Those with milder autism, the hamburger-autistics who have ass-burgers, are high enough functioning that they are able to communicate their wonderment to the world at large.
“Why do people fuck?!! Why do men have emotions?!! What’s going on, can’t men see that it’s really stoopid?!”
In this internet age, every meme gets it’s own support group, and the support group for the hambur-tards is called men going their own way, or MGTOW for short.
A lot of what we become started out in the womb. The hormones we swim in alter our brain and body development. Some male embryos develop a feminine thinking style due to a low levels of testosterone in the uterus. And throughout the development years and even after we develop, our hormones affect our thinking styles. And our bodies.
I was glancing at some porn sites with a lover the other day, and she she showed me some disturbing pictures. There was a western man with an Indian lover, who was frequently having threesomes with his girlfriends boss. The western guy had an unusually small dick, and the Indian guys was just as unusually large.
A lot of people think that all men are some how or other deep down all created equal, that some how or other we are all deserving of the same amount of respect or good will or treatment or that our opinions are all equally valid, or some other la-la nether-neverland ephemeral bullshit.
All men are created what? Equal did you say?
I say take a look at the picture I saw. Two men holding their dicks up, side by side. That’s not equal. I bet the girl didn’t experience them as equal either.
I can hear the MGTOW guys argue back “But why should I let OTHER people define MY worth?” Uhh, because sex? Because the ability to cause sexual pleasure is a real, factual, actual, measurable truly existing worth? Because you might like to cause another person pleasure, because doing so is personaly pleasurable? Any of that registering? No? No. You already checked out of the conversation right after you asked the question.
During our perusing of performing online couples, we chanced upon a young burly guy with stamina, fucking away on his girl, and both of us nearly broke out laughing at how emotionless the guy was. “Oh, that guy doesn’t do it for me at ALL”. His face was placid. As if he had no clue what the word passion could possibly mean. Like he was just sawing wood – as if fucking were a physical function. Only. Not a screamer.
Emotional ability is similar to dick size. It’s very influential. Sexual charisma is all about how responsive YOU are. Not how much response you can get out of the girl, through special finger movements and thrust timings. It’s about how emotionally and sexually responsive YOU are.
It’s the same for girls. Yes, a great blow job counts for a lot – points for technique. But the most important thing is how responsive the girl is. How much she is into it. How orgasmic she is, how in the flow she is, how given over to passion she is, how red her cheeks get, how loud her screams get, how totally taken over by the moment she gets.
That’s emotional power. Very similar to dick size.
And just like dick size, it can be cultivated.
In fact there is an effective therapy used for asexual women. It is to simply practice being sensual. Carefully notice and enjoy each bite of each grape. Day after day mindfullness is attached to sensual pleasures, and the new practice strengthens neuron connections related to enjoyment of pleasure, and then the women learn to be sexual, and even orgasmic.
It’s the same for enjoying ones own emotions. And life.
My dick is a decent size for Asia. It’s modestly above western average, but if I were plowing fields in the west, there might be some advantage to me to jelk regularly and get an extra 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch growth. I hear that’s a reasonable and common result, and takes about six months. And if I had a micropenis like that guy in the picture had, you are damn right I’d save every penny and get some surgery. A man needs to compete. I mean sure, we all play to our strengths, and most weaknesses can be overlooked, but we even have to shore up our weaknesses, if we can. I’m balding, and I wear hats now. I’m short, so I’m in South East Asia.
But guys are out there not only laying down to die, but “explaining” to other men that all men should lay down to die also, because something or other that has to do with it isn’t only losers who are losers and it’s not their own personal fault that they are losers and losers aren’t really losers and winners are actually the real losers.
I like to love and fuck attractive young women, so naturally I’ve found common interests in the wider manosphere and PUA types of sites. A diverse lot chimes in, including the man-boobed ass-burgers.
Here is a comment from yesterday over at the goingyourownway micro-penis-circle-jerk forum.*
*And what else should I call a group of incels and spergs who pat themselves on the back for being unable and unwilling to compete in the sexual marketplace? Is it shaming language? Look, for the most part I see MGTOW guys as lazy fat socially retarded idiots, who have no clue as to how inept they are, and who group together into a woman-haters-club of relationship fail. If that’s not shameful I don’t know what is. Being fat in itself is shameful. Fat fatties are fat. Refusing to even try to sexually compete? Ya. Sorry but I’m not sorry. Go ahead and roll over and die, but don’t expect to be lauded for it. If it were my son doing that I’d use shame and anything else possible to slap him out of his indulgence and work and compete. Get some fucking ambition.
I have observed before that women live to experience feelings. Good feelings, bad feelings – doesn’t matter. A woman lives to feel. Lives for drama. That drunk bitch, screaming at her boyfriend? She is having a grand old time. She feels truly alive.
So Mr Xplat here has decided to play the game, dating, relationships, plate-spinning, PUA, “Contemplative Dominance”. So self-aware, so ironic, so red-pill. The result? He winds up living on just the same level as any chick, batted around like a pinball by her hormones and the petty dramas in her life. And concludes in public that this, this is truly living.Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas. (Not to mention chlamydia, herpes, and AIDS.)
This is not the True Way.
A man lives to achieve.
What is the point of the power of reason if not to struggle against emotions?
I'm not going to feign pity on the Spock wannabees, and long experience with talking to the stupid and ego invested has shown again and again that it's pointless, so I'm not trying to start a reasonable dialogue with those incapable of it. But just in case there are those out there who are even slighty influenced by the cult-of-anti-intimacy that infects the manosphere, I need to speak up and influence you men. Because that's what men do – we help each other to not become total fuck ups. I will try to influence by talking about how in my OWN life, my personal day to day life, I face choices all the time, that affect my quality of life. Choices about how emotional to be.
I know, personally, and daily, that FEELING is directly related to overall quality of life. To personal and shared wellbeing, joy, contentment, ecstasy.
Nobody likes to suffer. The fact that we suffer is a fact – it’s not about a logical decision – it’s a fact. And we have no choice in the matter – we don’t like it. We can’t choose to like it, we can’t choose to accept it as it is. It is a biological fact that pain decreases quality of life – it’s a tautology. And it’s not just about avoiding pain. Pleasure increases quality of life. And there are plenty of known ways to increase and share pleasure. Increasing and sharing pleasure in mutually sustainable ways is good manners and good civics and good Christmas cheer and proper orgy etiquette.
And if the blatantly obvious were a silver nail you could not hammer it into the thick skulls of some of these ego-invested MGTOW tards.
“Emotions?!!! Emotions?!!! I don't understand. What are emotions? Why? Why oh why oh why?! Emotions and sex? It’s horrible. HORRIBLE I tell you!”
Good god man. Spergs and burgers.
I spent many hours two days ago, listening to this Leonard Cohen song, as interpreted by Anthony, over and over. I found it haunting and oddly spiritual. It was condusive to chi-kung.
And then while at the gym today, it finally struck me. Leonard Cohen suffered long bouts of depression, and it shows up in his songs, and the entire tone of this song is one of giving over ones will. One line in it is “and end this night, if it be your will.” That’s not spiritual. That’s just laying down and giving up. That’s not some sort of spiritual “acceptance”, whatever that could possibly mean. It’s just abrogating responsibility and lowering your own testosterone. It’s not a take charge attitude.
If it be YOUR will? No. If it be MY will. If I decide. I am in charge of what I am in charge of. And it’s a lot.
On the other hand in order to open up our perceptions there is a lot of letting go that needs to happen. A relaxing past our current expectations and ego invested definitions of who we are.
So I’ll allow a spiritual letting go into our wider Self, and I’ll allow projecting out that Self onto a mythical other, as an exercise of growth to reach out into now-ness with open eyed wonder and appreciation.
Because that is an expression of OUR will. We own that too. We own it, and it’s good.
There is so much going on in my life right now that is a result of my will. So many great things. Perhaps I’ll get to that in another post.
If there is a point I’d like readers to take away from this post, it’s this; enjoying life is a habit. A habit that we can cultivate. And to maximize how much pleasure we can bring to others, it’s also a habit that we must cultivate.
One way I increase enjoyment with my girls is to sometimes do various role play games, in order to heighten emotions. A favorite is daddy-daughter, because that heightens feelings of genuine paternal love. Ya, it’s kinky, but get past that for long enough to get to the heart of the matter – the why of the kink. It greatly increases genuine affection, which hugely increases mutual satisfaction. That’s a major life hack, right there.
As does chi-kung – HUGE increase in sensitivity and power.
Emotions are necessary tools, the value of which could never be overstated. They are essential to our maximized life. And we can’t have only good ones.
Update: Paul Murray writes: ” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder ≠ Asperger’s Syndrome. “
I’d never heard of that disorder, and it’s a fascinating read. Yes, Schizoid personality disorder closely matches some of what is expressed by many MGTOWs. In previous posts I’ve also mentioned that MGTOWs seem to have attachment disorders, such as the Dismissive–avoidant attachment style and the article on Schizoids says that some people think these are either related or the same thing. It’s also mentions that comparisons of SPD (schizoid personality disorder) and aspergers have been made, and that there are overlaps and differences.
Here is the money quote from the SPD wikipedia page:
“Only schizoid patients”, suggests Klein, “who have worked through the abandonment depression … ultimately will believe that the capacity for relatedness and the wish for relatedness are woven into the structure of their beings, that they are truly part of who the patients are and what they contain as human beings. It is this sense that finally allows the schizoid patient to feel the most intimate sense of being connected with humanity more generally, and with another person more personally. For the schizoid patient, this degree of certainty is the most gratifying revelation, and a profound new organizer of the self experience.
I’ve been making similar statements over and over in so many different ways on this blog.
This seemingly Buddhist notion of trying to be independent is a pathology. We are inherently interconnected. We CAN’T be fully ourselves, and maximally happy, without awareness of and inclusion of our social lives. We ARE social. We don’t just have social lives – we are fundamentally social.
Update: And from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy#Atypical_response
Atypical empathic responses have been associated with autism spectrum disorders; particular personality disorders such as psychopathy, borderline, narcissistic, and schizoid personality disorders; conduct disorder; schizophrenia; bipolar disorder; and depersonalization.
It then goes on to describe different ways those on the autistic spectrum are clueless in their ability to understand why other men like to fuck and have normal human emotions:
The interaction between empathy and the autism spectrum is a complex and ongoing field of research. Several different factors are proposed to be at play here.
A study of high-functioning adults with autism spectrum disorders found an increased prevalence of alexithymia, a personality construct characterized by the inability to recognize and articulate emotional arousal in oneself or others. Based on fMRI studies, alexithymia is responsible for a lack of empathy. The lack of empathic attunement inherent to alexithymic states may reduce quality and satisfaction of relationships. Recently, a study has shown that high-functioning adults with autism appear to have a range of responses to music similar to that of neurotypical individuals, including the deliberate use of music for mood management. Clinical treatment of alexithymia could involve using a simple associative learning process between musically induced emotions and their cognitive correlates. A study has suggested that the empathy deficits associated with the autism spectrum may be due to significant comorbidity between alexithymia and autism spectrum conditions rather than a result of social impairment.
Mirror neuron activity
One study found that, relative to typically developing children, high-functioning children with autism showed reduced mirror neuron activity in the brain’s inferior frontal gyrus (pars opercularis) while imitating and observing emotional expressions. EEG evidence revealed that there was significantly greater mu suppression in the sensorimotor cortex of autistic individuals. Activity in this area was inversely related to symptom severity in the social domain, suggesting that a dysfunctional mirror neuron system may underlie social and communication deficits observed in autism, including impaired theory of mind and empathy. The mirror neuron system is essential for emotional empathy.
Theory of mind
Previous studies have suggested that autistic individuals have impaired theory of mind. Theory of mind is the ability to understand the perspectives of others. The terms cognitive empathy and theory of mind are often used synonymously, but due to a lack of studies comparing theory of mind with types of empathy, it is unclear whether these are equivalent. Theory of mind relies on structures of the temporal lobe and the pre-frontal cortex, and empathy, i.e. the ability to share the feelings of others, relies on the sensorimotor cortices as well as limbic and para-limbic structures. Francesca Happe showed that autistic children who demonstrate a lack of theory of mind lack it for their self as well as for others. The lack of clear distinctions between theory of mind and empathy may have resulted in an incomplete understanding of the empathic abilities of those with Asperger syndrome; many reports on the empathic deficits of individuals with Asperger syndrome are actually based on impairments in theory of mind.
Cognitive and affective empathy
Studies have found that individuals on the autism spectrum self-report lower levels of empathic concern, show less or absent comforting responses toward someone who is suffering, and report equal or higher levels of personal distress compared to controls. The combination of reduced empathic concern and increased personal distress may lead to the overall reduction of empathy in those on the autism spectrum. Professor Simon Baron-Cohen suggests that those with classic autism often lack both cognitive and affective empathy. Research also suggests that people with Asperger syndrome may have problems understanding others’ perspectives in terms of theory of mind, but on average demonstrate equal empathic concern as and higher personal distress than controls. The generally heightened personal distress in those with autism spectrum conditions has been offered as an explanation to the claim that at least some people with autism would appear to have heightened emotional empathy, although emotional empathy depends on mirror neuron activity, which (as described previously) has been found to be reduced in those with autism, and empathy in people on the autism spectrum is generally reduced.
The empathizing–systemizing (E-S) theory suggests that people may be classified on the basis of their capabilities along two independent dimensions, empathizing (E) and systemizing (S). These capabilities may be inferred through tests that measure someone’s Empathy Quotient (EQ) and Systemizing Quotient (SQ). Five different “brain types” can be observed among the population based on the scores, which should correlate with differences at the neural level. In the E-S theory, autism and Asperger syndrome are associated with below-average empathy and average or above-average systemizing. The E-S theory has been extended into the Extreme Male Brain theory, which suggests that people with an autism spectrum condition are more likely to have an “Extreme Type S” brain type, corresponding with above-average systemizing but challenged empathy (see the next section).
Atypical empathy is associated with some personality disorders, including psychopathy, borderline, narcissistic, and schizoid personality disorders.
Schizoid personality disorder
Characteristics of schizoid personality disorder include emotional coldness, detachment, and impaired affect corresponding with an inability to be empathetic and sensitive towards others.
And I’ll copy my comments below into this main post, as they are relevant to the empathy and theory of mind disorders listed above:
The vast majority of them seem to be incapable of having any empathy with the common human condition – that we are a pair bonding species who like to fuck. Over and over they act surprised. Day after day. Their hobby is being surprised at the obvious.
The closest I’ve seen an MGTOW guy coming to terms with the fact that people like to mate is handwaving at sex with mentioning that fucking is ok, sometimes, if it’s a freeby that comes along, or if a guy pays for it. But never go after it.
And that does NOT address emotional bonding AT ALL. They literally can not even see the subject at all. It’s completely invisible to them.
Want intimacy? Oh, pay a prostitute.
Ass-burgers are NOT men who go their own way. They are men who use shaming language against anyone who doesn’t have ass-burgers. Nya nya nya nya nya! You like to fuck and have emotions!
It’s the Dunning-Kruger effect gone wild. The incompetent are too incompetent to realize that they are incompetent. So you have a self selected group of the most socially incompetent people on the planet making socio-sexual commentary.
It’s the retard class barging in on the teachers meeting, “explaining” that the teachers are ignorant.
MGTOW guys refuse to compete, and are therefore losers. And they then want to not only stop others from keeping score, but want to gather together and make new rules such that the real losers are the people who successfully enjoy sex and romance.
Update: Regardless of a persons social ability, it would seem that learning and playing music should heighten emotional facility, and intersubjective social ability. It’s long been known that piano playing generally enhances overall brain development in children. I expect that adults would have benefits in many areas as well.
I’ve been using rolipram, which enhances memory formation and generates new neurons. I’ll be looking into other neurogenesis and learning enhancing supplements – I’ve found many so far that look very promising.
I’ve had periods of my life where I was socially awkward, and have seen a trend of improvement. So I expect that with some supplemental aids to neuroplasticity plus regular training, many people can greatly alter their inter-personal approaches, and find new ways to enrich their emotional lives. For me it’s new to have a team of guys to interact with. For other people it will be new to date young hotties. New stuff will require stretching and learning new abilities.
A general attitude of personal and interpersonal growth with the overarching framework of maximizing personal and group happiness is necessary, but not sufficient to realizing ones full potential.