Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Whirwind date with beauty queen leads to her moving in

Posted by xsplat on October 28, 2014

She’s 18 and I’m crazy about her. I think most people would be.

She’s won a few beauty contests, sings, plays guitar, dances, is a screamer, is polite, loving, romantic, cheerful and emotionally open. An attentive conversationalist who is quick to understand, she reads the subtleties of my face while parsing the words. Strong English and some Spanish. Equal digit ratio and she races motorcycles, no matter how many times she falls down. And that tight fuck-me-body! She’s like me; built for adventure and public sex. And she seems as crazy about me as I am about her.

No resistance from either of us. Just a perfect fit – hand in glove. Just perfect.

I’m going to make her pregnant, and I’d have no qualms about marrying her tomorrow. I’m just crazy about her. She’s not just the prettiest girl in the room, she’s the best girl in the room.

I had to take a four hour flight just to meet her. The plan was to convert her from her evil ways and get her to fall in love. After all, that kind of thing has happened in my life before; five times girls have moved in on the first date.

I have no way to know how much was unconscious skill, and how much was just being myself in the right time in the right place. But not only was it mission accomplished, but she really blew me away. She’s so beautiful I get a little shy looking at her in the face. But she’s a great fuck so I’m getting over the shyness. But it’s not just the pretty face and the sex. She’s a baby making life changing keeper. She’s going to be my mate, companion and super-sexual love slave.

And so this Friday I’ll fly up there again and bring her back. She’s moving in.

I could see her walking around town with a big pregnant belly soon enough.

Meanwhile the virgin is still dawdling around trying to get me to meet her mother. People are different; I don’t need a safe chaste girl who never wants to step foot into a nightclub. I need the girl who is a flight risk, the girl who is difficult to keep. I’m built to catch and keep that kind of girl. A girl who can keep up and then some.

I’ve caused more pregnancies than I have fingers, but I never felt that it was the right mother to invest in. Finding a great mother is really extremely difficult! More so even than a great mate. Not only must the two of you have great chemistry that can last through years and even decades, but she needs great genes and she has to have had a solid, loving upbringing. She needs to be a debutante – an outstanding specimen with good manners and breeding, who can pass on culture as well as her superior stock.

I’ve seen on my fathers side of the family what happens when you breed well. You get a whole family of success, that perpetuates into more good breeding. All my cousins married hot debutantes and have incredible children. My own father was really a great Dad. Some of that must have rubbed off on me; I’ll make a great dad too. And I can see that this girl will be a great parent too; even and cheerful mood, attentive and all around fun. I’ve seen happy families with two solid and happy parents and laughing children. They are damn difficult to put together, but they exist. It starts with getting a top shelf girl. Damn difficult that.

And it’s like business. There are windows of opportunities. A good part of business acumen is just seeing the opportunity and jumping on it before it’s too late. Another part is making a higher probability to be in the right place at the right time. Another part is developing your situation such that you are able to act upon opportunities. Then you get a confluence that leads to a whirlwhind of what appears to be completely easy and natural.

Posted in Uncategorized | 40 Comments »

The high strung man

Posted by xsplat on October 19, 2014

Some people are high-energy and high strung, by nature. Some genes have been identified, and before those were found the personality component had been noticed. We don’t mellow much with age.

I broke up with N18 a few days ago, and have gone no contact. And my other squeeze is out of town. So now I have no energy release, and am way too frustrated to properly date and seduce this 21 year old virgin that I’ve been seeing. I don’t even want to see her if I can’t fuck her on the spot. I’d never be able to tone down my energy to match hers, and what with her unawakened libido and lifetime of swimming in no-sex-before-marriage conservative values, my wild horse raw power would just spook her.

It’s not just women who have a dual mating strategy; men also have strong pair bonding and paternal urges, plus want to fuck around with the best that they can get. A woman’s focus will shift depending on her cycle, and men’s focus shifts depending on circumstance. Right now I’m much less interested in setting up house and home with the virgin – I need a high energy now girl, who oozes and bubbles with bubble butt passion.

A lot of music I just don’t get, because I can’t understand what emotion it is trying to convey.

But today, this music is my internal state:

***

Some girls intuitively realize that if a man is in a high energy, positive state, he’s more attractive and more interested in hunting. And so they have a two pronged mate guarding strategy:
1) be highly sexual and work overtime to keep the man sexually satisfied
2) be as much of a downer and source of turmoil as possible, without losing the man altogether.

And that’s why I’ve had to jettison such a tight and willing love slave. She is built to work really hard to be a downer. That’s a habit she can’t break. High conflict and personality disordered people are like that as well. Great and addictive in the sack, but the addiction comes at a cost.

As painful as having too much crawling-the-walls energy can be, I know that I need that much motivation to change my just-comfortable-enough circumstance for the better.

***
A DJ knows to mix up the moods, as neuron fatigue means we can’t sustain any one mood for long. But we can still pack a lot of emotional energy into quieter and lower tempo moments:



***

Our theories of mind for other are built foremost out of our personal experience, so when we come across people with different biological underpinnings to their thought processes, it can be challenging to get any realistic grasp on what is going on with them.

High strung guys can embody a lot of physical, emotional, and sexual energy. You can’t tell them to tone-it-the-fuck down and expect anything other than a dog’s throaty bark in return. We manage our lives differently, and are not only unable to tone it down, we’d never want to. We see lower energy and affect people as walking zombies, and have a hard time understanding why they don’t tone-it-the-fuck up.



We interpret art into personal meaning. For me this next song embodies the alienation that comes from holding more energy than those around you. “I think it’s going to be a long long time, till touch down brings me round again to find, I’m not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no! I’m a rocket man!”



In my life I’ve had a very rare few lovers with whom I regularly touched down to find out who is rocket man. That’s when I’m really fully myself, and really known for who I am.

***

At 21 it could seem that only my high powered sports bikes really understood me. Perfect outward expression of an internal state; man, twisty mountain road, and machine. Foot-peg scraping is a solitary experience, known to few.

***

Every heritable genetic trait is only conserved because it provides a reproductive benefit; at least within certain niches.

Therefore aloof bad boy game is not cookie cutter applicable. Higher strung guys need to play to our strengths – and boy do we have them. And it has NOTHING to do with being aloof.

Any man is going to have his own particular styles and strengths, and he can’t emulate someone else exactly to find out what his own style and strengths are.

***
Little Steve Marriot packed an explosive emotional punch into his voice. I suspect he couldn’t help it. Pay attention to the free flow of emotions on his face, especially the aggressive micro-expressions. For him bliss and aggression were not in opposition. And in his voice he shifts so effortlessly between sweet cooing romance with fuck her hard from behind aggressive passion and full throttle bliss that it’s hard to even notice the changes. This mans strong emotions were his instrument – expressed through his voice and music.

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments »

Does the pine refuse to grow because of forest fires?

Posted by xsplat on October 17, 2014

Once you burn your hand on a stove, you know to avoid doing it again.

We don’t just avoid stoves altogether. We USE them.

Love has it’s seasons. When you are in the beginnings of an infatuation, your mood brightens so much that even colors get richer. Music becomes more meaningful. You are high throughout your day, and even into your sleep. You are more deeply relaxed, and excited at the same time. You are happier, and people around you become happier too.

And then it all turns to crap and you feel like you wake up in the morning to being in the dentist chair.

Does spring go on boycott because of the inevitability of winter? Does the pine hold off on sprouting because it is aware of the implications of being sprouted out of ash? No, the very ecology of the forest relies on fire. Ya, love is temporary. Ya, the forest is going to burn. The forest is on fire, long live the forest!

Do you drink coffee? Smoke? Drink occasionally? Love is a drug. It can be used to improve our quality of life. And it is hands down the BEST drug. There is nothing better. That’s a flat out fact. Love and sex are the ultimate life improvement tools.

Man invented controlled fire. We didn’t see a forest fire and swear it off because it’s dangerous.

My favorite form of fire is a huge face burning spark stuttering bonfire.

Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

You can’t stamp game knowledge into people with a cookie cutter. We vary greatly.

Posted by xsplat on October 16, 2014

I’m guilty of reading rivelino’s blog without commenting much. I know as a blog writer we sort of get paid for our efforts in the satisfaction of getting comments, so I’ve been short-changing him. He’s a thoughtful and insightful guy, and his twitter feed is cool too.

Lately he’s been thinking about his desire for an all around worthy girl – someone who isn’t a tatted up slut without any future time orientation or sexual self control and who has some brains and drive. He received some advice from Tom Torrero that his desires are founded in wrong thinking, and show a lack of truly swallowing the red pill. Tom thinks Riv suffers from a Madonna/whore complex, and should give up these silly sexual preferences, as they are just childish and stubborn holdovers from naive blue pill ways.

I made these comments on some of his posts:

Men and women both have a wide variety of socio-sexual scores. Some women DO marry as virgins and DO die only having ever had sex with their husband.

In any group of women in any country, there will be a wide variance in the desire for novelty and openness to new sexual experiences.

It’s black and white thinking based on the need to protect the ego from loss to try to correct for an error in thinking that may not be an error at all. Sure, all women should be seen of as a risk for infidelity. We never know. But it’s lying to ourselves in order to inure ourselves from the pain of heartbreak to say that all women will sooner or later fuck some other guy.

Yes, even virgins that a man marries are a risk. But risk is not equal to certainty. If it was we would use a different word.

********

You seem to clearly know what you DO feel.

And isn’t that the question you need an answer to? Or is it what you SHOULD feel, or could train yourself to feel?

It’s natural, normal, healthy and good to want a holistic experience with a woman. Why shouldn’t it be. People do it all the time.

I’m sick of my 18 year old banana brain. She gives great head unprompted, all the time, but you can’t talk to her. And that makes me sick of her.

Of course you have standards. You’re supposed to.

Fucking for fun is fun. So is chocolate. It’s fine to fuck for fun and eat some chocolate. But you want a meal. That’s not a pathology.

That’s evolution too – your forefathers wanted a smart wife, and you wound up being a smart guy. Thank the feeling you have now for your own brains.

******

I think Tom has the wrong attitude about “game” and girls. It’s too cookie cutter.

Men and women have wide variance. We don’t all feel the same things or want the same things.

I, for instance, likely have genes that make me a bit more anxious and prone to novelty seeking, and these have been correlated with an increased libido. So I fuck a few times or more per day, every day, year after year and decade after decade, even now into my late forties. I’ve also been romantically involved with girls since the age of three. Every single year of my life since age three, I’ve had a love interest. So for me oxytocin is a physical and psychological need.

I would never assume that other guys share my needs. I’m biologically and genetically built slightly differently than other people.

There is no cookie cutter approach to a man’s needs.

*******
By the way, if you read this blog by RSS, I should remind you that my writing process is to immediately publish my first drafts, and then to work them over the next few hours. So the posts on the blog and the RSS feed are very different. I would suggest you use RSS only to let you know I have a new post, and to click over to read (and comment) here.

Update: And from a related comment left on Krauser’s recent post where he denounces the natural inclination to form powerful bonds with our women as an error of judgment:

For some, perhaps most people, the oxytocin bonding and love rush are extremely pleasurable, in a long lasting way. Some sustain that feeling of improved mood for 6 months to two years, or even longer.

Oxytocin IS meaning. When people feel an emotional sense of meaning, it is very often directly connected to oxytocin.

It’s perfectly reasonable and pragmatic to go through seasons of love. Do you denounce the value of summer because there is always winter?

This idea that love is an error is itself the error.

Love can be as meaningful and joyful as can an excellent spring and summer. Far more so.

People who take impermanence as a sign of a reason to not enjoy are making a massive error in how to fully enjoy being fully alive and human. Of course love is a temporary madness. So what? Is that some sort of an unmanageable problem? No, it’s not. All the emotions of love can be handled properly, and it can be included properly into a rich, full life.

*******
and:

It is an arrogance that borders on religious zeal to make this assumption that the natural inclination to form strong bonds with our women is fundamentally an error in judgment.

It is not necessarily so. An introspective and skilled man will be able to use the winds of emotions and understand the currents and seasons, and navigate.

Some of you guys talk as if winds are nothing but uncontrollable storms, to be avoided at all costs. Have you no sense of navigation at all?

Humans are born to get MAXIMUM possible pleasure in life through the experiences relating to procreation; sex and love.

It is therefore a no brainer. If you want maximimum happiness, you have to know how to USE these emotions. To navigate.

Love is not an uncontrollable tempest at all. It is a tool.

An adult human male who can not use that tool is not living up to his full potential for happiness.

****
and:

And let’s all stop pretending that we are unaware of the variety of options that we have with women. It’s time to stop pretending that it’s a choice between divorce rape and pump and dump.

Serial and parallel monogamy are not some rare moon meteorites, heard of but never seen. The options are not stark and polar at all. It’s natural and normal and common to have strong romantic attachments that don’t lead to ruin.

Update 2: And another related comment to Riv’s new post:

And yet it is a scientifically verifiable and verified fact that all humans have a socio-sexuality that lies upon a continuum.

That goes for men, as well as women.

Yes, circumstance and even life stages will affect our openness to non-monogamy. But it is as common as morning sunshine for a girl to be relatively locked down. For a while at least.

And in my experience even a girl with a hugely slutty past can become intensely bonded to a guy.

I think some guys are taking on a philosophy that pair bonding is an error. And that philosophy is an error.

I’ve had personal experiences of lasting loving relationships where the girl was relatively locked down, for long periods. With both virgins and sluts. I never thought it was a permanent situation, nor aimed for one, but the data is obvious that for some people lifetime monogamy DOES happen.

Good girls are just bad girls who didn’t get caught? Yes, and also they are just bad girls who didn’t fuck another guy yet. That DOES indisputably happen. For some periods of time it is even to be expected with girls. They are capable of and enjoy being relatively locked down.

****
and:

And keep in mind that I’m also an advocate of mate guarding.

Let’s keep our nuance.

Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments »

Pre-rational developmentally impaired testosterone challenged haters are narcissists

Posted by xsplat on September 17, 2014

You can’t argue with manginas or feminists.

And there are very weird brain wiring reasons why arguing with them is futile.
david-futrelle-manboob

People with disorganized personalities, such as the cluster B personality disorder narcissism, quite literally CAN NOT hold any thought which is self-critical. Think about that for a moment. Their brain will not allow certain thoughts to happen.

Developmental psychology is an established field with decades of solid scientific research behind it, that shows us that humans naturally develop through stages of mental maturation. Piaget was one of the first researchers to propose the broad outlines of developmental theory. Research has shown that a large percentage of the population remains throughout adulthood as developmentally impaired; that is they remain pre-rational. Rationality is not an organ of perception that exists to them. They “think” with emotional biases and rationalizations.

mangina

When you combine narcissism and pre-rational thinking, you get argument-by-assertion. This is where reality is considered as nothing more than a social construct, that can be altered by a group gathering together and agreeing what is real or not. For instance to an emotional thinker, a man does not have a real physical object between his legs that is his penis. His penis is entirely created out of nothing more substantial than gossip. “Oh, you drive a red convertible sports car? Then you MUST have a small penis! Ha ha!”

For such people, certain realities literally CAN NOT exist. Their brain will refuse to hold the thoughts. You can try over and over in a thousand different ways to get their brain to visualize a thought, but your best possible reward will be narcissistic rage. More likely will be avoidance through complete retreat. Their brain wiring will NEVER allow certain thoughts to be even briefly visualized.

Argument-by-eye-rolling is the go-to tactic for a hive of narcissists. This is because truth seeking through argument is not considered the point. The point is consensus, so if everybody mutually eye rolls, then the job is done. If you do not automatically join in the eye rolling, then everything you say MUST be wrong. It is pure in-group vs out-group mental construction. There are good people and bad people, good thoughts and bad thoughts. There is no truth that causes feel bads – if there are feel bads then it’s not true. Emotional “logic”. Another go-to emotional “argument” is to slander through associations. It makes NO difference to this type of thinking if such associations have any basis in reality. Remember, the penis is not a measurable object to such people. It is ALL social construct. And so if a guy dates 18 year olds, automatically you will immediately hear about paedophilia. Regardless of what he says and does, it’s time to associate him with paedophilia. Because that works, for these disordered and developmentally impaired brains. That is how they logic.

As examples here are some comments on my last post from the manboobs blog:

“I am going to doubt that any 18 year old girl is really into him. His money might be another story. “

“He’s joking. It’s a fucking satire blog for gods sake. “

I won’t bother mining the rest of the comments for idiocy. It is difficult to find any exception to the rule that manboobs are incapable of imagining ego-threatening ideas, such that an 18 year old girl can maintain a passionate affair with an old man who is consciously skilled in maintaining a sexually charged romantic relationship where he remains dominant and has hand.

I’ve notices that groups of men-going-their-own way are also skewed towards the fat, ugly, and retarded. As are feminists.

It is a type of sexual strategy to discount the competition, and is evolved. Sexual socialism through peer pressure.

But it will never occur to such people that their attempts are impotent. Does the cheerleader care what feminists think about her dating the “misogynist” quarterback? No, real power is not about group consensus. Real power is about real influence. Who is fucking who is as measurable as dick size. And manboobs are not the ones getting the choice action. Man boobs, MGTOW boobs, and feminists are often the socio-sexual discards of this world, and they are discarded for good reason.

I was having a fireside discussion with two Netherlandic women, one aged 46 and fat and ugly, and the other 22 and cute. They were both outraged by the fact that when I choose the age ranges of women I’m searching for on dating sites, I type in from 18-24. The younger one lacked any semblance of emotional or intellectual control, and her outrage brought her into a euphoric ecstasy of hysterical slander. Her first tactic was to reduce the minimum age of who I was looking for, first to 16, and then twelve. My first response to her was to repeat over and over, in a tone at once bored and irritated “why should I care what you think?” When she insinuated that no young women would want me, I mentioned that my two long-term girlfriends are 18 and 25. She assumed that her look of incredulity and outrage was an argument, in and of itself. Whereas once again “why should I care?” In retrospect I should have just given her N18s phone number and told her to talk it out with her. Because my experience is that ALWAYS such women are 100% completely impotent with their rage. I’m sure by now hundreds of women have counselled my various girls to leave me. And all my girls do is to tell me about it, and we both share a chortle.

By the way it was the older woman who had the maturity and insightful introspection to notice that the real reason my choice of women bothered her is because it made her feel insecure about maintaining a companionate relationship. She didn’t want men to be able to have any other options but to stick with their women as they let themselves slide into becoming fat and asexual. The notion of doting hotties to her was deeply disturbing, as was lust based relationships. But for all her insight, she was not capable to make the mental leap of putting herself in a man’s shoes, and imagining that what might work best for him is not in her best interest.

The young girl finally backed off when I mentioned that I had recently broken up with N18, but relented to her begging me to stay. “SHE begged YOU?!”, she incredulated. After a pause, she softened for the first time. “Oh, you must be great in bed”.

“How did you know?”

“It’s the only reason I’d stay with a man like you”. After that she kept mentioning how my alternate lifestyle was “interesting”. Even my sleeping schedule was noted to her to be “interesting”.

When peoples sexual strategies are threatened, in their strong emotion they are prone to thought patterns that are pre-rational and solipsistic. And many people are in a default state of pre-rational narcissism. Such people often get a big kick out of the emotion of outrage, and want a group pity party or group slander. Men and women both do this, on any side of any fence; feminists and MGTOW manboobs, and social conservatives, and social justice warriors.

And this is a reason I very often mention that habits of mind are important to be cautious about. Narcissism is NOT your friend, not even as a seduction aid.

Related from 2003: Not all homo sapiens are human

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

How rough sex and mate guarding relate

Posted by xsplat on August 9, 2014

Pimp hand.

It’s been said that you can’t negotiate attraction, and if I’m reading Rollo correctly, he implies that mate guarding also can’t be explicit. One is meant to just get it and be the best option and cause dread and maintain sexual tension, thereby the woman will behave.

But that strategy is not usually optimal.

Mate guarding can be just another display of dominance. And just another facet of paternal love.

Society as a whole remains agnostic as to the value of judiciously spanking recalcitrant children. We remain agnostic because at a fundamental level we realize that the parents have the right to choose. Their children are THEIR children. They literally belong to them.

Much of sexual love is an add on and re-working of mammalian Daddy/daughter love, and also mother/son love. Men who want to retain sexual tension in the long term must keep the relationship as Daddy/daughter.

You have a right to punish, if she accepts that you have the right to punish.

1) Laying ownership claims is brute force sexy. Women at a fundamental level understand that while they will always struggle to be a free agent, that when properly owned she can be an entirely different kind of person. A deeply sexually charged, constantly submissive and sexually engaged, better woman. A woman with direction.

2) Even though fancy boys may turn on your attention whore, and even though she is prone to temptation, just the very fact that you lay down the law is a big button – it can in the end work better than a pretty face.

3) Children and women need boundaries. They will test and act out to the limit of those boundaries. Some children respond well to a gentle word. Some wind up in juvie despite every best effort. Some pimps and parents reward and discipline purely psychologically, while others get physical. Some children learn and behave well under gentle conditions of subtle hints and direction, others have stubborn negative habits that require more forceful re-direction.

A woman who is owned is a very different creature from one who considers herself a strong independent woman.

An owned woman will give you her all, just for the opportunity to remain owned.

It is an error to think that if the man is in such a weak position that he must mate guard, that he has already lost. It is simply part of the job description of being a man. If you do your job properly, sooner or later you must discipline your daughter. That is not a position of weakness, it’s a position of authority.

I’m in Bali now with N18, a 32 year old ex who I met when she was 23 who is now a long term companion/worker, and a potential new intern/partner. We were out clubbing and N18 started to get jealous of the attention that the older woman was getting. We share an easy sympatico, naturally. So she started to act out a bit and attention whore on the stage and the dance floor. I’d had a lot to drink, and so by the time we got home my emotions were unrestrained. I called her out on her behaviour, and was not gentle. As usual I was awoken with blowjobs and the day was filled with constant attentive behavior. Plus. This is not a reaction out of fear, it is a pure bonding reaction.

You don’t own it if you don’t claim it.

Posted in Uncategorized | 24 Comments »

How to negotiate desire with a woman.

Posted by xsplat on July 28, 2014

Women process information differently, so a man can not be direct.

You can’t tell a woman “I need you to be supportive now so that I can be at my best to win over these clients.” Because her emotional processing will tell her that she has hand over you, and as soon as she has hand she loses primal motivation to suck up to you.

You have to make it seem like it was her idea.

You tell her the same message, but in the same way women communicate messages to each other.

Indirectly.

You let her know that you are about to close a new business deal. Imply at first that you won’t have time for her while you do this. Let the room feel your vibe that you know that your improved status is going to put you into improved social situations.

Just as she’s feeling the dread that you are not going to need her anymore, cut her in. Assume her support, as if it’s an afterthought.

“You are going to have to pick him up at the airport.”

You’ve just communicated the exact same message, but in a way that moves emotions rhetorically.

Persuasion requires understanding the mind of the listener. It will change for every person you talk to. Sometimes you use the hard sell, sometimes you tersely tell the facts, some times you don’t sell at all, and all do is casually converse.

Women have different minds than men do, and so persuasion with women requires building years of interaction in order to build up useful theories of mind. You can’t just tell them what you want.

But it is a negotiation.

If you force a smile, you force an improved mood. If you put a woman into a red party dress and have her hold your elbow, you change her attitude towards you.

It IS a negotiation.

It’s just a set of rules that are not innately known to men.

Women operate at an initial relationship advantage, if they are hot. A hottie virgin can tool an old man, purely out of instinct. But once you learn the language, you get the advantage. Because you can apply male intellect to the game.

You have to negotiate your position such that she wants what you are selling, and thinks it’s in her best interest to buy it.

And limiting her options is also a very useful sales tactic. Tactics for that are broad, and very rarely discussed, outside of talking about social conservative rules of appropriate upright conduct. I think it’s more effective to realistically limit her options, not to pretend that some fantasy “society” exists that can limit them, if only you could inform “society” of how important it was to do so.

If you are a woman’s best option, her emotions will follow. That is a negotiation. I’m not talking about a narcissistic false front of appearance, and I’m not only talking about spinning facts into a believable slanted narrative. It’s every possible move you can make; going to the gym, conversation and sexual skills, constraining her flirting, push and pull, selling a real dream of giving her a financial future, keeping her addicted emotionally on every level you can, and whatever other tricks you have and can learn.

Sometimes you can even spell it out, and explain exactly what you are doing, and explain why other men don’t get her hot. Pulling back the curtain won’t stop the magic.

But it’s still a negotiation, and fundamentally you are in sales. You work on your product, your presentation, and your emotional connection to the buyer.

For women, that connection requires that she looks up to you, and that any neediness shown is doled out in careful calculated doses; just enough to assuage her need for security.

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

How the fighting spirit makes a routine out of turning loss into gain

Posted by xsplat on July 20, 2014

It’s not only necessity that mothers invention. It’s also loss.

Emotions are tricky to work through. You need to acknowledge them and that leads to some down time. But it’s not only that you can’t keep a good man down. It’s that the challenges make the man. Literally.

Challenges create opportunities.

It’s the defeats and the losses and the setbacks that directly lead to the biggest long term wins. I’m not trying to talk in metaphors or inspirations. That’s how the world actually works.

I’m going through some relationship restructuring with one of my girls. Her figure compels me to fuck her and maintain her attraction for me, by all means necessary. I’ve developed some skills, so she remains addicted, and views me still as the strongest interest. For now. But it will fall apart.

Because of a cultivated fighting spirit and constantly seeking to realistically better my position, I have developed skillfull, insightful, outside the box ways to do better.

In fact my plan is to impregnate five super hot model teenage girls of my exact body preferences. And have them all be very smart. And in love with me.

I found out today that my number one main man apprentice, adopted son, best friend and business partner will be moving on to apprentice with another charismatic and wise mentor. It’s a serious and heartbreaking loss. Of course I’ll miss the guy. People are not fungible; a steak sandwich can’t replace poached salmon. An apple can’t replace an orange. There is only one of him, and that one won’t be replaced.

But because he was so valuable, there is a noticed need. And because now I am stronger and wiser and more adept and have better connections, I’m in a better place to fill the broad need.

Partly because of my number one, the income here has increased. I’ve also been working on my own projects. If I were to count chickens from eggs (and I’ve been wrong every time I’ve done that), I would count that within two months income will increase by at least 50k per month. And I have a realistic goal of making 1/2 million per month within a year, if not within six months.

So instead of cutting in interns at the ground floor, this will open up other options of enticing the best and the brightest using traditional means of mere salary. I’m going to pay locals a very good rate, and will even look to recruit the best and the brightest westerners. Using dollar figures, instead of a piece of the future.

I’m not going to detail my plans for getting the teen-up-to-21 agers in love and impregnated. But I’m not only confident I can do it, I KNOW I can do it. The hottest and smartest and most capable mothers and companions. Just getting one for an old ugly man most would consider impossible. I know how I’m going to get five. And in the process of getting them I might fuck dozens or scores.

It’s the loss that leads to this. Comfort is great, but it doesn’t drive you.

Loss is a really good friend.

Posted in Uncategorized | 15 Comments »

I’m not obligated to love you.

Posted by xsplat on July 14, 2014

I’ve fallen into the trap before of spending time with women out of obligation. Taking care of their emotional security needs out of obligation.

I don’t do that any more. Because I don’t have to.

An abundance mentality is only a catch22 if you are trying to feel and believe something that does not exist in order to have an effect. Step one then step two. Step one, maximize your position and have genuine options; have other girls and be able to develop a new pipeline. Step one might take decades of personal and business work and moving around the globe, or it might be a matter of a few small changes.

I don’t do mentalities. I don’t create and re-create narratives in my head in order to maximize my mood. I do reality. I create realities in order to maximize my position.

Men and women change their strategies according to their options. When you REALLY have options, it’s not about mentality. It’s about making choices.

And I don’t want to make the poor choices I used to, of being with women out of obligation to “the relationship”.

After a poor date with my N18 I found myself greatly irritated and snapped out these offline messages to her as she was walking back home:

Hi­

It seems you can’t get over the fact that I don’t want to live with you.

Ya, you should probably one way or another adjust.

Because I’m not going to love you more just because you want me to. I will only spend time with you if I WANT to.

Not because I lived with other girls in the past.

You don’t get to spend time with me because “now it’s your turn”.

I have to actually WANT to be with you. That’s all. That’s it. Finished and end of story.

If we aren’t spending more time with each other it’s because I don’t want to.

You can’t make me want to be with you more by crying or begging or making a fuss every time I leave your apartment or ask you to go home.

Frankly a LOT of the time you are a very annoying girl.

Really.

If you were less annoying I’d WANT to be with you more.

It’s pretty simple.

I’ve tried 1000 times over and over to correct your annoying behaviour, but you don’t learn fast or try hard.

I STILL have to repeat myself many times to say anything at all to you.

You STILL mumble all the time, and I can’t hear what you are saying. That’s really annoying.

Basically it’s impossible to talk to you at all.

And you don’t act like a faithful number one, but you still want all the privileges of one. As if I owed it to you.

The only way I’ll WANT to spend time with you, is if I enjoy it.

That’s IT. Not because YOU want it.

And a lot of the time, a really big percentage of the time, you are not enjoyable to be around.

Very negative.

Uncommunicative.

Always lying.

Bad temper.

Talking in a rude voice.

And just in so many ways really a very annoying human being.

If I ever loved some other girl more or treated some other girls differently you should ask yourself why.

And look to yourself.

And don’t just expect the same treatment for different behaviour.

50% of humans have a vagina.

Yours is not made of gold, and won’t automatically make me live with you.

You don’t even come at all.

Your blowjobs are great, but come on. You don’t even come.

And I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you let go into experiencing strong bliss.

So I think I give you plenty of time and attention, considering. And I”ve given you the best opportunity for a future I know how to give you.

If you are waiting to marry me then you should adjust your expectations.

It’s not going to happen.

I’ve been irritable all morning just thinking about the relationship.

I see the writings of many men who feel unlovable. On therationalmale an ugly commenter explains how ugly people have no hope with attractive women. It’s not only his personal experience, but he makes some sound arguments why it’s out of his control.

And N18 does the same bullshit about her personality. She says it’s out of her control and all the fault of her parents and circumstance.

Being loveable is a skill.

People with little experience of being loved want and perhaps even NEED to downplay that fact.

Being loveable is a skill.

Nobody deserves love. We are not newborn babies and I’m not some mothers nipple. We earn it, through our actions.

By adding value. By being happy and sharing happiness. By feeling content and sharing contentedness. By adding value in every possible way that our lover can appreciate.

You can’t ask someone to love you. You can’t expect someone to love you.

If he enjoys being around you and if you make him happy, the emotions will follow.

Guys have the same issue. People walk around with negativity as their default mode of being. They are not happy people. They are not finding girls who love them, because…

They are not loveable people!

Being loveable is a skill. It might take years to learn it. It might take enormous personal and business and location development. You don’t deserve it, and it IS under your control.

I’ve noticed before that when I spend a lot of time mulling angrily over some girls behaviour it’s mostly my fault. For not being with a better girl. And this morning I’m really irritated and cranky.

Obviously N18 isn’t all bad or I wouldn’t keep seeing her. But people get put into the place that they earned. Nobody gets to assume a monogamous relationship as the #1 girl, anymore than a mail clerk gets to assume he should be CEO.

Whatever love you are getting right now? That’s what you’ve earned. Don’t blame the bitches. Look in the mirror.

Posted in Uncategorized | 15 Comments »

Life is not a hedonic treadmill, it is a strategic war for fullfillment, happiness, bliss and contentment.

Posted by xsplat on July 9, 2014

the judge said: There are times when I feel nostalgic for a life I never lived but wanted to where I fell in love and had the high school love that frankly was impossible for my high school self and want to make the decision to attach myself to someone and affect that persons life for the sake of it but then I read testimonials like this.

This all seems..exhausting.

Risk/reward.

There are four basic categories of ways to increase happiness and avoid suffering

1) influence and change external situations
2) mind training
3) pharmaceuticals, supplements, diet and hormones
4) fitness

Within the category of mind training is a sub-category of philosophy, which includes internal narratives.

Your narrative seems to be that high reward is not worth high risk.

For the last several years I’ve been mostly pretty happy. Happy enough that it seemed noteworthy to me, and I’ve been trying to systematize how to create and maintain this happiness. For me a lot of this happiness involves relationships and sex and money. And chi-kung.

My narrative tells me that it’s not enough to just lower expectations and accept things as they are. That would be working solely on mind-training. That had not worked by itself for me – the external situations are hugely influential, no matter how much our philosophies tell us that they SHOULD not be.

Philosophy is useless in the dentist chair.

The external situations have huge effects.

I find that when things are well set up, I am learning and growing and enjoying and can not only be warm and content but have times of bliss and even extreme bliss.

But I can’t have that without risk.

The rewards that I’ve been personally experiencing are profoundly important to me.

I’m getting back on track to that bliss and wellbeing even now.

The down and difficult times are simply part of the process.

Buddhists have a conceptions of “samsara”, which is the fact that situations are interdependent and cause and effect is constantly causing flux and changes. Since happiness IS relative to external situations, happiness within “samsara” changes. The Buddhist “solution” to this is to try to detach from being affected by external situations through mind training.

It doesn’t work. Mind training is so helpful that I consider it essential to the good life, however as a philosophy of happiness it doesn’t work.

You need the externals. For me I need love in my life, to be at my best. That’s a fact.

Being happy is a strategic war. It’s not a series of battles, it’s a full out strategic war. You must plan, craft, put in the work, and win. Happiness is largely due to circumstance, and affecting circumstance is a life long strategic process.

As is mind and body training.

When people talk of the “hedonic treadmill”, mostly they are just making excuses for not wanting to try hard.

The concept of a hedonic treadmill is one of those dangerous partial truths. It’s just accurate enough to be dangerously wrong. The wider territory is that we can HUGELY affect our own happiness, and that happiness can grow and grow over time, with mind training and circumstance improvement. You can deliberately create and maintain not only an ongoing feeling of contentment, but even move into times of great happiness and bliss, and even extreme blisses.

That is not done on the couch thinking about “is it worth it?”

It’s done through Pavlovian training, one small step at a time. Giving yourself rewards and learning to feel and amplify those rewards for behaviors that you have chosen to use to win your war. Feel the happiness for the dollar earned. Feel the contentment for love you generate. Feel the pride for the music you make. And so on.

Rather than deaden these feelings so as to never feel loss, you feel them, and accept that samsara is the game. Use samsara. Use the fact of interdependent cause and effect to your advantage. Don’t detach from life. Evolution gave your fore-bearers attachments just so that you could have the opportunity to use them. Pleasure and suffering are foundational tools without which we could not win. Use your attachments as tools to win the war.

Life without love is losing at life.

To win any war you have to plan for the losses. You can’t avoid battles in order win. Heartbreak in life is a sign that you are out there fighting properly.

Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments »

Why I’m heartbroken for a girl I don’t like

Posted by xsplat on July 6, 2014

Assortative mating is a bitch, because emotions.

My dad keeps telling me that I should date smarter women. For the last few years I’ve had a young big tittied hottie underneath and riding on top. I feel both love and gratitude to be with such a hot girl – as if she’s several points above my pay grade. Her curves and face have an effect on people. A surfer dude at a club was instantly smitten, and clutched his chest in crestfallen heartbreak when he found out she was with me. Then he enthusiastically congratulated me. I had that girl locked down for years. She was crazy in love with me.

But she’s dumb.

Things took several turn and twists for the worse between us after I moved a tight teenager into an apartment and kept her as a 2nd. In our hot tempers we did everything we could to get what we wanted; she wanted monogamy and I wanted a 2nd. I screamed at her to please get out of my life and she threatened me.

But by now we had formed some deep pair bonds, and we couldn’t quit each other.

The mental maps for seduction and relationships that most red-pill guys have are vastly insufficient. So many guys keep spouting off about how “attraction” is about some R selected aloof bad boy game. Oh, man, people could not be more deficient in their conception of sexual selection. Attraction is ALSO composed of so much more; the mating game includes powerful pair bonds, and right from the start seduction can incorporate developing those bonds.

Creating and sustaining those bonds is quite a skill, and the strength of them is blown off by people. Why? Because they have no experience? Because when those bonds break it’s painful and girls turn on men with vicious cruelty and steal everything that we have?

I’ve had many periods of my life when I had extreme heartbreak. Recently I’ve been going through some bouts of bad pain, and I can’t even count the number of times in my long past where I sobbed uncontrollably. Sometimes right in front of the women I was in love with.

And I’ve had girls sob uncontrollably in front of me, more times than I’ll ever be able to remember.

Once upon a time I was in love with a genius 10. Six weeks after we met she flew away to meet her fiance, and at the airport we both sobbed uncontrollably. We both sobbed for days and weeks after that.

The bonds that people can create can be deep beyond any reason.

A lot of guys honestly believe that the-red-pill of game knowledge is about being free from putting oneself into such vulnerable positions. Heartbreak is for beta losers and women don’t get attracted to vulnerable men.

It’s not that most manosphere thinking is wrong, it’s that it is partial. A partially correct idea is the most dangerous. I would like to shine some light to show more territory.

If you can’t feel the pain of heartbreak, you can’t feel the joys of bonding, and if you can’t love you can’t be loved. In order to get an attractive girl to fall and remain fallen in love with you, you MUST be vulnerable. That’s how bonding works.

Now you can control it, to a degree. You play push pull and front and manipulate your image and never show too much underbelly. But it’s still choice-less that to be loved you have to love, and being vulnerable is an inseparable part of that process. Genuinely vulnerable to some uncontrollable serious pain.

I’ve had times lately when I take all drugs and alcohol I can get my hands on, just to get some relief from the pain. Tramadol. Ghb. Beer. My girl of nearly 4 years has been dating around and I can’t get her to stop. The thought crossed my mind while I was in N18 today and it made me limp. I stopped and walked out of the apartment.

And yet I don’t even like M25.

These bonds we can create surprise even ourselves.

And M25 and I still can’t quit each other. All the pain goes away and I feel good again when I’m with her. After fucking her I feel like the king of the world again. I appreciate my banana head N18 more. I can approach new girls with greater joy and confidence. I’m myself again; a full, rich man.

I’m even thinking of making that stupid girl pregnant.

Phew.

And yet I know I invest too much time with these girls. Therefore I’ve been building up an entire lifestyle that is meant to funnel smarter and higher status model quality girls into my life and the lives of my team members. My main man met a super bright highly sexual girl and it’s the perfect inspiration. That’s what I’ve had, that’s what I know is attainable, and that’s what I want. I love hearing them scream and moan for hours on end. Inspires me to go out and approach.

And I’ve been going out several days a week. At first I’d go out with N18 and she’d do all the talking. Then I’d run ahead and talk to girls alone. And lately I go out alone and hand out cards and explain about my modelling agency front-business to the best girls I can find.

It crossed my mind to call up 10 and invite her to get pregnant. I’m nearly 50 and it’s about time I got started on that next big project. Assortative mating is a bitch. We fall emotionally for what we think is the best we hope to get.

My Dad was a sucker for tits, ass, and a pretty face. My Mom was a hottie, and so was her sister, in their day. And my mom wasn’t too bright. Dad had three boys, and I was the only one that got his brains.

And I’m just like him. I’m the same sucker.

And just like him I’d prefer to get the hottie with the brains.

That’s an incredible challenge.

Posted in Uncategorized | 12 Comments »

Why Johnny Depp is charismatic

Posted by xsplat on June 30, 2014

It’s not his upper lip, with that huge cupids bow.

Straight males explain their orientation, but make an exception for Depp.

The Pareto Principle explicates that we can’t know what we don’t know. It’s above our pay grade to know certain state secrets. We are too ignorant and stupid to know what it is about each of Depps characters that is still so magnetizing and hypnotic.

Tonight I’m all dressed up. I’ve got my best shoes. The good pants. My body and my hormones are all lined up. I’ve stayed away from the banana head for a few day to up the sexual frustration.

But I’m still at home, looking in the mirror.

I think that’s the beginning of how Depp began his learning process.

A few years ago I took up the piano. I just left it to play; boys learn by play. Just play around, and the natural feedback mechanism will adjust the outcomes. I’ve learned a lot through play, and that continues every day. I get instant feedback. I can hear it.

The mirror.

The mirror tells me surprising things, as the piano. There is a surprising amount of influence over my own internal state, and it’s a surprise how even I’m influenced by the mirror. I change, I see, and then I change.

The fluidity and control, can be, through a feedback loop, increased.

Depp is a dazzling exmample of learned charisma. Genius, talent. And learning.

I’ve got some tapped and apparently plenty of untapped genius. Wiring can wire up. It’s a matter of using Pavlovs principles to movitave, and feedback.

I hit someone, years ago. I used the left hand in a cross jab to the chin, and the left followed up with more. It happened so fast.

My left eye connects to the part of my brain that gives me visions when I sleep. There is amazing magic there.

A stroke deprived my retinal neurons of oxygen long enough to cause temporary blindness, and the left eye never recovered. But the hemispheres connect well enough that my left eye can use the right. Have you heard of Mesmer? It’s remarkable what an eye can do. My left face is as amazing as my dreams.

I think people learn things. These talents, even the greatest talents. We can approach them.

I won’t rival Bach. I won’t rival Depp. But I can start to approach them.

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

How much does it cost to sponsor a SEA beauty?

Posted by xsplat on June 25, 2014

Jim Jones said: What does sponsorship cost in Indonesia where you live? I’ve heard it cost $1000 a month to maintain a good looking girl in Thailand now. I look at it like marriage but not being married.

The sexual bargain is haggled out individually. In my late thirties in Thailand I only paid for dinner and drinks for my multiple girlfriends. Now if I have a live in I also give a very small monthly allowance, on top of paying all expenses such as clothing, and I actually prefer to financially support, feed, and house other girls I’m dating.

An allowance is often an expectation, and a girl likes to brag about how much she is worth. I thought badly of the whole process and refused it for the longest time.

But every sexual bargain is that – girls make their subconscious calculations.

You know how they say that if you have oneitis you need to find and fuck 20 other girls? Because if we perceive options, our emotions will follow suit and we won’t be so bonded.

That is what emotions are for and what they do. They are the felt outputs of subconscious calculations.

If you are in important ways a girls best option, you’ll receive emotional outputs for that. I realize many will have a unique and incredible insight that money alone is a chumps game and won’t buy love, and to those geniuses I’ll point out that a propeller alone won’t make an airplane fly. Money is an important component of a sexual bargain – you don’t have to have it, but what you do have affects what you are and what you can offer. And therefore what you can receive, and from who.

The bonding emotions merely overlap with fling emotions; there are different valuable rewards for the different types of relationships. However those most skilled with LTRs should be able to mix up both and have high intensity kinky fun as well as lots of hugely addictive oxytocin and warm bonding with their bottom-bitch-love-slave. I suspect guys who are not in love and don’t miss it are simply unaware of what they are not missing.

Anything worthwhile will have different worths and costs. We can plan for genuine heartbreak and pain and stress and constant positioning, but a skilled relationship/life tactician will also be well rewarded in ways other men may not even have the reference points to imagine. Divorced men often assume they know all about the rewards and faults of LTRs. And divorced men will have learned much.

But relationships are like music. You don’t just learn music.

People say, “Oh, I swallowed the red pill, and now I know game”. Nobody did that. That’s like saying, “Oh, I studied music and now I know music.” Nobody knows music. Music is endless, within finity. What you can do with relationships is like music. Nobody just knows music – each composition can be quite different than another, and each will depend upon inward and outward circumstances.

A person can become a better musician. But a person can never know music. Just like game or LTR game. You never know it, and you are always learning it – and it’s always surprising and revealing.

So the salary depends on how valuable you are in other areas, as well as what you can afford. I paid less than $200/month to my M when living together. I pay various expenses for N18 now, including her apartment and anything else she needs.

I think people vastly over estimate the long term staying powers of what it is the young bring to the sexual bargain.

Strategically we must plan. And planning is for the future. And in all our futures we are old.

Old men need more money for their sexual bargains.

More money means more sexual bargaining power – and that translates to more testosterone, higher libido, more confidence, more options, and on and on. Money is a big part of a mans sexual currency in his old age.

I know younger guys will not only be unable to hear this, but will scoff. Scoff away. We all get old. Better to be old and rich. And well connected and powerful.

That’s a HUGE component of long term game.

And that’s what life is. A long term game.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Anger is not incontinence

Posted by xsplat on April 26, 2014

When you toilet train a puppy, you have to be cautious not to reprimand the act of defecation. If you do that he’ll consider the act shameful and hide if from you in offerings behind the couch and won’t want to shit in front of you when appropriate outside.

An ex has been a hanger on in my life since we split 6 years ago, and is often a useful ally. But she has intractable and stubborn flaws, that are not amenable to any form of persuasion or coercion, be it tender or violent. She is managing the 6 live in shop-house renovators, and refuses to stop being queen-bee and giving them unapproved projects. Today she went against direct orders to not varnish some cabinets on the exterior, as I prefer a beeswax/oil finish.

Anger is not incontinence. It is nothing to be ashamed of showing in front of others. I loudly reprimanded her, and I have a booming voice that easily fills all four floors, then loudly got her to assemble the full crew and translate to them to never do anything she says unless I’m there. To tell them that I’m the boss, not her. The high gloss varnish is currently being removed.

If you believe that anger is “losing your shit”, then you have been improperly trained. If you maintain this ignorant habit then day by day you are complicit in your own castration.

Conflict avoidance is a serious problem, for a great many men.

Sometimes one-on-one displays of anger won’t correct a problem and public shaming is the only next step.

Improper training of boys in the arts of conflict also leads to instincts that are misaligned with reality. Open anger does not lead to resentment or a fouling of group cohesion. It is the opposite – groups are maintained by effective leadership, and discipline is the dirty job of the leader. The disciplinarian job commands respect, and is given respect due.

We have a new girl here cooking and cleaning. A tight little 20 year old. So there are four girls who regularly cook for me now. I’ve been told that she openly mentioned that she’d date me if she spoke English, even though my ex is here all the time. My position here must be a big influence. My position here is not only about paying the salary. My job description is more than being the ideas man.

You can’t hold this position in this house and be “nice”. Being nice is not nice, because it is not effective.

Chogyam Trungpa once recounted a story to a large audience of how one of his main teachers used to convey anger that could dominate the entire monastery with an imposing ever present vibe. He did not imply this to be some sort of incontinence. He told that story as illustration of effective leadership.

This principle is true in all interpersonal situations. Your emotions are not diarrhoea, to be TONED THE FUCK DOWN. If you are an adult then your bowels are there to be properly and effectively used, without shame. You have them for a reason. Shitting is not losing control – you shit with accuracy and effectiveness.

Anyone who uses the term “losing your shit” when seeing emotional tone or open conflict has been improperly emotionally toilet trained.

Posted in Uncategorized | 16 Comments »

UCB’s insights into girl-speak and intimacy avoidance

Posted by xsplat on April 9, 2014

I was waiting for a reader to chime in with better advice than I was giving to the reader who has been stymied by girls afraid of intimacy with him, and UCB delivered:

Interesting parallel here: A few years ago I was going through almost the exact same thing… I stumbled upon X’s blog, and he became the first anonymous blogger I’ve ever written to with a question.

My experience mirrors Xsplat’s, but I wanted to add some other things for consideration:

One of the most important things you can take away from what X has written here is that you can’t necessarily trust what girls say. These girls are trying to articulate a certain emotion. This is something we all struggle with; even when we’ve experienced those emotions many times before. It’s exceedingly difficult to do when we’re experiencing something that’s new and uncomfortable to us, and what’s worse, it may be impossible for us to dig deep enough to root out the source of that emotion.

So you have to look at what these women are doing: and what they are doing is RESISTING you. Regardless of what they say, this is the only thing that matters. You have to figure out what’s causing that resistance and how to get around it.

Some possibilities:

- It could be that you are simply better than the girls you’re attempting to seduce. They may see you as being “out of their league” and afraid that they won’t be able to keep you around. The easiest ways of combatting this are disqualification (downplaying your positive qualities while elevating hers) and future-projecting (relating to her on qualities you find interesting in her and making future plans based around those qualities)

- It sounds like you could be leaning too far in emotionally before you’ve given a chance for the physical side of the relationship to catch up. You gotta remember that ‘girls just wanna have fun.” Girls don’t generally like being hooked too hard emotionally. They’re afraid of exposing parts of themselves they may not necessarily want exposed and/or losing control of the pace of the relationship. You can get away with this kind of stuff once you’re in a relationship, since that’s the way things are supposed to work according to the traditional relationship model. But many girls feel out of place being too emotionally invested in a guy they’re not having sex with. Tone down the serious emotional vibe and turn up the fun sexy vibe.

- You also have to ask yourself if there is some part of the relationship that YOU are resisting. For example, if you just want sex without the emotional connection or vice versa, girls will pick up on that. If you’re holding back emotionally in some way because of something you’re afraid of exposing to girls, they will pick up on it. Most of the more esoteric activities that seduction “gurus” prescribe (meditation, yoga, journaling, heavy lifting, etc.) are largely about identifying and overcoming this internal resistance.

- Finally, if you’re still in any way involved in the “seduction community” now would be a great time to get out. If you’re consistently getting these types of reactions from the women you interact with, you’re well past the point where 99% of what’s out there would be in any way helpful to you, and a good bit of it would be counter-productive. You’re approaching a sort of no-man’s land where you have to start trusting your intuition more and trying to figure out how to move things forward more quickly on your own. Trusting too heavily in PUA tactics and techniques actually takes you out of the present moment with these girls and creates more of the type of resistance you’re trying to avoid.

UCB brought up what sounds like “beware of habits that take you out of the flow moment”.

Writing also can be a flow moment for some, and I think that’s why for some people writing is not a choice, but a compulsion. Flow moments are puppy treats for the brain – they are rewards for doing it right, and we go back for more.

For me sex is always a flow moment. Music often. Dance often.

On the great BBC documentary “Child of our Times” they experiment with kids to see how many can easily get into flow moments in a set up involving music, and I think it was only something like 1 out of 7. So when I mention that a rant with a certain tone would not be written without that tone, it must be that most people will not share the experience of the flow moment of writing carrying it’s own way. Writing might be similar to letting out a musical piece. You improvise and work with it, but you are in it and FEELING it. You can’t take out the feeling and still be in it. The composition would simply stop. And the emotions in a written rant are there for a reason – some people are harming my impressionable brethren with horrible, sick twisted and evil advice. Emotion is the appropriate response. Emotion IS the response! We are socially conscious and involved people – it is not a flatland of “it’s all good live and let live”. We care about each other, and I care, and damn right emotion is part of the message and compels and drives and is co-created with the message.

Being with girls for me is often an endless stream of flow moments. And UCB is saying that this flow can be disrupted by getting out of the feeling, if I’m hearing him correctly.

I’d agree and would add further notes of caution. Many individuals and groups advocate what seems to me to be to completely lose touch with feelings altogether, and to “pump and dump the bitches”. Which would not lead to any flow moments that I prefer.

You can’t win at life without oxytocin and vagal tone. Buddhism is hugely about discovering and awakening the “precious heart of bodhicitta”, or increasing vagal tone and feeling that delicious well of wellbeing and sweet warmth in the heart. Interacting with women can be a great and practical catalyst to keeping that love in the heart happening and active, and life feeling like it is being well lived. It’s one reason people buy puppies. To increase the love. Because life without love is fail.

From Wikipedia:

Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does. Proposed by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, this positive psychology concept has been widely referenced across a variety of fields.[1]

According to Csikszentmihalyi, flow is completely focused motivation. It is a single-minded immersion and represents perhaps the ultimate experience in harnessing the emotions in the service of performing and learning.

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments »

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 135 other followers