed, and excited at the same time. You are happier, and people around you become happier too.

And then it all turns to crap and you feel like you wake up in the morning to being in the dentist chair.

Does spring go on boycott because of the inevitability of winter? Does the pine hold off on sprouting because it is aware of the implications of being sprouted out of ash? No, the very ecology of the forest relies on fire. Ya, love is temporary. Ya, the forest is going to burn. The forest is on fire, long live the forest!

Do you drink coffee? Smoke? Drink occasionally? Love is a drug. It can be used to improve our quality of life. And it is hands down the BEST drug. There is nothing better. That’s a flat out fact. Love and sex are the ultimate life improvement tools.

Man invented controlled fire. We didn’t see a forest fire and swear it off because it’s dangerous.

My favorite form of fire is a huge face burning spark stuttering bonfire.

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You can’t stamp game knowledge into people with a cookie cutter. We vary greatly.

Posted by xsplat on October 16, 2014

I’m guilty of reading rivelino’s blog without commenting much. I know as a blog writer we sort of get paid for our efforts in the satisfaction of getting comments, so I’ve been short-changing him. He’s a thoughtful and insightful guy, and his twitter feed is cool too.

Lately he’s been thinking about his desire for an all around worthy girl – someone who isn’t a tatted up slut without any future time orientation or sexual self control and who has some brains and drive. He received some advice from Tom Torrero that his desires are founded in wrong thinking, and show a lack of truly swallowing the red pill. Tom thinks Riv suffers from a Madonna/whore complex, and should give up these silly sexual preferences, as they are just childish and stubborn holdovers from naive blue pill ways.

I made these comments on some of his posts:

Men and women both have a wide variety of socio-sexual scores. Some women DO marry as virgins and DO die only having ever had sex with their husband.

In any group of women in any country, there will be a wide variance in the desire for novelty and openness to new sexual experiences.

It’s black and white thinking based on the need to protect the ego from loss to try to correct for an error in thinking that may not be an error at all. Sure, all women should be seen of as a risk for infidelity. We never know. But it’s lying to ourselves in order to inure ourselves from the pain of heartbreak to say that all women will sooner or later fuck some other guy.

Yes, even virgins that a man marries are a risk. But risk is not equal to certainty. If it was we would use a different word.

********

You seem to clearly know what you DO feel.

And isn’t that the question you need an answer to? Or is it what you SHOULD feel, or could train yourself to feel?

It’s natural, normal, healthy and good to want a holistic experience with a woman. Why shouldn’t it be. People do it all the time.

I’m sick of my 18 year old banana brain. She gives great head unprompted, all the time, but you can’t talk to her. And that makes me sick of her.

Of course you have standards. You’re supposed to.

Fucking for fun is fun. So is chocolate. It’s fine to fuck for fun and eat some chocolate. But you want a meal. That’s not a pathology.

That’s evolution too – your forefathers wanted a smart wife, and you wound up being a smart guy. Thank the feeling you have now for your own brains.

******

I think Tom has the wrong attitude about “game” and girls. It’s too cookie cutter.

Men and women have wide variance. We don’t all feel the same things or want the same things.

I, for instance, likely have genes that make me a bit more anxious and prone to novelty seeking, and these have been correlated with an increased libido. So I fuck a few times or more per day, every day, year after year and decade after decade, even now into my late forties. I’ve also been romantically involved with girls since the age of three. Every single year of my life since age three, I’ve had a love interest. So for me oxytocin is a physical and psychological need.

I would never assume that other guys share my needs. I’m biologically and genetically built slightly differently than other people.

There is no cookie cutter approach to a man’s needs.

*******
By the way, if you read this blog by RSS, I should remind you that my writing process is to immediately publish my first drafts, and then to work them over the next few hours. So the posts on the blog and the RSS feed are very different. I would suggest you use RSS only to let you know I have a new post, and to click over to read (and comment) here.

Update: And from a related comment left on Krauser’s recent post where he denounces the natural inclination to form powerful bonds with our women as an error of judgment:

For some, perhaps most people, the oxytocin bonding and love rush are extremely pleasurable, in a long lasting way. Some sustain that feeling of improved mood for 6 months to two years, or even longer.

Oxytocin IS meaning. When people feel an emotional sense of meaning, it is very often directly connected to oxytocin.

It’s perfectly reasonable and pragmatic to go through seasons of love. Do you denounce the value of summer because there is always winter?

This idea that love is an error is itself the error.

Love can be as meaningful and joyful as can an excellent spring and summer. Far more so.

People who take impermanence as a sign of a reason to not enjoy are making a massive error in how to fully enjoy being fully alive and human. Of course love is a temporary madness. So what? Is that some sort of an unmanageable problem? No, it’s not. All the emotions of love can be handled properly, and it can be included properly into a rich, full life.

*******
and:

It is an arrogance that borders on religious zeal to make this assumption that the natural inclination to form strong bonds with our women is fundamentally an error in judgment.

It is not necessarily so. An introspective and skilled man will be able to use the winds of emotions and understand the currents and seasons, and navigate.

Some of you guys talk as if winds are nothing but uncontrollable storms, to be avoided at all costs. Have you no sense of navigation at all?

Humans are born to get MAXIMUM possible pleasure in life through the experiences relating to procreation; sex and love.

It is therefore a no brainer. If you want maximimum happiness, you have to know how to USE these emotions. To navigate.

Love is not an uncontrollable tempest at all. It is a tool.

An adult human male who can not use that tool is not living up to his full potential for happiness.

****
and:

And let’s all stop pretending that we are unaware of the variety of options that we have with women. It’s time to stop pretending that it’s a choice between divorce rape and pump and dump.

Serial and parallel monogamy are not some rare moon meteorites, heard of but never seen. The options are not stark and polar at all. It’s natural and normal and common to have strong romantic attachments that don’t lead to ruin.

Update 2: And another related comment to Riv’s new post:

And yet it is a scientifically verifiable and verified fact that all humans have a socio-sexuality that lies upon a continuum.

That goes for men, as well as women.

Yes, circumstance and even life stages will affect our openness to non-monogamy. But it is as common as morning sunshine for a girl to be relatively locked down. For a while at least.

And in my experience even a girl with a hugely slutty past can become intensely bonded to a guy.

I think some guys are taking on a philosophy that pair bonding is an error. And that philosophy is an error.

I’ve had personal experiences of lasting loving relationships where the girl was relatively locked down, for long periods. With both virgins and sluts. I never thought it was a permanent situation, nor aimed for one, but the data is obvious that for some people lifetime monogamy DOES happen.

Good girls are just bad girls who didn’t get caught? Yes, and also they are just bad girls who didn’t fuck another guy yet. That DOES indisputably happen. For some periods of time it is even to be expected with girls. They are capable of and enjoy being relatively locked down.

****
and:

And keep in mind that I’m also an advocate of mate guarding.

Let’s keep our nuance.

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Pre-rational developmentally impaired testosterone challenged haters are narcissists

Posted by xsplat on September 17, 2014

You can’t argue with manginas or feminists.

And there are very weird brain wiring reasons why arguing with them is futile.
david-futrelle-manboob

People with disorganized personalities, such as the cluster B personality disorder narcissism, quite literally CAN NOT hold any thought which is self-critical. Think about that for a moment. Their brain will not allow certain thoughts to happen.

Developmental psychology is an established field with decades of solid scientific research behind it, that shows us that humans naturally develop through stages of mental maturation. Piaget was one of the first researchers to propose the broad outlines of developmental theory. Research has shown that a large percentage of the population remains throughout adulthood as developmentally impaired; that is they remain pre-rational. Rationality is not an organ of perception that exists to them. They “think” with emotional biases and rationalizations.

mangina

When you combine narcissism and pre-rational thinking, you get argument-by-assertion. This is where reality is considered as nothing more than a social construct, that can be altered by a group gathering together and agreeing what is real or not. For instance to an emotional thinker, a man does not have a real physical object between his legs that is his penis. His penis is entirely created out of nothing more substantial than gossip. “Oh, you drive a red convertible sports car? Then you MUST have a small penis! Ha ha!”

For such people, certain realities literally CAN NOT exist. Their brain will refuse to hold the thoughts. You can try over and over in a thousand different ways to get their brain to visualize a thought, but your best possible reward will be narcissistic rage. More likely will be avoidance through complete retreat. Their brain wiring will NEVER allow certain thoughts to be even briefly visualized.

Argument-by-eye-rolling is the go-to tactic for a hive of narcissists. This is because truth seeking through argument is not considered the point. The point is consensus, so if everybody mutually eye rolls, then the job is done. If you do not automatically join in the eye rolling, then everything you say MUST be wrong. It is pure in-group vs out-group mental construction. There are good people and bad people, good thoughts and bad thoughts. There is no truth that causes feel bads – if there are feel bads then it’s not true. Emotional “logic”. Another go-to emotional “argument” is to slander through associations. It makes NO difference to this type of thinking if such associations have any basis in reality. Remember, the penis is not a measurable object to such people. It is ALL social construct. And so if a guy dates 18 year olds, automatically you will immediately hear about paedophilia. Regardless of what he says and does, it’s time to associate him with paedophilia. Because that works, for these disordered and developmentally impaired brains. That is how they logic.

As examples here are some comments on my last post from the manboobs blog:

“I am going to doubt that any 18 year old girl is really into him. His money might be another story. ”

“He’s joking. It’s a fucking satire blog for gods sake. ”

I won’t bother mining the rest of the comments for idiocy. It is difficult to find any exception to the rule that manboobs are incapable of imagining ego-threatening ideas, such that an 18 year old girl can maintain a passionate affair with an old man who is consciously skilled in maintaining a sexually charged romantic relationship where he remains dominant and has hand.

I’ve notices that groups of men-going-their-own way are also skewed towards the fat, ugly, and retarded. As are feminists.

It is a type of sexual strategy to discount the competition, and is evolved. Sexual socialism through peer pressure.

But it will never occur to such people that their attempts are impotent. Does the cheerleader care what feminists think about her dating the “misogynist” quarterback? No, real power is not about group consensus. Real power is about real influence. Who is fucking who is as measurable as dick size. And manboobs are not the ones getting the choice action. Man boobs, MGTOW boobs, and feminists are often the socio-sexual discards of this world, and they are discarded for good reason.

I was having a fireside discussion with two Netherlandic women, one aged 46 and fat and ugly, and the other 22 and cute. They were both outraged by the fact that when I choose the age ranges of women I’m searching for on dating sites, I type in from 18-24. The younger one lacked any semblance of emotional or intellectual control, and her outrage brought her into a euphoric ecstasy of hysterical slander. Her first tactic was to reduce the minimum age of who I was looking for, first to 16, and then twelve. My first response to her was to repeat over and over, in a tone at once bored and irritated “why should I care what you think?” When she insinuated that no young women would want me, I mentioned that my two long-term girlfriends are 18 and 25. She assumed that her look of incredulity and outrage was an argument, in and of itself. Whereas once again “why should I care?” In retrospect I should have just given her N18s phone number and told her to talk it out with her. Because my experience is that ALWAYS such women are 100% completely impotent with their rage. I’m sure by now hundreds of women have counselled my various girls to leave me. And all my girls do is to tell me about it, and we both share a chortle.

By the way it was the older woman who had the maturity and insightful introspection to notice that the real reason my choice of women bothered her is because it made her feel insecure about maintaining a companionate relationship. She didn’t want men to be able to have any other options but to stick with their women as they let themselves slide into becoming fat and asexual. The notion of doting hotties to her was deeply disturbing, as was lust based relationships. But for all her insight, she was not capable to make the mental leap of putting herself in a man’s shoes, and imagining that what might work best for him is not in her best interest.

The young girl finally backed off when I mentioned that I had recently broken up with N18, but relented to her begging me to stay. “SHE begged YOU?!”, she incredulated. After a pause, she softened for the first time. “Oh, you must be great in bed”.

“How did you know?”

“It’s the only reason I’d stay with a man like you”. After that she kept mentioning how my alternate lifestyle was “interesting”. Even my sleeping schedule was noted to her to be “interesting”.

When peoples sexual strategies are threatened, in their strong emotion they are prone to thought patterns that are pre-rational and solipsistic. And many people are in a default state of pre-rational narcissism. Such people often get a big kick out of the emotion of outrage, and want a group pity party or group slander. Men and women both do this, on any side of any fence; feminists and MGTOW manboobs, and social conservatives, and social justice warriors.

And this is a reason I very often mention that habits of mind are important to be cautious about. Narcissism is NOT your friend, not even as a seduction aid.

Related from 2003: Not all homo sapiens are human

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