A few months ago I came to Bali. After V left to travel around Australia and New Zealand, I had no girls here, and so often went hunting. I drank a lot of beer and booze to lubricate the motions of hunting for new girls.
On coming back to Java, I kept up the habit of drinking. It was fun and made me feel good, most of the time. As I had not been drinking regularly for years, I had to re-learn the perils of drinking all over again. Don’t drink too much or the next day I’d be too low energy to be productive during work. If binge drinking, watch my mouth because I say things that can go against my interest.
By the time we came back to Bali, I’d been drinking not only every day, but during the day. I’d learned to keep just a moderate buzz, and wake up sober with no hangover. Mad men style drinking. The kind of drinking Churchill used to do.
If you don’t drink often, drinking a bit makes you feel warm and happy. If you drink all the time, you need a drink just to begin to feel normal.
This was mostly working fine – it was fun, and socially lubricating. The problem was I started saying silly things at times. My ability to concentrate and motivation to work suffered.
After a few issues of fucking things up socially, I decided it’s best to stop. The first day was a bit rough, and there were still strong cravings on the second. But thanks to other satisfactions, now on the third day I’m feeling mostly good again, even without my lover booze. I’m moving back into what I used to do to increase mood, and to feel warm and happy. I’m using romance with my girls, and chi-kung, and keeping focused on business for a long term positive future. All three work together. And at times again I get a pretty good buzz that way. I plan to put a bit more attention into meditation and chi-kung, for a while at least. Get all balanced and re-learn how to consciously create warmth and bliss, using my girls as amplifiers.
As I have had times in the past of drinking regularly too much, I’ll have to simply stop now. It was fun to spend a few months dipping into functional alcoholism. I did it just long enough to relearn why that’s not a good lifestyle.