maslow

Lingerie said: The manosphere deals in the currency of primal motivations (a heady space); coincidentally, the very motivations most likely to get someone to click on “purchase.” One will find products vehemently defended, even when the logic of those defenses is sorely lacking, at best; sloppy, at worst. More than one venture has made a handsome living off manipulating and faux framing those emotions through their ad copy lies and string-along programming (upsells).

Anger is a core visceral emotion that is very useful for marketing (as is sex). Its invocation is difficult to argue against, but also very difficult to respect, for those in the know. If one is to expend one’s precious energy being angry, the key is to direct that energy into the proper channel that might produce constructive results in one’s own life. That requires the elbow grease of independent research. Females exist for your pleasure, not your anger. Oasis, and all that.

Heads up ball, gentlemen. Exercise discernment.

So you are implying that invoking the feelings of unhappiness in others and creating and coalescing an in-group based upon their unhappy anger is a good way to sell e-books?

In-group thinking is a trait of the human mind. Many of our thoughts are not rational, but chosen politically – we agree with our in group and those with social power around us.

That can also be dangerous. Fitting in to a power structure can be even more dangerous than stepping outside the box and doing a double take.

Yes, anger has been used as a way to rally a community and then coincidentally pump up interest in selling instructional ebooks on how to ignore and avoid fundamental human qualities, such as love and intimacy.

The most practical and concise piece of wisdom that I know is the serenity prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

I’ve read people online who disagree with this wisdom. Outright disagree with it.

People often want to piss and moan about things outside of their control. Complain about the weather of feminism, or complain about in-equal sexual distribution, or about those dammed crack dealing thug guitar players or about western women or whatever. And then gather in a circle of complain and call that community.

At least that’s part of what happens. There is also a lot of self growth and discovery and encouraging each other on towards expanding out into the world of possibilities.

But it’s tainted. It’s still often largely communities encouraging each other to expand out into a twisted and limited way to relate to women. A way completely out of touch with their own intimacy requirements.

It’s very often communities of broken men fostering brokenness and creating brokenness where there was none.

Dark triad traits to be emulated as a lifestyle CHOICE?! To become a more happy and fullfilled MAN?

A Dark triad man is not a complete man. Yes, if you are blind you’ll have enhanced hearing. Is that any reason to blind yourself? Yes, if you lean towards sociopathy you’ll free up some restrictions to effective manipulation. Is that any reason to become anhedonic?

A man loves.

Dark triad means you didn’t fix yourself yet. It means you are running on two out of eight cylinders. Nothing to brag about, or promote, or emulate. It is disastrous how communities have been shepherded towards a poisonous pessimism by harnessing their emotions of anger.

A large swath of the manosphere is a cult of anti-intimacy, composed of followers in want of direction who have been goaded on by authors with intimacy avoidance issues into believing that there is no Maslows hierarcy of needs and that all they have to do is pump and dump the bitches.

“Society is broken and is giving away pussy to the wrong men! I’ll show those bitches. I’ll pump and dump em. So there!”

Ya, how about doing the work that is orders of magnitude more difficult. Become a loving man that women love and enjoy life as a full human to the fullest of your capacity.

Another comment from Lingerie:

“Ya, how about doing the work that is orders of magnitude more difficult. Become a loving man that women love and enjoy life as a full human to the fullest of your capacity.”

This sounds reasonable, and healthy, though no writer of ad copy would ever allow it, because of this right here: “doing the work.” Just not as salable as “get laid today,” or “screw the bitches.” One approach sells, one doesn’t, and that’s the human condition. But I feel for men in the manosphere and hope to elevate the entire discussion above such base instincts—I’m fully aware that it will never happen, but I inject my part as a solitary vote toward something better for all men in the manosphere.

Here’s the manosphere proprietorship in a spectrum quip (though it’s thankfully changing), not the readership, but the proprietors: hate women pump and dump women. That is so fucked up on so many levels that it’s really beyond words. But I get it. I totally get it. A shit ton of males have been fucked over royally by the feminine imperative. An equally shit ton of males have never known what it feels like to be truly loved by a female. I understand the need for males from both ends of that spectrum to have a voice out there that can coherently represent their thoughts and feelings.

BUT, the proprietors who provide that service, in my humble opinion, should also be nudging those damaged souls toward a final solution that involves LOVE as a core component, rather than stringing them along via their visceral emotions. My definition of “love” is not a romantic or visceral emotion. It is a highly cultivated sense of one’s place in the universe. This cultivation is not being suggested by manosphere proprietors to the souls of their readership, who are aching for it.

Sell an ebook, I don’t give a shit. But don’t hold your audience in a place that is ultimately unhealthy for them in order to defend your ideological niche—stop the gaslighting. Offer them a way out, or refer them to others who will. But that’s not how business works, “lifetime value” and all that.

This is such a huge spiritual issue among the voluminous damaged and injured men in the world, that it’s time to place their spiritual healing above defending one’s frame or “being right” in every argument.

This goes to every single proprietor in the manosphere: Help your readers heal, and help move them along to the next hopefully healthy phase of their life. This should be your goal—to move them along. In every post that you make that correctly identifies the problem, offer your readers a suggestion or two of how to move past that problem, rather than building a community around your brand that merely perpetuates commiseration over said problem. I know that that absolutely runs counter to “business” principles, but fuck all, what kind of world do you want to live in?
And if you don’t know because you haven’t researched the deeper issues, then have the humility to say, “I don’t know, I haven’t researched the deeper issues. What do you guys think?”, rather than perpetually faux framing your dominance over your readership, as if they were females. Please. We see right through you.