It’s fine to have some emotional sensitivity and high affect, as long as you also have high expectations and high boundaries. If you are always winning at the game of hand, you don’t lose by showing interest and affection.

Affection and interest are only a sign of weakness if you are generally unbalanced and weak. Correctly supported, sensitivity is a strength.

Now, you’ll rarely find a sensitive man with strong boundaries who is an expert at maintaining hand. Such men have a great advantage over men who can only play it either aloof, or only play it sensitive.

The guy who can rock her world emotionally and also tell her to shut the fuck up wins.

The problem is that sensitive guys have a difficult time saying stuff like in this video:

But there are times when such outbursts are called for. Even to your girl. We have these emotions for a reason; they were evolutionarily useful to our fore-bearers. They are just as useful today. A balance of sensitivity and dominance of all flavors will tame all of the girl.

A man might think that talking trash at his girl would lead to an emotional disconnect between the two of you, but your relationship is not one between two men. As she is a woman she is hearing your dominance, she is hearing that you care enough about her to be angry. She is hearing you trying to correct her shitty behavior. It’s intimate, and leads to greater bonding.

The girl might be cool enough that you don’t need to go to this extreme, but you have to at least be able to. There can’t be any resistance to any of this. And sooner or later, boundaries will be tested, and you’ll need these emotional reactions in your tool kit. It can’t be your go to response, or it won’t have shock value anymore. You use such drama as punctuation points in your pleasant emotional flow, and only as called for by the girls actions. And girls are going to call for it. It’s what they do. So we have to do what we do.

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