1) Always be giving her commands. Commands to serve your needs, such as “make me breakfast” and commands to serve her needs. If she says “I’m tired”, and starts to lie down to rest, affectionately say “take a sleep”. Spin her decision into your command.
2) Tell her what to wear, both around the house and when she accompanies you out.
Xsplat, question…. How do you follow up on rule 1 and 2 if she doesnt do what you are told? You bark a command and she doesn’t follow up, or says something like “yeah right”… Do you go into rage? How would you deal with it? Thanks!
No, rage is to be used sparingly, and it’s best if used unpredictably as well.
If she won’t wear what you want, you can tell her “Then I won’t go out with you. If you are going to be around me you’ve got to look like a woman”.
Ideally you’ll get to a place where she follows your orders because it makes her feel good inside. It won’t feel like an imposition from outside of herself that is going against her will, but it will feel like you are helping her to please you, which is an expression of her love for you.
To get there will be different for each girl. My current girl was a slow learner. At first she used to ask ME to cook HER breakfast! I didn’t use anger with her much at first. I justs refused her requests with a laugh, and slowly introduced her to my expectations. At first I’d let her order us take-out. Later got her to try a few meals. I introduced her to grocery shopping by going with her sometimes. Later I’d have her go alone. If her cooking was good I praised it, if it sucked I wouldn’t eat it. If she brought me bad food I’d tell her that it made me feel bad, like she didn’t properly care for me. And again, always praise for good food. The idea is to make her feel good about what she’s doing, that she’s fulfilling an important household duty that you appreciate. And even if not praising her directly, just embody praise. Embody warm happiness to be near her.
“Yeah right” is not a response I’ve gotten, and I’m not sure how I’d react. Perhaps I’d just keep a stony face and stare at her, or repeat to her in earnestness “Ya. Right”. If I were to get such a reaction it would be only at the very beginning of her training, as later she will be accustomed to doing everything you say. It would mean she’s not yet taken on that relationship to you of being doting and following orders. You can’t really force that out of her, although you can have boundaries and tell her that this is the way it’s going to be, take it or leave it. The progression is a bit of an art form, tailored to the girl.
Just start small. Sometimes I say “Can you help me?” before I ask her to go make me a carrot juice or something. Other girls prefer a much harsher approach, to be treated a little rough. “Go make me a carrot juice”. Either way it can’t feel like a request to you – it should feel like you are giving her an opportunity to do her household devotionals. You should just assume that she wants to please you, and that this is the way girls do that sort of thing. And if she doesn’t realize that yet, it’s just ignorance on her part, and your plan is to make a woman out of her. You should feel that it’s for the betterment of the woman. And it is.
You know how when you go grocery shopping with children in tow, when you unload the car and come back to the house, you are supposed to give even the smallest child a bag to carry? Even though that 3 year old is useless at toting stuff and is lazy to do so, you have to push them take on their portion of the household duties. Then they feel like they are a part of the team, doing their bit.
It’s the same for domestic help. This is especially true if the man is earning the income and it’s a live in situation. He has his specialty of labor, and she has hers. It’s his job to tell her what to do to help him do his job. Make me a meal. Go buy me this medicine. Go buy me a hard drive and a punching bag. She will feel the same as that small child does. Not that she’s under the control of an authoritarian boss, but that she’s doing her part for the family. It will feel good inside to do so. As if it’s an act of devotion that expresses what is welling up in her heart – an eager urge to please, a sense of mutual purpose, and a feeling of belonging.
You can’t exactly force that out of a girl. You just give her many opportunities to see it that way. Start slow, and ramp it up.
The woman following orders is a sign of her love for you. In that way you can assume that it’s her job, and that you only date women who do that, but you can’t demand it. Love me! You have to tease and cajole compliance out of her. The basis of it all is the warmth that you feel together. She needs to crave that warmth, to respect it and even in a way pray to it. A love song should be inside her at all times.
It’s from that place of mutual affection that she gets her opportunities to show affection to you in her actions. You command her in your own way and style that you have together. On the outside it might be exactly this “Bitch, make me a carrot juice”. But on the inside its “I know you really love me. This is our little dance we play to express that love.”
Women can be like puppy dogs. They want to please. Getting them to be that way takes a little talent and art and patience.