I’ve been doing ketamine as a crohn’s treatment, which is but one of many of it’s flavors of off label uses.

It is also useful to treat:
Post traumatic stress disorder
Severe depression (immediate results)
Neuropathic pain – which I think is a special type of pain where your nerves fuck up and send hurt signals when they may as well just calm down.
Opiate addiction

The day V broke up with me I told her that I’d most likely be fine because I was doing ketamine, and that should make it so that I can’t get depressed.

It’s about right.

I should have got my hands on some when Kiki died.

The trips it can give are weird enough that a guy could try to lay the blame on spritual experiences, however like Ibogaine, Ketamine cures Opiate addiction not through cognitive idea re-arrangment quite so much as through some sort of reset button.

Which begs a big question – what are our pre-sets? That would be cool if our presets were healthy. Ketamine seems to think so.

The dose before the one I’m coming off of now was two syringes – 2 ml = 100 mg. I had planned on injecting 150 mg, but after the 2nd syringe was not up to the task of coordinating a third injection. Good thing too – it was my 2nd 100 mg trip, but it took me a bit farther out, and it just got stupid weird – of course the world dissapeared into a hallucination, but the identity and all memories also hallucinated or wobbled away, so it was silly groundless.

I told myself that I was breathing, and most likely in a safe position, before things got even weirder and even those thoughts would have not fit into the new ketamine universe.

The dose I did 50 minutes ago was 3/4 of a syringe, so there was only a brief period where I could no longer play the piano, and the world stayed with me the whole time, as did my identity.

The larger doses I suppose could qualify as some kind of near death experience, which have been shown to cause long term positive personality changes, so there is probably also some pure psychological experiential benefit. But I’m still laying my money down on betting the drugs long term mental effects happen for physical rather than meme organizing reasons.

It’s not a euphoriant. Is that a word? It doesn’t make you feel warm and fuzzy and happy. The antidepressant effect is long term and immediate or stronger after a few more sessions, but the trip itself doesn’t provide a glow like beer or exstacy.

I’m not a fan of heartbreak – I just don’t use it as an excuse to avoid intimacy, because I think intimacy is the bread of life. I’m thinking K could be valuable to use to treat grief, along with it’s clinically proven usefulness to depression.

Blogging plus ketamine plus sex plus meeting new people plus the positive waves of previous positive waves of karma seem to sure have cut down the usual grieving process.

I don’t think I could recommend a heavy ketamine trip to anyone – it’s weird weird weird. But I suspect it’s a healthy and good for you thing to take, from time to time, especially for those who are out of whack.

My research has shown that it’s mostly safe. So for anyone depressed, benefits most likely would outwheigh negatives.

Treatments are usually from two to six times, and doses vary hugely – it’s studied a lot, but understudied still.

I’ve found ketamine to be a mild stimulant, and due to the total freakazoid places it takes you to, it’s best if buffered with an anti anxiety such as diazepam. Much much best. Most doctors agree.

I have found myself to me more mellow coming off of a trip. The comment I wrote realizing that I had been spinning reality into an Adams Family rerun and choosing a brighter more optimistic spin was directly after a 1 syringe dose (enough to make the bed dissapear for a short time)

I’m told the effects are not like other drugs – for depression, neuropathic pain, and others the effects can be long lasting. So maybe I’ll be more mellow yellow for a while. I’d call that good.