Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

Using money as mojo to enhance your pull

Posted by xsplat on March 5, 2013

As I’m getting older, I find that my tastes in women does not age. Every few years a new generation of hotties is jiggling in the clubs, and that’s the generation I target.

That doesn’t change, but my appearance does. My relative strengths shift around. I’m pushing late forties, my appearance is declining and my income is increasing. Because what I can offer that women want is changing, how I see women is changing. It no longer bothers me to pay for an apartment for a side piece. It no longer bothers me that girls look towards men with a calculating eye.

Yes, I realize that the rules are different for one night stands. That’s what a lot of guys are into, and so that’s how they see the entire dance between men and women. All about being the man that women want to have a one night stand with. The alpha as opposed to the provider. That’s a very distorted view that uses a prism to shatter light into component colors, until people can no long even cognize the idea of an alpha provider. It’s alpha cad or beta family man dad, or it’s a playboy rogue who is fucking the providers girl on the side. Real black and white thinking.

Come on man. You can use your full knowledge of ALL the buttons and triggers that women have to manipulate them in so many more ways than are just related to night club pickup and pump and dump.

You can get them emotionally AND financially dependent upon you, and make love slaves out of them. Have them sexually addicted. Have them compulsively thinking about you for days, weeks, months, and even years upon years at a time. The game of reeling women in to your world is about so much more than being the most alpha guy on the dance floor.

Finances can, if they are your strength and you know how to use them well, play a fantastic role in bringing women into your world and keeping them there.

Scientific studies have been done that prove that women orgasm harder and more often for wealthy men.

And yet with the regularity of a superstitious Catholic crossing himself at the sight of a black cat crossing his path, we always here “Ya, but!” after every mention of any effective non-game trait. Quick! Hurry! Protect yourself from evil thoughts of effective competitive sexual strategies! “Ya, but!”

I guess it has to do with people identifying with whatever is their strength, and not wanting to view other strengths as real competition.

People will defend their sexual strategy by conjuring up images of apples and oranges. Comparing the best of what a dominant charismatic man can look like against the worst a rich man can look, to see who wins. Bill Gates vs an MMA fighter.

If you want to know the effect of money on attraction, isolate the variable. Compare female access, attraction, and compliance to a broke Bill Gates as compared to a rich and famous Bill Gates.

I’m sure if we put our minds to it, we can come up with many ways to spend and invest money that improve logistics and increase genuine sexual interest. Whole industries are built around making it easier for guys to peackock with money. Table service is said to help.

However studies have been done where you show the same picture of a man to a woman and ask her to rate his sexual attractiveness, and guage her reaction based on verbal and non-verbal cues. When you give a back-story to the man as wealthy, he is shown to be physically more appealing to the woman. Just the back-story itself is a variable in sexual attraction.

But there are ways to get and keep women interested that go beyond peackocking accessories and back-story. Guys have been keeping mistresses on the side by paying for 2nd apartments since as long human society has had apartments.

Is that beta? Are the girls gold diggers? Whatever. It’s a girl on demand in an apartment you can afford.

I pay the expenses for my live in girlfriends when I have them. I put them to work for me, and so pay less than I would any employee, but cash is involved. As it should be. What, I should take years of her precious youth and beauty and leave her with no reconpense at all? Youth and beauty is a financial asset. That should be recognized. That’s a major blindspot of western inculturated men. Let’s get real. Money SHOULD be involved.

There is nothing beta about having financial hand over your girl. Paying her expenses gives you hand. It’s a great setup if you can afford it.

I plan on doing more and more of it. One day I’ll even give them houses and cars and have 50 of them make babies for me.

I understand you guys are in a different culture, where women are expected to be self-supported. I’m not in that culture. I don’t have to say “you made your feminist bed, now sleep in it”, or “you wanted equality, now you have it”. They don’t want equality here.

And neither do I. Equality does not work to my advantage. Using my vast income differential does.

I realize that guys brought up in the matrix of the West just aren’t going to have the frame of reference to be able to see, and are not going to want to see, how financial hand can minimize the options of the woman and increase her sexual attraction and emotional bonding to the man.

Women love opportunistically. Be her best opportunity. Use whatever tools you have.

14 Responses to “Using money as mojo to enhance your pull”

  1. Renfrew said

    Xsplat, this is why we love you. That post, my friends, is a textbook demonstration of how nuanced thinking lets a man create a superior map of the territory and, hence, superior real-life results, ergo, a superior life. With a better map, you see, you aren’t forced to stressfully circumvent dangerous ravines that actually don’t exist, and you fearlessly – and with a big, relaxed smile on your face – tread toward the summits of glorious mountains that aren’t even marked on the black & white maps favoured by more simplistic mortals.

    I’m about 10 years younger and probably not as wealthy as Xsplat (though my base of operations is one of the most expensive cities in the world, and my running costs might be higher). I spend about a third of my time abroad, though, and I am starting to master the craft of spending money on seductive logistics, e.g., taking trips with women, or to visit women. I honestly don’t know quite how rich I look to them (perhaps I’ll enquire), but surely I must appear to have the means – and indeed I do have the means, as well as the freedom – to live a bloody romantic and adventurous life. And – surprise! – women are drawn to this. Girls just wanna have fun.

    Moreover, wherever I roam, there remains a particularly wonderful young woman (a hard 8 in my book), whom I adore above all others, back at the ranch; she’s lived with me since her early 20s, and she looks after my well-being in every conceivable way from dawn till dusk. Am I an alpha provider? I leave the labelling to others. But for me, the bliss of taking objectively excellent care of girl with options who chooses, with her own educated, liberated mind, to be with me, knowing full well who I am and what I’m like and what the fuck I do when I’m not at home, and despite this (or because of it? or both?) to cook for me and shine my shoes and polish my knob and keep my house tidy is tremendous. No way no how, for all the one-night stands in the world, would I trade the profound satisfaction of having her at my beck and call and in the bed I spend the most time in. Especially because a) my appetite for one-night stands is verifiably satiable (for some men, I understand, it’s not), and b) because I don’t have to make this trade, apparently (or am I over the cliff, like Wile E Coyote, and haven’t looked down yet? Time will tell).

    Meanwhile, you tell me: when I buy an outrageously expensive enamelled cast iron pot for this living doll to cook our dinner in, or bright new shoes for her to feel great in, am I spending money on her or on myself? Who knows, who cares. We’re in love, all right? And yet I have what many *insist* dissolves in love’s throws: hand! By hook or by crook, two have become one while still being two, with one of them – me – in overall command of the ship. The paradox is manifest. And so all there is, really, is for me to be grateful and to work to sustain this fortunate life of mine that integrates domestic stability with incessant world travel and semi-wild adventure.

    My current fantasy, to carry out in the next couple of years if the Fates are good (and if I do my early-to-bed-early-to-rise part to court their favour), is to install the aforementioned womyn (I employ the feminist spelling with high irony) in a city centre apartment back in her charming homeland (where, without exaggeration, the abundance of beauty in the streets, feminine, architectural and otherwise, makes it difficult to jog without hitting a lamppost).

    There, according to my reverie, she and her mum, who lives a $3 cab ride away, can raise my as-yet-unconceived kid, and be very happy in this arrangement I suspect. I’ll spend a lot of time there, especially in the warmth of summer, and otherwise keep gallivanting for fun and profit until I need a hip replacement (boring but inevitable) or a volcano grounds commercial aviation for a generation (Black Swan).

    I’m very reticent about having children, I readily confess, for it’s bound to cramp my style in unforeseen ways. Yet men I respect unfailingly declaim the nonpareil meaningfulness and unbridled fulfilment their children have brought them. So…it’s a leap I’m seriously considering, partly on the say-so of these great men, and partly on my own firsthand sense that when I’m old, I’ll be glad for being a father.

    Basta. I didn’t mean to grab the conch like that, Xsplat. It’s just that usually I lurk and finally I thought I’d put down my story, as it appears to me today, lest it be edifying for others. And brevity ain’t my forte.

  2. Theophilus said

    You’re the rogue scientist of the Manosphere, always ahead of the game. One of your best posts ever.

  3. avd said

    “I guess it has to do with people identifying with whatever is their strength, and not wanting to view other strengths as real competition.”

    When your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail… not to mention attempting to frame the discussion in order to preserve ego investment and gain fan boys for the purpose of affirming said ego investment.

  4. Maven3 said

    So in summary – we come long way back from PUA (how to score without money) to provider model (how to score with money)😀

    • Renfrew said

      Well…no. For one, it’s not remotely the same “score” in Xsplat’s scenario as in yours. It’s a zillion times bigger and better. So achieving it will take both money *and* game, not merely in spades but also in loftier and craftier — and, I strongly suspect, more soulful — applications.

      Look, imagine you’re a really rich, really big-hearted sultan: you’re gonna find plenty of women who want to be in your harem, NOT because they’re gold diggers but because YOU are manly and awesome and wonderful, and they naturally want a piece of that because THEY are pumped full of healthy femininity, know their place in the universe, etc., etc.

      Anyway, Xsplat wrote a piece a couple of months ago about women liking a man with money that explained this better than I can (in fact, it got me thinking about the subject…).

  5. Snoeperd said

    Great post man, i would like your insight on a related issue though. Since you are invariably going to get “are you saying all women are whores” and “real men don’t pay for poon” responses (i atleast i would get them if i showed my friends / family this post) could you enlighten me in austistically-detailed terms what exactly you want from your girlfriend?

    Its not sex; you could just pay a hooker.
    Its not the moral approval and/or respect of society, you moved to SE asia, most white women and probably your family would call you (or atleast me, im going from my perspective now since i don’t have enough detail about yours)
    Its not the cooking, you can eat out.
    Its not the cleaning, you can get a cleaning lady.

    Is is the doting look in your girlfriends eyes? Do you get a feeling of power when someone looks at you like you’re valuable? Maybe this sounds terribly autistic of me (i was diagnosed with aspergers as a kid but now i can fool most people, some even think i’m *charming*) but I never “got” the feeling of respect or adoration or admiration or something like that when people give me this look, whether you get it from a girl in a club or when performing well in the gym (from guys). I feel its an unwilling to be an object that is valued, but as i wrote that sentence it feels like my paradigm is warped by some retarded notion of female “objectification”.

    So, if you could make a post extolling the virtues of your lifestyle & your relationship, preferably moment to moment i would be grateful, or perhaps someone can point me to a related post??

    ps: this was a rant, dont take it too seriously, i feel like a bitch after writing it because i put my bitching in writing

    • xsplat said

      What exactly I want from my girlfriend?

      I’ve been living with the latest girl for a few years now. What I want from her and how satisfied I am with her varies. At best I want romance and a warm loving vibe and regular passionate sex. Sometimes I go through phases of being very irritable with her (to the point of being sick of her – I hear that happens to men when they are ready for variety), but even then I can appreciate her attending to all my needs.

      I put my girlfriends to work as personal assistants, and I’ve long ago grown accustomed to living life with a full time attendant. I’m so used to it I can hardly imagine living otherwise. Kind of like a microwave, or the internet, or electricity. Ya, you can do fine without it, but once you get used to it you don’t want to go back to the lifestyle of living without. All the girls will work nearly full time on attending to my needs and the needs of housekeeping. From gopher work, to cooking and cleaning, to secretarial work – there is always plenty to do. Plus I use her as a buffer between me and the non-English speaking Indonesians I come across. Some may consider that weak, but I enjoy using a personal assistant as a buffer. I feel taken care of that way, and Kingly. I like to delegate, even for small tasks, such as getting bananas, or standing in line at the grocery store.

      The current girl has many deficits, some serious, but at her best she’s loving and sexual and hot and doting. That’s most of what I need from a girl.

  6. Boy Toy said

    Yeah, money definitely matters. I always try to come across as wealthy, entrepeneurial and independent as possible. The fun part is, that it is actually possible to be PERCIEVED as rich, without actually BEING it. Just the way you dress can make a HUGE difference!!! Good post:)

  7. Jimmy said

    An encouraging post.I’m in my early 50’s and will be retiring soon,and have been thinking along the same lines you are.
    I take it you’re in Indonesia?How would you say it compares to Thailand?

  8. Benjamin Honestlin said

    Xsplat, off topic

    I just want to let you know in complete sincere gratitude that your blog has completely changed my perspective in the best way possible.

    I had given up on love and become a misogynist for a brief stretch of time, but now I see that it is very possible to be a loving human being and reap the rewards of devotion in a fresh way.

    I am young and all of this advice is so fucking on the money it’s unreal. This could very well be the gospel of wisdom that’ll stand the test of time.

    • xsplat said

      Ya, love is a temporary illusion, but it’s a useful, interesting, and fun illusion.

      I’m at a place now where my love life is terribly stale, and I’m just focusing on business for now, but I’m sure the seasons will roll around to a springtime of passion in due time.

  9. Snoeperd said

    Where is your writing man? Im missing your non-moralistic non-rationalizing input on the selfdeluded world of social interaction

    • xsplat said

      Ya, strangely the entirety of my compulsion to write evaporated once I upped my social interaction through taking on some interns.

      I was using blogging and forum participation as my main means of socializing with like minded folks, and so maintained quite a hunger for it for years. It was my plan to change that, as that’s not ideal, and I did manage to change it, and the side effect is no more desire to blog.

      I’m focusing now on business projects, and puzzling out solutions in a group like that and watching the implementation is a pleasure to me.

      Looking back I notice phases in my life, and I’d imagine that’s the common way of things. I think it’s been noticed that it’s a trend for personal manosphere blogs to last only a few years. It’s fun to shift focus – that’s a reason I like to move to a new city every few years.

      We’ll see if getting re-invigorated once the move is made to China re-invigorates the blog.

      Oh, and I’m really, really not focusing at all on relationship stuff lately. Bored to tears with it. It meaning her. But not looking for anything new right now. All business.

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