Renfrew recently made a comment about seduction not being so much about what you do, but about who you are.
People often ask for clarification about interpersonal dynamics; how do women think, what do they think, what words and actions will produce what results.
That’s all important, but most of what you communicate is a vibe. The vibe is what you are, not what you do.
If your vibe is one of empathetic love and appreciation, you can afford to get a little bit rapey for short spurts, before you back off and let her persue you, at which point you can escalate past her boundaries again. The dance of push pull is intricate and takes some sensitivity – you DO push past her boundaries, however it’s in a dance of mutuality, and the OVERALL impression she gets is one of playful appreciation and respect.
Which brings us back to vibe. Being disconnected from each other happens in part because we are disconnected to ourselves. And vice versa. The more sensitive we are to our own body and feelings, the more we are attuned to those around us.
The joy of interpersonal communication is this dance. When we get good at the dance and are comfortable with it, people pick up on it, and this becomes a quiet unspoken charisma; people are attracted to being inside your vibe.
Strong passions come out in bursts of intense and frequent sex, and lesser passions come out in frequent touching and kissing, but generally around my girls in public, you might see me as nearly opaque – I barely give off any overt signals. I hardly do anything. I may even appear to the outsider as emotionally distant at times. And yet my women are affectionate to the point of obsession. My new one is constantly kissing me, and we are sexual in public frequently. We took photos in a studio today and she is beaming with happy devotion.
It’s because I genuinely love her. I’m even a bit in love with her. My vibe includes her. She is in my world. My silences include her being in me. I don’t feel any alienation or separation. When she holds my arm as we stroll, we aren’t two people playing a dating game, we are a genuine couple.
My vibe is such that I engender a feeling of safety with women from the very first date. In fact on 5 occasions they’ve moved in to live with me on the first date, and on several others moved in within the first few. They instantly fall into a feeling of trust. Because I’m very romantic. The romance dial is dialed way up, therefore I can dial up the rapey lust and assume an instant comraderie. Push pull is in perfect balance, and I’m finely attuned to the most subtle of body language.
I can read my girl like a book. I’ll often describe her body language to her and tell her what it is she is saying, especially when it contradicts her mouth, and she says no one could ever see through her and read her like that. For me it’s all obvious. I’m finely attuned to the most subtle nuances she puts off. I can literally feel emotions in her cervix. I know when she is fucking with moderate, medium, strong, or overpowering love.
Building comfort in a girl is about sensitivity. Appreciating every signal the girl is putting out, in a way in which you appreciate her.
If you can’t find any way in which you are CONNECTING, then you can’t get rapey. If you plugged into each other, then you feel each other. You are not separate. You are already melding. Then it’s a dance. Then it’s a flow moment. It isn’t two people wondering what to do or say next, it’s a flow moment; the two of you are sharing space. It’s not even two people any more.
To become a man who gives off an instant vibe of comfort, it requires being comfortable with yourself at all of the deepest possible levels you can. Meditation will help. Being heartbroken and remaining heartbroken will help. Being emotionally open and vulnerable and strong at the same time requires being emotionally open and vulnerable to begin with.
A perfect balance of aggressive strength and emotional vulnerability is instant attraction. Women will feel safe and under a magic spell of vodoo. You’ll hardly have to do or say anything. You will BE what she wants – genuinely. You will connect genuinely. You will love and appreciate and lust genuinely. You’ll share space in a way that feels exactly right to her, as if you are a custom made suede glove that fits her perfectly on the first try. You will fall into each other.
That is not what you do – that is who you are.
That takes wiring up all the various parts of the brain into a cohesive whole – a fine synchronization. It’s a life long project.
The comfort stage of seduction is not a stage. It’s who you are. The woman truly IS safe in your embrace. You do cherish her.
From that space you can get aggressive. You’ll be sensitive to each subtle nuance of feedback. You’ll understand what her personal boundaries are, and read the signals as you deliberately transgress them, and know to pull back to wait to read more signals. She’ll see your finesse and won’t get a playboy vibe from you. She will understand that your heart is a safe repository. She won’t feel as if she’s abused herself by giving herself over to you.
Many men don’t know what it feels like to be loved. Some know, but are less familiar with mutual love. But mutual love can be a natural matter of course. A progression to be expected. It can even happen routinely.
Every year I get older, but the girls keep getting younger. I used to date older women – max was 48. Then I started to date women hovering around thirty. Then the average age was 24. Then 21 became more common. A couple of nineteen year olds were thrown into the mix. My latest was 17 for the first three months of our affair. As my experience grows apparently so does a quiet unspoken charisma, and I notice that even beside young hot male competition, I get some strong body language signals of sexual trust.
Sexual trust comes from sensitivity plus strength, combined with years of experience of reading and responding to signals.
You just get it. You know the dance. And you genuinely feel genuine emotions. You are about 1/3rd as vulnerable as she is, and are prepared to lose your heart 1/3rd as much as you steal hers.
Balance of sensitivity and aggressive strength plus strong boundaries are only part of what develops sexual trust. Facility with manipulating the girls moods and emotions is also part of it. That also comes from who you are, even more than what you do. You can do it all in pantomime.
Your heart is the key to her panties and to her heart. Your heart and your dick should be as one. You should be able to feel her heart through the tip of your dick. And you should be able to make her very soul dance on the tip of your dick – through her cervix you should touch ALL of her. In all communication channels you should be prepared to touch her deeply. There is a literal melding, and she will feel it, and fall because of it. She’ll become weak in her real and metaphorical knees, and be beyond help or hope – she’ll be yours. And that’s a responsibility you must be prepared for and want and relish from the first eye-sex glance. Ownership of a hot woman is the ultimate pleasure.
I’ve read thousands of pages of relationship discussion by hundreds of authors and commentors, but I’ve yet to hear of anyone with experiences similar to mine. LTR game can be so refined that it becomes fast seduction. Your LTR game becomes love at first sight game. Girls fall right into your orbit and can not escape.