Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

A beta suck up explains to do as told and TONE IT DOWN

Posted by xsplat on April 7, 2014

On this post The private messages to Roosh that got me permabanned from RVF a nail that doesn’t want to stick out and be hammered down said:

Cobra said:If someone says tone it down, TONE it the FUCK DOWN. There’s probably another way to express yourself and get the same message out there.


And no, there isn’t.

Tone is not only part of the message, it’s part of the flow of what inspires creating the message in the first place. You can’t remove the tone and still have the message. As I already carefully explained.

And if someone says tone it down then tone it down? Uhh, WTF? That’s a really weird attitude.

Where did you learn to behave like such a good boy? Sounds like terrible training that you’ll want to unlearn.

But you won’t be able to unlearn it on the RVF. The RVF is a place for men to learn how to be attractive to women while being constrained against acting like the type of men who would be attractive to women.

And you have been misled or are not paying attention if you believe that the only issue was about tone. Look closer, and you’ll see people far more abrasive on that site. It’s about power and control and agreement and in-group clique versus all others who have to walk on eggshells and suck up to the in-group clique.

A man can not express himself as other than a beta suck up on that forum, which seems to agree perfectly well with your suck up tone it down when told attitude.

21 Responses to “A beta suck up explains to do as told and TONE IT DOWN”

  1. dave said

    What the fukk.

    What an ill-fitting name

    Such a fantastic creature the cobra is. Spitting venom into the eyes of animals much larger than it. Possessing a fantastic hood.

    The poster is unworthy of wielding it.

  2. B. McF. said

    What a special little snowflake you are. Much too special to interact productively with other men.

    Guys like you are just annoying, childish assholes. Everything’s aaalways about you, you, you. We get enough of that shit from dumb girls, we don’t need it from you.

    • xsplat said

      We? Who else are you speaking for? What a blatant tell you blurted out. We. Group mind much? Stand up and be a man and say I.

      Are you aware in the least of what you are talking about? Have you read any of my posts on the RVF?

      The posts that got me banned by moderation and got the post shut down by moderation so that the topic could no longer be discussed, as it was leaning away from the allowed viewpoints, also got me accolades and personal thank yous by the people who were involved in the discussion. And people from the forum also took the time to private message me and mention that the moderation was way out of hand and that they disagreed with it and found it problematic.

      I get “thank you for changing my life” responses to things I post all time. Is that productive enough for you?

      So, uh, was there something productive you wanted say, or were you just trying to be annoying and childish?

  3. icycalm said

    lol yeah. I was recently banned from Roosh’s blog too, after barely five or six posts. It’s a good resource for “love tourism”, and even has the occasional bright idea, but Roosh like all the PUAs is a gamma, and they will never be able to tolerate a real alpha or sigma in their vicinity if they can avoid it. And with the power of the internet they can!

  4. t said

    To a lot of authoritative personalities, things seem very black and white, but in reality they very rarely are.

    Yes, tone is an important part of the message, but equally important is the fact that the the tone needs to be receptive to the listener in order for the message to get across. Unfortunately, what you were trying to say got lost because of your tone. I was not involved, but Iremember your posts on RVF and the aftermath that you posted here.

    The word ‘tone’ may cause some confusion here. The problem was, the way you phrased your statements during the discussion was not just mildly aggressive, it was meant to instigate. Sending a series of PMs in that manner – even though they were phrased as questions – would result in a reaction, as they were meant to do.

    This is a problem when alpha personalities deal with one another as there is often ego involved.

    As for the forum, or the blogs, it would be naive to not try to develop the ability to filter through material when reading things on the internet, or anywhere else for that matter. Any place that evolves into a community will display a cliquish manner, and will respect senior members.

    While it is important to occasionally, separate oneself from such behaviour, it is also important to not allow such quabbles to overcome their thoughts and productivity.

    • xsplat said

      I disagree. Sometimes people don’t want to hear a message, regardless of tone.

      A harsh tone is sometimes MORE likely to break through than just another whispering suggestion.

      The great polemicists like Orwell or Christopher Hitchens did not hold back. And were extremely effective and persuasive communicators.

      And you are ignoring a point I’ve made several times. The writer who experiences a flow moment of writing is within a creative inspiration. Remove that flow of inspiration and the writing does not get written.

      Which would you prefer; an insightful but bitter message, or no message at all?

      And during the very conversation that you considered too abrasive, people involved, even those who I’d butted heads with, took the time to tell me that I had persuaded them and changed their views and thanked me for it.

      And that is factual proof that your view is slanted towards feel good nicey-nice at all costs wrong.

      And regarding cliques naturally forming, you neglect the un-natural effect of moderation. In real life authority gets questioned and there are constant battles. That’s what puppies do and that’s what men do. In real life battles are not moderated out of existence in order to maintain a power hierarchy.

      Very few people are fooled by over-moderation. We all know it’s a weak move. The strong move is to win by influence, not by enforcing agreement with the click of the ban button. What that leads to is a weak community, fenced in against any challenges that could keep them strong.

      The RVF is an enforced ideological monoculture, and the notion that it needs protecting is weak. If one wants a robust culture one must not mother it to the point of protecting it from the rough house of the real world. I’ll paraphrase what I see as Rollos attitude to moderation and why he does not moderate: if you are not willing to expose your ideas to fighting against other ideas then it betrays that your ideas are too weak to begin with and are protected out of self interest or ideology and it prevents an evolution of ideas. Ideas can not grow and become more robust under over moderation. And neither can a community.

      Over moderation without fail and absolutely is poisonous to the health of a community. There are parallels to this in a fractal myriad of aspects of life, including the economic free market.

      • t said

        I am not criticizing the way you present your message, although looking at my previous post, it may seem that way. I am trying to explain some of the consequences.

        Your messages were always meant for the people who are ready/willing to hear them. Tough love.

        Fair enough about them replying to you.

        Yes, over-moderation is detrimental, but there is no need to get immersed into a community to the point where it becomes an all-or-nothing situation. There were other similar incidents where people left after many valuable contributions, for related reasons.

        My answers seem nicey-nice and passive-aggressive, mainly because I am not overly invested in either side. I just feel it was unnecessary for it to have escalated to this point.

        Perhaps I just learned to take everything online with a grain of salt.

  5. MikeDF said

    What do you expect from RVF? The founder spent years in his fathers basement, his prize possessions a bicycle and blowup doll. How can a strong Arabic father be proud of a son that has to let his date ride on the handlebars? How many times did dad go to the basement to yell at Roosh for not moving out? Then he had a meltdown and ran to South America. Roosh is gun shy now and can’t take any controversy. Or yelling. He slumps in the corner and covers his ears. Stop picking on him, it is his blog. Go pick on someone your own size.

  6. schneider said

    What about your prediction that the forum will not work? I think you overestimate your position. You sound like a wanna be sect leader. I am no hater. I have a warning level there myself and I am against 90% of the psychopatic stuff there but as one put it don´t be invested in that amount. For what? Are you Jesus who wants to save souls? I don´t think it´s really your business imho. We should calm the fuck down and try to enjoy life without putting each other down. There is place for everyone. Roosh plaid open: he wants the guys to be beta on the forum. Why is it so difficult to understand. – Anyway keep it coming and show us that life als an older guy must not boring. Sorry for the rant. I was in the mood:). I have another question why did you not stay in RPs? Generally Indonesia is not seen as better, so what´s the deal? Peace.

    • xsplat said

      Don’t you see some irony is the rants that scream “CALM THE FUCK DOWN, GOD DAMN IT!

      Why can’t you do as I say and stop trying to make people behave differently?!!”

      I looked back on the forum 4 months after I predicted it would decline and considered that it had declined. https://xsplat.wordpress.com/2013/11/28/the-culture-of-over-moderated-forums/

      “don´t be invested in that amount. For what? Are you Jesus who wants to save souls? I don´t think it´s really your business imho.”

      Irony again. So it’s your business to tell me what is my business?

      “We should calm the fuck down and try to enjoy life without putting each other down. There is place for everyone.”

      No, we shouldn’t. And no, there isn’t. Is there a place for axe murdering ball bashing rapists in your bedroom tonight? Calm the fuck down and accept him! Is there room for people poisoning the lives of young impressionable men with horrendous advice that can and does fuck up peoples lives in a cultish forum that excludes any competing ideas? What does that even mean? Room. Make room for this: fuck him. Do you understand the concept of social concern? Live and let live is an extremely stupid idea when taken to an idiotic extreme, because nobody wants to live and let other people do harm. We care about each other, and that is a good thing. We should.

      “Roosh plaid open: he wants the guys to be beta on the forum. Why is it so difficult to understand.”

      I mentioned in a blog post that this is what he wants, and now you are telling me that it’s something that is difficult for me to understand. Hmm, I think the reading comprehension problem is your own.

      “I have another question why did you not stay in RPs? Generally Indonesia is not seen as better, so what´s the deal?”

      You mean the Philippines? It’s too noisy and smogy there.

      • schneider said

        Hi Xsplat thanks for the answer. But come on man. You didn´t write about declining you wrote: “I give it 6 months. Then we’ll see the RVF community collapse in the same fashion that the Roissy/Heartiste community did.” I don´t see any collapsing and if you are honest you don´t see it too. Don´t be so stubborn:)

        Come on my other comments were ment ironic:) As I said I was in the mood. Normally I don´t talk like this. And as you see there were contradictions but some statements were true. I meant it´s clear how roosh handels his forum one does not have cry about it but keep cool. Anyway it was more attention whoring from me I understand as from time to time we people can get emotional.

        I didn´t know that quality of life in Indonesia and PI differ that much. I am in the process of moving I will try PI. Let´s see.

        I find your openness and out of the box thinking quite interesting specially in the matter of dance. I myself am a dancing guy too which is not common in the expat or manosphere scene. Anyway keep up the good job.

        I remember you posting in the past at happier abroad. Maybe you can come by and say hello there:)


      • t said

        The 6 months may not have been serious, but if you look at it, there have been quite a few people, who contributed a lot of value, who voluntarily left for similar reasons to X, or had similar incidents where they purposefully escalated things in order to get banned. So there definitely is a decline.

        There is still a lot of good info on basic personal development, but you have to filter out the overall negativity. That place can make you extremely bitter, especially with regards to women, relationships, emotions, and general current state of affairs.

        Live and let live is just unrealistic optimism, but at the same time, there are much better things to do with one’s time, energy and mental capacity than to waste them on attacking some website that you do not agree with. This is particularly true if you are making big moves like getting into big projects; there really is no need to sweat the relatively small stuff. As I write this, even having this discussion seems lame, like its some celebrity gossip, except worse.

        Also, for better or worse, any publicity is good publicity – so these discussions can actually funnel more people towards that crowd and have the opposite effect of what you want to convey by writing it in the first place.

        It sucks because I think a lot of people come here to gain insights into LTR, state of mind, and business, as that is where your experience and wisdom shines in a way that you cannot find anywhere else.

      • xsplat said

        I think you could say that it has collapsed in the same way as the Heartiste comment section has. Both still remain active, but the quality has noticeably changed.

        My analogy made it clear that I was not talking about a complete loss of participation.

        The Heartiste comment section used to be worth visiting, and no longer is. The same could be said for the RVF.

      • t said

        Yes I definitely notice that about the heartiste comments. I used to read all the comments initially because there was amazing discussion there. Now I never bother with the comments, and occasionally visit to sift through headlines to see if there is anything interesting to read.

        I guess you could draw parallels, except there will likely still be value in the personal development aspect of the forum. How long it will continue remains to be seen.

  7. xsplat said

    The “why can’t we all just get along” Messiahs of Apathy attempt to impose the subtraction of social concern from others, just so that they can feel comfortable in a cushy non-confrontational environment. “Stop caring, and stop talking like you care! If you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything at all! Don’t you have something better to do than to express your confrontational views?”

    I’ve got news for the pastel pillow lovers; love is not all you need. Confrontation is built into the fabric of things. You may as well stop trying to bully other people into not being confrontational, because your attempts are clueless and ineffectual.

  8. schneider said

    I don´t think so I think it got even better. The “heawyweights” who left wanted to form a gang or something. Mik CF for example was angry because nobody helped him in him against guys in his internet marketing stuff. MiXX was also no loss. Other guys were political hot heads. I know myself sometimes ones loses his shit sometimes. But it doesn´t have to after all it´s just internet. Only the topic of prostitution is not given much room. Even MGTOW is discussed relatively easy. Even a MGTOW guy is highly repped there and given respect. Maybe you are the guy who wants to be right and you love to be emotional. For that there are forums why don´t you post there? For example as mentioned Happier Abroad though it lacks qualty sometimes….

    • xsplat said

      He he. I’ve heard this same basic sentiment any time a group is criticized. On the Thaivisa.com forum whenever anyone makes a general observation comparing Thai and Western cultures, INEVITABLY someone tries to shut down the conversation with “if you don’t like it then go home!”

      And if someone replies with “I already did go home”, then the reply will be “good! then shut up and go away!”

      Why are you offering me alternatives of where to post? If I don’t like it then shut up and do something else?

      Hehe. Nice try on the censorship. Actually, a transparent and ineffectual try.

    • Anon said

      Schneider, you can keep trying to defend Roosh but fact is the forum’s quality has declined significantly. Some of the posters like WestCoast, Hencredible, MikeCF have quit while the others have significantly decreased their posting frequency. I wouldn’t call that “no loss” LOL. If you think the forum’s still good, go back and read some of the threads started in 2012 and early 2013.

      It’s sad because RVF is still one-of-a-kind. It has no replacements. Naughty Nomad’s forum is overrun with trolls. As for Happier Abroad, I refuse to participate in a forum started by a completely delusional guy like Winston. I still remember reading that thread about his filipina girlfriend (that he got pregnant, later on) and describing her as ‘extremely beautiful’. She was barf-worthy, at best.

      Hopefully I can meet a few quality people from RVF before it goes completely in the shitter.

  9. schneider said

    Hah you don´t even see good intentions:) Why should I want you to be censored? That does not make any sense. You can keep your blog and post addtionally. I am saying this because I like reading from you and I think in a forum there could be some synergy effect. Though not necessarily.

    Don´t know how its on Thaivisa but at HA there is almost no censorship, almost no moderation. Ladislav, guy from HA, even hates Thai people that´s why he left for PI. No problem writing that stuff. Many like minded people there.

    Look once I wrote about you in HA, the guy Ladislav, you probably know him asked me to ask you how the visa situation is in Indonesia.

    Anyway hope things go well for you in Indonesia.

  10. Honestly Texan said

    I peeked at your post when you predicted that the forum would not have much time left, though there is still a decent amount of traffic there you do have a decline in many things.

    The forum itself slowly went to shit as soon as “Everything Else” started to gain more attention than the Game and Travel sections. You had a shift from guys who legitimately wanted to learn game and improve with women to guys that are now there express frustrations at society, women, and talk pointless politics. Some of the posters have gone down in quality too, I used to love stuff from Samseau until he turned into some self-hating Asian-White mixed race male (lets not talk about who he reminds us of) saying some idiotic political statements. Aliblahba had some good shit too but he had a meltdown and hasn’t been seen since.

    Now you mostly have guys like Cattle Rustler who tells the most hilarious fiction stories and talks about how he plans on starting a business by fucking milfs, Christian McQueen who claims to have screwed Lindsay Lohan, MikeCF who is a fucking pussy that said he would leave the forum to get some attention but came back anyways, and a bunch of other shit posters along with old regs that have gone to shit. Cobra has recently become active and talks so much about being indian and gaming white women, surprised he hasn’t been banned yet and then you have delusional brown guys like Deluge that love to convince themselves that white women are going crazy for a bunch of pakis.

    It has gone from a forum with good information about game to the male Jezebel, hardly anyone takes it seriously anymore and people just look at these guys as a bunch of politics obsessed internet trolls with shitty lives. You do have good posters like Kaotic, Lothario, and Spider (one of the best) who do legitimately get laid but the rest of the forum is amateur political pundits giving their commentary on society which comes from having miserable sex lives. Years back you could go on the forum and see some amazing threads on travel and game but now it is all about what some feminist is saying about them or what is going on in gender relations.

    I won’t be surprised if these guys turn on each other either, most hate each other but try not to make it public due to fear of being banned. Lots of people are growing tired of it and many more regulars are just going to leave now that it has turned into a cesspool of political commentary by sexually frustrated men. I will not be surprised if the next psycho madman comes from that forum.

  11. Gonzalez said

    Just got banned with less than 50 posts, reason: Bad Attitude. My tone was harsh as I was calling out two of Roosh’s most active posters on their lies. But while I got a permaban, they’re still posting with no issues. It’s comical that Roosh has no problem with liars on his forum as long as they know their place within his community. I was even warned via PM by someone who agreed with me that I shouldn’t rouse the powers that be there.

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