A guy sent me an introductory email about being interested in being an intern/business partner.

His email was well worded, and I’m proud to have noticed that his few paragraphs spoke of an off the chart level of language fluency.

I encouraged him to study persuasion and copywriting, and I gave him opportunities to profit share in my various businesses.

He flew out here, and spent several months learning what and how I do business.  I had no filters and let him learn trade secrets that can’t be taught in any University.

He could easily get girls but as a bonus my girlfriend gave him a cute one who shared his bed as often as he would allow..  On his whim I took him out to Bali to meet Jake of http://www.cedonulli.com.

Airfare for both of us and gym fees and apartment for him, for a few hours to meet Jake.  Jake disappeared the next day with no word to me.  He deigned a message to Mat that he was in Ubud before going total radio silence.

Jake by the way has impressive acumen, although frequent LSD use has left him believing that we fundamentally create our own reality.  And he was a dick to disappear and not answer messages.  Impressive weird dick.

As he had no background in copywriting or internet sales, Mat had to spend a lot of his time in study.

I would frequently ask for his output, but he would reply that he was shy to show me an unfinished product.

A few days ago I again asked for his output, and he reluctantly emailed me one page of good work.

Then he told me that he was leaving me to work for another company.

I did my best to find out his motivations.  He hid his cards and dissimulated.  He said that he wants to hang out with a crowd of younger guys.  He took an offhand remark about money I could easily retrieve as an opportunity to imply that he didn’t trust my financial decisions.  He said that he wanted to live in Bali.  He said that he wanted to save money.  I offered to double his expenses and to get a crowd of cool guys out here once again and to give him exorbitant profit sharing, but it was like talking to a deaf person.  I could not motivate him because he hid his motivations.  I tried my best to get inside his head so that I could persuade him but it took me three days to finally hit upon what was going on.  He wants to work part time for some established company and network with all the guys so that he can spend his free time starting his own businesses.

None of this 20% of what you earn for me nonsense.  He’s learned enough now to strike out on his own.

Ok.

So here it is, officially.

Fuck you all potential interns.  Go take a dildo and insert it up your very polite asses.

If you don’t already know how to copy-write, and can’t work on contract for output, then go ahead and fuck off.

I will never believe that you have any intention at reciprocation for traning.

Go ahead and pay your tuition at your insanely over priced schools.  Go ahead and prove yourself with previous work.  I’ll pay per contract.

If you have not already arrived, then don’t knock on this door.

Fuck off all people who need a leg up in life.