How to negotiate desire with a woman.
Posted by xsplat on July 28, 2014
Women process information differently, so a man can not be direct.
You can’t tell a woman “I need you to be supportive now so that I can be at my best to win over these clients.” Because her emotional processing will tell her that she has hand over you, and as soon as she has hand she loses primal motivation to suck up to you.
You have to make it seem like it was her idea.
You tell her the same message, but in the same way women communicate messages to each other.
You let her know that you are about to close a new business deal. Imply at first that you won’t have time for her while you do this. Let the room feel your vibe that you know that your improved status is going to put you into improved social situations.
Just as she’s feeling the dread that you are not going to need her anymore, cut her in. Assume her support, as if it’s an afterthought.
“You are going to have to pick him up at the airport.”
You’ve just communicated the exact same message, but in a way that moves emotions rhetorically.
Persuasion requires understanding the mind of the listener. It will change for every person you talk to. Sometimes you use the hard sell, sometimes you tersely tell the facts, some times you don’t sell at all, and all do is casually converse.
Women have different minds than men do, and so persuasion with women requires building years of interaction in order to build up useful theories of mind. You can’t just tell them what you want.
But it is a negotiation.
If you force a smile, you force an improved mood. If you put a woman into a red party dress and have her hold your elbow, you change her attitude towards you.
It IS a negotiation.
It’s just a set of rules that are not innately known to men.
Women operate at an initial relationship advantage, if they are hot. A hottie virgin can tool an old man, purely out of instinct. But once you learn the language, you get the advantage. Because you can apply male intellect to the game.
You have to negotiate your position such that she wants what you are selling, and thinks it’s in her best interest to buy it.
And limiting her options is also a very useful sales tactic. Tactics for that are broad, and very rarely discussed, outside of talking about social conservative rules of appropriate upright conduct. I think it’s more effective to realistically limit her options, not to pretend that some fantasy “society” exists that can limit them, if only you could inform “society” of how important it was to do so.
If you are a woman’s best option, her emotions will follow. That is a negotiation. I’m not talking about a narcissistic false front of appearance, and I’m not only talking about spinning facts into a believable slanted narrative. It’s every possible move you can make; going to the gym, conversation and sexual skills, constraining her flirting, push and pull, selling a real dream of giving her a financial future, keeping her addicted emotionally on every level you can, and whatever other tricks you have and can learn.
Sometimes you can even spell it out, and explain exactly what you are doing, and explain why other men don’t get her hot. Pulling back the curtain won’t stop the magic.
But it’s still a negotiation, and fundamentally you are in sales. You work on your product, your presentation, and your emotional connection to the buyer.
For women, that connection requires that she looks up to you, and that any neediness shown is doled out in careful calculated doses; just enough to assuage her need for security.