I’ve been writing for years my disagreement with the popular conception of being aloof and ideas that orbit around the concept of being outcome independent. Guys are prone to thinking that showing interest and being into the girl is somehow an obstacle to seduction. I’ve made it my personal pet peeve and mission to correct this false thinking, and I’ve tried to introduce an alternate strategy; love at first sight game.
Now I’m discovering other men have independently come to the same conclusion. Only these guys are the real deal; master pick up artists of the highest caliber. I’ll let them make my point with authority.
In terms of pick up, sexual state needs a separate post all for itself. It’s critical, and should underly every interaction you have when you talk to a woman.
It seems strange to me but I think a lot of men are actually afraid of the vagina. You can see it when they talk to a girl. It’s either
Overly logical or boring
“Gamey” – the words are uttered to make it appear sexual, but it’s not!
The question is – do you actually want to fuck women, or not? Or do you want the validation of your peers / friends? Do you want your ego to be satisfied that you are “good with girls” or “taking steps to sort out this part of your life”
Forget all that…You have to get in touch with your sexuality. Raw, untinctured. Harness the power of your natural instincts!
Do you believe that men and women get together because they feel desire and passion for each other?
Or is it about common interests / hobbies? Instinctively, which one do you think it is?
Back in the day I used to go to sexually charged clubs a lot…When I started out at age 18 I used to just walk up to women in nightclubs and start kissing them immediately..Sometimes 6 or 7 in a night..Not saying a word. It cuts right through to the chase, cuts out all the nonsense. I knew straight away that this is what seduction was all about.
Now that I am older I still have the same belief but have refined it..But I know that this sexual, raw element needs to be there. It has to be the MOTIVATION to talk to her in the first place.
On a practical level, how do you begin to tap into this?
1:/ Do not masturbate. This is an old chestnut but it has the effect after a few days of making you horny, simple.
2:/ Start eating good wholesome foods, cutting out alcohol, sleeping well. Get exercise.
3:/ When you see a woman you like and want to approach…Blank your mind of everything and FOCUS ON HER. Focus on her beauty. Look at her ass..Watch it move…Imagine that ass in front of you and your cock sliding in and out of her pussy..Look at her tits..Imagine sucking on them…Imagine her riding you with them bouncing around and a look of ecstacy on her face with her head thrown back..
Feel the desire running through your body and then approach…For gods sake she’s a WOMAN..Don’t you want to take her to bed?
Do you know the best compliment you can give a woman, is to desire her..But actually mean it..Just raw desire. Like a child that sees a toy and wants it, grabs for it. The child feels no other conflicting emotions about it, doesn’t worry about what it is thinking..It just WANTS THAT TOY!
You have to try to be the same about a woman..
If you can, spend a bit of time just looking at her and appreciating her, putting yourself in this state before you approach. Use that desire to galvanise you to action. It is more overpowering than any negative emotion associated with approaching (e.g. fear etc)
4:/ Practice putting yourself in this sexual state as often as you can. Envision scenarios like the one above throughout your day..Revel in it! Get used to thinking like this, feeling this raw, animal state. It is your RIGHT as a man to feel this way and it is a GOOD thing!
This is not a technique, it is not a piece of technology..This is what real men do when they talk to women.
Don’t be afraid of the vagina.
He continues in the comments with:
In my case though, I only ever act out and say what I am feeling in that present moment witohut worrying about being deadpan or emotionless. Because to me, there is no greater joy than being moved and affeccted by a womans beauty and feminine essence. HOWEVER – when I say “you’re beautiful” – it is in admiration, in appreciation – but I never think of her as being above me or unobtainable. I say “you’re beautiful” in a way that shows that she is affecting me (a big turn on for a woman) – with emotion in my voice, but the subcommunication – where it is coming from – is that I want her and have no fear in pursuing her, and do not view her as being above me.
So – don’t be afraid to show emotion – in my view so called “Pick Up” advice is dead wrong on this – appreciate women for their beauty – but try to get used to the idea, build it into your psyche, that they are not remote, unobtainable creatures.
That’s why I wrote posts like “Desire and loving women” and this post – because it starts to align you with your natural instincts and filters out all the crap from dating advice, partents, media, society etc. A good watchword for life in general – “Question Everything”
Next I’m going to reblog the entire guest post from Krauser that was recently posted on Roosh’s blog.
Most of Roosh’s regular readers will be quite aware of his take on indirect game as outlined in Day Bang. The hairy one has been kind enough to offer me a platform to discuss how to take your experience in indirect game and try direct. I’ll focus on the differences because a lot of the basics are shared by both styles.
You must be a master of your intent. Direct game is about recognizing, embracing and making a weapon of your sexual intent. It’s not enough to tell a girl you like her; you have to be utterly congruent with your desire so that when you step up to her and look into her eyes she doesn’t see any hesitancy, contradiction or apathy. It’s the purity of focus and self-belief which will be conveyed through your subcommunication and offset the (mistaken) theory that letting the girl know your interest before she shows interest is a weakness.
Mastering your intent requires much inner game work but I’ll reduce it to these three elements:
1. Empty your logical forebrain of all the feminist-beta bullshit telling you what women want and what a real man is. Most readers here will be quite far along that road. If you have any doubts, ready Aubrey Andelin’s Man
of Steel and Velvet. A poorly-trained forebrain will cockblock your intent.
2. Deeply introspect about what type of women you like.
You can’t be going half-cocked into a direct approach thinking “she’s alright, I suppose I wouldn’t mind fucking her” or you are bringing contradiction into your intent. Elderly opening in a supermarket is different because you aren’t putting your intent out early and thus there’s no contradiction between your intent and your behavior. In direct game, when you stop a girl you must know she’s the kind of girl you like and genuinely feel the pull to try
to fuck her. No sitting on the fence.
3. Accept it’s ultimately a numbers game. You’ll only be able to get girls who are available and into you. This primer will show you how to put your best foot forward to maximize your chances of getting them, but it won’t turn a No Girl into a Yes Girl. Think of it as turning over stones…. here’s an interesting-looking girl, let’s find out if she likes me. Rejection happens a lot but it’s nothing, she’s just screening herself out for you.
Conquering Approach Anxiety
Most guys who practice indirect game will have found themselves a new comfort zone where they don’t really have to put themselves on the line until they’ve received interest, a couple of gulps on the
big bait, and are thus ready to go with a Statement of Interest. You must shock yourself out of this.
The frame of indirect game is weaving a web, painting a picture, conducting a symphony, while direct game is steamrolling the girl with confidence and masculine presence. You can’t take the frame of one and succeed with the other. So, knowing you are going in harder and faster, how do you control the approach anxiety jitters?
Remember the Bonnie Tyler song Holding Out For A Hero? Women are crying out for a real man of depth and character to sweep them off their feet. Girls go around chasing their tails until a man (figuratively) grabs them by the nose and leads them off. They are tired of wishy-washy pushovers. Successful intimacy
is the highest priority in every woman’s life and thus any time she meets a man who may be good enough to meet this need she will make the time to find out.
Don’t worry about “she looks busy” or “I’m interfering with her day”. She wants you to interfere. The whole act of being a man is to penetrate her day, her mind, her body. She’s on your side, hoping you are that guy she’s been waiting for all this time.
For beginners, avoid using direct game in “ambush scenarios”. This means any situation where the girl can’t get away from you without losing something (e.g. at a coffee shop table, waiting at a bus stop, sitting on a train). Direct game can be done in these scenarios but requires far more finesse. Stick to the core direct game sets—a lone woman walking somewhere.
Choose a woman who turns your head. You must feel the “blood bubble” where your whole body is telling you open that girl.
If you find yourself intellectualizing, looking twice, wondering “Is she hot?” then it’s not the girl for you. Your intent must be pure so she has to, from the available evidence, fit your idea of your type of girl that you previously introspected.
Generally I let a girl walk past me before I open but it’s not rigid. Let her walk, count to three, then jog after her. You need to be raising your state and loosening your social inhibition as you catch up so make your jog loose and playful. Pretend you are thinking of a private joke so a half smile or smirk crosses your face. Look at her ass, watch her walk, feel the desire to fuck her. Think what you could do to her if she was naked and bent over your sofa.
As you catch up, pull to one side and leave a couple of feet space as you get overtake her. Turn your head and look at her, getting into her peripheral vision a few steps before you turn, cut across and stop in front of her. You must stop in front. Imagine she is a train on a track. You want to be straddling the track. You fully intend to command this woman’s attention. Commit to it. Your whole body is showing the same purity of intent as the words about to come out of your mouth. Put out a hand in a gently commanding Stop motion, look her dead in the eye, and smirk. Then looking at her the whole time, deliver the opener. Your body language and eye contact are what will freeze her to the spot, not the words.
Through your introspection you should already have a good idea what you want in a woman and through your target selection she should fit this. Therefore you can come out directly and tell her what this is. I usually suggest guys try this structure:
- Mild Compliment
- Breakdown (2 complimentary, 1 tease)
It all happens in about fifteen seconds and is easily personalized. For London, which is full of the foreign girls I
chase, I concentrate on her nationality, such as:
Hi (S). I want to tell you something (PF). I was just over there and I literally just saw you (R) and wanted to say you look quite nice (MC). Very Spanish (A). It’s you big black hair, dark eyes, and weird fashion (B).
When the nationality is obvious but I’m a foreigner, such as my recent trip to Croatia, then I can still mention it, such as:
Hi (S). How good is your English? (PF) I’m here on holiday and I’ve been noticing something about the women here (R). You are a real woman (MC). You exactly fit my image of a Croatian girl (A). It’s your long straight hair, elegant fashion, and funny serious look on your face (B).
Often the content of the opener will come to you as you see the girl such as a smile as she walks by, a hair toss, a serious expression, how she’s dressed, or how she walks. Whatever you feel is what you work with because purity of intent and head-to-toe congruence is what carries you through. Make your assumption and then feed three things back to her that you can see, the last one being a mild tease.
Hi (S) Can I just say something real quick? (PF) I was just sitting over there when you walked past and totally turned my head (R). You have a great feminine walk (MC). I’d guess you are a proper woman (A). You’ve got that soft walk, your hips swaying from side to side, a bit of a too-cool-for-school pout on your face (B).
Bridging To A Conversation
If you’ve opened well and she’s at least theoretically available to you (i.e. not married, reasonably attracted) then you must bridge into a real conversation. Failure here will lead to her smiling, saying thank you and then walking away because you didn’t subcommunicate that you intend her to stay. Hopefully your three observations will give her something to work with and respond to. If not, you’ll have to plow a little.
Accept that in the beginning the weight of responsibility is on you to create something out of nothing. She takes time to open up socially and she knows this is a pickup so she requires you to show a little of yourself in making things happen. It’s a chance to show your social skills so embrace it. Roosh likes rambling so if you have a good ramble bring it in but crucially make it all about her. Follow the 90/10 rule that regardless of who is doing the talking, the conversation is about her. Day Bang
already gives advice on how to ramble so I needn’t go into detail here and will instead discuss meta issues. Namely:
1. Hold your frame that it is perfectly normal to stop a girl on the street and talk to her. If you fully expect her to stay and talk, she will fall into your frame. This is her chance to meet you, a chance to find successful intimacy with a bold confident man. You aren’t sold, you are merely interested in what you’ve seen so far and wish to find out more. This screening frame is consistent with the 90/10 rule where you are finding out about her.
2. Use your eye contact and slow vocal tone to build the Love Bubble. After a few minutes she’ll forget where she was going. In a perfectly executed street stop a girl will lose all track of time. Her prior direction gets squashed by the direction you put on the interaction.
3. The first few minutes are light and flirty, building the vibe and injecting energy into the interaction. Once she’s giving back and opening up you can dial that down and get more real.
4. You are gradually mastering her, overwhelming her with masculine dominance, and leading her by the nose into your world. Once you are about ten minutes in and she’s passing your compliance tests, telling you about herself, and giving interest, it’s time to move for the instant date. As a rule of thumb always insta-date to the nearest suitable location within direct line of sight. Don’t worry about perfect locations, you just want to get her momentum moving with you and the first drink ordered (to thus settle into the first date style frame). I use some variations of this transition:
(Looks at watch) Look. I’m enjoying this. I’ve got a bit of time. You’ve got ten minutes, right? Cool, let’s go get a coffee over there (point to cafe).
Then start moving that way so she falls in line. If she wobbles, restate “Look, it’s ten minutes”. If she gives a real “no” then counter with “Okay, we’ll do it another day when we’ve got more time” (pull out phone, take number).
Once on the instadate, treat it like a first date but where the girl is slightly more nervous.
It’s important to understand that in day game you are encountering girls in their natural environment, their daily
lives. This has an up and a downside. The main downside is the girls are not self-selecting for availability like in nightclubs. Such places act as a magnet for girls who are available and horny and thus have a far higher proportion of them than in the street. This is why the mentality of turning over stones is important, so you don’t take it personally when many of the girls have serious boyfriends and are unavailable.
The big upside is also the fact you are encountering girls in a real environment. You see them as they really are and you know what you’re getting. There’s none of the fake nightclub persona that a girl will put on (e.g. a bitch shield) or friends to deal with. There are no distractions, just the real girl being her real self in ready-made isolation. This is particularly appealing to introverts such as myself who want to communicate authentically and directly as soon as possible.
Many guys ask what is a good success ratio? Well, how long is a piece of string? If you can find girls that you really like then as a beginner you’ll be doing ok if twenty approaches nets you….
- 1 date
- 3 numbers
- 5 good conversations and 5 awkward conversations
- 10 fairly quick blowouts
But these are just numbers I pulled out of my arse because there are so many variables. If you approach girls no better-looking than you are, or conceal your intent, then you’ll get less blowouts and more flakey numbers and dates to nowhere. Conversely, if you push it hard and chase prime totty expect far more blowouts but you’ll occasionally turn up a hot date that other guys deem out of your class.
There can be value to the concepts of being aloof and being outcome independent. It’s just that those terms capture in their gravity lots of flotsam and bullshit, and become so polluted with meanings that they become a garbled obstacle to clarity. Aloof starts to mean being an anhedonic droid who isn’t hard for the girl and doesn’t project sexual hunger. Being outcome independent gains connotations of being disinterested in the woman and being incapable of forming emotional bonds.
Your emotions are not an obstacle to seduction. They are the tools that you use for seduction.
Update: Commentors have mentioned to me that plenty of other PUAs, going way back, have a similar attitude. Let’s collect links to some of their teachings.
We’ll start with Zan: http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?t=1338