A few years ago I had some mini strokes that left me temporarily blind and bedridden with fatigue for a week. The left eye now has permanent retinal degradation and I can’t read out of it. It is therefore likely that some neurons inside my brain were also damaged.
So I am recovering from stroke brain damage. I can’t say how much the mini strokes affected my awareness and abilities, however I can say that during the peak of my career as a meditator I put vastly more mindfulness and awareness into each moment.
So my project now includes building up to and past the mental clarity I had at my peak. Is it possible? Well, I am taking rolipram, which causes neurogenesis, and aids in learning and even brain and nerve regeneration. And I’m trying to learn a great many interesting new things all the time, but am especially focusing on body awareness. This should cram more information into each moment and raise my screen refresh rate.
And I’ve decided to go ahead and occasionally let waves of great happiness, joy, and even bliss wash over me. That is now possible, and why not. It’s probably healthy. Sometimes I even maintain bliss states deliberately. For the last three nights I’ve danced a great-happiness dance to some tunes, and the 1st night Cody joined in. It was Fatboy Slims “Praise You”.
So as new experiences allow for new goals, I’m going to make a very extravagant goal. After all, why not. I’ve almost died several times in the last two years. Mortality is not vague to me. So why not go out with a firework finale? Yes, I’m going to try to experience and teach great happiness and bliss, and be wealthy and powerful and have 100 babies from the best mothers I can magnetise and provide extravagantly for them all.