Types of manosphere meme spam bots
Posted by xsplat on January 18, 2013
I’ve got to reblog this article that I saw on Bronan the Barbarian:
Fly Fresh and Barbaric Presents: Manospambots!
Anyone who has ever ran a website or a blog is familiar with the unending assault of spam bots your filter hopefully picks up every day. Many of us laugh at a particular bot that plagues WordPress blogs known as “lista de email”, which, through the weekend, blew up my filter with 344 separate comments telling me how fantastic, smart, and knowledgeable I am before recommending 10-20 foreign, virus infested links to click
Unfortunately, spam filters aren’t always bulletproof and the results can be devastating when they fail. Bots invade comment sections or inboxes with links to fleshlights, magical dick enlarging pills, and necrophilia videos, pissing everyone off (but a select few) and ending whatever conversation was going on.
However, spam filters need updating to keep up with the latest technology as Juan the Peruvian programmer/hacker is a pretty fucking smart guy, and I am here to tell you developers are failing. New breeds of spam bots have slowly been proliferating the manosphere, ones like no one has seen before, and the filters are helpless. It could be Skynet, it could be some diabolical AI-Human hybrid, nobody knows. What we do know, though, is that these spam bots aren’t content with dropping tranny porn or vaginal rejuvination links- No!- these bots aim for nothing less than the total hijacking of all manosphere comments sections until men’s souls are sucked dry, writers beat their heads on the wall, and conversation reaches kindergarten levels of discourse.
Luckily, Fly Fresh and Barbaric is on the scene, and CSI aint got shit on us. We’ve been tracking this phenomena for months now, and after dozens of black light bulbs, semen samples, and hours spent taking our sunglasses off gazing into the distance before commercial break, we are alarmed at our findings. Manospambot sightings have increased exponentially over the half year, and many blogs are thoroughly infested. Like kudzu they creep in, strangling discourse, crowding out true contributors, and scaring away visitors. A comment here, and comment there, and before you know it people are reading threads and then calling the manosphere creepy, bitter, and close minded. Soon,
nobody will write anything, ever, for fear of invoking their onslaught.
Now that we’ve alerted you of this grave national security issue, let’s take a look at some of these Manospambots so you can know what to watch out for.
This particular Manospambot can be found anywhere women are mentioned. Despite years of common agreement among most of us in the sphere that marriage is a pretty raw deal, DontGetMarriedBot feels like everyone needs a reminder in every comment thread he happens upon. Proud of his unique and special insight, one that no one has made, ever, he loudly proclaims to anyone and everyone that whatever topic is being discussed, this is why he isn’t getting married. If anyone does mention marriage, he is sent into a spiraling rage, frothing at the mouth that anyone would so fucking stupid as to even consider marriage.
Told a story where you hooked up with a chick? “THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER GET MARRIED!”
Said, in passing, that you don’t look down on married dudes? “MARRIAGE IS FOR PUSSIES AAARGH!”
Famous dude got married? “FUCK! MARRIAGE! IDIOT!”
Look, we’re not exactly endorsing marriage over here but let’s be real. DontGetMarriedBot- You’re a fag. No one cares. Some people are going to get married, and some people aren’t, some people are loyal as fuck, and others are going to cheat, some people will have awesome marriages, and others won’t, and none of them are going to change their mind because of you. Just because you can get other DontGetMarriedBots to agree with you and pat you on the back for your amazing insights, in caps lock no less, doesn’t award you any points in life, or the internet.
This Manospambot is fucking everywhere, and everybody loses when they show up. According to these bots, any girl who has sex outside of marriage or has a drunken hook up is soulless and unworthy of basic human decency or life in general. But come on, look around, there aren’t that many gingers. While it’s commonly recognized that incredibly slutty chicks are usually bad girlfriends or wives, SlutsAreEvilBots are convinced every girl around them is dripping in jizz and a total fucking whore. They use the term “sport fuck” and “cock carousel” gratuitously because real ballers say that in real life conversations, and if you didn’t know any better, every girl in this country is gangbanged on a nightly basis.
The fact of the matter is, there are plenty of cool, fun chicks out there with a wide variety of notch counts. The vast, vast majority of chicks are not getting plugged by fresh dick every weekend, and a solid majority of women have a few long term boyfriends and maybe a ONS or two before getting married. Just stay away from the Paris Hilton types and single moms and you’ll be alright.
This Manospambot might be the most annoyingly determined of all. Like DontGetMarriedBot, it is around to offer its always original, one size fits all advice: Go your own way ya dingus! Unlike regular MGTOWs who keep to themselves, MGTOWBot is like and Evangelical hanging around outside of substance abuse sessions, ready to pounce on the weak and disillusioned with their promise of riches and glory. The best part: No effort required!
Got rejected? Go your own way!
Game is hard? That’s why he’s going his own way!
Not meeting women’s standards? Ghost, motherfucker!
Captain of industry who is clearly not getting the rewards he deserves? Yeah I’m going Galt, bitches.
Nobody ever said shit was easy, but MGTOWBot thinks everything should have been handed to him on a platter. Women, success, you name it. He doesn’t want to improve, or try, or take any risks, so when the going gets hard… he jerks it off. Not content to wallow in his pussitis, he feels an incredible need to proselytize anyone that does or doesn’t pay him any attention, derailing comment threads with his Own Way Oaths.
While there is a general agreement that gender relations are kind of fucked up in America and that there a lot of women acting like slobs around here, AmericanGirlsSuckBot takes that shit to a whole ‘nother level. Everything that is wrong with this country can be laid at the feet of women. Every American chick is fat, every American chick is a ballbusting cunt, and every American girl dresses like a dude. When one rejects you, she is an ungrateful bitch. Fact.
Similar to SlutsAreEvilBot, this bot has never once met an American girl that was worthy of his sought after attention. They’re all shit. All of them. And you should expat yesterday. Try and dispute this with your own experience or the experiences of countless other dudes you know, and you’re in for a world of annoying text. One would think that these bots use all of this to excuse their failures, but that would be too obvious, it can’t be that.
We’re not going to dispute that there are a lot of fucked up fatass chicks out there,or deny there are plenty of cunts out there- that would be false. We’re not even trying to defend them, but come on, there are plenty of cool, non bitchy, sexy, man pleasing chicks out there as well. We have been with plenty of them. But here’s the catch: You have to, you know, be attractive yourself in order to get one.
AmericanGirlsSuckBot’s insistence upon continued blanket statements about American women in comment threads, regardless of topic, reveal more about him than American women.
Finally, let’s take a look at the most retarded Manospambot out there: BetaBetaBetaBot. In all his infinite wisdom, glory, and game, he finds ways to deem just about everyone under the sun “beta”. Had a
girlfriend? Beta. Been in love? Beta. Bought a girl a drink? Beta, regardless of outcome. Brad Pitt? Beta. Disagreed with the geographer? Beta.
Look, these guys wrote the Book of Alpha so don’t you fuck with them. They know way more than you about what constitutes a real fucking man, so shut your piehole cause you don’t know shit. Regardless of their definition of Alpha, nobody fits except them, so don’t get too depressed.
Not only are they gatekeepers to the Realm Of All That Is Alpha (And Obviously Isn’t), their game is off the charts, they’ve never fucked up, and they always know what you could have done better. The best part: They’ll let you know, repeatedly.
The sphere is a pretty cool place. We’ve got a concentration of writing talent, real world experience, and intellect like few places have ever seen before. With all the writing on manliness, game,
lifestyle, economics, whatever, it’s like a virtual Masonic Lodge, except most of us aren’t as old as Private Man, don’t wear fez hats, and don’t ride mini karts in July Fourth parades.
People wonder why the manosphere doesn’t spread a fast as it should, and there are two overarching reasons – Political Incorrectness, and Manospambots that shit all over comment threads, scaring away visitors with their butthurt, bitterness, and gratuitous amounts of sand pouring from their vaginas. One of those two reasons can be changed tomorrow.
Now that you know what your robotic spam enemy looks like, feel free to read a blog or two. Just remember – Don’t get married to some evil slut American girl without going your own way, you fucking
and from the comments:
Bronan The Barbarian! says: The problem is, manosphere blogs are like medicine. A small dose cures you, too much kills you. Some dudes get incredibly bitter and humorless after repeated exposure.
Anon says: You forgot the White Nationalist bot.
Roosh says: You forgot the Game Doesn’t Work bot.