Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

Are there sexual experts? Relationship experts?

Posted by xsplat on November 7, 2012

While the social discourse on your blog is better it doesn’t help you call yourself an expert of sexual practices. How did you figure out you had this expert status btw?

A person can become an expert in any field through study and practice. Expertise can be measured by performance and real world outcomes, and is somewhat subject to validation through a community of like minded peers.

For sexual expertise, a person can look to the community of esoteric daoist sex artists, such as you can find at thetaobums.com. Sexual outcomes of course include a long history being in the top 10 percent of all the scores of lovers partners, plus making girls regularly come and come who had never come before, from virgins all the way up to women who had been with hundreds of men. Relationship outcome can be measured by a long and sustained history of attracting women several points above the man in attractiveness and maintaining happy relationships with them where they show all the signs being deeply in love, including daily devotionals. Bonus expert status if the girls pine for the man for years afterwards. Very high expert status is doing so with multiple girls at the same time. A community of peers for the attraction phase of dealing with women would be the rooshvforum.com, and some there have more in depth knowledge that can be applied to longer term relationships.

I realize that people prefer a more “humble”, egalitarian approach, and proclaiming that there even are experts in the fields of sex and relationship is going to piss guys off. “The nerve!”. But that’s the mindset of the incompetent – not even realizing that there are levels of competence. “We are all equal, just different! Every one has a right to a valid opinion!”

Girls tell me all the time that most men can’t fuck. Most men deeply suck at sex. And relationship too! Not sucking at those two things is going to make a huge difference, in terms of relationship approach and satisfaction.

There are precious few resources for men to learn to not suck at relationships. The funny thing is that this resource that I provide to people, where I explain about using a masculine dominance to maintain hand and attraction in intimate relationships, is maligned as being pathologically controlling by even those who have completely given up on relationships. The doctors cure is too bitter tasting – even for men who show every sign of hating women!

At this time in our history there seems to almost no longer be a community of peers of the old fashioned relationship arts. I know of Athol Kay and Rollo, but few others with long term relationship skills who have put what they know into words. These arts are nearly lost. And worse than lost – our feminized culture now views the masculine arts of household dominance and maintaining a strong, sexually charged, passionate romantic atmosphere as somehow sick and twisted.

Men have desperately lost their way, to the point now that when they confront a viable strategy for having high success with women they see it as aberrant and sick. If there was ever a need for experts, it’s now.

3 Responses to “Are there sexual experts? Relationship experts?”

  1. Mr. C said

    This begs the question.

    What have women told you on how they want to be fucked?

    • xsplat said

      Other than my ex-wife, who was a sexual back seat driver when I was with her at age 24, I can’t remember any girls asking for any sexual adjustments.

      I think great sex has a strong emotional component. Which is why role play can be so powerful. It’s not just about technique and staying power; I’ve heard girls tell stories about being jackhammered for a long time while they daydream and stare up at the ceiling. They also need to feel strongly emotionally engaged.

      • Mr. C said

        Aha, ok.

        Along these lines, I have a theory about the (sometimes elusive) gspot.

        My theory is that when a woman is highly “turned on” both emotionally and then subsequently, physically; the level of excitement, physiologically, anatomically and emotionally causes the tissues of the pussy and clit area to get super aroused and sensitive with a high level of blood supply. (Think of this as an epic raging hard boner in a guy about to pound some sweet honey).

        The tissues in the gspot area then get easier to diiferentiate from the surrounding tissues and therefore … wallah … you find her g-spot.

        Though; therein lies a probelm. The man is “responsible” for the woman’s level of emotional and physical excitement; unless she is making an effort and taking some responsibility for her own pleasure. Question is; how many woman do that?

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