Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

LSD, the good, the bad, and the weird

Posted by xsplat on January 3, 2013

RE: The power of magic mushrooms
Anybody know of anyone who’s brain got fucked from shrooms? I’ve tried them a few times but I’m worried about the effects of long term use.

A lot of people in meditation communities started meditating after doing hallucinogens.

I was into them in my late teens, along with meditation and philosophy. There were positive effects, and negative. I suspect it can increase creativity, even in the long term. Some negative effects were that I had some weird and unsubstantiated beliefs – as if I trusted some weird form of intuition. Years later I realized I didn’t possess any weird form of intuition. Also from what I’ve seen in others and have experienced, some people experience some mild cognitive impairment from LSD. When doing LSD the walls would breathe, and for some years afterwards objects continued to refuse to stay still.

OGNorCal707 Wrote: I know people who have had real bad trips from LSD and had been permanently effected by it…

Ya. I met a guy on Dead tour who was noticeably fucked up. Stumbling around, crashing into my jewelry vending table, giggling. A mad man, really. Someone had splashed a vial of LSD on him and since then he’d been in this new state for a few years. Heartbreaking.

I’ve heard of other guys who wound up living in a mental institution from a bad trip.

And I met a heavy tripper who was sane and functional, but was slightly to moderately impaired. And have met many people who claim mild cognitive impairment. And of course many others who noticed no impairment.

I took a pretty big dose once and had what most would call an extremely heavy trip, but what the doctors called a psychotic break. Earlier in the night, before the full effect had hit me, me and my buddy were watching TV when I turned to him and exclaimed “Wait – that’s a black and white TV!”. We stared at each other wide eyed, then looked back at the TV. “Oh yea!”. We were both watching it in color.

Shortly after that I started scribbling on a pad of paper, and saw my doodles in deep 3-D. I thought they were brilliant works of art and that in the morning I’d be famous. Then I started to get some messianic complex. Then it got weird.

The doctors would check in on me in my guerney from time to time and ask me how I was doing. I didn’t respond because I thought they were just another hallucination.

That was a wild night.

Saw two new colors that don’t exist the next day, while in the hospital. Some new type of red and a new type of blue. I speculated that they were in the infrared and ultraviolet? They were superimposed on objects, but out of alignment with them.

The family doctor gave me a note to skip out on my French exam. Good thing, as I had a case of the stupids that week.

I had the early part of the evening on tape, and when I replayed it I could hear the alternate personality that was spontaneously generated come out, and feel him. Strange.

The family doctor counseled me that I had a strong mind, and he’d seen it go the other way with some guys, from a similar dose. Some guys get the psychotic break, and don’t return. That’s what happened to an original band member of Fleetwood Mac, Peter Green.

king Wrote: When i have taken mushrooms or peyote, i always have felt like there is some deep revelation about the world, as if i have found the right way to live, and these are often thoughts like being a more kind person, more compassionate, etcetera, basically a bunch of hippie stuff. I have also felt once how we are related to every living thing in some way, obviously this is a kind of trivial thought, but the difference is that when you are tripping you also “feel” it and the visualizations can be pretty amazing too.

Unfortunately, this train of thought does not last long and as soon i enter the “real world” i see that there are mean,mediocre people and i can’t maintain that mindset for any more than 1 week, is like if during the trip my brain was tricked with thoughts that may not be correct, but while i was tripping i was very sure that this was the right way to act and live. Does anybody have a similar experience?

Ya, some people use spiritual practices to try to stay in that lovey dovey space where you share an over-soul with all beings. Over time they can have an effect, and you can have some pretty trippy experiences even without the drugs.

Some of those meditations, I believe, also have charismatic value.

But those feelings tend to fade in and out also. Probably neurochemical, along with how our brain tends to make sense out of data to create a “reality” out of it. But as far as illusions go, it seems a good one to choose. Effective towards being happy and making others happy, and towards seduction.

Did anyone else ever feel some sort of dissociation from their ego, perhaps a rudimentary witness consciousness experience, and try to explain to others that “it’s not me that’s talking”?

It’s the strangest experience to watch the words come out of your mouth, know that others won’t be able to understand what you mean, but still feel compelled to try to explain the unique experience, and to really feel strongly that it is not you who is talking.

10 Responses to “LSD, the good, the bad, and the weird”

  1. Mike said

    Took it 5 times when I was in my late 20’s. Loved it the first time, but the power diminished on the 4 subsequent ingesions. Moving walls bored me greatly, however was pleasantly surprised when I saw auras during the first trip. I had never heard of them before, so a few days later I looked up what they were and was greatly intrigued. Your trips seem scary compared with mine. Seems that you ingested more micrograms?

    • xsplat said

      Ya, I was intrigued when I saw auras also, and so spent hours and hours in the following weeks trying to recreate the experience. I had some modest success.

      But then it occurred to me that there might be a good reason why dream life and waking life are so distinct. Is it a good idea to be able to hallucinate at will? To have open eyed visualizations? Maybe there is a danger of some madness in that, and that’s why our brains are not wired to easily do that.

      That thought unnerved me and I backed off the endeavor.

      Yes, the trip I described was a very large dose of the very finest acid I’d ever come across. Still wasn’t completely pure though, as I was troubled with a tense jaw and an upset stomach, that I’m told meant it was contaminated with trace amounts of strychnine . That fucked up the trip a bit at one point, when I was in lala land with the talking squirrels and monkeys.

  2. Dr. Eric Stratton said

    Took it too many times to remember in my late teens and early twenties. Took some large forgot where I was and everything was alive doses, one at a Dead show. Never went into Hunter S. Thompson territory though.

    As far as I can tell, I’m not suffering any lasting effects, but I do know some who were mildly “changed” by trips. Mushrooms seem to be more dangerous in that regard, though I always kept it together on shrooms too, no matter how strong and disjointed the evening got.

  3. […] LSD, the good, the bad, and the weird « Random Xpat Rantings […]

  4. yousowould said

    I had a pretty intense LSD trip at a festival, and I know the phenomenon you describe. Your perception of reality, and the sudden lucidity you gain, is entirely unique to that trip, and to you as a person – the words don’t actually exist in the English language to accurately articulate the feeling to someone else, especially someone who isn’t also tripping. I strongly suspect the euphoria and empathy is a side effect of the massive dopamine release.

    I get the same thing when waking up from a deep sleep sometimes when I’m in heavy REM – my brain accepts a warped version of reality as truth, and it’s only when I fully wake up do I realise what utter crap I had just been thinking for the past 5 minutes.

  5. DrT said

    Never done anything hallucinogenic as I’m very wary about the possible effects.
    I used to be a practising evangelical Christian, and had some odd experiences including one time when I felt what I can only describe as ecstacy in the presence of God. I think some of us are more intuitive or suggestible than others and we will have experiences interpreted through the framework of whatever we believe. Drugs may well open us up to “truth”, lowering the barriers of perception, but I see no long-term benefits for those who partake.

    • xsplat said

      I really like the way you explained your experience. Ken Wilber might put it the same way, although I can’t off the top of my head remember his exact framework. Something about higher states being interpreted through our current stage. “Ecstacy in the presence of God” sounds familiar, as might other interpretations of higher states of awareness, like a sense of pervading Buddha Nature. Anyway, I appreciate how you try to put these very personal and immediate experiences into a rational framework.

      As to long term benefit, it’s controversial. Richard Alpert, a meditation instructor who went by the name of Baba Ram Dass and former associate of Timothy Leary eventually said that they are helpful in the short term, but draining in the long term. On the other hand, psylosybin can be good for cluster headaches, and for relieving a person from the fear of death. And ibogaine can be good to alleviate addictions. And it’s possible that long term creativity can be positively affected by hallucinogens, but I don’t know if there is hard evidence for that yet.

      Meditators tend to take the stance that drugs can be a quick route to some insights that inspire people to make the insights a permanent way of being through the disciplines of meditation. And some people do just that and much more, although the dedication of time and effort can be huge.

      I’ve only done them a few times since I was a teen. A few shrooms about six months ago. I used to consider them a gateway to a profound insight, but not so much anymore, although there is an interesting and possibly useful sense of connecting to an ego death – or to what it’s like after death. Hard to put a finger on it. They say mushrooms can help you make peace with death, and last time I did them my health was iffy, and it did seem to make me somehow feel that I was both alive and dead already at the same time, and to somehow come to peace with it. Doesn’t really make sense when you put it in words, but apparently the shroom has been shown to have positive psychological benefits to cancer patients facing death.

  6. Hero said

    I wouldn’t worry about long term effects from LSD or Psilocybin. Both have very low toxicity.

    I did a lot of LSD and some Psilocybin for about three years in my early twenties. I don’t suffer from any long term effects other than the memories of the experiences and the intangible change in my understanding of consciousness.

  7. “Did anyone else ever feel some sort of dissociation from their ego, perhaps a rudimentary witness consciousness experience, and try to explain to others that it’s not me that’s talking”?

    I only had a few such trips during my college years with the first one being the strongest. None were unpleasant.

    But the experience of “observing oneself” was quite noticeable and very interesting.

  8. Chris said

    Psychedelic ecstasies changed my life irreversibly, but, as they say, once you get the message – hang up the phone. Otherwise, you can turn into a casualty who sees black helicopters in the air and spiders all over his arms. No thanks, brah. The mild form of “acid casualty” is this conception that the end point of a personal spirituality is getting to the “peak” and staying there. A more mature way of things is — to get real. And that involves not bothering trying to describe the ineffable to people who aren’t really interested anyway.

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