I’m not very familiar with the current thinking in the GTOW crowd, so I’m making my comments based on the few guys I’ve heard from, plus comments here at mgtowforums.com
C’mon, where do you get off judging anyone?
I’m not sure if “judging” people is exactly what I’m doing. You might want to look up attachment in adults and attachment disorder on wikipedia, and see if that resonates at all. I’d be curious.
It is surprising to me that there are men who choose to be asexual, as that strikes me as an anhedonic lifestyle. But the stranger thing to me is how they can’t understand how others would live differently.
I don’t expect to convert anyones beliefs, as this is about emotional satisfaction, however I’m trying to use words to explain to the MGTOW guys why others find their lifestyle as a poor choice for hedonism.
From the Wikipedia article:
Securely attached people tend to agree with the following statements: “It is relatively easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept me.” This style of attachment usually results from a history of warm and responsive interactions with relationship partners. Securely attached people tend to have positive views of themselves and their partners. They also tend to have positive views of their relationships. Often they report greater satisfaction and adjustment in their relationships than people with other attachment styles. Securely attached people feel comfortable both with intimacy and with independence. Many seek to balance intimacy and independence in their relationship.
People with a dismissive style of avoidant attachment tend to agree with these statements: “I am comfortable without close emotional relationships.”, “It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient”, and “I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me.” People with this attachment style desire a high level of independence. The desire for independence often appears as an attempt to avoid attachment altogether. They view themselves as self-sufficient and invulnerable to feelings associated with being closely attached to others. They often deny needing close relationships. Some may even view close relationships as relatively unimportant. Not surprisingly, they seek less intimacy with relationship partners, whom they often view less positively than they view themselves. Investigators commonly note the defensive character of this attachment style. People with a dismissive–avoidant attachment style tend to suppress and hide their feelings, and they tend to deal with rejection by distancing themselves from the sources of rejection (i.e., their relationship partners).
And by the way, most of the commentors at your forum come across as childish trolls. The level of social discourse over there is miles below what you would see on a PUA forum, such as rooshvforum.com.
Which leads me to believe that the lifestyle choice is not much of a choice at all. You guys are basically socially inept, and so have no clue as to how to get women to be in a stable and meaningful love relationship with you. That the commentors find the idea of male dominance being strange proves my point – you guys have no romantic clue.
Which is fine by me. But the weird part is you can’t imagine that wanting intimacy and sex is anything other than a hindrance to a more “free” life. You simply refuse to let that image of emotional and sexual satisfaction into your head.
While I, on the other hand, nearly became a full time monk, have lived like a monk, and have lived like a hermit.
It’s surprising to me that no one on the forum wants to consider that the reasons they have been unable to find healthy and meaningful and positive relationships with women is because he is doing it wrong. And when a guy like me shows an alternate approach, a “red pill” approach, based on masculine dominance, you guys universally decry it.
I’m working to help guys find pleasure, you are working to help guys avoid pain. But my way also avoids most of the pain.
And I understand all the risks about dealing with women, and talk in detail about how to manage them. You guys just assume that any risk is worth no amount of reward. And what’s worse is you give no clue that you are even capable of perceiving what the rewards of being with loving women can even be.
I’d be very interested in seeing photos of the members. I imagine them a bit pudgy and man breasted, lacking in any signs of testosterone, and I imagine the friends they surround themselves with to be similar. It just never occurred to me that grown men would promote an asexual lifestyle, especially without a very strong meditative reason to focus 100% of all available energies to a purpose. And even then, without some community based religious reason, it strikes me as very odd. Ok – now you can say I’m judging you guys. I think something is wrong with your endocrine systems. And judging by your comments section, many of you don’t show any signs of having a testosteronized brain; you are emotional thinkers with a thinking style similar to women. Not enough testosterone since before birth, and a dramatic lack even now.
I would bet real dollars that your average testosterone level is dramatically low, and I’d also wager your average estrogen levels are noticeably high.
Basically, you guys talk as if you are pre-pubescent and have only the most shallow possible understanding of adult sexual relations. Socio-sexual under-development. And from that stance you claim to be in a position of giving advice to expert practitioners of sex and relationship.
Another case of the incompetent being too incompetent to know that they are incompetent. And then trying to lead.