— Most marriages end in divorce
— Most married folks don’t have sex
— I like variety
— I’m not excited about watching my “hot girl” get old, and not so hot
— Most married people live boring, “married” lives
I had a mate who I was noticeably more happy with; it was a standout year of a quality never seen before or since. That was K, the now still dead girl who would orgasm spontaneously at the grocery store checkout line.
I had plans to give her a baby and a house that I would sometimes visit, after we were finished with our honeymoon period in a few years.
She understood when I explained to her that the main reason that I did not want to marry is because marriage kills passion. I didn’t spend a lot of time explaining the mechanics of how and why this happens, but just asked her to think of all the married people she’d ever met.
Girls WANT to believe that marriage can be passionate, but that simple mind exercise makes short work of the fantasy and replaces it with image after image of a gruesome, sad, boring reality. Marriages are not passionate.
I like passion.
People who prefer marriage can explain to me until I’m nauseous that passion is just a relationship phase. I don’t care about “growing up”. I care about passion.
I know lots of tricks to extend passion as long as possible. I’ve done it for well past the usual cut-off date of six months. With M we had a growing very strong passion for over 4 years, and then a few years of declining passion after that while we were apart and seeing others. At our peak, four years into it, it was 2-5 times a day orgasmic and multi orgasmic tantric sex passion. And just holding her hand in the taxi cab amplified and reminded me of the love that infused my life. She still laughed with puppy dog eyes at my jokes.
If we got married her body would have no reason to seduce me with that. She’d get lazy about keeping me. She’d be out of “aquisitive mode”, and be into complacency mode.
Marriage is a great idea; as a carrot. Even when I explain that I’ll never marry, most girls refuse to believe it, and so remain in acquisitive mode. I thank the concept of marriage for that.
I like playing house, and I like everything that could be good about marriage. And I often get all of it.
But it’s a sand-castle, and the surest way to call in the rising tide is to actually get married.