As a beginner the fastest route to not coming is placing your attention at the top of your head while you fuck. You’ll need tight concentration for this, so you might need to start or intensify a shamata mindfulness sitting practice. Placing your attention on your crown or above while you fuck has a likelyhood of opening up your spinal kundalini energy. That plus a few more instructions raises the likelyhood.
I should not have told you that.
If you did do that, we’ll give you a few years to calm down, then you can try one of the next methods.
If you practice chi-kung regularly you grow your embodied awareness. Yes, you become aware of more of your body at the same time, and your chi-kung practiced body includes phantom limbs that you have created, such that you feel energy around you, above and below you, as well as throughout channels in your body and in chakras.
So this method of not coming is by contextualizing the sex feelings. You’ll feel so much energy thrilling in your spine that the dick energy does not take your focus to control at all. You’ll be breathing from beneath your feet and feel a bottomless power that way. You’ll have your crown chakra open and be feeling bliss above your head. Your heart will be welling with love and passion. And your belly will be a broad warmth that reaches right into her and joins her, feeling every twitch grab and pulse of her pussy.
The third method is perhaps the most difficult. You can hold all the energy right in any chakra you want, and you’ll likely want the 2nd chakra. You can have it there as a hot coal of fire. Condensed and powerful, but yet you don’t have to come. Coming in all these cases would be a huge let down. This is a plateau far above any mere orgasm. You feel that intensity as a warm powerful heat that you are in full control over. It is your passion, embodied. From your mouth comes the grunt associated with it. A powerful low grunt. Not like the noises that come from the heart, throat, or forehead or crown chakras at all. An earthy passionate power.
Another advanced method is by placing your attention below your feet. Advanced means that it requires extensive training in both chi-kung and chi-kung sex. For me this ability came quite late in the process.
For all methods I find that the heart chakra must open first before the energy can really get flowing.
If I start to phantasize about cookie girl or am somehow not fucking HER, it makes it much harder not to come. The energies get constricted when you are not in a now flow moment.
This post was written after exhausting M, so partial credit goes to her for being responsive and inspirational. N will be seeing me later tonight, although I did visit her in the day. M is winning battles in the war of the vaginas.