Women speak an entirely different language than men. It takes being with women to learn it. Learning that language is part of what’s necessary to being attractive and inspiring to women. Theory is good, but the learning happens in practical application. Got to start somewhere – even if it means dating older women, crazy girls, or foreign farmers daughters.
For instance last night N told me that she would be travelling to Singapore for a few weeks with her Aunt, and mentioned that it’s good for me because I can have fun while she’s gone. I translated her woman speak for her. I told her that I don’t believe that she will go, that she would miss me too much, and that the only reason she was mentioning it at all was to test me to see if I cared. I told her that her insecurity was really annoying and to stop it.
Her test may seem subtle, but it was a transparent move to test how much I cared about her being out on her own travelling the world with her hot model (and likely promiscuous) Aunt. Girl speak. Indirect and manipulative. And it was an attempt to feign a level of indifference to being with me that she does not have. She dislikes being apart from me.
At first she denied her girl games. When I persisted and insisted that I know from experience what her girl-speak meant, she asked if all girls talk that way, and I told her no, only the psycho ones. Told her that it takes all the fun out of caring for her if she can’t even feel cared for. Told her that I’m going to get her a pendant so that she can hold onto it like a teddy-bear when she misses me or is feeling insecure. Told her that she needs to work on herself and grow up and stop being so negative. And to take some continuing education classes.
She then told me that she was not going to go and that she’s lucky to have me and could never find another guy like me.
I agreed and admonished her to therefore be careful.
She then said she’d take the classes and asked me if I forgave her, and I told her that talk is cheap and that I’d forgive her after she took the classes.
Mostly women twist guys around their finger. They play guys like fiddles. It takes much practice and experience to be able to speak woman and to play them better than they play you. The knowledge comes the hard way.
Update: Riv’s post is relevant
Random Xpat Rantings 
I think Pook had compiled some common phrases used in woman-speak and gave some good observation about it. I don’t remember what he said exactly but it was mostly about how men use conversation to convey thoughts, while women use conversation to convey emotions.
Yes, and furthermore women are happy to undermine you disingenuously just in order to see what happens.
And I don’t just mean by shit testing. A common tactic is to try to make you jealous just to see if you make ownership claims.
wow, i love this post. seeing past the surface and seeing the deep insecurities lying beneath. great example of frame control. i am impressed.
I have taken calling it Girlish and Guylish. We are both using English words and grammar but speaking completely different languages. I like to think of it like this. If you want to understand what a guy is saying, listen to the words and ignore the spaces between them. If you want to understand what a girl is saying, listen to the spaces and ignore the words between them.
From your experience is the best way to respond – in the typical male way of speaking – by being direct as above?
Are there times when a woman like speak (slight riddle, buried meaning) is a good way to respond – maybe before there is any history or relationship – or I guess you could say that is playing into their frame by talking like they do?
Women tend to laugh at witty lines which aren’t too obvious and direct and take a little bit of piecing together – but not too much.
I used to work in a mixed office and if you made a witty comment that took a little bit of thought the women would all laugh but the guys (most were a little silly to start with) missed the joke – all the better when it was at the guy’s expense. The women were often caught between laughing and trying to say how mean I was at the same time
Ya, good point, there are many different styles of reply. Often I won’t reply at all.
In this case I felt as if she was trying to rile me and succeeding, and felt she needed a smack down. I was conscious at the time of questioning to myself if I should go a different route, and just remain happy and playful. But my emotions were genuinely being engaged; I was getting cranky and my dick got soft. I didn’t want to be an abused doormat and felt the need to put a stop to her trying to manipulate me.
The truth is it would be kind of cool if she left, it would open up some space to meet new girls. And I was happy with that idea. But I also was genuinely emotionally bonded and engaged with the chick and wanted to promote that romance, especially as it’s a means to keep her under my control. So the balance of emotion was telling me to lock her down and shut her down.
I think a lot of guys would err on the side of being permissive, ignoring their own emotional hooks, out of some internalized narrative that they are supposed to be immovable islands in total control. I queried my mind to see how aloof I genuinely was, and discovered that I was bothered, and so took this tack to stop her bothering me. Anything less would have set her up to up her tests of my boundaries. And I do have boundaries.
It would be interesting to categorize the various options.
Hey Xsplat,I’ve sent you that e-mail about business, did you get it? My mail often gets sent to spam folder, no idea why.
Great post. Last night it was so amazing my wife was beside me on the couch falling asleep and I said come over here and stroke my cock. Then I said suck on it and she did as instructed without hesitation. I love having control of her and how she responds. I kept saying I own your ass and she would say yes Daddy with my cock in her throat. She loves when I choke her with it and old her nose. So hot!