Men who find seducing women a lot of trouble for little reward often question “why should I bother?”.
I sometimes get a bit irritated at the question. Is it my responsibility to give someone a point of view? Is someone trying to force a point of view? It seems to me that those who ask “why bother” are trying to argue about what is a good life mission.
That’s up to you. I don’t see anyone trying to force anyone else into doing anything.
If you see no reason to bother, then please, don’t bother.
My question was practical not philosophical.
Not “why bother?”, instead “am I sure the ratio cost/benefit is good for me?”
Of course, it is that way or the highway, as they say.
Ok, if it’s a question of cost/reward, then you see some rewards.
Game and a more realistic view of women gives you different rewards than you currently can see.
So with practice the rewards get bigger, while the irritations get easier to deal with, and even get smaller.
The entire setup of what is the cost and what is the reward changes as your approach changes.
But that won’t happen NOW. You can’t get there from here, you can only start here. You can’t know what you don’t yet know – there will remain there for a while yet, and won’t be mentally reachable from here.
The costs to gaming girls is doing things that are uncomfortable. With practice these things become not only more comfortable, but second nature and natural. The pain of drama never entirely disappears, but it becomes much more bearable.
The rewards can be more than currently imagined. A woman who loves and dotes makes a mans heart wake up and go to sleep warm and sweet. That’s a priceless reward. Great sex where two people mingle in ecstatic union is nothing to sniff at. An easy warm companionship where a glance holds a wealth of friendship and an understanding of mutual purpose makes life more than bearable; simple interactions become ongoing pleasures.
Update: Good Luck Chuck has a point that I hadn’t considered, and I’m not sure if my thoughts in reply are just brushing him off, but still, I believe it when I reply to:
Easy to say when you live around feminine women who deserve to be treated as more than cum dumpsters.
With american girls the costs don’t outweigh the benefits because women aren’t held to any kind of standard of femininity. They utterly fail to inspire masculinity in me. These women DON’T deserve the effort. These days I only put forth minimal effort to get my needs met. That’s it.
You might be right about that, GLC. It’s been over a decade since I’ve been in the west. However the world has changed in the east as well. There are different challenges over here – especially with women being slutty vixens trying to ensnare a provider. Or just as dangerous virginal girls trying ensnare a provider. The war of the sexes may be played out slightly differently, but it’s the same basic battle; to gain hand and get a woman who does not want to do your bidding to do your bidding and love it. Women always imagine they will be driving the relationship with their pussy.
I’ll agree that there is a lot to be preferred here. Just saying that even though it can be a better initial working material, you can’t just find some girl you like, and seduce her, maintain attraction, and live happily ever after. I’ve found a great deal of molding must take place. Even here. I could write a long post about the incredible changes this particular girl of mine has undergone under my hand. I’m talking about making wholesale personality changes in a completely unacceptable girl.
I hear you though that women in SE Asia at least play up their femininity, usually. But in my case being SE Asia was no help towards femininity this time. My current girl was a major tomboy, to the point of being near butch. I’ve had to make her feminine. She was also your basic independent feminist minded woman. I had to make her something completely different. It is a skill to start with poor working materials and create art. And it’s no easy task anywhere in the world to make a woman into a love slave.
A huge part of creating a workable relationship is changing the girl into something she never considered to become.
Changing a girl to be acceptable requires a skill set that you don’t hear about much – if at all. That skill set changes what is possible in life. And that skill set I will argue and I do believe can be applied cross culturally. It is basic operant conditioning, plus deep understandings of how women work. Day by day you mold a woman, day by day she is not the same girl you first met. Day by day she loves you more and does your bidding more and becomes what you want her to become.
Good Luck Chuck
A lot has changed here in the past 10 years. Not only do you have the advantage of having better raw materials to work with, you also have leverage, which is something that western men lost when women started making their own money (and of course when the money isn’t there the government is more than happy to step in).
Now that’s a point I’m not going to argue with. Although I was broke for most of my time in Asia, I do now use my financial advantage to full effect. While my current girl could easily date any of her richer and more handsome suitors, and so she is not choosing to be with me or remain with me for money, none the less I’m able in this economy to keep her from working, and to focus on attending to me. I’m able to get her to believe that I can be a well endowed provider and generously take care of her future. I’m able to force her life direction at my decision.
Plus, now that I’m better at seducing women, I’m able to get her to believe that I’m a hot commodity that could easily replace her. Being a wealthy white man helps to make this believable.
It goes without saying that I keep her afraid of losing me as a strategy of keeping her both physically aroused and doting.
This girl is extremely independently minded, and tends to be career minded. My position here has been strong enough to change that. I tell her often that my plan is to make a good housewife out of her – to teach her to dote. I mention that she has huge resistance to it, but that this is how it’s going to work for now.
Those in the know of how female psychology works won’t be surprised to learn that when she describes why she loves me, she describes my project to turn her into a doting feminine woman as a main reason.
Would that be harder to pull off in the west? Yes, for two obvious reasons; the culture, and the economy.