Truth can be twisted. When you spin a fact you get something worse than a lie; you get a partial truth used in the service of a wrong view.
And so it goes for the alpha fucks beta bucks meme. You take the truth that women who are not dating a successful high testosterone man seek out higher T men when they are ovulating, and then turn it into the notion that women have a black and white either or mating strategy and in the vast majority of situations compartmentalize their dualistic sexual strategies, to such a degree that any man who provides is automatically not a man who the woman desires.
Alpha men are said to get the real lust, while the overwhelmingly vast majority of any man who provides does not arouse lust. People have taken this idea further and further, creating a cartoonish charicature out of the complexities of sexual strategies. EITHER you are an R selected lover who goes in for brief flings who she takes anal from, OR you are a K selected provider for whom she gives the cuddles and doles out occasional tepid sex.
Anyone who has read much of my blog already knows my opinions on the matter. Money and power and status in a man can increase sexual lust in a woman. Some of the provider qualities can push alpha attraction triggers in the woman. And a women’s best sex is reserved for men who also arouse her emotionally in romantic ways. That’s just a tautology – great sex is even greater with love. Anyone with experience of both will enthusiastically agree.
But people think in black and white. Just because there is truth in the fact that women can lose attraction to their beta providers and then go on to treat them like shit, it does not follow that the fact of providing automatically means that the man could not also push all other attraction triggers.
What we get all over the manosphere is disaffected men who have not learned how to maintain attraction assuming that it’s the fault of women – that it’s their hypergamy and dual sexual strategies that are to blame. They talk about themselves and each other as if providers are all just betas, and really the women wanted alphas, and all relationships that include provision are built on “negotiated desire”. I see this especially in the comments section of Rollos blog, and to a degree in Rollos own writing, especially in the comments.
Rollo also has said that if the woman is not initially attracted to you, then you should not waste your time persuing her, instead you should take the time to find a new girl, who is actually into you.
My experience is that persistence in the face of rejection can actually CREATE desire.
Female desire, according to Meana, is activated when a woman feels overwhelmingly desired, not rationally considered. Female erotic literature, including all those shades of gray, is built on this fantasy. Sexual desire in this view does not work according to our expectations and social values. Desire seeks the path of desire, not the path of righteousness. It thrives not on social order but on its negation. This is one reason all religions and societies try to control, contain, limit and re-direct it.
My experience is also that lust can be created, over the long term. It is not just that taller men with symmetrical facial features and big muscles are the Alphas that most women really want, and that the rest are just betas who have to negotiate desire and are all fooling themselves and who protest too much whenever they point out the inane and wrong headed and self defeating and emasculating views of alpha-fux-beta-bux proponents.
Genuine lust can be cultivated in a woman.
From my last post:
S17 is a good example of how passion – true physical lusty passion – can be cultivated in a woman. How value is not always shown all at once, through height and looks. A girl can over time not only open up in love, but open up in lust, as she sees you as more and more valuable. Value can come in many forms, and what to a girl is a “high value man” that deserves every outward show of affection and care and attentive lust is a complicated calculation that continues to calculate over time, and over time that calculation feeds raw data to raw emotions.
In order to get the most out a woman, the man has to push all possible attraction triggers, and show value in all possible ways. Having financial hand is extremely valuable.
It is not either/or.
It is either/or/and.
And is a word that many people are simply constitutionally unable to grasp.
You can do BOTH at the same time, and you don’t have to be a flying purple unicorn to do it. You can love a woman, and put her in an apartment and pay her bills, and be dominant, and fuck the hell out of her, and get her best sex, and have her insanely in love with you to the point of constant obsession, and you can do that with more than one girl at a time.
The manosphere is allowing splinter groups to spin truth in order to provide comfort to guys who never learned how to maintain passion in long term relationships.
The new soma? “It’s not my fault for not being able create and maintain maximum passion. It’s her fault for being hypergamous.”