Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

MGTOW and the socially retarded manboobs of the internet

Posted by xsplat on November 7, 2012

I’m not very familiar with the current thinking in the GTOW crowd, so I’m making my comments based on the few guys I’ve heard from, plus comments here at mgtowforums.com

C’mon, where do you get off judging anyone?

I’m not sure if “judging” people is exactly what I’m doing. You might want to look up attachment in adults and attachment disorder on wikipedia, and see if that resonates at all. I’d be curious.

It is surprising to me that there are men who choose to be asexual, as that strikes me as an anhedonic lifestyle. But the stranger thing to me is how they can’t understand how others would live differently.

I don’t expect to convert anyones beliefs, as this is about emotional satisfaction, however I’m trying to use words to explain to the MGTOW guys why others find their lifestyle as a poor choice for hedonism.

From the Wikipedia article:

Secure attachment
Securely attached people tend to agree with the following statements: “It is relatively easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept me.” This style of attachment usually results from a history of warm and responsive interactions with relationship partners. Securely attached people tend to have positive views of themselves and their partners. They also tend to have positive views of their relationships. Often they report greater satisfaction and adjustment in their relationships than people with other attachment styles. Securely attached people feel comfortable both with intimacy and with independence. Many seek to balance intimacy and independence in their relationship.

Dismissive–avoidant attachment

People with a dismissive style of avoidant attachment tend to agree with these statements: “I am comfortable without close emotional relationships.”, “It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient”, and “I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me.” People with this attachment style desire a high level of independence. The desire for independence often appears as an attempt to avoid attachment altogether. They view themselves as self-sufficient and invulnerable to feelings associated with being closely attached to others. They often deny needing close relationships. Some may even view close relationships as relatively unimportant. Not surprisingly, they seek less intimacy with relationship partners, whom they often view less positively than they view themselves. Investigators commonly note the defensive character of this attachment style. People with a dismissive–avoidant attachment style tend to suppress and hide their feelings, and they tend to deal with rejection by distancing themselves from the sources of rejection (i.e., their relationship partners).
And by the way, most of the commentors at your forum come across as childish trolls. The level of social discourse over there is miles below what you would see on a PUA forum, such as rooshvforum.com.

Which leads me to believe that the lifestyle choice is not much of a choice at all. You guys are basically socially inept, and so have no clue as to how to get women to be in a stable and meaningful love relationship with you. That the commentors find the idea of male dominance being strange proves my point – you guys have no romantic clue.

Which is fine by me. But the weird part is you can’t imagine that wanting intimacy and sex is anything other than a hindrance to a more “free” life. You simply refuse to let that image of emotional and sexual satisfaction into your head.

While I, on the other hand, nearly became a full time monk, have lived like a monk, and have lived like a hermit.

It’s surprising to me that no one on the forum wants to consider that the reasons they have been unable to find healthy and meaningful and positive relationships with women is because he is doing it wrong. And when a guy like me shows an alternate approach, a “red pill” approach, based on masculine dominance, you guys universally decry it.

I’m working to help guys find pleasure, you are working to help guys avoid pain. But my way also avoids most of the pain.

And I understand all the risks about dealing with women, and talk in detail about how to manage them. You guys just assume that any risk is worth no amount of reward. And what’s worse is you give no clue that you are even capable of perceiving what the rewards of being with loving women can even be.

I’d be very interested in seeing photos of the members. I imagine them a bit pudgy and man breasted, lacking in any signs of testosterone, and I imagine the friends they surround themselves with to be similar. It just never occurred to me that grown men would promote an asexual lifestyle, especially without a very strong meditative reason to focus 100% of all available energies to a purpose. And even then, without some community based religious reason, it strikes me as very odd. Ok – now you can say I’m judging you guys. I think something is wrong with your endocrine systems. And judging by your comments section, many of you don’t show any signs of having a testosteronized brain; you are emotional thinkers with a thinking style similar to women. Not enough testosterone since before birth, and a dramatic lack even now.

I would bet real dollars that your average testosterone level is dramatically low, and I’d also wager your average estrogen levels are noticeably high.

Basically, you guys talk as if you are pre-pubescent and have only the most shallow possible understanding of adult sexual relations. Socio-sexual under-development. And from that stance you claim to be in a position of giving advice to expert practitioners of sex and relationship.

Another case of the incompetent being too incompetent to know that they are incompetent. And then trying to lead.

19 Responses to “MGTOW and the socially retarded manboobs of the internet”

  1. David Alexander said

    Xsplat kind of random question here.

    First of all, I have to say thanks a bunch. It’s clear as daylight that you are truly a human being that loves and loves greatly. I’ve taken all your advice to heart and followed many trains of thought… (the way Muslims treat their women, the way Christians treat their women, the aloof PUA, the cold, detached player, the MGTOW, and I can say that your mentality seems the most… “natural”)

    Anywho? I’m a young guy.

    Is it possible, to boost your test to extraordinary levels, disregard anything women. Stay horny all the time.. but use chikung to transmute your energies into financial, phyiscal, linguistic endeavors?

    And then get intimate in your 30s.

    If so what techniques would you recommend? I’m broke and I can’t visit a teacher.. so I do this

    Wake up:
    Head over outside to the park (near the forest)
    Belllow Breathe
    Rub the kidneys, rub the lower belly, the testes,
    Open the Macrocosmic Orbit
    Circulate 36 times
    Do the Wu-Chi Energy of breath
    and then chant Han-Dil with the Kundalini, trying to activate chakras
    Then focus on chi on the floor, on the head, and on the hands.

    yeah its all a mess but right now

    • xsplat said

      That sounds great. I’m sure you’ll learn a lot, and hope that one day it may happen that I’ll be learning from you.

    • Wudang said

      Just doing regular standing meditation in a position like wuji or embrace the tree will take you far. I have been told that if you stand for 45 minutes a day over the long term you will get ALL the main benefits of qigong alchemy. This means eventual first level of enlightenment and then deepening levels after that, it means the whole energetic buildup of filling the dan tines etc. it means the body transformation of your bone marrow and tendons, it means amazing control over your body, it means you will become flexible. You want get all of the alchemical benefits to the same degree as if you do a specialized practice for it. For example doing some sort of tending changing qigong or bone marrow qigong will give you a deeper benefit, but just standing will give you the basic most essential body transformation process that will make your body function differently than normal peoples bodies. So, as far as 45 minutes of time spent it is extremely useful.

      You can also check out primordial qigong as thought by Andrew Fretwell and Michael Winn. It is very powerful, very balancing and sets of the deep alchemical process. That form combined with sitting or standing meditation will take you far. Buy Winns DVD it is worth the investment. THe video Fretwell has on youtube shows all the moves but they are to be repeated 4 times in a pattern that he does not directly show. I can explain it to you another day when I have more time so you can learn it all from that video.

      Do some inner smiling throughout the day.

  2. snoeperd said

    While the social discourse on your blog is better it doesn’t help you call yourself an expert of sexual practices. How did you figure out you had this expert status btw?

    • xsplat said

      A person can become an expert in any field through study and practice. Expertise can be measured by performance and real world outcomes, and is somewhat subject to validation through a community of like minded peers.

      For sexual expertise, a person can look to the community of esoteric daoist sex artists, such as you can find at http://www.thetaobums.com/. Sexual outcomes of course include a long history being in the top 10 percent of many lovers partners, plus making girls regularly come and come who had never come before, from virgins all the way up to women who had been with hundreds of men. Relationship outcome can be measured by a long and sustained history of attracting women several points above the man in attractiveness and maintaining happy relationships with them where they show all the signs being deeply in love, including daily devotionals. Bonus expert status if the girls pine for the man for years afterwards. Very high expert status is doing so with multiple girls at the same time. A community of peers for the attraction phase of dealing with women would be the rooshvforum.com, and some there have more in depth knowledge that can be applied to longer term relationships.

      I realize that people prefer a more “humble”, egalitarian approach, and proclaiming that there even are experts in the fields of sex and relationship is going to piss guys off. “The nerve!”. But that’s the mindset of the incompetent – not even realizing that there are levels of competence. “We are all equal, just different! Every one has a right to a valid opinion!”

      Girls tell me all the time that most men can’t fuck. Most men deeply suck at sex. And relationship too! Not sucking at those two things is going to make a huge difference, in terms of relationship approach and satisfaction.

      There are precious few resources for men to learn to not suck at relationships. The funny thing is, that this resource that I provide to people, where I explain about using a masculine dominance to maintain hand and attraction in intimate relationships is maligned as being pathologically controlling by even those who have completely given up on relationships. The doctors cure is too bitter tasting – even for men who show every sign of hating women!

      At this time in our history there seems to almost no longer be a community of peers of the old fashioned relationship arts. I know of Athol Kay and Rollo, but few others with long term relationship skills who have put what they know into words. These arts are nearly lost. And worse than lost – our feminized culture now views the masculine arts of household dominance and maintaining a strong, sexually charged, passionate romantic atmosphere as somehow sick and twisted.

  3. Tom White said

    “C’mon, where do you get off judging anyone?”

    Thats a very feminine criticism, everyone judges especially men

    I wasn’t aware of MGTOW forums, I use the term to mean turning your back on society and its expectations, such as what you’ve done by pursuing your own business and living in Asia

    Caveat: I probably have intimacy issues but I am not MGTOW to avoid women but the opposite

    • Peter South said

      I totally tooled this guy and now he’s crying about it. Haha

      You’re a whiny little mangina.

      BTW that whole giving orders thing you are so proud of is done by every office twat in the country.

      Acting like a cunt doesn’t mean high T.

  4. Wudang said

    Have you read about the grass eaters and herbivores of Japan? Apparently there are huge numbers of them.

    • xsplat said

      I’ve heard about them.

      After spending several years socializing on mens forums that are geared towards understanding women, seduction, and positive masculinity, being introduced to the attitudes of the group at the mgtowforums was a bit unnerving. I’m still a bit freaked out.

      The culture over at the rooshvforum is one of strong personal responsibility for outcomes – if anything they take it a bit too extreme and some go so far as to downplay the effects of looks or money or race. But generally it’s a positive spin – to take charge and make your own world, with no excuses. And generally the culture there is also one that avoids using snark as argument, and has a good level of intellectual rigor.

      But the western grasseaters at the mgtow forum give me a wholly different impression. I can’t know how accurate the impressions are. All I have to work on is the comments there: http://www.mgtowforums.com/forums/mens-general-discussion/11725-5-days-impotence-2.html. But the impressions I’m getting is not just of men with certain beliefs and ego protections and lifestyle strategies, but with certain styles of thinking that are VERY feminine. Using eye rolling as argument, for instance. Making comments such as quoting me and then following it with “Too rich to comment.” Using ad hominem as argument.

      I’m unnerved and freaked out by them because maybe for them their reality holds together pretty well. They are relatively sexually anhedonic, and can’t understand why sex and intimacy matter to others. Added together with the clue of their extreme feminine thinking styles, and it points to an extremely emasculated hormonal system. These are going to be guys the least suited to game, and seduction. For them the sexual market place may actually be a pretty hopeless, lost cause. Which again would be an attitude totally at odds with what the culture at rooshvforum would allow. To make a change from that position would require extra-ordinary willpower and dedication, and probably also testosterone replacement therapy along with rigorous excersise and many other major lifestyle changes. But without the testosterone to begin with, where would they find the drive?

      Just as testosterone feeds a lifestyle that leads to a feedback loop of growing testosterone, so too does the grass eater lifestyle and attitude feed an estrogen cycle.

      And the thinking styles genuinely do point to a low level of testosterone when they were developing in the womb. I’m not just making that up in order to boost my argument through ad hominem. Emotional thinkers are not likely to be able to notice their thinking patterns, but I’m pretty sure most people with stronger reasoning skills who look at their comments can see it. There is a very strong pattern there. From men it’s astounding to have such a concentration of feminine thinking styles. Are tofu and other environmental estrogens fucking up our men, from the very beginnings of their life?

      This is all new to me, and is frinakly a bit freaky.

  5. Peter South said

    Bro I tooled you for being a high E chatty, nerdy little douche, noticed you left that part out.

    The social retard is the guy who writes a whole page to justify himself and talks about endocrinology.

    You’re a dork son.

  6. joe said

    Most men who are in relationships with women are in relationships that are not worth being in, with bitches who are not worth being with.
    Most single women are even worse. The percentage of single women who are fit for a relatitonship with anyone is very small. These are facts. It is laughable that you talk about mgtow men thinking with their emotions because the only men who cant see that the vast majority of women are trash are men like you, emotional thinkers, who don’t want to see the truth. Only weak men pretend that there are many women with value. Don’t get me wrong, a small percentage of women may be worth being with, nearly all of them are taken. Common sense and basic math dictates that what I say is true. What you say is what you want to believe. MGTOW!

    • xsplat said

      “Most men who are in relationships with dogs are in relationships that are not worth being in, with bitches who are not worth being with.
      Most ferile dogs are even worse. The percentage of ferile dogs who are fit for a relatitonship with anyone is very small. These are facts.

      Only weak men pretend that there are many dogs with value. Don’t get me wrong, a small percentage of dogs may be worth being with, nearly all of them are taken.”

      Who is to blame for unruly dogs? The master or the pet?

      Women are to be trained. Watch several episodes of the dog whisperer, then get back to me about how it is the dogs fault for being unruly.

      If you insist on viewing women as equal beings with an independent self identity, then yes, your viewpoint holds together pretty well. They suck.

      But they are not. They are pack animals and only behave well when in submission to a dominant male they respect.

      Be that dominant male, and all the rules change. Your life changes. Your relationships change.

      • Anon said

        Dog whisperer got divorced, so much for his training.

        Be a dominant male? Cool idea bro, just don’t mind the mandatory ride in a police car.

        Rules, life and relationships change? Well of course they will when you end up behind bars.

      • xsplat said

        I don’t see divorce as a failure to be properly dominant. Maybe he wanted to move on? I don’t advocate marriage myself – it’s possible to have an LTR without marriage. Makes moving on much easier. I guess people who want kids do that sort of thing.

        Thanks for the warm wishes. Kiss!

      • Anon said

        “Maybe he wanted to move on?”

        From Dailymail:

        “Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan to pay his wife $400,000 divorce settlement

        It seems The Dog Whisperer star Cesar Millan has been handed a slice of ruff justice by his former wife.

        For he has agreed to pay his spouse of 16 years Ilusión a lump sum of $400,000.

        In addition he will pay her a further $23,000 per month in spousal support and another $10,000 per month in child support for their two sons.

        However it seems the 42-year-old Mexican-born star, who famously tamed Will Smith’s dog, can afford it, as it emerged he earns $170,000 a month.

        Cesar will get one very important thing in return – her silence.

        The court documents, which were seen by TMZ, reveal she will keep any ‘intimate, personal and/or private information about the other party … including details of their personal and/or sexual relationships’ confidential.’

        In addition, it was stated any ‘photograph, film, videotape, recording … which is not commercially available’ must remain private.

        Quite what the nature of this mystery material is was not explicitly stated in the documents.

        Millan and Ilusión decided to bring their marriage to a close in June 2010.

        At the time the pair insisted that they ‘remain caring friends and are fully committed to the co-parenting of our two boys.'”

      • xsplat said


        So the lesson you are taking away from Ceasar’s divorce settlement is what? That marriage in countries with punitive divorce laws is a bad idea, or that being intimate with women is a bad idea?

        I’m glad that I don’t want to have children, and am content to live outside of North America. What a quandary it would be to want both, in this legal environment.

        I propose that a man can increase his odds of having a healthy and satisfying long term partnership, but I don’t claim any magic bullet answers. It’s a risk to marry someone, no matter how good your LTR game.

        Still, it’s going a bit overboard to make polemic claims that all marriages are bound to end badly. I’ve seen some happy and successful couplings – some within my own family. I’m not a gambling man myself, and wouldn’t advocate the roulette wheel as an investment strategy, but some people have been known to carefully minimize their risks and invest well and have very positive relationship outcomes. It’s more than just one sided to see only one side – it’s willfully shutting out possibilities because they require a painful amount of personal growth to achieve.

        In case you are interested in my stance on dealing with women, it’s to enjoy intimacy while minimizing risk. Not eliminating – minimizing. For many people the rewards far outweigh the risks – by hundreds to one. Maybe not for you, but to deny that other people get immense satisfaction out of dealing with women is a pure example of solipsism. And your insistence that risks can’t be managed (by for instance avoiding marriage, screening girls, maintaining attraction, keeping income anonymous and maintaining location independent income, and so on) is worse than polemic; it’s fanatical.

      • Anon said

        Partners who want to be dominated mainly want it that way so that they can play the victim when they are done with the dominant partner and/or just want to make some quick bucks. The more dominant you are than the partner, the more (s)he can play the victim followed by more (s)he can get away with when dealing with legal authorities. The dominated partner is in control the whole time while giving the dominant partner the illusion that (s)he is.

      • xsplat said

        Where did your last comment come from? Are you just making shit up?

        By the way, I don’t follow celebrity gossip, but is it assumed that the tape in question is of Ceasar butt-fucking the pool boy?

        And I’m not getting the idea that you want to interact here. You didn’t answer any of my questions. Seems you are just looking for a space to preach your MGTOW way agenda.

        If so, then goodbuy.

      • Anon said

        Last comment posted the wrong place, I’ll try again…

        I don’t know about Cesar’s case, but this seems to me like the typical: “got legally raped by a dominated partner who played the victim” case. If you can find out what it was all about feel free to do so.

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