As evidenced by the wide display of genetically influenced predispositions that make up all the competing elements of human societies, there are a great many strategies that “work”.
If you read one or two game blogs, forums, or writers, you’ll come away with the impression that the code has been cracked, and that the best way to get a woman to drop her panties is known. See the first paragraph.
It’s known that the same area of the brain that is active during obsessive compulsive episodes is activated when we are in the initial stages of love. I’ve had periods before and during puberty of having mild OCD. And I’ve been compulsively romantic since I first cried out for nipple.
A lot of the advice in the game community is how to stop being needy. To spin plates and get past one-itis. To be able to feign aloofness, or better yet to truly not care about a particular woman at all.
That advice is one sided, and not suitable for all temperaments. There are other solutions to the problems that come from excessive emotional investment. Sometimes our deficits are not deficits at all. They just need a little support in other areas to come to fruition as our greatest strengths.
“We just clicked from the get go. That happens, and I structure my life so that it can happen often.”
What do you mean you structure your life so that you click? Is it your geographical location, finances, or the way you think and act?
It has always been my predisposition to seek great intimacy. I had my first girlfriend at age four, “married” two different girls at age six, held a knife up to my heart ready to commit suicide over a pretty nine year old classmate for whom I had an obsessive desire to lick her face when I was nine, and had some sort of love interest every year since then. Well, since the age of four actually. Age three, according to my Mom, but I can’t remember that first girl.
I’ve had the same problems from wanting romance that most of us have had, however rather than get around that problem by no longer seeking intimacy, I’ve taken on solutions that allow me to maintain it. The usual masculine frame solutions that are commonly talked about in male forums.
But what isn’t talked about much is maintaining the ability to bond. We lament that sluts become cold hearted, and some men do point out that they fall in love less and less, and eventually not at all. That’s what I’m talking about; maintaining the ability to feel. We have to be conscious about that.
Our personalities are as neuroplastic as our neurons, and change according to the habits of what we do. Making it a habit to fuck without intimacy makes it more likely that next time you will fuck without intimacy. And the converse. I’ve never heard anyone disagree that the number one repeatable lifetime peak experience is having great sex with a woman who you are in mutual love with. Nothing feels better, and nothing even comes close to feeling as good. Therefore it’s a no brainer that to maximize hedonism and pleasure in life a person should aim to constantly be in love with and fucking very attractive women who love him.
Being able to do that is much about a habit of mind. An openness to feeling the heartbreaks and joys and dramas and conflicts that inevitably come with ecstatic communions.
What most of us do, work really, really hard to do, is to stop feeling pain. Just stop it. By any and all means necessary.
But that winds up shutting down our ability to feel. Period.
A lot of my Buddhist mindfulness trainings centered around being open to experience. I took on some practices of my own, such as letting myself feel unrequited love. My chest sometimes felt as big as the room. The girl in this blog article told me during our date that I have “a very, very big heart. Very big.”
I don’t do unrequited love any more, as now I try to just change the channel. However that training was helpful. I can choose to be open.
And now I can also choose to be closed. The manly arts are a needed complement to the empathetic arts. And vice versa.
So, I structure my life such that I have access to pretty young women who are great at sex and are prone to romantic attachment with a father figure older man, and I’m careful to maintain my ability to feel all the colours and musical styles and dances that these relationships can bring. I make life a celebration, and try to not get too distracted from that celebration.
This attitude is really very simple. There is nothing profound about it. Probably everyone who has had a near death experience has it. There is no time left for anything other than just enjoying life now. It’s very seductive, and believe me when I say that many women the world over are happy to just get on with it and enjoy life if you have this attitude.
Of course, not without a fight. You’ll have to tame them. But women do want to be tamed.
I know, I know, not western girls. I still don’t believe that. My intuition is that the problem lies with western men, not women. Which is what you’d expect, as we really don’t have the necessary training available to tame women in the countries where we grow up. It takes extra-ordinary measures to be able to tame those extra-ordinarily feral cunts.