Dillon: I don’t think MGTOW avoid intimacy. They simply cannot find intimacy on the terms they are looking for so they have given up. (So have many women). One cannot go on strike if one isn’t even employed. Involuntary MGTOW is actually men sent their own way.
I just woke up from a dream, in which I was dealing with my BPD ex-wife, only now as a more mature man with more psychological capability to deal with a nutbar like that while still maintaining hand and not getting flustered.
My young self would have been best advised to GMOW and avoid her, as she was a bad risk/reward.
And on waking I reflected on how dealing with women in general can be like that. The learning curve is steep. We learn by mistakes, as well as successes, and the mistakes can be painful and costly. Becoming a person who can maintain hand and enjoy dealing with women is a process that includes a lot of getting fucked over. And the process is never complete.
I like the approach of the PUAs. They define a problem, break it down into manageable parts, and then address each part one by one to find a workable solution. Whereas I can understand that sometimes we are not in a mental, emotional, or financial position deal with women, who are all at least a little bit BPD, at the very least I see no reason why a person who is better off avoiding them won’t just set them aside for now with the thought that when they are older and more all around capable they might be up to the task. Or if not that realize that some OTHER men are up to the task.
But the MGTOW crowd there band together into a support group and re-enforce each others beliefs as a religion. That these beliefs are grounded in facts only solidifies them as set in concrete rigid, and prevents them from looking for a workaround and adapting successfully.
Anyone who has read much of my blog will see many themes that MGTOW crowd talk about brought up. Only here I approach it not from a “don’t women suck, let’s avoid them” position, but from a “here are my experiences, and here’s how I found I could deal with it” approach. For every insurmountable problem the MGTOW found, I found a workable solution.
But that confounds and irritates them, to the point where they become apoplectic. There are no solutions! Only MGTOW is a solution! The first, last, final and only real solution!
The MGTOW solution would have been a good one for my young self attempting a marriage to a hostile wife. Naturally at that age I was incompetent and inexperienced and not yet wise enough in the ways of the world to be able to deal with manipulative women while maintaining the upper hand and composure.
But yet if I’d gone that route, there is no possibility I’d have ever learned the skills that I now practice.
I don’t know if it’s like this for all men, but for me the mental re-organization could not have come about without some profound and destabilizing shifts. The process included horrendous heartbreaks and one full out nervous breakdown. Hell of a learning curve.
My ex drove me to have a nervous breakdown, twenty years ago. I wasn’t capable against her. Whereas nowadays I’d never let myself be drawn into that level of bullshit to begin with. Instead of getting drawn into her dramas I’d treat her like a child, only with much more skill than your average parent. My current self has a whole different set of power-tools for dealing with manipulative psycho chicks. And yes, one of those tools is simply avoiding them.
But how did I get to this point of greater facility? They didn’t teach this stuff in my high school. “Maintaining hand over a BPD, 551″. I had to learn the hard way, through trial and effort, consulting a community of peers and sharing experiences and tips, and using that newly organized information to try again. And again. And so through time and experience and many failures learn how to deal with women in a way that creates enjoyment and satisfaction.
I’m not claiming there is no more drama now, or that the pleasures of women ever becomes entirely cost free. But it is plainly obvious to me that the mountain of advantages of a lifestyle that includes a loving and attentively doting hot and sexy early twenties something girl far outweigh the little piles of scum of the downsides.
Learning to be at that level of skill where a guy can attract and maintain attraction of a hot girl with options and keep her hypnotically under his spell while at the same time refusing to marry her or concede to any of her nest building and baby making instincts is a very, very complicated challenge. Not to be underestimated. A challenge worthy of the brightest and most socially capable among us. Women are masters at manipulating and controlling men. But after time, the capable man can turn the tables and out puppet the puppet master. Even while loving and fucking them.
Can you imagine that? Using your own emotions of feeling loving and bonding IN ORDER to at the same time manipulate another girls feelings? That’s some pretty high level stuff, right? You’d need an extremely fine level of emotional control and a strong sense of personal boundaries to not lose at that game! What kind of life experiences would a man have to go through to be able to learn to do that? To be able to approach emotions as if he were crafting and singing a song – with both detachment and embodied involvement at the same time?
Most men have never even considered the possibility of using their own emotions as a tool. They think emotions are what happens to them. Or that emotions are problematic and to be avoided. Instead we can harness them and play songs with them, and use those songs to manipulate the emotions of those around us. Fall a little bit in love so that others around us fall head over heels.
I realize that nowadays most guys feel that outright manipulation is somehow sick; that it’s not something they want to do. They don’t WANT to have hand in a relationship! They just want to be themselves and be accepted for who they are.
That’s of course a naive and childish view. This real world is a world of unspoken social hierarchy and command. Especially when dealing with women. In order to be effective at dealing with them, there is no option but to know the rules of the game that they play by. To know how they think. They don’t think like men do – not even like men with femininized brains do. It may be painful to contemplate their sick, sick ways, however that’s the only option if one wants to have any facility at all, let alone a winning skill. You play the game by the rules available – you win at their own game of manipulation, only you take it up twelve notches to a whole new level of game that they can’t even comprehend, using all your masculine powers of integration of facts into a big colossal integrated world view to attack them on multiple fronts to manipulate them to feel anything you want them to feel, and do anything you want them to do. Including feeling devotedly in love and acting doting every day in every way.
I don’t want to convert any MGTOWs into a different approach. But I’d be happy if some at least considered that success with women is an option for high aptitude men who devote the time and attention to practice it.