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Random Xpat Rantings

Category Archives: Heartiste/Roissy

How shaking off the 3 Rs is the first step to becoming attractive enough to get your dick sucked routinely. Second step is to…

01 Monday Oct 2018

Posted by xsplat in Heartiste/Roissy, MGTOW, Relationship, Rollo Romassi, Roosh

≈ 1 Comment

The manosphere got off on the wrong foot with Roissy. Roissy taught core beliefs that confidence was the root of all attraction, and that dark triad traits were valuable to emulate.

It then stumbled drunkenly into a very dark alley with Roosh, who has serious Cluster A personality disorders.

Then Rollo came along, and hypnotized people with his pseudo-academic speak, and kept hammering over and over propaganda about alpha fucks and beta bucks until everyone just soaked in it and considered it to be true. Incredibly damaging poison.

All three have some insights into women and man-woman relationship dynamics; especially pre 2012 Roissy/Heartiste. However this has acted as fly bait, luring people into a dangerous trap, rather than feeding them.

The root of my personality and my best writing ever is in this post I made back in 2005: https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/readers-submissions/2005/12/face-guile-and-the-commerce-of-living/

It has at it’s root the Buddhist notion that all suffering stems from our unbridled immature human tendencies towards greed, aggression, and indifference. And that there are deeper more healthy and fulfilling ways to approach and deal with each other, that are based in open and awakened heart and unifying the mind in a cohesive honest whole.

We can be loved and give love.

We can. You can.

Stop listening to bullshit manosphere memes. Life is really pretty common sense. Love and be honest.


Below are comments that I made in the last post and elsewhere.  They are relevant and I believe you can piece the ideas together yourself well enough, saving me the effort of making a coherent blog post.


Blackdragon lives in the US and gives advice about maintaining open long term relationships, and has done so for many years. I don’t share his psychological makeup and so would and could not share some of his dating strategies (for instance I can get very jealous), however from my very long and detailed experience I will say that I judge his blog to be his real truth, and his system works exactly as he says, for him. That’s a stake in the heart of your argument right there.

There are countless millions of men in healthy loving long term relationships in the US.

There are pimps in the US.

There are differences between countries, and some basic human nature similarities.

If you want to change the subject to be about risk versus reward, then I’ll simply point out that every risk you mention can be mitigated.

And if it can’t, why the hell would you not simply MOVE?

Here is a quote about an MGTOW commentor that I found amusing:

You must be happy you live in the U.S. so you can blame alimony. Imagine if you lived in another nation, and had nothing to blame.

By the way, alimony is only an excuse not to get married. But you can’t even get a date, much less get laid. So nice try.

People can be, by nature and nurture, overly risk averse, and make this trait a habit that becomes an excuse to avoid personal development and confrontation.

Sometimes it’s better to risk losing everything, rather than live a shit life that isn’t even worth living at all. Because if things really do go sour after losing at a really bad risk:

There are things worse than death. And a timid life lived in fear of love is one of them.

————————————

But I really think it comes down to apples and oranges. The title of this blog post is:”If you respect Rollo Tomassi you have been brainwashed into accepting total loserdome for the rest of your life.” for a reason.

Because he is selling the cohesive world view of an apple, and to be happy and successful at life you need the cohesive world view of an orange.

He does not have the personal lived experience of becoming a highly charismatic man able to continually charm his woman to maintain her respect and devoted passionate lustly love, and his own authority and boundaries. *

It’s a very long arduous road to become such a man.

Only AFTER you are such a man, will you even be able to comprehend that the world could possibly be an orange.

But BEFORE you are such a man, you really really really NEED to KNOW that being an orange is a fucking option.

Rollo says it’s not even an option.

Which is why he is, without use of hyperbole and quite literally, an evil man causing tremendous social harm. Who attracts losers and sells loserdome for financial and social profit.

* (There are videos of Rollo online, and you can judge for yourself by his body language if you think he has lived a life working towards such masculine coherent charisma. I think his facial expressions are sometimes smarmy and effeminate and that he is not taking care of his physique. He does not strike me as a dominant sexy man who a woman would naturally give her best to, year after year. His body and facial language don’t give me the opinion that he values being such a man, or knows how to get from A to B, or even what B is.

I think this is a perfectly fair argument to make, because Rollo once posted a video of an Autralian teen named Cory Worthingon, and we were to judge by his body language and the coherent world view that it expressed (his attitude), using the “I know it when I see it” test, that he was an Alpha. He referenced the video and his argument many times.  He would tell us to watch Cory’s body language, as proof of his argument that “Alpha is not a demographic”.

He later went on to pull a sly and unspoken 180 degree turn and limit alphas to a class of physically attractive men that inspire lust on the spot, and claimed that if lust was not inspired on the spot that the man should look elsewhere on the spot.  An opinion that is a blatant tell of a keyboard jockey; no experienced charismatic man could possibly hold that viewpoint.)

————————————————————————————————–

Hi Jack.

I appreciate the careful thought that you have put into your questions.

Please read this and confirm and then I’ll take the time to respond in detail.

https://xsplat.wordpress.com/2015/08/04/100-of-my-comments/

It’s about some major disagreements I had with his philosophy in 2014. I stopped commenting after the exchange, and if you make it to the bottom of the post, you’ll see why.

————
Comment update:

I have a lot of ideas about your questions, however after years of internet discussions have long ago come to realize that very often people are completely fixed in their views, and only use what looks like rationality in order to either confirm their confirmation bias or dissimulate.

That’s why I asked you to put in a little bit of work to test your intellectual sincerity.

However for now I’ll just cut to the chase, and contrast the gist of all your questions, with the gist of my post about how to give and receive love
https://xsplat.wordpress.com/2018/09/14/how-to-give-and-receive-love-with-a-pretty-young-woman-habitually/

In order to give and receive love, you need to:

1) Believe that this is possible, attainable, and good, for you personally

I’ve also made many posts that uses the quick shorthand term of “losers” to categorize Rollos commentors and the very closely related MGTOW movement.

I’ll be happy to expand on the argument that those who refuse to give and receive love, and use all sorts of rationalizations and dissimuations to avoid it, are losers.

And I’ll be more than happy to explain in 100 ways why love is essential to basic human well being. And that it’s attainable, sustainable, healthy, noble, and far above risk in reward. And I’d be happy to go into great detail about what love is and can be.

If you are worth talking to. Most people are not.

We are all a product of our reference experiences. Your questions would lead me to believe that if I were to describe my life’s experiences that you would have no option but to discount and re-write them, and to explain them away in ways that make me completely deluded to believe that my personal experience actually happened and is happening.

————–
And I understand the sneering disdain that I not only don’t try to hide, but try to make as obvious as possible. I think it’s good and appropriate. I’ve seen myself get fat and unattractive. I’ve seen myself get drunk and treat people poorly. And I’ve seen myself diet and get fit and learn how to behave better. I’ve seen myself being completely unskilled at relationsips, and I’ve seen myself grow charming and fun and a respected authority in my relationships whom girls routinely sing loving love songs for – for year after year. I’ve seen myself suck at sex, and be great at it. I’ve seen myself lazy, and I’ve seen myself keep trying to get back on the horse.

I have every right to be disgusted by what is disgusting in myself, and to point it out when I see the same in others.

And what’s far far worse than mere personal laziness (everyone has the right to personal ruin and suicide, along with the ridicule that they should expect for following a path to ruin) is TEACHING others to give up. That they SHOULD give up, because relationships – the most noble of all possible endeavors – are low reward at best and more than likely dangerous.

When someone projects out his own inadequacies onto society as a whole, and then sets himself up as an authoritative teacher, that is, in a word, EVIL.


This is a comment that I think fits into the basket of “can’t we all just get along”. It’s a non-comment. A self-entardation meme-hammer.

Polemic is polemic is polemic. Why do you need to soften the edges? Make things all warm and fuzzy, and feel good and everyone gets a gold medal just for participating?

No, some things suck. Some things suck less. Some exact specific things that Rollo says are toxic, some exact attitudes that he has are toxic.

Don’t bring your photoshop smudge brush here and blur everything into a gigantic smear of “it’s all good, man”.

I used to sell wares on Grateful Dead tour, and the dreadlocked hippy wanna-bes tried their best to share a philosophy, that revolved around the saying “It’s all good”.

Fucking idiotic twats. When I could be assed about it, I’d confront them. No, it’s not all good. Fucking dimwit, non-confrontation is not a god damned philosophy!

Fucking hippies. It’s been studied that too much LSD makes people passive and afraid of confrontation. I keep losing the link, but I found the study on erowid.

I don’t suffer fools gladly, and people who think that confrontation is a meltdown have never witnessed a debate with a participant like Christopher Hitchens.

It’s NOT all good. No, we can’t just learn from everyone. People get sucked into entire world views, and YOU KNOW IT.

To get unsucked, you need to be vigorously shaken, sometimes. How hard is it to stop being Catholic, for instance? It’s all good? Just pick and choose the good that the good Pope says, and ignore the rest?

YOU KNOW very well that it doesn’t actually work like that at all.

World views are cohesive, and swallowed cohesively. People create authorities and swallow up everything they say, because they imbue no only specific ideas with validity, but the speaker of the ideas. YOU KNOW THAT.

Rollo’s food is laced with life sucking toxin, and so on the whole, his food is toxic. You can’t pick and choose from Rollo, practically. Because 99 percent of people who read him swallow all the intenesely life harming garbage – as a specific example the HIGHLY toxic meme that alpha fucks and beta bucks.

I’ll drop this here again:
http://patstedman.com/2017/11/22/what-is-upstream


And what’s more, if you want to understand what a book teaches, don’t just read the original text.

Ask readers of the book what it means. Then you’ll get the most important message – not what the book says, but what it is being read to say.

Anyone can paint a picture of a pear, but if everyone sees an apple, then the picture is of an apple.

Want to understand Rollo’s teachings? Examine his comment section. Compare his commenters with other slices of society.

They are for the most part MGTOW losers who have very little clue at how to date successfully, let alone how to maintain long term passionate relationships with attractive women. Which could be a fine starting place, yet nearly to a man they want that to be their ending place.

THAT is what Rollo teaches. The maintenance of class immobility. Alphas are alphas and betas are betas, so it’s not really your fault – it’s womens fault for wanting an alpha. And if you ever do become alpha, you’ll realistically have to pump and dump.

The passive agressive mind-fucker keeps pretending that he’s amoral and agnostic and just describing a real world.

No.

He’s creating a diorama. NOT describing a world. His world is a fucking cartoon with gigantic meter wide pixels and only 4 colors used in the pallate. It’s a diorama that barely resembles life at all. And it’s all due to his lack of real world experience in relationsihps, combined with what experience he has coming from an underdeveloped place, combined with his confirmation bias of only accepting input from betas and losers at the game of relationships.

His view is not agnostic in the least – it’s the view of a loser, to losers, who swallow it up thankfully, as it absolves them of any responsibility or hard work to change their own circumstances.


Days of Broken Arrows Said:

Terrific write-up. I agree with this and upon reading it realize why I never go to his blog anymore. In addition to what you wrote, his writing is also joyless and humorless. His worldview is that having a love life is a backbreaking slog that required work, work, work 24/7 — and you’ll probably still fail because hypergamy.*

Chelsea Dagger said:

I never thought much of Rollo’s writing to be honest. It is very dry and humorless and his followers do seem to be a bunch of angry guys. It reads like a chemistry textbook and is simply too tedious for me to get engaged by it. I think Roosh is just as humorless unfortunately. Whenever I read his blog, you can really see that he is a lost soul, just meandering along with no purpose. Neither of these guys are well adjusted, happy guys and their followers are much the same. Roosh’s forum these days in particular is really attracting some dregs between the white nationalists and the nihilistic hedonists who’s only purpose in life is scoring one night stands.

These joyless, miserable men are guys I quite frankly want nothing to do with.


 

I like how you made the theme of this blog post about lifestyle and positive habit maintenance-grind as being fundamental to good inner and outer game and logistics.

I’ve also let things fall apart a bit, and am trying to get things in order. So much constant maintanance required to be able to be optimal and ready to give and receive at opportune moments.

Gym and diet
Meditation and chi kung
perhaps Business

as the top three, usually.

Maybe also:
practicing music
keeping up with a tan
staying social
keeping a good home environment, which might include gardening, decorating, cleaning, maintaining audio and video equipment, furniture and bedding and kitchenware and toiletry

Doing what we do in the moment is of course always a product of what we’ve done in the past, and much of what we have to do falls into the category of maintenance.

It’s not like a video game, where you just need to be good while in set.

——————————————————————

There have ben some fun critiques over at Krauser’s lately of dodgy commercial PUA trainers.

It comes to mind that trainers that don’t mention the maintenance issues, and over-emphasize game, might have some of the common traits that Krauser laughs at, such as:

* outright lying about their stats
* paying for sex
* fucking ugly girls
* low to zero retention
* sexing drunken girls who are so easy to fuck as to be repellant to most men
* interested in the notch more than the quality of the girl, sex, experience, relationship, and her experiences of you, the sex, and future relationship; notch is the win – like a video game point.

Writers who use the term “well rounded” seem more authentic and trustworthy. It’s just like you say – a well rounded together life is embedded right in the exact present moment you bring. You can’t be actually attractive without being well rounded.

At least not to girls who aren’t crazed and dangerous human rent-a-bikes.


I feel that relationship game is barely discussed on the popular blogs that deal with seduction. I have a long habit of living with much younger women, and at 52 my current live in of 8 months is 21. We get along very well, and she treats me well.

I assume that just like day game, it’s a hard won skill that one continues to learn about and get better at. Of course it’s not just about set, or your internal framework, it’s also about setting, or the girl and her culture and your external setup. It’s still unusual and difficult to arrange big age differences with an attractive young woman who isn’t bonkers, but it’s much easier in some places, such as SEA.

And ya, people vary hugely, and while there may be trends, a lot of guys really aren’t built well for long term monogamy. And open relationships are possible but extremely challenging and volatile. The options for relationships are MUCH vaster than is generally discussed. The possibilities are MUCH bigger than is usually even hinted at.

I assume because it’s an overlapping, but still distinct and separate skill set. You can’t just transition out of day game into relationship game, as if it’s all the same thing.


Update: This is a low traffic blog, but sometimes gets a traffic boost if linked to by higher traffic sites, such as reddit.  If any reader finds the idea I’ve put forth that the meme of alpha fucks and beta bucks by definition could only be true from within the perspective of a “beta bucks” man,  and would always be false to a charismatic man and dangerously limiting to a man who wants to learn to internalize being seen by the woman he’s fucking as a dominant man, it would be helpful to your fellows to start a thread or comment that includes links to these recent posts.  I know that Rollo has snuck in as a cornerstone in peoples ideas of dealing with women, and this is actually a very serious sickness that needs serious discussion, in as many forums as possible.

Why irrational self confidence will fuck up your life

08 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by xsplat in Heartiste/Roissy, Relationship

≈ 39 Comments

irrational-self-confidenceThere is a pernicious meme that has taken hold like a dandelion. The meme is that irrational self confidence will aid your self interest.

It is pernicious because it is a short term solution that is in the long term detrimental.

I don’t want to look around me 15 years from now and see that my friends are all now crack addicted homeless bums. And so when I can I mention to people “Hey, it’s probably not a good idea to spend all your money on crack”.

And I don’t want to look around 15 years from now and see guys not getting their intimacy needs met.

And so I tell people, hey, it’s probably not a good idea to blind yourself to what women genuinely value in the competitive sexual marketplace. Work now to build real value – don’t just assume that you already have it.

Everything does not boil down to confidence. While you can hypnotize yourself to believe that you deserve more than you really do, this is in the long term not in your best interest.

The way self hypnosis, and irrational self confidence works, is this; your brain excludes all information that does not agree with the self hypnotic suggestion.

“I don’t need a big dick to sexually compete. I’m great just the way I am.”
“I don’t need big muscles to compete, I’m great just the way I am.”
“I don’t need to be a great lover in bed, I’m great just the way I am.”
“I don’t need to make more money than the next guy, I’m great just the way I am.”
“I don’t need to get my own apartment and furnish it tastefully, I’m great just the way I am.”
“I don’t need to get an impressive car, I’m great just the way I am.”
“I don’t need to to dress well, I’m great just the way I am.”
“I don’t need to be a successful entrepreneur, I’m great just the way I am.”
“I don’t need to be tall, I’m great just the way I am.”

Irrational self confidence will leave you blind to what the competition is doing. You will literally be incapable of knowing what their relative strengths and disadvantages are. Because any such knowledge would harm your irrational self conception.

That is how the mind works.

You have two main options in life: self hypnosis, or meditation. You can either exclude parts of the brain from speaking to other parts, and therefore get magical self hypnotic powers, such as being able to make your hand numb, or forget the number six, or make the wall turn blue, or fall asleep on command, or you can unify your mind, and the wall will remain yellow and you will remain cognizant of the mosquito itch and you will be able to do math in your dreams.

The former will help you to screen for girls at the club who are down-to-fuck and get same night lays with them.

The latter option is what you need to get your intimacy needs met long term.

In my last two posts I made the readers aware that we have choiceless human psychological needs, and in order to be as satisfied in life as possible, you have to take these into account.

I don’t want to see people in the manosphere follow Heartiste and Roosh into becoming the next Mark Minters; blindsided by their own intimacy needs and structurally incapable of realizing them without huge compromise. For LTR success you need structural basics.

The dark triad traits will with absolute certainty fuck your life up.

You will not be able to experience empathetic joy. (Psychopathy.)

You will not be able to know realistic confidence and will exclude facts that threaten your esteem. (Narcissism.)

You will have boundary issues of not respecting others free will, and see others as nothing but a tool. (Machiavelianism.) Machiavelianism is related to the first two DT traits, in that it necessitates a lessening of empathetic joy, and is inconsiderate to opposing views.

If you want to lead a happy life, and not wind up a crack addict on the street, don’t choose the path of irrational self confidence.

Update from comments: In discussions where we share ideas and examine them, accuracy is important. A small conceptual mis-step of one degree can after many miles lead one far astray.

Irrational confidence necessarily means confidence that excludes data. It necessarily means deliberately ignoring reality. This type of thinking can not be applied only as required – it is a habit that will infect other habits, until you will be narcissistic in your world view – you will unconsciously avoid trains of thought that lead to a loss of esteem. You won’t be able to think clearly – even when you want to.

It is possible to have confidence without excluding reality. You can know your relative strengths and weaknesses, and know how much more attractive you would be if you were more confident, and you can put on some rational bluster and fake confidence. That does not exclude reality. That is rational confidence. You can rationally know how much your display of confidence in real life affects reality.

Reality respects us to the degree we respect it. Allegiance to truth wins out in the long game.

Update 2 from comments: Narcissists are charming, but can’t hold down relationships as sooner or later their bullshit is uncovered and they are revealed as shallow fakes. And when their masks are seen through they fly into a rage. There is even a name for that – it’s called “narcissistic rage”.

Narcissism is widely being deliberately taught as a seduction aid. Those advocating dark triad traits are damaged individuals causing social harm; they are harming the future happiness of our friends.

A narcissist will be incapable of thoughts that threaten to damage his self conception, and is capable of great evil. Narcissism is a horrendous and dangerous trait, and is not an aid to your life. It is something to root out from yourself at every possible opportunity.

A healthy ego and reality are good friends.

Update 3 from comments: Just to clarify I don’t think it’s problematic to seek and get validation, or to be proud of accomplishments.

I’m nit picking on one small detail. One little word. The word is “irrational”.

That one word can lead people astray. It can lead people to pushing into dim awareness or denying the non-confidence related attractive traits.

This will cause two long term problems:
1) People will neglect self improvement and so be unprepared for intimacy in older age.
2) People will develop poor mental habits, and give in to cognitive dissonance at every turn, choosing thoughts based on comfort, instead of truth.

These are serious issues. That stem from just one tiny little detail. That niggling little detail of one word. Irrational.

Seems trivial, but it’s not.

Update 4 from comments: Another point is that humor can be better than a blustery confidence. You can be honest about being ugly if you are funny. This is a type of humble/confidence that displays high social intelligence. It goes over well. You downplay your disadvantages, while being fully aware of them. You don’t have to deny them.

Whereas overconfidence can display low social intelligence, such as seen in the clueless dimwit pictured at the top of the post; the poster boy for being stupidly overconfident and how this damages how other people perceive his social intelligence and therefore mate-worthiness.

Update 5: Here is an example of RATIONAL self confidence.

When I go to a club, 99% of the time I’ll be the ugliest guy there. This has serious real world effects – it’s not a small thing. My girlfriends all considered me ugly (even the current curvy hottie live-in love-slave of three years who is 23 years younger than me) and many of them called me ugly to my face.

But here is what I do when I refer to my looks; I call myself handsome. INEVITABLY the girl will break out laughing. I keep a straight face. I can play it straight because it’s so absurd she knows I can’t possibly be serious.

The thing is to never show weaknesses as something that you dwell on or get depressed about, but still don’t deny them. Be socially intelligent, and respect her intelligence. Know that she’ll get turned on for hotter guys, know that she’d prefer a hotter face, if she could put it on your body. But also know that even with some big weaknesses you can develop compensatory strengths.

Confidence doesn’t have to be fake or about denying reality. You can have a pin point accurate rational mental map and still do well with women. In fact you can even get away with not being particularly confident-in-your-confidenty-confidence and still do very well – if you have compensatory traits that you are confident in, such as social intelligence and humor and sexual skills.

I’ve even heard it advocated to make fun of being nervous and shy during an initial meet, because that displays some social intelligence – you are acknowledging the awkwardness but are still willing to plow through it – you are willing to stay glued to the reality of the situation even when it’s uncomfortable, and acknowledge it, instead of pretending you are full of confidentiness, and doing that in itself forms a common bond between the two of you. “Yes, look at us, this is a bit uncomfortable, isn’t it – ha ha – we’re humans doing human things!”.

The honesty that clear thinking develops will help you in innumerable interpersonal ways. You’ll develop real, honest, interpersonal rapport. You’ll know and appreciate and understand her REAL thought processes. Honesty contains humor. Irrational confidence does not. Can not. Humor is built out of honesty.

People crave genuine connection. Genuine connection is built on understanding. If you deliberately try to not understand what the woman values, by being irrationally self confident and denying your weaknesses, you create a schism between you and the girl, between you and yourself. You take things so seriously that there is no room for laughter.

I mean, just look at the poster child up top. I chose that image to make the point emotionally. That guy is too stupid to laugh at himself. If he could laugh at his flaws, he’d be much more approachable, likable, and even sexy. He’s so wooden in his “confidence” that he parodies himself. Lighten up guy!

Flaws are part of what builds connection between people – it’s what we have in common. Being over confident is like not accepting your self with humor and humility, which will put off a vibe that you can’t really accept the girl either. It will just be a shallow dance where nothing touches – nobody makes any real connection or really touches anything – nobody is vulnerable at all.

Confidence is not the only trick in the bag, and if you over value it, you can harm your other tricks – harm your ability to think clearly, harm your sense of proportion, harm your sense of humor, harm your genuine empathy, harm your genuine connection to women, harm your chances at real human bonding.

Women have so many hooks in them. Not just one hook. There isn’t just a confidence hook. You can play a woman like a fiddle without ever once considering how confident or unconfident you are. You don’t have to ever even think about it.

I do best when I’m so captivated by the girl that I lose interest in myself entirely. Rather than try to boost self confidence, I become un-self-conscious. How confident I am has nothing to do with the equation. I just do what I do, and it’s all reality based. No augmented reality – just reality.

People like reality, if you like reality.

New term: rational-funny-humility-with-genuine-realistic-pride

Heartiste’s promotion of narcissism and sociopathy is toxic to life satisfaction

06 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by xsplat in Heartiste/Roissy

≈ 26 Comments

XXL Wrote: RE: How Does Heartiste Game Factor Into Pickup?

As for your question, to me it’s possible to look at it in two ways…

1. non neediness – not needing girls reactions to game them. in practice it means that flirting/leading/escalating itself makes you happy. whatever happens you maintain your good mood. when a girl hits you with some mega bomb shittest you’re not affected cause it just adds more to the vibe. it’s like her reaction is a ball [of emotion] coming at you that you can return to her ie you laugh it off or mock her or change the topic or exaggerate to amp it even more etc. it’s high status as fuck when you’re that centered. and a girl feels stripped off her whole girl power since you’re like a host of your own party just welcoming sharing spreading. that’s how game looks like when [for whatever reason] you’re already happy on your own and you just celebrate. you don’t need nothing from nobody just having a good time and that’s when you’re so attractive then.

2. indifference – think of it like the approach is like nobody is approaching nobody. two strangers meet. your nobody to her and she’s nobody to you. so indifference is given since there is no real reason to care too much about that random girl. now it’s fine to appreciate/dismiss something about her you see/hear but she’s still nobody to you. so the vibe is you’re interested yet skeptic. even though you’re the one making effort to meet each other your frame immediately force her to prove herself to you. you question her as much as you praise her. in short, curiosity.

those are principles, not abc methods. which means you can be high energy/low energy or aloof/engaging or friendly/intense. whatever fits you best. the common denominator those two is BEING CAREFREE. you’re carefree cause you don’t need a girl. you’re carefree cause you’re indifferent toward random girl.

at least that’s how i understand it

I like your broad understanding of internal satisfaction as a principle of seduction, however that is not how heartiste conceptualizes or teaches his ideas.

He is very specific and adament about confidence itself being the root of all attraction, that all attributes boil down to and can be replaced by confidence, and that the dictionary definition of being aloof is a core principle of attraction. The dangers in his engaging prose are that he downplays building up anything other than narcissistic charisma and he has little place in his scheme of things for non-charismatic hypergamous value, plus he discounts non-narcissistic masculine development, plus he subtly encourages anhedonia.

He shows no grasp of using bonding emotions to enslave a girl, and shows no signs of having such emotions to be able to use.

Although he is a founding father with vast insights, in many ways his water of life is toxic.

**********
a·loof
/əˈlo͞of/
Adjective

Not friendly or forthcoming; cool and distant.
Conspicuously uninvolved and uninterested, typically through distaste.

Synonyms
remote – distant
**********

Heartiste imagines that sociopathic anhedonia, or emotional color blindness, is not a deficit of ability but a freedom from disability.

In that he is deliberately ignorant and leading people astray. It is not subtle the damage he is causing.

It may be true that some people have some flavors of dark triad combinations that are relatively fixed, and for whom movement away into other ways of viewing life are unlikely.

However I think most of us are more fluid and have personalities that are more trainable.

Roissy’s entire world is explained within a dard triad framework. This framework is not as happy and content as other frameworks. Therefore if maximizing life satisfaction is peoples general aim, then most people will be harmed in their general life aim by following into and being captivated by the gravity of Roissy’s frame.

Low affect=low quality life

06 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by xsplat in Heartiste/Roissy, Relationship, Roosh, Uncategorized

≈ 14 Comments

anhedoniaThere is a pivotal thread in the manosphere today, on the RVforum here. I recommend reading the whole thread.

The OP little wing writes:

I don’t have any feelings

Hey guys, I thought I’d share a bit of my current situation and maybe someone who has been through the same can help me.

The problem is, I don’t feel any emotions.
I’m depressed quite often and very apathetic.
I tried changing all the stuff in my life that I can change but it doesn’t make me feel better. The things that make me feel down are the few things I cannot change, however much I want to.

Life feels meaningless. I feel tired, sort of thin, like butter scraped over too much bread. Life is trivial, nothing seems to give me pleasure anymore.

Ever since I was a kid I never felt any great attachment to anything. I remember when my grandpa died when I was 7 and I didn’t feel sad or guilty or any other emotions that people would experience. I knew how other people felt and tried to emulate it but I never truly experienced those by myself. Everybody was crying during the funeral and I just stood there not knowing what to do. During football I never got passionate about the game, I just went through the motions, when my team won big games I didn’t truly feel happy, when we lost heartbreakers I just felt well nothing. Same with golf, playing well and winning tournaments didn’t make me happy either. I don’t feel happy when I’m around friends or bang hot girls. I don’t feel amazed by the amazing environment around me. I only see what everyone around me feels and say “well in that situation I should feel this so I pretended to feel that”. I feel like I am watching my life. It’s right there. And I keep scratching at it, trying to get into it and I just can’t.

The whole human experience is about feeling emotions and learning them and mastering them. Right now I’m feeling like I don’t belong here, like my life is pointless if I don’t feel anything.

From an objective point of view, I’ve got everything in life going for me.
I excel academically, have many friends, I’m good with people and girls, I am good looking and by having a good education I am better off than probably 70% of the rest of the world. But I just can’t seem to value these things, it’s difficult to value things you didn’t have to do without at some point in your life.

I watch all these other people. Classmates, friends, strangers. How they are happy about all those little things. How they take pictures of their food and post it on Instagram to get some likes.

How they post stupid self pics on Facebook, gossiping about other people, talking about the newest clothes they bought. All that stuff doesn’t interest me.

There’s a quote from Dexter which pretty much sums up how I feel and it goes like this:”People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well, that’s my burden, I guess”

One of the more interesting responses is from MikeCF:

The solution for me, anyway, has been to help as many people as possible.

Even good friends will tell you that I’m notorious for not returning texts, emails, and calls. It’s very easy to get disconnected or disassociated from others.

So I’ve now been answering texts (you’d be surprised how many guys reach out to me), helping people, responding with more than, “That’s great.”

It’s helping.

Improving your connection with other people can help boost brain serotonin, which creates a virtuous circle. That is, the more you help others, the more serotonin you get, and thus the more *natural* it becomes to feel happy and connected to your world.

Give it a try. Every day for a month, do something to help others. It could be something like making a small donation to charity, helping an old lady with her groceries, or paying a stranger a sincere compliment.

It may be hard for you at first. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. After a while, being connected will become natural and your feelings of happiness will increase.

Sounds like an excellent component to life-hacking, which I believe is the greater manosphere aim.

It’s been my general impression that the manosphere has a dark side that deliberately aims for the disease of low affect.

Here we have people finally opening up and talking about low affect as a problem to be dealt with.

For the most part though, what we see is the opposite. Feelings are to be deliberately muted.

So this is why I again and again remind people that it is efficatious to game girls with HIGH affect. Not only that, but it is the wise life choice.

Being an anhedonic drone is poor life hacking. Who wants that plus player burnout?

Deliberately seeking out bonding, affection, warm feelings – that is life hacking, and it is strong LTR game that ensnares women at the deepest level.

Low affect is for chumps. Yes, I said it. I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it.

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