Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

What is spiritual love?

Posted by xsplat on November 20, 2012

When I hear men talk about sex being a base, primal, animalistic urge, when I hear men disparage other men for thinking with their dicks, I know that these men are sexually and spiritually under-developed.

There are hierarchies of psychological development we go through, among many different lines. Developmental psychologist Piaget was one of the first to outline the broad structure, and others including Ken Wilber later expanded on his work and applied it to many other lines of development humans have available.

Sexual development can mature into a whole body/mind/spirit communion of the most refined expression of our selves.

Buddhists spend a great deal of time and effort and focus on realizing the nature of mind. They’ll gather together in the meditation hall, and sit silently, staring at the floor in front of them. I’ve hung out with groups doing this for an hour a day after work, or 8 hours a day in a week long retreat, or for a month long retreat, or for a three month retreat. And I’ve done even more rigorous training alone living in isolated forest cabins or tents, for 4 weeks, 9 weeks, 11 weeks. The notion is that the nature of mind is meant to be somehow or other a wordlessly divine thing. That the self and all appearances have a nature that you could call “guru’s mind”, and that devotion is appropriate to it. To all. Every motion and every appearance is to be realized as mind, and the essence of mind is wisdom and compassion.

In Buddhism we practice hearing, contemplating, and holding the view. So you read and listen to teachings, think about them and resolve all your questions, and then use that information to hold a mental map of the world, that you use as your lens. So when you start to see that the nature of mind includes a desire to be happy, then you start to see how compassion is built into how the mind works. When you start to have lucid dreams in which it becomes clear that the dreamer and the dream are both dreamed, then the subject/object duality of perceiver and perceived starts to loosen, and perceptions start to seem to just perceive themselves, without the need for a central processor to take credit for perceiving. Things just become vivid despite you, not because of you. And from this foundation of a view, you can look into other people, and intuit the same nature of mind.


There are spiritual practices that people do to recognize divinity in each other. The Sufies like to stare into each others eyes. Many traditions have their rituals, and spontaneous recognitions can happen seemingly randomly. I was at an eclectic gathering for a Jewish ritual in a Hindu ashram one day, when I saw god in the eyes of a pretty young girl. The moment lasted maybe a half of a second, but it was like a bright white explosion went off. It was a powerful experience for me, and had aftereffects that lasted for a few days. Everyone I saw had an inner divine essence, that I was somehow or other connecting with.

When you practice body centered meditations, it’s like cooking. You get a sense for the ingredients. It’s not just undifferentiated sacred foodstuff, but there are endless combinations of nuance possible. You have the heart chakra, which is like nitrous frothed whipping cream. You have the energies in the 2nd chakra in the belly just above the crotch, which is like a mildly spicy bean and chili sauce. It’s not just undifferentiated food, but it’s tastes and textures and feelings. With chi-kung you feel into them, but also learn how to mix and match and move these around. Coupled with the Buddhist view of all experience being sacred, or an expression of Buddha Nature, and you start to feel that inside your chest is something very, very good. And that this good thing is not strictly confined, but can mix with the world and with others.

And not just the heart energies, but all the energies, and moods, and words, and images and songs and touches and ecstasies and orgasms. You are love playing with love.

With chi-kung healing touch, you learn to feel into another person. You rest your hand above or on the person, and project your attention through your hand and into the person. Your heart rate will drop, you’ll get a calm full bodied appreciation of all your energies from below your feet to above your head, and you will listen. Listen as if you are trying to hear inside of her.

I took one class where we were instructed to listen as if we were trying to hear God. To recognize god in the other person.

There is a way to mingle with another that is not only deeply respectful, but it is meaningful.

Humans are built to want meaning in their life.

I can look back over what I’ve written here, and take many different stances. I can take it literally, as I did at the time, that there are real energies, and that the nature of mind is indeed sacred and profound. Or I can take it all as a happy delusion. I no longer much care which is true – I don’t really need it to be real anymore. But it is real, in that the kinesthetic visualizations are very detailed and powerful mental maps that have real world cause and effect consequences. When I touch a woman and move my mind into her, even if she has no meditative training, she’ll remark to me how my hands just feel right into her. The effect of chi-kung sex vs regular sex on a woman is day and night. When I see God in the eyes of a lover, my pupils will dilate, which will cause hers to dilate, which will cause a chain reaction of endorphins and pheromones and an instant falling in love will happen between us. No matter what the “ultimate” explanation of reality is, the viewpoint of feeling and seeing and conceptualizing divine energies is practical. It has very practical effects.

And it feels good.

I’ll write more later.

8 Responses to “What is spiritual love?”

  1. Wudang said

    Great post!

    I`d love to see you write more about qigong sex. More about how to do it, more about how to train for it and more about how women react to it compared to regular sex.

    It would also be great to get some input from you on how to construct a relationship with a more moderate level of dominance than you use in your relationships. My inclination is along the lines of Athols Captain and first officer model but with a good chunk more dominance and a strong BDSM element but still not nearly as much dominance as you employ. I think I would like something closer to what a more typical western alpha male has in his relationships but no the type of worshipful relationship you have. Probably something along the lines of the relationship Stingray has with her husband:


    I`d also not want to use a few of the harshest tactics you use. I would not enjoy the degree to which your womens lives center arround yours. There is an appeal in it to me but it is too much. I`d like elements of it though. I also have a strong pull towards the intimacy and lover game stuff you do combined with the dominance. That mix comes natural to me. I like the takeninhand relationship model a lot but it is a bit too ritualistic for me. I also would enjoy a relationship where the woman understands the dom sub dynamic and can check her behavior based on that in the way one can see women on Athols forum doing. It seems handy to smooth things out and I find the explicit acknowledgement of leadership erotic.

    So, if you have ideas arround ways to go about constructing something more moderate along these lines that would be awesome. I think for most of your readers such a model is also a more realistic goal.

    • Phedre said

      Wudang, my fiancé and I have the same type of relationship as Stingray and her husband. It’s hard to give advice because there are so few relationships like that nowadays that there’s little to generalise from. In my situation, neither of us ever fully swallowed the blue pill due to antisocialness/ introvertedness, and if you can find a woman like that that would definitely help. When a woman is strongly engaged with a group of other women she is going to be constantly influenced by them. I would say look for a woman without too many friends and with a strong independence from the opinions of others.

      Next, I would suggest behaving dominant from the start. I think Stingray and Redpillwifey both started on the red pill path later, and while it is obviously doable, it will be much much harder. In my case, my fiancé determined everything we were doing from the start – what we do, where we go, how we get there, what we eat, how we have sex. Everything. I loved it. It made me feel free to just BE, at his side. And that’s just how it has continued to be (8 years later). I do my own thing when he’s working, and some of that is domestic, but there’s also plenty of time for furthering my own interests. And when he’s home I do whatever he wants me to do, go with him wherever he’s going and just provide loving, compassionate, helpful companionship. It’s a very happy life for both of us.

      Finally, I would suggest to get a young girl. I had only just turned 18 when we met, and he’s 19 years older than me. This meant that I was more plastic (in my habits and worldview), had spent less time in the Matrix, had less experiences with other men with which to bias my idea of how things should be (relationship wise I mean, not sexually), and really was just more able to have fun. I think if you can get a girl that young your first few years of young, lighthearted fun will stay with you forever, keeping both of you younger for it. That has been our experience. Xsplat maintains that at a higher level by constantly seeking new young girls, but you can still have that effect, strong, but less intense just by starting young with the one you choose.

      Lastly, I think, despite what many in this sphere suggest, that a highly intelligent girl is a better bet because a- she will be less likely to fall under the influence of other women and b- she is more likely to be open to modifications later on in the relationship if you present them in a rational way. But this is only in the context of the other prerequisites. An older, hardened blue-piller with brains is only going to use them to argue with you in support of the feminist ideology.

      I hope this has been helpful. I know you asked Xsplat, but I figured my experience might be relevant.

      • Tilted said

        This is a helpful comment, thanks.

        Also, I wouldn’t say the manosphere is against intelligent girls, but rather “educated” women who a) hold useless degrees but cannot think rationally, or b) think that their education increases their SMV or entitles them to something. There are endless benefits to being in a relationship with a woman who’s actually intelligent.

  2. Chris said

    Here we see the beginnings of what men could be engaging in their continuing evolution of inner game. And here’s the thing: there is no contradiction between the tone of this kind of message and those of previous posts. None. We can cultivate the view – and hold it – while maintaining and enforcing the masculine frame that our women crave (contrary to their feigned protestations).

    Well done, sir.

  3. Phedre said

    Tilted, you’re right of course. The wording sometimes gets conflated in the comment sections, buts it’s the effect of feminist-driven education and the hamster’s insistence on its value that are the problem.

    My greatest disillusionment in life came when I entered university. I had been working so hard for what I thought would be the moment of escape, from the feminist-Marxist bullshit with which every subject was tainted to the pursuit of pure, honest, truth. Instead, it was the more of the same, but taken to higher theoretical levels of bullshit. If I hadn’t already had an aversion to that ideology I would have been deeply corrupted by it, and undoubtedly many many women are.

  4. David Alexander said

    I hate nihilists and I want to commend you for finding meaning in this world.

    Also, what flavors are the other 5 chakras?

  5. David Alexander said



    This is the example I’ve been telling

    There are a whole lot of girls where I live who continuously shame/degrade other women who act pleasing towards their men and let him make decisions?

    Two good friends of mine are from Russia and are among the brightest colleagues I’ve ever had. We’re talking 4.0 GPA, musical proteges who possess the curiosity of a man and have excelled in upper level science and math courses easy peazy lemon squeezy. And they are pretty strong too (physically speaking). They could outwit, outdo, outstrategize, outearn any of their “single lady” counterparts yet they crave submission. Even Ayn Rand porjected her fantasies of loving dominance in the way Francisco Danconia slapped

    The submissive thing is liberating.and helps for a more fulfilling, more exciting, more relaxed, less stressful, complete life.

    The D/S community is FLOURISHING with ambitious accomplished, intelligent businesswomen with their chosen Masters.

    Decisions take a hell of a lot of willpower. And I’ve found that women expend an inordinate amount of energy in:minute affairs. From a perfect image, to stressing about what’s gonna happen with who, to worrying about what will happen to their friends, to trying to figure someone out,, to being attuned to , There is a hell of a lot of noise up there (which reduces Alzheimer in the future) to keeping up with the here and now. The list is endless… And to ADD on top of that the desire to seek knowledge, seek truth, and sharpen the reasoning skills AND make decisiosn (lengthy cognitive process).. all of which require substantial brain glucose and willpower. As a man, I can silence my mind quite easily and have only a few quality thoughts throughout the day.

    So why exhaust the ladies further? Especially if they are intellectually ambitious. They can focus on expressing themselves through a craft, and then radiate and recharge with their men. Take the reins, be kind, be loving, be dominant is what men ought to do.

    Return to the wisdom of the ancients. Stop shaming girls for being pleasing.

    Beautiful and complimentary

  6. Master Dogen said

    Whatever, man. You’re just, like, in denial about how shitty women are. When are you going to wake up and learn to live a grey existence without all your so-called “spiritual love”?

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