I have some emergency money set aside, and never touch it, no matter how confident I am to quickly replace it if I were to dip into it temporarily.

But I’ve been investing heavily for years in some new businesses without a penny in return.  No matter how much time you think a project is going to take, multiply that by two, and then multiply it by two again, and then hire more and better staff, or you will have to keep multiplying.

Four months ago I hired an electrical engineer to join the team.  On paper he looked great, and came at bargain basement prices.  Oh, but it turned out we had to wait a month for him to arrange the move of his family.  Oh, and then another three weeks for finish up his semester as a professor.  And then he just showed up for two days and disappeared.

Two years ago I hired an excellent mechatronic graduate with the perfect Thesis; a machine that I wanted to hire him to build.  He lasted 3 weeks before deciding that my work environment was not fundamentalist enough.  Cody’s daily loud fucking didn’t help.

For two years I’ve had two barely qualified engineers puttering along slowly on some tasks they could never quite finish properly.

I’ve had staff and interns work for many months on R&Ds projects that were either abandoned as the staff person left or led to no product because of incompetence.

My overhead is many thousands of dollars per month.  I’ve spent enough on my businesses over these last five years to fund a modest retirement, but after all the false starts and delays have only incomplete prototypes to show for it.

I’m talking only about one business concern; I have others that continue to do well and one new one that has made a decent modest start.  And the bungalows are under construction.

But overall I’m treading water, and that feels desperately dangerous.  My diversified businesses should always be enough to live on, but that’s not how I think.  That’s not how I can think anymore.  For me it’s adapt and grow or die.  Staying still to live a modest lifestyle would be a kind of daily death.

So I’ve been doubling down.  In desparation to diversify, I recruited interns to help start new ventures.  I’ve had 5 main guys out here, two shorter term guys, and three visitors.  One of these in one year created a business, under my direction, that has paid for the expenses of all the others, and continues to earn profit.  The rest did not add to the bottom line.

Interns were a great life enhancement; male camaraderie focused around a common goal is a blast.  But I don’t yet have the managerial skills to be able to properly lead a herd of cats.  Delegating work too often led to work not getting done.

So now I’m doubling down again.  No more delegating to managers means that I have to work twice as many hours and be 4 times as efficient with my time.  This is now more than 8 times as effective as delegating had been.  My fingers are in all the pies, my eyes over every shoulder.  I deal with difficult IT related stuff, tons of R&D in many industries, purchasing, recruitment, marketing, and more.  Daily I am the hub and without me there would be even less than the near nothing that there is now.

I just had to prepay a years worth of rent on a 30 meter long four story office building, and it was a stretch.  Then I sent 10k to china for raw materials and machine parts.  Then of course many thousands to restock inventory on another business.  But that’s not the doubling down part.

I’ve found two new engineers, to join the qualified engineer that started doing good work 5 months ago.  So we now have three qualified engineers, plus a middling one.  I have one welder/assembly man working part time, and a 2nd full time guy will start soon. One web/it guy is kept busy, and is augmented by freelancers.  I’m setting up workspaces for three new sales and support staff to join my current three secretaries.

I have all new hires do IQ tests before the interview.  I’m not messing around.  I’ve also arranged to bribe teachers throughout all of Indonesia to bring me new recruits, because online job boards do not work to hire technicians in Indonesia, unless you are hiring out of Singapore or Japan at four to ten times the local salary.  Getting qualified programmers and engineers here is a near impossible challenge.  But I’m doing it, and will get better at it.  We’ll hire more engineers, programmers, marketers, machine operators, machinists, and more.

My estimates for business success have always been wildly wrong.  Although I’m relatively wealthy here, if you looked at the success rate you would see countless failures.  Failure after failure.

But I’m a lifelong entrepreneur and businessman so I have never once seen failure, as the word is normally used.  I have never once felt failure.  What I have seen is learning.  I know things you can’t learn in school, and I know them because I’ve done them.  Every failure is one step closer to success.

Looking around at what I have built here, 95% of people would take curtain number one and close up shop and bank the steady income.

I’m doubling down.

I need to earn over one million dollars in profit per year, within two years.  I know how to do this.  I know every step that I need to take, and I can take every step.

This is the year that I am a type A driven driven personality.

Being what is considered out here as super-rich and having my businesses lead to interaction with a steady stream of young model quality girls will open new worlds.  It will make available much smarter young women; no longer will I have to choose between brains with emotional maturity versus sex appeal.

I will have access to a new realm.