I had a great day at the beach today.

I just lay there, enjoying a fantastic parade of eye candy, with a 22 year old hottie who loves me curled up against me, holding my stiff dick.

Krauser blew off Bali too casually. Today was an incredible day for tourist girls on the beach.

I was content, and immersed.

And it hit me hard what a gigantic juxtaposition this was from being out with V.

The last time I was out on the beach with V, she got hugely insecure about my wandering eyes, questioned me repeatedly and in detail about them, and I was forced into a long tirade about how a man is a man and of course I want to fuck other girls, and she would not even be into me if I didn’t. And that not only do I like looking at the fuckable, but get pleasure from looking at children. Couples. People I want to fuck, and people I don’t. People.

Every question she posed was merely a probe to confirm her suspicions, no answer I gave was the “correct” one. What a fucked up day that was – one written into the books as “do not repeat”.

I never once took her out again after that. Must have been at least 4 months ago. And I never told her why I didn’t take her out. I’d send her pictures of me at the beach alone, and she’d get so jealous that I’d go there by myself! I just knew if I took out in public again it would be a constant unspoken battle of wills, her trying to guilt trip me into keeping my gaze rigidly not looking at exactly what I wanted to look at.

Humans are social, and we become the Borg, even when we very consciously try our damnedest to retain our individuality.

Her expectations of me, her guilt tripping me into being “respectful” had an imprisoning effect on me that was unavoidable. Respectful=”Think of me, not yourself. YOU are being selfish for not following MY selfish orders to think of my feelings first like I tell you to”.

It was a full day long sigh of relief to be free of that that constant mind-fuck guilt trip that somehow had managed to infect me like an STD that snuck past the condom. To be ME again!

So many beautiful girls to look at. What a delightful day. And such a hottie little girl right beside me – easily a match for just about any girl on the beach.

I once dated an 8 teenager beauty queen who threw this shit-test at me over Whatsapp one day “And since you are so into my hotness, it would mean that you wouldn’t want to fuck around”.

She was 17, but like many super hot girls had insights into the sexual marketplace that guys in their mid forties are only just cluing into. She knew her statement was pure bullshit. It was a shit test – a compliance test. A test to see if I’d say “Myes Dear!”. To see how weak willed I was against the immense Borgifying power of her hotness.

I’ve laughed out loud right in girls faces before when they said the same to me. How absurd! Hahaha! No matter how super hot the girl is, no matter how many times you’ve had universe destroying sex, no matter how in love and bonded, of COURSE fucking other girls would ALSO be great!

Perfect decompression from all that noise today. A hot girl, holding my dick, my eyes enjoying other hot girls, warmth and contentment and love oozing out of me and into the receptive girl whose presence kept me hard all day. Beautiful weather, lovely day. All was right with the world.

And I healed myself from being Borgified.

My eyes took pleasure, naturally, as they SHOULD.

Any girl who gets freaked out by that should not be brought to the beach, plain and simple.

Not brought out in public at all, really. Who needs the guilt trip? It’s a mind fuck that erodes a man’s soul. Really – it is.