dt070721Lately I’m working about 12 productive hours a day on projects that I love.  I’ve hired a new mechanical engineer, and an experienced electrical engineer.  I’m still interviewing for another mechanical engineer, new marketing staff and replacement secretarial staff. My 3d modeler and his aid continue to do good work.

This is a major lifestyle transition for me, nearly on par with past major lifestyle changes such as joining a monastery or knocking a girl up and getting married.

Usually I work in spurts, with the biggest incentives coming when finances fall apart.  But when that happens my  mind is stressed and I can grasp around desperately for new fast money projects.  These are easy to come up with as opportunity is around endless corners, but working on new projects out of desperation doesn’t have the same follow through as working on projects out of love for the work.

But when I have security and wealth, time is best spent enjoying the biggest pleasures; sex, love, camaraderie, music, chi-kung, writing, and more sex.  Work is treated as a fun hobby that provides some challenge and daily continuity, but it isn’t my life.  Nor should it be.dontwork

But now I have chosen to make work my life. That’s not a choice I could have made before, even if I had wanted to.  Because you can’t chose what you want. You can’t choose to be motivated.

dt150807I have the perfect confluence of events that enable me to be precisely motivated; to want to do what I want to do.  I don’t have to tell myself to want something that I don’t want.  I don’t have to pump myself up with promises, or carefully dole out rewards of pats on the back and cookies for deeds that fit in with the master plan.  There are no internal wrinkles that I need to struggle to iron out.

dt030520Over the last three years I’ve had 8 interns working with me, plus three potential interns visiting.  Motivation was always the number one issue.  People were enthused about the projects.  They believed in them and wanted to contribute.  They were enthused about the team; we had great interpersonal chemistry – not just good, but great. Life was fun hanging out together and fun working together.  But the hours didn’t get put in, and the hours that were put in did not have a quality focus.

After Aaron left I had no choice but to double down.  Not only did I have to do my work, I also had to do his. I had to do more work better than the both of us had ever done.  I have a vision, god damn it, and it WILL happen.

And I am getting more good work done than I ever have.  And not just work that leads to money.  Work that I want to do; work that matters to me, work that I would pay money to be associated with.  Work that I am proud of.

My new work is as a team leader for over a dozen projects that I have come up with.  Team leader and inventor.  Inventing is actually quite easy, and I’ve already come up with some ideas that are totally obvious in hindsight, but at the same time revolutionary.

dt150804I’m elaborating on fundamental ideas that I had years ago.  I’ve wanted to do this for ages, and I’ve been trying to do this for ages. I’ve hired staff before for projects I’m taking up again.  But I took a more hands off approach.  I gave staff and interns the general ideas, and I expected them to handle the execution.  This gave me time to widen my business interests and have a lot of sex.

Now I’m in constant communication with each staff member, and manage small decisions for every step of every project.  It takes all my time and all my focus.

And I really like it.  It’s focused work, but it’s not something that I’m doing just to later earn money.  I don’t have to make myself want to want to do this.  I want to do this.

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I have expected interns to feel how I do now. To be fully invested. To not just get excited about the job, not just handle the details, but integrate their lives into the work. Be personally invested to the degree that they wake up and want to work, and to not even feel a need for off time. To embody the projects such that work was life was fun.

Cody was the only intern who had a high level of enthusiasm, however when I asked him how many hours per day he was working he self reported four. Over the course of a year he completed a good project that now continues to earn me money every month. His work paid for the all the interns whose work earned me nothing.

But he still only put in four hours a day. The competition usually isn’t so sluggish, and in the tech industry there is no such time luxury. You need to get the R and D and working prototype ready before someone else surpasses you. And then you’d better be ready to produce in quantities. And to market effectively. You can’t afford to come at such work as if it’s a hobby. And even if it is a hobby, if you want to finance more projects, you need to make that hobby into a real business, and that means productivity and deadlines.

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As an entrepreneur and manager, I am not able to influence other peoples genetics, nor even can I influence enough of the environment to fully motivate. I can’t even influence my own environment enough to motivate myself.

What unrepeatable environmental situations have me motivated now?

1) I have only just barely enough financial security. It’s enough to invest in the new projects and pay rent, utilities and staff, but it could fall into pieces at any time.

2) I’m old and my continued future sex life with young hotties realistically depends on increasing my wealth, social access, and status.

3) I have tried every other option to make my visions come true. I’ve tried delegating. I’ve tried hiring managers who can follow my direction and delegate. I have tried to get people working with me as fellow entrepreneurs for a stake in our businesses. There is no solution to getting things done that does not involve micromanaging every little detail and injecting myself into every little process with each staff member.

4) I’ve discovered the perfect dose of the perfect work motivating chemical for my system. It is a chocolate polyphenol extract called theobromine. I bought five kilos of it and start the day off with a scoop mixed into my watered down fruit juice combo and slurp through another two or three mugs before hitting maximum dose. Gives just the right amount of work oriented buzz without going so far as to detract from focus. If I were not in work-lifestyle mode and had access I’d choose marijuana instead, which leads me to focus on sex, chi-kung, and piano.

And genetically:

5) I really enjoy making machines. I’m fascinated with man toys, and being involved in the process of inventing and improving upon man toys plays up to my greatest strength, which is to creatively piece together patterns and to discover new associations. I love the creative process, and am compelled to create. At first I thought writing was my only way to let out this creative urge. Then I discovered music. And now I’m discovering inventing.

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Aaron and I enjoyed each others company, but when he left to start up his own new project he left behind an unfinished project here. I had given a generous salary plus all expenses and loads of way too much free reign, and was left with nothing tangible for it. Our friendship was geared around business, and the business didn’t end well or overall meet my hopes and expectations. If I had it to do all over again I would re-create the same mistakes though. I had a lot of fun making them, and without them I would not be able to be as motivated as I am now.

You can’t create motivation. You can’t teach it. You can’t sell it. And you can’t buy it.

People who sell motivation are selling hope. Hope is a lottery ticket. Lottery tickets are only valuable in that they give temporary hope.

Men get rich selling hope. Then they point to their success as proof that they are actually selling the secrets to success. When everybody is selling each other hope that’s called Amway.

But feeling hopeful and inspired has nothing to do with motivation. Motivation is when there is no internal conflict between what you wish you wanted to do and what you actually want to do.