Selfish bad boy traits build attraction and sexual heat, and so naturally kind and empathetic men trying to build attraction discover that being an asshole gets the dick wet.

But it’s not a binary situation.

Beta traits are attractive, they just don’t generate sexual heat. You can show up on time, and be a reliable good bloke, if that’s your predisposition. Reliability won’t get a girl wet, but it is none the less attractive.

You can keep and be proud of all your beta traits – they aren’t problematic. But to generate heat you need to look inside yourself and find genuine emotions that you feel that are edgy, and express them.

You can lead with your beta and do fine. Girls will try to suck you in to their world as a provider, thinking they have an easy mark. That’s when you let out your inner bad boy – after you have put forth your weak foot. That’s called the beta bait and switch.

Of course that’s calibrated to the girl who is looking for a stable relationship with an easy mark.

Otherwise, even for the vixens looking for just fun, you don’t have to throw out the beta traits you take pride in. Maintain that pride. Then find your inner desires that you are ashamed to own up to and be selfish about, and wear them as a rightful badge of being a man. Your inner bad boy is not far away, and isn’t fake. You won’t have to search far and wide.

Update: related thoughts by Solomon on using beta as bait.