I am fifty years old, and apparently this means that I am from another culture.
Most men are aware that the social bonds and contracts of the past no longer apply. We talk a lot about hook up culture, divorce rates, serial monogamy, single motherhood, feminism, women who value their independence, and so on.
But we don’t talk much about how the corporate man has changed.
It used to be common for a job to last a lifetime. People were loyal to their companies, and the companies were loyal to them. That was a thing.
Long ago and in many cultures it was common to learn a trade during a long apprenticeship. Instead of borrowing money and paying tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars in University fees, a person became basically an indentured servant for a period of several years. Sometimes contracts were signed to that effect. The apprenticeship was done under a literal “master”. Not merely a master of his trade, but a master of his pupils.
Nowadays people think nothing of leaving one job for another. We think nothing of leaving one mate for another. We don’t bond to our locations, tribe, or family in the same way.
It used to be the case that in order to be taken seriously for high corporate positions you had to be married. I always thought that was old fashioned and silly, but now I’m starting to understand the logic.
The ability to bond and to have loyalty used to be seen as essential.
This is probably going to come off as weird, but I’m going to try to explain how I view myself, and what my world is to me. What my place in the world is.
In ancient times we lived in small tribes and one main elder was looked on as the leader.
I’ve created my life such that I am that leader. I run some small businesses, and have 18 employees, so modern life still supports that type of structure, but it’s much more than that.
It is impossible to overstate the importance in my life of bonding to people, and of having control over them. This gets most extreme with my girls. We get intensely intimate, and deeply in love. The sex can be extra-ordinarily ecstatic and also romantic. Me and my girls bond intensely, and maintain very strong emotional bonds.
On top of the romance I’m dominant and paternal. Not overbearing, but just a good Daddy. I give commands exactly like a good Daddy would to a good Daughter, and I expect them to be carried out. And they are carried out, with cheerful devotion.
My current number one girl symbolises that relationship by wearing a dog collar. She’ll also suck my cock in public on command, or fuck me wherever I tell her, be it in a restaurant toilet or a taxi.
Sooner or later with all girls I move the relationship towards one of dominant and submissive. Sometimes it might start with role play in bed, but eventually it turns into me taking control over her entire life. She belongs to me physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and in all possible ways I own her.
This is a gigantic part of my life, and has been for what feels like forever.
So I am accustomed to talking on the role of leader, with my girls, and with my business.
Nowadays that type of role is more and more looked on as out of date. Perhaps even wrong. People are less inclined to take that role of elder in charge seriously.
Children leave the nest and move off to college, switching between cities and jobs and girls and rarely considering a sense of place. We don’t belong to each other anymore. We don’t belong to a person anymore.
It has to sound odd in peoples ears when I put my finger on it so bluntly, but I see myself as someone to whom people belong. My girls belong to me. My employees belong to me, and I am responsible for them and for their families. I see myself as a tribal leader. It’s not just some imagination or ego trip thing, there are real psychological archetypes that we naturally fall into. It seems to be going out of fashion to have a close lifetime relationship with a real biological Daddy, but that archetype is innate to us, and it’s been argued that we all deeply need a Daddy.
My girls call me Daddy, and I am Daddy. That’s not an affectation. I am Daddy.
When a girl leaves me I physically hurt, especially in my heart. When guys leave me it’s often the same. I get deeply sad, and my heart physically hurts. People who belonged to me, who I was bonded with, who were a close part of my life and my actual self are ripped out from my being and gone. I become much less than I was before. I become amputated. It can hurt quite a lot. Physically.
I’m starting to wonder if I should associate with people who don’t value belonging. Many of the interns that came out here had never been in a serious love relationship with any girl. In the manosphere in general I suspect that many are constitutionally unable to bond with girls. The different styles of relationships have been studied as attachment styles.
It never occurred to me before that attachment styles could affect my business. But seeing how I view myself as a leader who bonds intimately with his charges, I’m going to have to pay more attention to that.