From the rooshv forum, a common question. How to be aloof and yet show enough interest to move things forward?

I am naturally aloof and in the three bars i regularly frequent, I notice that my aloof demeanour gets the attention of a few of the prettiest girls/women. The problem is, having got their intrigue, how can I make progress? If I acknowledge their interest in me and break cover, the spell seems to be over. Any ideas on how to handle this?

I’ve seen different styles work. I know some people rely heavily on asshole game. Some swear that being aloof is the cornerstone of their attraction. But I’ve seen different styles work.

Being aloof won’t be congruent with everyone’s energy levels and interests. A high energy guy oozing passion will have no interest in feigning disinterest. Nor does he have to. I’ve seen a guy literally run girls down, stop them, stare in their face with love and intense interest, and fuck them the same night. Day after day. We were travelling on Dead tour together, and he was a machine. No one would ever, EVER use the word aloof in the same sentence as his name.

And a low energy guy that isn’t projecting high value may as well be an aloof wallflower.

Don’t project neediness. If you absolutely must throw the baby out with the bathwather, then throw away. Throw the bathtub away. Become Mr. Spock. Have no emotions at all.

Did you know that when you play the piano, if you only use the black keys, everything you touch will “work”? That’s don’t fuck up game. But you can’t aim out of your physical attractiveness league using don’t fuck up game.

I’ve always considered the word aloof to be too ambiguous to be helpful.

People tend to think it means don’t let the girl know that you are into her.

That is not necessary, and for many types of game, especially the love-at-first-sight, or insta-passion types of game, it is counter productive.

It’s perfectly fine, and even good to project interest. Even strong horniness.


The end.


Actually not the end. Actually, even neediness can be calibrated. A rule of thumb is to show 1/3 or less that the girl is showing. If she’s not emotionally invested in you, show no emotional investment. But hold it out there as a possibility that she could possibly gain hand over you and gain a beta boy toy. That’s called the beta bait and switch. Or it’s called showing a little underbelly. Or it’s called contrast game. Calibration. Even neediness is a useful attraction trigger. Especially to player girls who are looking for an easy mark to sponsor her. Or marriage minded girls. Same thing.


If you want the hot girl, you need to stand out. If standing out were as easy as not paying attention, it would be hard wired into all men’s instincts, and there would be no such advice as be aloof. We’d all know it, because it works.

Ya, but it doesn’t. You play to your strenghs, and pull it off as if you aren’t even trying and don’t care if that particular girl sucks your dick or not. You still have to engage with passion, skill, and finesse.

Not engaging at all is just holding your dick. Engaging while being disinterested is just being an anhedonic Vulcan who is holding his dick.