I’ve been seeing this kid for a month now. Fucking her several times a day. She’s a banana brain with nothing interesting to say, and yet to me she’s fascinating.
Girls can fall right into the frame of mutual love, if you can hold that frame in a way you feel.
When I’m with N17 somtimes I just meditate on love and beauty. The shape of her hips, hands, or lips. Her O face. Lust is such a great emotion. Is meditating on beauty a lost art? I give myself over to it, and she thrills to my thrill, drinking in my attention.
My love for the kid is from a place of fullness, without a whiff of desparation or clinginess. It’s appreciation with all stops removed, and yet I could kick her out in a moment if she took a mis-step. She gets me so happy sometimes I’m full past the breaking point, every sensation a thrill.
And it’s not just her deep throat attempts that make me hard; she’ll admit sweet nothings. “I sometimes worry that other girls could make you happier, but I know no one could ever love you more than I do”. “You can tell me to do anything, you are the authority in my life”. “You can leave me if you want, but I will never leave you”. “I love you Daddy”. She constantly kisses me, and over and over calls me Daddy. We play in every taxi ride, and she’s already fucked me in the taxi once. Every sign of love and devotion she can, she offers.
She simultaneously makes me excited and deeply relaxed. I breathe in long draughts of life and exhale long sighs of relief. Her smell makes me drunk.
I’ve discovered that being with a girl isn’t just about pushing her buttons. It’s also about pushing your own. So I’m training this girl in all the ways that turn me on. Sometimes I tell her to say “I’m 17” when we fuck. Or “I’m your little bitch”. Or “I love you Daddy”. I get her to say those things as she approaches orgasm, and so in that state they become true to her, and make the tip of my dick expand like a balloon about to pop and my voice box scream out in pleasure. The intensity gets ramped up, and that’s what sexual connection is about; intensity. We get intense.
Meanwhile Live-in-24 has been trying every possible girl trick to get me to stop seeing my 2nd.
She’s threatened to track down and beat her. She’s threatened to make exhorbitant severance pay demands and make trouble with the police if I don’t pay up. She’s sulked. She’s played to my sense of duty and guilt.
Girls will try to keep you by trying to make you feel guilty or afraid. Or they’ll deliberately try to start a fight and make you angry. Or try to poison your atmosphere by negative influences on your friends and workers.
Live-in is a girl in love at war, and with those a man needs strong boundaries and countermeasures to her war tactics. Emotionally it helps to find any negative emotions inside your chi-field and relax them or pull or shake them out. It helps to let go into really fucking great sex and generate even stronger love in your chi-kung, and use that to strengthen your practice. In short it helps to be unstoppably happy; strong and rich inside and out. Her aim is to make you emotionally weak. Your countermeasure is to be happy and fulfilled.
Of course I tell her that I’m not going to stop and the only options she has is to either stay and leave, but if she’s going to stay I’m only going to spend time with her if she’s fun to be around, otherwise I’ll just stay in my 2nd apartment.
So now it’s a battle of the vaginas. Live in is giving me her sexual A game, and the sex has never been better. Live in comes more, and more deeply, and the sex has a depth to it. In some ways she is winning the battle of the vaginas.
But 17 is 17, and makes me so fucking incredibly HAPPY!
And I’ve found that this joy spills over. Playing the piano is so fun! Ping pong and boxing are so fun! The lifestyle itself got ramped up – not just a small corner of it. Oh, and my energy levels have soared. On a good day I might have sex 6 times, go to the gym, play ping pong, and have two hard sessions on the boxing bags. And several sessions on the piano, and several sessions of chi-kung, which take mental stamina.
It’s not true that old guys no longer feel the emotions we used to as teenagers. It’s just that we only feel those emotions FOR teenagers.