Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

How important is class to you?

Posted by xsplat on January 6, 2013

I was just curious if anyone on here cared about what social class a girl comes from?

I will take a girl that has good manners, and comes from a good/wealthy family over a girl that is hotter but doesn’t have that going for her.

Anyone else feel the same way?

I used to think that I preferred self aware meditating women only. Then I realized that many of those have an unbearable neurotic burden and that meditating had no correlation to cheerfulness and easy companionship.

But I was still sure that I needed high intelligence. Until I saw that a woman with high intelligence is very smart at rationalizing crazy bullshit.

I’ve been with women of all classes and intelligence and education and meditation ability.

Number one is her affect. Is she cheerful? Is she easy to get along with?

Class doesn’t affect affect.

I don’t care if I find the girl in the trash can. If she makes me feel good, she’s good.

But after that, yes, all the other attributes weigh in. They are a minor consideration. I’d never choose or reject a woman based on the minor considerations only.

Oh, also it’s of benefit to me if the woman considers me above her station, and that I have way more money than she could expect to earn on her own. That’s just Having Hand 101. The expense of having this hand means nothing to me – making money is my job, and I do my job.

And don’t forget about the trade offs.

If your mate value score is 100 gold coins, how much of that do you want to spend on youth and beauty, and how much do you want to spend on class, intelligence, and a long background of wealth?

Let’s not kid ourselves, sexy debutantes are rare and have higher expectations than sexy trailer trash girls. Those are the top apples on the tree.

The apples lower down are more likely to look up to you, to cherish you, to treat you like a prize, like a king.

Ya, if I my mate value points were 10,000 gold coins, or if I could find a debutante who could be persuaded that it is, then a deb would look superior.

But given the choice between a deb who views me as low down on her hypergamous list and a trailer trash hottie who views me as way up on it, I’ll take the trailer trash hottie.

Or given the choice of an older and plainer middle class girl and a trailer trash hottie, I’ll take the hottie.

The coin that must be spent on class detracts from coin that can be spent on hotness.

Of course I’m working on increasing my coin, but I don’t believe that coin is all in the head – that everything boils down to confidence. I believe that’s a self hypnotic idea that is on par with a delusion – a psychosis even. You want to know what is a limiting belief? Reality is a limiting belief. There is an inter-subjective world of mate value rankings – and confidence plays only a part in that – it’s not the whole of the mate value ranking.

Update: What does a feminist call a man who is aware of female hypergamy? Intimidated by strength and independence.

He he – women are masters of puffing out clouds of dissimulating snark. If women were not always looking for men of higher station than them, men would prefer women of higher station. It’s the hypergamy that makes women with income less attractive – they are less likely to treat the man well if he earns less.

Update 2: We know that women tend to think first with emotion and rarely with math, so when they hear that most women want to date up, but most men don’t care if they date down, they rarely realize that this means that the more money they make, the smaller the pool of eligible men AND the larger the pool of women competing for these men. A 35 year old lawyer only wants to date an attractive man of greater means, but so do all the other women – including those who are hotter and younger. So why would Mr. Rich bother with Ms. Hypergamous? Because she’s a lawyer? Men don’t think like that. We’re happy to date the secretary, if she’s hot and feminine. Hypergamy means that women can’t have it all. It’s mathematically impossible. Hypergamy plus a high paying career = not enough high enough status men to go around therefore the choice for women is between career and a satisfying dating life. Women have no choice about only being emotionally satisfied with men who out earn them, and as they earn more, there are not enough available men (because men don’t restrict themselves to women of means), therefore if a woman wants to be satisfied with her mate, she has a greater chance of that if she earns less money.

But again, women think first with emotions, and rarely if ever with math.

9 Responses to “How important is class to you?”

  1. Snoeperd said

    I like how you both include an awesome sentence “Class doesn’t affect affect.” and an inane one “Reality is a limiting belief”. The first 1 is a great wordplay while the second one is absurd.

  2. taterearl said

    “Number one is her affect. Is she cheerful? Is she easy to get along with?”

    Hear, hear and it doesn’t matter if she is mind blowingly beautiful or the best lay you ever had. If her mood is shit all the time and she constantly wants to be in control she is a 1 at best.

  3. Drama said

    No single attribute is important individually. Rather it all comes down to what was stated in the post, affect. Is the affect she has positive or negative.
    However, I’d say that on sheer numbers a girl of higher class is more likely to have a positive affect than one of low class. Of course this applies differently to everyone’s perspective, but I think the idea generally remains the same.

    A girl from a better background is more likely to be more well adjusted. Too low class and she’s probably gutter trash, too high class and you might get yourself a needy princess. Right in the middle in probably where any guy wants to be. A respectable girl from the middle classes behavior is still more likely to get close to the upper class, while a girl from the bottom rungs is more likely to stay at the bottom with self-defeating thinking and decision making.

    • xsplat said

      Ya, that’s a really good point. The higher classes can have higher standards of behavior, including standards of maturity. Dysfunction breeds dysfunction, and if a girl had a dysfunctional childhood, she can have developmental impairments that are resistant to change.

  4. Your concept of the 100 gold coins is powerful and accurate.

  5. avd said

    Agree. After physical attraction, feminine energy that is complementary to one’s masculine energy comes first. Assuming it’s there, then other factors come into consideration, among them, “class.” For me personally, as mentioned above, too little class leads to expending energy against the downward pull toward prolishness; too much leads to expending energy toward resisting the upward pull toward the feminine social matrix. For me, generally, somewhere in the middle usually works best: good enough family, upbringing, background, etc. that she is a quality individual, but not so much that she feels compelled to hold on to her past, rather than following you into her future.

  6. jake said

    “Reality is a limiting belief.” – that’s essence of essence, right there.

    • xsplat said

      I’m not sure if wording it like that was funny or just confusing. I’d meant to say that the real world has real limits, and that our beliefs don’t alter reality as if the world were just a dream. A while back some new age ideas were popular that belief could accomplish anything. Well, that’s true, for psychotics. But to accomplish real world goals takes much more than the Peter Pan Principle of “I think I can, I think I can”, and to build a rocket ship that can go to the moon requires more than believing real hard.

      I know that usually people use the phrase “limiting beliefs” to try to bolster confidence and to get over self doubt. But it’s also used as a way to keep away reality checks. It would be good to eventually be able to handle tests to the ego and do reality checks while still acting effectively, and so build up confidence through the feedback of real world actions.

      So when I said “reality is a limiting belief”, I was mocking the idea that beliefs are the only thing that either hold us back or allow us to accomplish. Reality also holds us back or allows us to accomplish – reality itself sets limits on us – regardless of what our beliefs are.

      The self hypnotic trick is to avoid painful realities in order to boost self esteem and confidence, however ignoring how the world works does not always convey magical powers of reality altering effectiveness. Reality has it’s own beliefs and doesn’t always care about ours – limiting or otherwise.

      But I’ve had this discussion with those who are prone to magical thinking, and it’s not something they are willing to digest. They’d prefer an egocentric reality where the very fabric of the rules of nature are under their ultimate command.

  7. rivsdiary said

    i love classy girls. very interesting dilemma. i think for the short term, i prefer a hotter girl, even if there is a tacky component to her, but for a LTR, a classier girl with a better upbringing, even if less pretty.

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